What Were You Expecting?

Welcome to the World, Princess Bowie

2012-01-22T16:30:00.000-08:00


Me at 38.5 weeks 11/17/11

This post is 2 months overdue. I hadn't realized how long it has been since I updated. I kept meaning to write a new post, but you know how that goes.

The last few weeks of my pregnancy went fairly well. I was tired a lot, but I had my nausea under control. Our biggest concern was that the baby was still breech and was running out of room to turn over. At 35 weeks the doctor told us we'd most likely have to do a c-section. I was really bummed about it. I had both TG and LM naturally. The recovery time for a c-section is a lot longer. Yuck.

At 37 weeks we scheduled the c-section. One doctor was still optimistic that she'd flip, but the other didn't think it would happen. We were hopeful, but went ahead and scheduled the c-section to be on the safe side. We set it for Tuesday, 11/21/11 at noon, when I was 29 weeks. I was a little bummed that I'd be in the hospital for Thanksgiving, but eh..such is life.

On Friday, November 18, we had our last weekly checkup appointment. She was still breech. The doctor said it was possible she'd flip once I went into labor, so I should have an ultrasound to verify before doing the c-section. I could tell he didn't think it was likely. By then, I'd sort of resigned myself to doing the c-section. No, it wasn't ideal, but at least there would be less stress on her and to be honest, it was kind of nice knowing when it would happen. We were able to make plans for TG and LM and the dogs, etc, etc.

That afternoon I took my math final and came home exhausted. I made a list of all the last minute things I wanted to do before the c-section on Tuesday:

Get a mani, pedi and eyebrow wax
Pack hospital bag (I'd started it, of course, but needed to finish)
Clean the house from top to bottom (with help from MM and the kids)
Take MM grocery shopping so he could buy stuff he'd actually cook (MM isn't so great in the kitchen)

..and on and on it went. There wasn't anything major on the list, but there was stuff that needed to be done. That night I was tired and uncomfortable when I went to bed. That was nothing new. I'd been tired and uncomfortable for months. I woke up several times in the night to go to the bathroom and get a drink. The last time I went to the bathroom was about 3:30. After that I knocked out and had some crazy dreams. I woke up again around 5:00 and tossed and turned for awhile. I rolled over and faced MM and started to drift off. At 5:30 my back started hurting so I rolled over the other way....and felt a trickle of liquid run down my underwear.

I poked MM and said, "Either I just wet myself or my water broke." MM said, "You wet yourself. Go back to sleep." You wish, MM. You wish.

I had him haul me out of bed and as soon as I stood up there was a gush of liquid. Alrighty then. Not the most comfortable feeling in the world. My water didn't break with TG. With LM it did, but I was sleeping and most of it had leaked out before I got out of bed. This was a totally new - and pretty disgusting - experience for me.

Aside: Let me tell you something, there was a ton of fluid. A ton. No one told me there would be that much. I soaked through 4 towels and 3 large overnight pads. Plus some. And I leaked all the way to the hospital...and more when I got there. It was crazy.

But I digress. So MM hauls me out of bed and I realized yep, my water has broken. I told him to wake the kids up while I took a shower (which ended up being pointless because of all the fluid, but I didn't find that out until later). He was still in a daze and mostly asleep. It was funny watching him stumble around trying to pack a bag, get the kids ready and get himself ready. Also? MM makes really lame jokes when he's tired. In case you were wondering.

It took us about an hour to get ready to leave, by the time we fed the dogs, got the kid ready, got all our stuff and the baby stuff together, etc. By then my contractions had started, though they were pretty mild. TG had state finals for marching band and had to be to the school by 6:30. She decided she wanted to go ahead and compete so we dropped her off on our way, then dropped LM at my mom's.

We got to the hospital about 7:00am. By then my contractions were starting to get a little worse, though they still weren't too bad. Mostly I was just uncomfortable. We explained about the baby being breech and the scheduled c-section and were directed to the Triage center, just in case we needed to be prepped for surgery. After checking in and having an ultrasound, they determined she was still breech. I was also dilated to 3cm. Had she not been breech, my labor would have gone pretty fast. It just so happened that my doctor was in the hospital doing rounds. He okay'd the surgery and they started prepping me for it.

There was some kind of snafu with the pharmacy and some meds I needed. By the time they got it worked out I was in full blown labor, with contractions coming less than 5 minutes apart. I was NOT HAPPY. One of the benefits of doing a c-section is getting to skip labor, right? MM was great, though, helping me breathe through the contractions and helping me focus on other things.

Around 9 a.m., approximately 4 hours after I went into labor, they wheeled me into the OR and I got my spinal. That was fabulous. Well, at first. Then it was just weird to not be able to move at all. While they prepped me for surgery, MM had to wait outside. They brought him in as soon as I was fully numb. The doctor was already making the incision when MM was led into the room.

The surgery went really fast. I don't know what I expected, but within 5 minutes of him starting. I heard the baby cry. Naturally I started crying then, too. While the doctor finished the surgery (I chose to have a tubal ligation..so no more babies for me) MM went with Princess Bowie while they cleaned her up. I could hear her crying, but hadn't seen her yet. Before they took her out of the room, the nurse carried her over and rubbed her face on mine. Since I was looking at her upside down, I didn't get a good look. I cried harder. MM took a ton of pictures, then followed the nurse out of the room so they could weigh her and all that.

Princess Bowie approx 9:58 a.m.

The next little bit is kind of a blur for me. I know they finished the surgery. What a strange sensation. It didn't hurt, exactly, but there was a lot of pressure while the doctor finished sewing me up. Shortly after he finished they took me into recovery. I don't know how long I was in there before MM and Princess Bowie showed up. As soon as they came in MM brought her over so I could hold her. She was beautiful. I had to ask MM how big she was, because he forgot to tell me.

As predicted, MM fell in love with her about the second she was born. By the time he met me in recovery she owned him. He spent most of the time we were in recovery texting all our friends and family about her. I didn't care since I was busy falling in love myself.

Princess Bowie
Born 11/19/11 @ 9:49 a.m.
6lbs 10oz
18.5 inches long

....to be continued

Weird Cravings

2011-11-12T15:07:00.000-08:00

We've all heard the stories about women who had crazy cravings during pregnancy. Pickles and ice cream. Beet soup. Dirt. (yes, I have a friend who craved dirt while she was pregnant).

Me? I've never had really weird cravings. But I have had weird "for me" cravings.

When I was pregnant with The Girl, I craved McDonald's McChicken sandwiches with sweet-n-sour sauce on them. That's pretty much all I could keep down. I'd have at least one a day. I have no idea why I craved them. It was weird for me, because at the time I hated chicken and didn't eat it at all. But man did I snarf on those sandwiches.

With Little Man, I craved Filet-o-Fish sandwiches from McDonald's. Only..I hate those. I think they're nasty. OMG did I want them, but I couldn't stand the taste. So I'd buy a fish sandwich and a hamburger. I'd take one bite of the fish, then a bite of the burger, then the fish, then the burger. That was the only way I could eat it..if I had something to kill the taste in my mouth.

With this pregnancy? Chicken McNuggets with sweet-n-sour sauce. I don't know what it is with me and McDonald's during pregnancy, but OMG do I crave those suckers. MM finds this very amusing. Sometimes one bite will do me, other times I'll eat 10 of them and still want more. It's crazy.

The worst craving I've had so far, though, was for Krispy Kreme donuts. We don't have a KK near here and they stopped carrying them in our local supermarkets ages ago, so it's probably been 5 years since I had a one. But the Saturday before Halloween I got the worst craving for a cream filled glazed Krispy Kreme. I wanted it SO EFFING BAD. I drove to all the stores in town, to make sure they didn't have any, then went to our local bakery and stood in front of the donut case for a good ten minutes. I just couldn't do it, though. I wanted a Krispy Kreme and that was that.

MM was gone with LM doing some boy scout thing all morning, but when he got home that afternoon I told him we were going to find a Krispy Kreme. He tried to talk me out of it, but I was determined to have one. I figured we could drive to a supermarket out of town to get one. MM told me to call around and see who carried them. No one. I seriously called grocery stores from here to 50 miles away and not one had them. I was so frustrated!

MM said he thought there was a KK about an hour away and told me to look it up. Sure enough, there was one 89 miles away. But...89 miles for a donut? Even I'm not that crazy. I told MM to just go down to the grocery store and buy me a donut. I'd make that work. He said, "that isn't going to take care of your craving, babe. We both know it." He was right, but to drive that far for a freaking donut? No. Just no.

Finally MM said, "I'm driving an hour to get a donut. I'm going to be pissed if you aren't in the car with me."

That, my friends, is the reason I married him.

So we drove an hour to get a Krispy Kreme. We decided to get a dozen and bring them home. The kid behind the counter kept telling me the ones on the top shelf were $.50 more or $.20 more or whatever. Finally, after about the 5th time the kid reminded us, MM said "Look, we just drove an hour for these. I don't think $.20 really matters all that much." The look on the kid's face was priceless. I'm sure my face was beet red, but whatever.

I grabbed a little cup of donut holes at the register, and MM and I ate those on the way home. That night after dinner I cut one of the donuts into 4 pieces and we all had one (me, MM, LM and TG). The next morning MM woke me up with the box under my nose. He said, "How about breakfast in bed?". That set the tone for the day. By the time we went to bed, we'd eaten all but two. The next day (Halloween) I had a doctor's appointment. He said, "you had a little sugar in your urine today. No trick-or-treating for you." I said, "That's because I ate a dozen donuts yesterday." and MM laughed.

You know what? It was totally worth it.

Pregnancy Update: Week 35

2011-10-25T09:00:00.000-07:00

Only 5 weeks to go. YES! I feel like we're finally on the downhill slide. I am so ready for this kid to get outta me. We saw our doctor yesterday. She's still breech (her head is near my ribcage). I really thought she'd flipped over this week, so I'm totally bummed. If she hasn't turned by the time I go into labor I might have to have a c-section. DO NOT WANT. I'm really hoping she turns! The doctor did tell us today that if we go into labor he won't stop it. I really hope I go into labor early (don't tell MM I said that).

I'm super big and uncomfortable now. Just between you, me and the internet, I've gained 45lbs. FORTY-FIVE. MM assures me it's all baby, but we both know he's lying. Still, a lot of it is baby. My stomach is huge. She's starting to run out of room in there, I think, because her kicks have gotten more painful. She's in my ribs and my pelvis a lot, too, which is muy uncomfortable. Sleeping at night has become almost impossible. I toss and turn all night, trying to find a comfortable position. Either that or I'm getting up to pee. I must get up 5 or 6 times a night. Sometimes more. I'm ready to have my body back.

My feet and ankles are swelling like crazy. My right foot swells more than my left, so it looks like I have one normal foot and a giant club foot. I try not to look at them much, since it just depresses me. The good news is I can't see them unless I work at it, so ignoring them isn't hard.

This past weekend the So Cal Bloggers - Tracy, Lori, Renee, Wendy, Rowena and Nikki - threw me a baby shower. It was a ton of fun. I had a blast playing silly games - Pin the Sperm on the Ovaries - and eating excellent food. We got some great gifts. Lori made us a super fabulous diaper cake that I adore! (I'll share more about the shower and pictures later). Last night MM and I went through them and organized everything. I think I'm moving into the nesting stage. I want to get everything in order, just in case I go into labor.

Speaking of, MM says I'm not allowed to go into labor until at least the 19th of November (my due date is the 27th). He has way too much going on at work before then. Plus, he has it worked out so he'll be off a total of 8 weeks, but that won't work unless I wait until after the 19th. Like I have control over when I got into labor? Riiight. Poor MM, he'll learn someday.

The Girl is starting to get really excited for the baby to come. She's great about putting lotion on my feet and she gives me foot massages. She's always asking if she can rub my tummy, too. She keeps saying she's going to take care of the baby so I don't have to, but we'll see how long that lasts once the crying begins.

Little Man is a little hesitant about the baby. I think he's worried about his place in the family once she's born. I know he'll lover he and be a great big brother, but it's going to take some time for him to adjust to the idea of having a little sister and not being the baby anymore. He's still really creeped out by my stomach and refuses to touch it. It cracks me up. I ask him if he wants to feel her move and he runs. Poor LM.

Last time I promised a picture. MM took this after the shower on Saturday. Here it is, me at 35 weeks:

Overheard at Our House

2011-10-24T21:30:00.000-07:00

Tonight MM and I went through all our baby gifts, organized them and wrote thank yous. I started washing all the baby clothes we got and I noticed we had a ton of pink stuff. If you'll remember, MM was in charge of the scanner gun for our registry.

Me: We sure got a lot of pink stuff. I wonder how it all ended up on our registry, MM. Seems to me like you were in charge of the registry gun. That makes it your fault.
MM: Hey, it's your fault we got a girl. If we'd gotten a boy like I wanted we wouldn't have pink stuff.
Me: You need to talk to God about that. He's the one in charge of the sex.
MM: You burned down the Sonic. You have the power. If you'd wanted a boy you would have made it happen.

Freaking MM.

Recipe: Baked Potato Soup

2011-10-04T09:00:00.000-07:00

I found this recipe in The Best of Cooking Light cookbook. If you don't have it, I suggest you get a copy. It's chock full of great recipes that are both tasty and healthy (or healthier, in any case). I have another recipe for Baked Potato Soup that includes a lot more fat and calories, but this one is the one I make most often.

The main thing keeping the fat and calorie content down is cooking the bacon separately. If you don't care about that, you can make this all in one pot (cook the bacon in a large dutch oven, then drain the grease. Add the flour and continue on from there). This will add a lot of flavor (who doesn't love bacon?). Or you can do it the way the Cooking Light way. You still get the bacon flavor, but it isn't as intense.

Baked Potato Soup
(Adapted from The Best of Cooking Light)

4 baking potatoes (about 2 1/2 pounds)
2/3 cup all-purpose flour (about 3 ounces)
6 cups 2% reduced-fat milk
1 cup (4 ounces) reduced-fat shredded extrasharp cheddar cheese, divided
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 cup reduced-fat sour cream
3/4 cup chopped green onions, divided
6 bacon slices, cooked and crumbled
Cracked black pepper (optional)

I also add:

1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon no salt seasoning

Preheat oven to 400°.

Pierce potatoes with a fork; bake at 400° for 1 hour or until tender. Cool. Peel potatoes; coarsely mash.

Lightly spoon flour into dry measuring cups; level with a knife. Place flour in a large Dutch oven; gradually add milk, stirring with a whisk until blended. Cook over medium heat until thick and bubbly (about 8 minutes). - The key here is to stir it continuously. If you don't, the flour will clump and you take the risk of scorching the milk, which is very bad.

Add mashed potatoes, 3/4 cup cheese, salt, cumin, no salt seasoning and 1/2 teaspoon pepper, stirring until cheese melts. Remove from heat.

Stir in sour cream and 1/2 cup onions. Cook over low heat 10 minutes or until thoroughly heated (do not boil).

Ladle 1 1/2 cups soup into each of 8 bowls. Sprinkle each serving with 1 1/2 teaspoons cheese, 1 1/2 teaspoons onions, and about 1 tablespoon bacon. Garnish with cracked pepper, if desired.

Nutritional Information

Amount per serving

Calories: 329
Calories from fat: 30%
Fat: 10.8g
Saturated fat: 5.9g
Monounsaturated fat: 3.5g
Polyunsaturated fat: 0.7g
Protein: 13.6g
Carbohydrate: 44.5g
Fiber: 2.8g
Cholesterol: 38mg
Iron: 1.1mg
Sodium: 587mg
Calcium: 407mg

This is a great fall recipe. It's easy enough to do on a weeknight (especially if you bake your potatoes ahead of time and store them in the fridge). I serve it with warm bread and call it a meal.

Pregnancy Update: Week 29

2011-09-12T08:00:00.000-07:00

I'm tired. Can that be my whole update? Because I am seriously exhausted. I want to sleep 24/7. Ames visited last week and we did absolutely nothing. Don't get me wrong, it was great relaxing and spending a lazy week with her. Still, it would have been great if we'd actually, you know, left the house. (I exaggerate - we left the house on several occasions..most of the motivation involving food and/or books)

Despite being exhausted and wanting to sleep 24/7, I have insomnia most nights. Or I'm uncomfortable enough that I wake up every few minutes, tossing and turning. The only time I'm truly comfortable is when I snuggled into MM and use his back as a heating pad on my tummy. Princess Bowie likes that. See, she's already a daddy's girl.

So far I've gained 32lbs. I look like I've gained 32lbs. Most of it, I will admit, is tummy. I'm huge. If I'm this big at 29 weeks I shudder to think what I'll look like at 40. Especially since the baby gains the most weight the last 2 months of the pregnancy. Eep. I can still see my toes if I bend over and look for them. If I stand up straight and look down...not so much. I can still reach my feet if I sit in just the right position and contort myself in just the right way, but it's very uncomfortable. I painted my own toenails the other day and...yeah, I won't be doing that again for awhile. I'm just glad no one was around to hear me grunting and cursing. Yikes.

The baby is doing well. She's very active - until someone wants to feel her. I think she's shy. Even MM has only felt her once or twice. Whenever anyone touches my stomach she immediately stops whatever she's doing. It's kind of amusing. She's approximately 2.5lbs now and about 15.5 inches long. Or, for comparison sake, about the size of a butternut squash.

Other than feeling tired, I'm doing a lot better. I haven't thrown up in several weeks. I still feel really nauseous in the mornings, but if I take my anti-nausea pill as soon as possible after I wake up I can usually make it through the day without too much trouble. Certain smells and tastes still make me sick, but not like before. Every couple weeks I don't take a pill, just to see if I'm over being sick, and every couple weeks I regret it. I think I'll just keep taking it until the end. At least I can function now. The first few months were not fun.

My feet keep swelling up like crazy. Some days my ankles disappear completely. It sucks. It wouldn't look so bad if my legs weren't so small in comparison. My fingers swell, too, but not to the degree that my feet do.

I'm starting to feel a little stressed out because we haven't done anything for the baby yet. Honestly? I haven't bought one single thing for her. I'm kind of hoping we'll get a few of our big ticket items as shower gifts, but I should still be working on getting things ready for her. I better kick my butt in gear.

TG and LM are starting to get excited, too. TG is especially fascinated with the baby. She'll spend hours with her hands on my tummy, trying to feel the baby. She never has, but that doesn't stop her from trying. LM is..well, he's a boy. I think he'll be a great big brother, but for now the baby isn't real to him.

I started growing out of my bras this last week. As if my boobs weren't big enough before. I really resent having to buy a ton of bras that I'll only use for a few months at most. Of course, MM thinks I should wear nursing bras for the rest of my life. He's tickled by the "easy access". But then he's also the moron who suggested I get a "fake rack" this size after the baby. Oh MM, if you only knew how close to death you came that day.

Speaking of MM, he's doing pretty well with the baby stuff so far. I think it's starting to get more real for him, too. We've been window shopping for baby stuff together online and in the store. He's in charge of the car seat, since there's one specific model that tested better than all the others and he has to have it. I told him to find it and we'll buy it. Not that we have yet..but someday.

I guess that's about it. There might be more, but I'm too sleepy to remember what. Maybe next time I'll post a picture of my ginormous belly.

Adventures in Billing

2011-09-10T13:11:00.000-07:00

In June, The Girl got her braces off. She'd been wearing them for just under 2 years and had great success with them. Her teeth look amazing. We're pretty lucky, because TG is the type of girl who actually listens to the horror stories and heeds the warnings. IE, she always brushed and flossed, made sure to stay away from the no-no food list and, in general, was a model patient for the ortho. Little Man, who got his braces on a couple months ago, is not going to be the cakewalk TG was. But that's a post for another day.

I don't like TG's orthodontist office. I like her ortho just fine. He's personable and knows what he's doing. But the people who work in his office are rude and incompetent. He operates out of two offices. Twice a month he's in the office we visit. The rest of the time he's in his main office. Maybe part of the problem stems from the fact that this isn't his normal office crew.

I went to them myself for some dental work several years ago. I was told I needed a super deep cleaning, a crown and various other dental work to the tune of almost $2600. That's my out-of-pocket portion after insurance. Rather than sitting down with me and showing me a breakdown of just exactly what I needed and what the individual cost of each procedure would be - which is what I asked them to do - they tried to railroad me into starting treatment and assured me "we'd talk after". For those of you who don't know, once they do the work, you're responsible for it. Period. Long story short, we chose a different dentist (who, btw, told me I needed one filling and a regular cleaning..$10 out of my pocket) and never looked back.

Unfortunately we had already signed a contract with them for TG, so we were stuck. I've had nothing but problems with them. I called once to reschedule an appointment because TG was going to be with her dad. This would have meant she'd skip an entire month of treatment. I asked the girl in the front if it would be a problem for her to miss (meaning medically) and she said, "You still have to pay, whether you bring her in or not". And she wasn't nice about it. Ok, I wasn't asking to miss a payment. I was asking if it would hurt her MOUTH to miss a month. Cripes.

Anyway, my mom was taking TG to her ortho appts toward the end of the school year last year and I kept forgetting to send a check with her, which means I fell behind. I had an outstanding balance of $300 in June. When I took TG in for her appointment I told them I wanted to pay the acct in full and just get it out of the way. It was my fault I was behind and I didn't want to have to stress about it anymore. I paid $505.20, which included the $300 I was behind plus the $200 remaining on the contract. They told me I was done and paid in full.

Since TG had gotten her braces off and had retainers, we didn't have to go in for two months. When I took her back in August (I want to say it was 8/1 or 8/2) they told me I had an outstanding balance of $200. I explained that I'd paid my acct in full in June and the office manager says "Yes, I see that you made a payment of $500, but you still owe for July and August". I argued with her and she said she'd audit the acct and let me know.

Naturally I forgot about it..until yesterday. They called to confirm TG's appt and mentioned something about reminding me that all payments are due at the beginning of the month. I called them back and talked to the office manager again. I reminded her of our previous conversation and also told her that I went through the original contract along with the printout of payments she gave me, and that according to both their records and mine the contract had been satisfied. She said could see that it looked like I'd satisfied the account, but she'd have to verify and we could talk about it at TG's appointment today.

So we go in and they call me up..and ask for payment. I explained, again, that we'd just spoken and the account had been satisfied in June. She said "Oh, that's right, I remember now". I told her I wanted a printout from her showing a zero balance for my records and she said she'd get one for me. TG and I went back to get her teeth looked at and when we stopped to make her next appointment the girl asked me for payment. I explained that I'd already talked to the office manager and that the acct had been satisfied. I said "She told me she'd have a printout showing a zero balance for me". The girl goes to the office manager and she replies "I have to audit the account. I know I told you I'd have it done today but I'm swamped. I promise to get to it next week."

Look, I understand being busy, but she she promised to "audit the account" two months ago. She gave me another printout of all the payments I'd made and said she'd be in touch. I said "Look, I need to get this resolved this week. I expect to hear from you no later than Friday". She gave me a frustrated look but said she'd be in touch.

I got home and decided to go through the printout again, just to make sure I wasn't mistaken. I added up all the payments and subtracted that from my original balance and..I owed $300???? WTF? I double checked my math and came up with the same answer. Feeling thoroughly confused, I went through the original payment schedule and contract and came up with a zero balance. Upon further inspection I realize the printout she gave me today starts at 01/01/2010. That's all fine and well, except TG started treatment and got her braces put on in AUGUST OF 2009! The printout is missing 3 payments from 2009.

I called and was told she's swamped but will look into it. I reiterated that I wanted to hear from her no later than the end of the week and she promised to get back to me. I have to tell you, I have zero faith that I'll actually hear from her. If I don't, I plan to go straight to the ortho. I realize he doesn't deal with the billing and etc, but he needs to know how incompetent his staff is. I also plan to file a formal complaint through our insurance company. They shouldn't be able to get away with crap like this.

It makes me wonder, how many others have actually paid the money?

10 Things Reasons I'm Thankful for MM

2011-08-29T12:30:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a dream that MM died. I woke up in a total panic..disbelieving, yet not. I rolled over and snuggled with him for an hour before he had to leave for work. And I made sure to get out of bed and hug and kiss him before he took off (normally I just grunt and roll over when he kisses me goodbye). I was reminded how thankful I am to have him.

Not that this is the first time I've thought so in the last couple months. To be honest, MM is pretty great. Though I'm sure I didn't need to tell all of you that. Still, in the course of every day life, I sometimes take for granted how amazing he is. Or I let the small annoyances overshadow the greatness. Today I'm going to take a minute to remind myself how amazing MM is.

10 Things Reasons I'm Thankful for MM

1. He's a big guy. This means I can wear his t-shirts and boxers to bed even though I'm approximately the size of a baby whale. This is important because I tried on the Rat Bastard's clothes when I was about 6 months pregnant with Little Man - you know, to make myself feel better about how big I was - and couldn't even get them up over my thighs. I'm still traumatized.

2. He puts lotion on my legs and feet now that it's uncomfortable for me to do it myself. He might grumble about it - or flat out bitch - but he does it every day.

3. He shaves my legs, even though it freaks him out a little..ok, a lot. It's a good man that will shave his wife's legs when she's too big to do it herself.

4. He's an amazing father. You'll note I didn't say step-father or soon-to-be father. Because he doesn't act like one. He's a dad, a true one, to both TG and LM. I know he's going to be just as amazing with Princess Bowie. Even if he will occassionally over-share and/or make inapprorioate jokes.

5. He's promised to cook and clean after I have the baby. This might not seem like a big deal, but for MM it is. He doesn't cook or clean. Ever. But he's taking 6 weeks off after her birth and his plan is to..well, I guess to become me. I'm sure I'll have lots of interesting stories when the times comes, but in this case it really is the thought that counts.

6. He tells me he loves me, even when his friends are around. And when he's at work. I wouldn't mind if he didn't tell me every time we hung up when he was at work, because I know the guys can be merciless in their teasing. But he says it, always.

7. He'll do the dishes - if I ask him to - even when he's tried. Yesterday we helped my sister move. MM worked late the night before then got up early to help. He was pretty exhausted when all was said and done. But he still did the dishes before he went to bed (at 6pm..snicker).

8. He tells me I'm beautiful. I'm pretty sure he's lying, but hearing it is always nice.

9. He makes me laugh. Sometimes at him, sometimes with him, but there's never a dull moment around here.

10. He's mine. I don't mean that like I own him. I don't. He's committed himself to me. Full stop. He's still his own man, with friends and interests away from me. But at the end of the day, he's mine. Is there anything more amazing than that?

MM isn't perfect. But he is perfect for me.

Remind me to reference this post the next time he makes a joke about how pudgy I am, will you?

Princess Bowie

2011-08-08T09:00:00.000-07:00

This is the theme we picked out

Remember how I told you MM was a little bummed about us having a girl instead of a boy? Well, I understated that a little. He was really upset. The day we found out he said "I'm not one of those guys who just wants a healthy baby. I want a healthy baby boy!". Poor MM. I should probably be bothered by this. I'm not. It just makes me laugh. Like I said before, I know MM will love this little girl.

Anyway, since then I think he's come to accept that he's having a girl. A couple weeks ago we went to Babies-R-Us to do our gift registry. I made the mistake of giving MM the scanner gun. We got through the first half of the store no problem. But when we got to the bedding section..well MM went a little crazy. Every time I said "this one is cute" MM scanned it. And all the matching accessories. Receiving blankets, mobiles, wall hangings, light-switch covers..the works. We ended up with 5 or 6 of these. A friend asked us later if we'd chosen 1 bedding set..I had no idea what she meant until I went online and looked at our registry. Holy crap.


Pink Camo for MM's princess

Something else I noticed? It looked like a bottle of Pepto had exploded all over our registry. Everything was pink. Pink clothes, pink bottles, pink blankets, pink pink pink pink pink. Apparently MM went crazy with more than just the bedding. I vaguely recall going to the bathroom at one point...I guess I shouldn't have left him alone. The best part? We'd decided to go with a green and brown theme, rather than a pink one. MM must have forgot...

A few days later MM was messing around online and snickering over something. After I bugged him for a bit he showed me what it was...a pink camo bedding set from Cabela's. Pink camo. I said "Are you trying to turn her into some kind of princess? Pink is a princess color."

He said, "There's never been a princess like she's going to be. They're going to model a new Disney princess after her. They're going to call her Bowie, like the knife." A Disney princess named Bowie? Who wears pink camo and...does what, exactly? Frightens all the boys with her superior knife skills? He's such a freak.

Although... I joke, but I've totally been thinking of her as Princess Bowie ever since. So is MM really the freak, or am I?

What's In a Name?

2011-08-01T15:00:00.000-07:00

I'm...surprised...by the number of people who have an opinion about the name of our baby. We really struggled to come up with a boy name we could agree on, but we agreed on a name for a girl almost right away. When we announced the name at our Sex Party everyone had an opinion. Mostly unfavorable. The thing is, the name we chose was one that honored both sides of our family, but that we both really liked. As a matter of fact, it was the name I'd chosen for TG before she was born. In the end I chose to name her something else. But I always liked this other name.

As it turns out, no one else did. People - mostly members of MM's family - went on and on about how they didn't care for it and didn't think we should name our kid that. Then they went to the trouble of thinking up new names for us to name our child. Yes, our child. But apparently we shouldn't name it what we want....

At first I was kind of amused. I mean..the fact that people were so willing to tell us how wrong for us that name was. As time went on I became less amused. Weeks after our party I was still getting emails and phone calls about how the name we chose just wasn't right. Weeks. Don't these people have lives?

Shortly after our party, MM and I discussed it and decided to go with something else. Not because of what his family was saying, but just because we had another name we liked better. We're firmly settled on that now. When we told his family they expressed great relief, going on and on about how the original name just plain sucked.

Excuse me?

If I want to name my kid Peter Pan or Methuselah, that would be no one's business but mine and MM's. We're back to that whole "our child" thing. Ours. Not theirs. Not yours. Ours. Mine and his.

I'm not saying people can't offer an opinion. I don't mind if others disagree with me. When I named TG I heard a lot about how I shouldn't have named her what I did. This seems so much different to me, though. Is it because the name we chose is a family name for MM? Did they think they could be more vocal about it because of that? I don't know. All I know is if I hear one more word about how glad they are that I went with a different name, or how horrible the original name was, I'm going to scream.

What's in a name? Apparently a lot.

If Only....

2011-07-25T09:00:00.000-07:00

The baby has really started moving around. Before the last week or so I could feel her moving but she couldn't be felt from the outside. Recently she's been kicking like crazy and if you catch it just right you can feel her. MM keeps missing it. She stops moving every time he puts his hand on my stomach.

Part of the problem is that MM is impatient. He sets his hand on my stomach and if he doesn't feel something right then he gives up, disappointed. As I get farther along he'll get to feel her all the time. Waiting isn't his best quality, however. He wants to feel it now.

The other night we were in the living room and she started kicking really hard. I moved over to MM and put his and on my stomach. Nothing. He took his hand away and she kicked. He put it back and...nothing. Poor MM. He started to get all pouty. "She never moves for me!" He tried again. Nothing. He gave up. I moved to sit down across the room and I hear MM say:

"I wish she was in my tummy."

Awww.

So do I, MM. So do I.

It's a Girl!

2011-07-20T09:00:00.000-07:00


MM dropped the cake

I just realized I never told you what happened at the Sex Party. After our ultrasound appointment on the 5th we headed straight to the bakery with our envelope. Instead of adding a layer of frosting in either pink or blue in the center of the cake, we decided to go with fresh fruit. Strawberries for a girl and blueberries for a boy.

Our friends and family started arriving around 1pm. We visited for awhile while MM and my dad got the grills ready and then prepared the food. We finally sat down to eat around 3. By then I was getting text messages and phone calls like crazy from people wanting to know if we'd cut the cake yet. Y'all are impatient.

Around 4, we got the cake out of the fridge and gathered around while MM cut it. He put the knife in and pulled it out...it was totally clean. We all laughed and MM continued to cut a piece. He pulled it out and...he dropped it! The look on his face was priceless.

Eventually he got the piece picked up and turned to show us...STRAWBERRIES!

Poor MM was heartbroken. He really, really wanted a boy. I know he'll love the baby no matter what, but it's going to take him a little while to realize that. My girlfriend asked me if it hurt my feelings that MM wasn't crazy excited. No. I'm not bothered at all. MM is going to be an amazing dad to this little girl. If he needs a little while to mourn the son he'll never have, well...I'm ok with that.

Of course that was a week ago and MM has had time to adjust. I think he'll always be a little sad about not having a boy. He's made peace with it, however, and he's starting to embrace it. The other night he was shopping for pink camo bedding on the Cabela's website. heh.

Texting with TG

2011-07-11T09:00:00.000-07:00

Toward the middle of last school year, we told The Girl that if she stayed on Principal's Honor Roll (3.5-4.0gpa) the entire year we'd buy her a cell phone. She'd been begging for one forever, but MM and I didn't think she needed the added distraction. Plus, let's be honest, the kid is not the most responsible. But this year..man, she really did a 180. She only got in trouble once for not turning in homework assignments, and that was because she was absent (she then procrastinated about turning them in, but I can't blame her for not doing them initially). She also worked hard and got good grades the entire year. She managed As and Bs on every report card and finished the year with a perfect 4.0. It was amazing.

Once we told her we'd buy her a cell phone if she made Principal's Honor Roll, she did even better. MM and I shopped around and found a good deal on a Samsung Seek. For now we've restricted her to calls and texts only, but we told her she can earn the right to use the web as time goes on. We're waiting to see how she does. Of course, because I'm the Wicked Mom of the West Coast, she has rules. She's not allowed to text with people we don't know (ie strangers). Her phone really belongs to me, so at any given time I can take it and read her texts/listen to her messages. She's not allowed to delete anything without my permission. She has to plug it in in the living room at night (no taking it to bed with her). Etc, etc.

I expected her to fight me on some if it, but she's been really great about it. Since her and her friends are all pretty young still, I haven't seen anything too crazy in her texts. Plus, we have the added bonus of being able to see where she is all time since we enabled the GPS without telling her. We're mean like that.

About 2 weeks after we gave her the phone I was messing around and checked our text usage. MM had about 450 texts, I had about 700 and TG? Well, she had almost 4000. FOUR FREAKING THOUSAND TEXTS. IN A TWO WEEK PERIOD.

I didn't even know it was possible to send that many texts. Cripes. Lucky for us we saw that coming and had unlimited. She would have been dead otherwise.

Now that she's had it a little while the newness has worn off and she isn't texting as much. She cracks me up with what she does text about. She's so shiny, her texts are often random and silly. Here, let me give you an example.

The other day I was trying to clean the house and couldn't find my cleaning spray. Since TG was the last one I saw with it I texted to ask if she knew where it was (she's with her dad).

Me: Do you know where my bottle of bleach cleaner is?
TG: I hid it in my evil penguin lair. You'll never find it now! Muahaha!
Me: Jerk. Srsly, where is it?
TG: idk
Me: Brat.
TG: I don't! I was only half joking about the penguins! They aren't evil! And they didn't steal ur bleach!
Me: Lies!
TG: haha ... Maybe.

Her evil penguin lair? This kid...

Nausea, Heartburn, Insomnia - Oh my!

2011-07-07T11:00:00.000-07:00

Warning: The first part of this post is a big 'ol whine-fest.

I am not one of those women who loves being pregnant. I don't "glow" or "shine". I don't look healthy and radiant or glory in being a woman in the midst of creating life. I've never understood those women who claim to love being pregnant. What's to love about getting fat and throwing up and feeling like my chest is on fire?

The truth is, I hate being pregnant. I'm nauseous all the time. I get dizzy if I stand up too quickly. I wake up at least 5 times a night with heartburn, or leg cramps, or the violent, desperate urge to pee. My nails are brittle and flaky. My hair is lanky and gross. My hands, face and feet are bloated and swollen. My boobs are huge and sore. So is my stomach.

And I'm only 5 months along. I have another 4 full months to go. Jeebus.

Don't get me wrong, I know in the end it will all be worth it. But the getting there? Yeah, that shit effing sucks.

/whine

In other, better, news, MM and I had our 20wk ultrasound on Tuesday. We also got the results of the state testing and the doctor did a double check via ultrasound. Everything turned out really well. Last time, with Baby Peanut, our state testing came back that we were 1 in 18 for down syndrome. This time we were 1 in 8,600. The doctor confirmed that all looks great. The baby is growing normally and looks good. *huge sigh of relief*

We asked the tech to check the gender but seal the results in an envelope. She thought the idea was cute. The baker looked at us funny when we told her she'd be the only one to know what the sex is, but she thought the idea was cute, too. We're having the party on Saturday.

Oddly enough, I was the one who was anxious to find out the sex. I even got a little annoyed at MM for not letting me peek. Talk about a role reversal. But in the end I agreed to wait until Saturday, so I will. I still don't care one way or the other what we have, but I keep saying it's going to be a girl to annoy MM. Don't tell him, but last night I had a dream that we cut into the cake and it was blue.

TG and LM are with their dad. TG will be gone until July 31. LM will be coming home on July 16, but he leaves the 17th for boy scout camp until the 24th. I'm bummed that they won't be here for the party, but I promised to call them when we get ready to cut open the cake so they can find out when we do.

Our friends and family are having a grand time throwing out the term "Sex Party" and debating over whether it will be a girl or a boy. Who knew this would be so fun?

Anyway, the whole purpose of this post was so I could whine. Since I've accomplished that - and then some - I guess I can sign off now.

Tell me what's good in your world.

Baby Blue Cake

2011-07-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

Image credit: somethingsweetpastry.com

The big argument in our house right now is whether this baby is a boy or a girl. MM and LM say it's a boy, while TG and I say it's a girl. Honesty, I don't really care one way or the other, but since MM wants a boy I say it's a girl to annoy him. We find out the sex on Tuesday.

A few weeks ago my dad was over and mentioned having read an article about a Gender Reveal Party - aka a Sex Party. The basic concept is this: The parents ask the doctor to print a picture of the sex and put it in a sealed envelop, without being told what it is. They then take it to a baker and ask them to bake a cake with either a blue center or a pink center, depending on what the picture shows. Then the parents invite their friends and family over for a party. At the end of the evening, they cut open the cake and everyone finds out together what the sex is, including the parents.

I thought it sounded kind of cute, but didn't think it was for us. Apparently MM didn't agree. Last week I let him talk me into having one of these. I don't quite know how it happened, but there you have it. I honestly didn't think he'd be able to wait to find out. I guess I was wrong. So on Saturday, we've invited about 50 people over and we're all going to find out together what the sex of our baby is. You should have seen some of the responses I got when I sent out invites to a Sex Party.

Since then we've been having very heated debates over what the sex is. I say it's a girl while MM is very firm in his belief (ha, understatement) that it's a boy. He's taken to calling it Baby Blue Cake, because that's what he's sure we're going to see at the party. He's such a crackhead.

What do you think? Baby Blue Cake or Baby Pink Cake?

Cough Cough

2011-06-21T09:00:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's quiet and dusty around here. I didn't realize how long it's been since I updated until today. I guess I should pay more attention. Or not. Whatever.

First things first:

Yes. I'm pregnant. I'm 17 weeks along as of yesterday.

MM and I found out back in March. We decided to play a joke on everyone for April Fools and announce it..then refuse to talk about it. We had bets going on how many people would decide it was a joke and how many would believe it. I said those who know me well would know it was real because I don't celebrate AFD. I haven't since the day Little Man was born. His birthday isn't a joke to me. But I was wrong. Tons of people who know me well thought it was a joke. MM and I laughed at them (you?).

My due date is November 27th. Because I am like the most awesome and best planner in the world. Obviously. I mean, who doesn't want a Thanksgiving baby? The good news is this means I don't have to host the holidays this year. Oh, except MM says we can still do Christmas. I'll have plenty of time to recover by then, he says. Because I'm going to be all about having 30 people at my house for a huge meal 4 weeks after I give birth, yo.

I made MM wait a few months before we told anyone. I wanted to see the doctor first and make sure everything was going to be ok. He wasn't very happy with me about it, but he agreed. We did our first round of testing for genetic disorders and everything came back negative. We're well within normal range so far. I've had my second round of testing (the blood work) and I'm waiting for the results to come in. The specialist we saw last time is conducting the tests and he said he can see no reason for concern. This is, as I'm sure you can imagine, a huge relief to us.

I am super sick again. I'm nauseous pretty much 24/7. I'm not throwing up as much the last week or so, though. I still feel really sick, but I'm not physically getting sick, so good stuff. Certain foods trigger a bad reaction, as do overpowering smells. I'm going to hope this is a sign of things to come and my illness will be gone soon. Cross your fingers for me please.

Aside from baby stuff, things are going well. TG and LM are both doing great. LM was grounded the last 3 months of school because of missing homework assignments and poor grades, but he still managed to make Honor Roll (how does that happen??). He's enjoying being ungrounded for the summer. So am I. TG ended the school year with a 4.0gpa! Yes, a 4.0. This from the kid who used to hide her homework in the bushes and under the couch! It's amazing, I know.

She's playing tennis next year (in High School OMFG) and practice has already started. Practice runs from 8am-10am Mon-Fri for now, and starting next week when it gets hotter 6am-8am. What happened to sleeping in on summer break? I need a nap just thinking about it.

Otherwise life is pretty much the same. I do have some fun baby related stories to share. I'll work on those for later.

My Birthday Present to Little Man

2011-05-14T08:00:00.000-07:00

He's 12 today. He says he likes his gift, but only time will tell if he really loves it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LM!

Make Ahead Meals and Some Tips

2011-04-11T11:00:00.000-07:00

I've talked before about OAMC (Once A Month Cooking). The idea is to do all your cooking for the month in one day. It can be kind of daunting, but it is very effective. I spend a lot less on groceries and eating out, because there's always something in the freezer that can be made quickly.

When Casee was visiting a few weeks ago, she mentioned she tried OAMC once..and she'd never do it again. I can't say that I blame her. Cooking 30 meals in an entire day is..not easy. If you don't think you'll be able to do that, I suggest you try doing Make Ahead Meals instead.

The concept is the same as OAMC, but rather than doing all your monthly meals in one day, you do one or two at a time and toss them in the freezer. For example: Let's say you're making meatloaf for dinner. Instead of making one meatloaf, make two. Then freeze one. The night before you want to make it, allow it to defrost in the fridge and there you go..no prep time on the night of. You can do this with mashed potatoes, gravy and veggies, too. You'll have a full meal in the freezer ready to go. Here's a blog I found that has a list of recipes that can be made ahead: Make Ahead Meals. I also really like this site: Make Ahead Meals for Busy Moms.

Here are a few other tips and tricks:

Make Double and Freeze Half: When you're making dinner for your family, double the recipe (ie, if you're making for 4 double it to 8). Then freeze the leftovers for up to a month.
Cook Rice and Freeze It: I love to make casseroles and stir-fry last minute. Having cooked rice in the fridge is a huge help when I need it quick. So when I make rice for other things I Make Double and Freeze Half. Then I always have rice ready to go on a moments notice.
Buy Bulk and Freeze it Seasoned: I buy a lot of meat at Costco. Buying in bulk can be a lot cheaper. I have a vacuum sealer, so when I come home I season the meat (ie, add taco seasoning to ground beef/turkey, savory seasonings to stew meat, etc), vacuum seal it and freeze it. That means less prep time later.

Something new I'm trying: Make Ahead Crock-Pot Meals. Have you seen those Banquet crock-pot meals in the freezer section at the grocery store? They include everything for a full meal; you just dump it in the crock-pot, turn it on and go. I like the concept. Having something in the freezer that requires no prep can be a lifesaver. Where these products fail is the end result. The over-processed ingredients make for tasteless, mushy meals no one wants to eat.

So instead of buying those, I'm making my own. Take this Chicken and Dumplings recipe for example.Instead of adding the first 12 ingredients directly to the crock-pot, I prepped everything and threw it in a large freezer back. Then I vacuum sealed it and froze it. I also did this with several other recipes. Now I have them in the freezer for a day when I don't have a lot of prep time. I haven't tried one yet, but I have faith that they'll at least be edible. And better for us than something filled with preservatives.

A Post About Random Things

2011-03-27T09:00:00.000-07:00

Here's a list of random things that have been occupying my time/on my mind lately. In no particular order.

1) Muffins. I'm experimenting with different types of healthy muffins. Some are better than others (the cranberry-orange and blueberry are amazing, the blueberry ginger wheat germ were just ok) but I feel like I'm making progress. MM is currently on a crash-diet (post about that to come) and he eats a muffin for a snack every day. Suggests are always welcome.

2) Music. Since we have satellite radio in the house and in the car, I rarely listen to new music anymore. I either have my iPod on or turn the XM to a mix station. So I'm pretty out of the loop about what's new and exciting in the music industry. I've been going through the top billboard hits lately trying to figure out what's good and what's not. What are you listening to right now?

3) Homework Hell. Yes, we're back in Homework Hell. This time it's Little Man. Since the beginning of the year he's been consistently turning in assignments late or not turning them in at all. He just spent 3 months being grounded for not turning in assignments. He got un-grounded and a week later guess what? He didn't turn in his Language Arts homework. I totally freaked out and - in a moment of pure rage - grounded him until the end of the school year. I'm seriously pissed at myself for doing that because when LM is grounded so am I. It sucks not being able to go places and do stuff because my kid was bad. Cripes.

4) Being Mean. Little Man's birthday is coming up (April 1st). We told him he could have a sleepover with his friends, we'd do a family dinner out at a restaurant and my sister made plans to take him to an arcade/pizza place with a friend. But when he got in trouble for not doing his homework - again - I...canceled his birthday. We're still going to do a family dinner but no sleepover and no arcade with my sister. On the one hand I feel like I'm doing the right thing by being tough. He's been screwing up way too much and it's time for us to show him we mean business. Besides, I'm pretty sure we did way worse to The Girl.

On the other hand, I feel like a really terrible mother for canceling his birthday. I mean..it's a birthday. It's like that time MM decided to cancel Christmas..we just kind of can't do that, you know? So..am I being too mean? MM says no. As a matter of fact, MM saw my canceling the party and raised me one - no presents. He says we're not buying any and if LM gets any presents we're going to hold them until he's ungrounded. I think that's pushing it. But..I kind of agree. I mean, the kid isn't taking this seriously. Obviously, I'm conflicted.

5) Nostalgia. I've been feeling kind of nostalgic lately. I reconnected with some old high school friends recently and it's made me realize how different our lives our now. When I login to Facebook the profile pictures of all my old high school friends are filled with kids and weddings and..well, grown up stuff. I haven't been missing high school - never that - but I have been thinking about how far we've come. I'm not even close to being the same girl I was then, and I'm sure the people I graduated with aren't either (for the most part). I guess time flies.

7) Current Events. I don't read the newspaper or watch the news on tv. I haven't for a long, long time. Everything is always doom and gloom. How often do we see anything positive in the news? Almost never. Lately I've been kind of obsessed with current events, though. Every morning I get up and read the headlines..and start my day pissed off. It never fails that I find something that pushes all my buttons. Or something that makes me unbearably sad. I think I need to stick with my romance novels and go back to ignoring the news.

8) Reading. I took a break from reading for awhile. Nothing I picked up grabbed me and I got frustrated with reading 10-100 pages of a book then setting it aside. I know it was me and not the books, but I still got frustrated. I got over it for awhile - I read like crazy the first part of this month - but I'm kind of falling back into the same funk. It's frustrating.

9) The Girl. Last week TG's school had a High School Prep Meeting and sent home sheets for them to pick out their high school classes. I'm just...sick over this. How do I have a child going into high school. OMG. I'm really proud of her. This year she really pulled it together. Earlier in the year I was worried she was going to pull the same old crap with her homework and assignments, but she's been doing great since around November. She made the Principal's Honor Roll (3.5-4.0 gpa) last semester and it looks like she's going to make it again. Matter of fact, she's currently got straight As. I'm so proud.

She qualified for Honors English and Honors Biology (maybe..they're still deciding if they're going to offer it). I'm a little worried about her taking on such a heavy class load (she's also taking Geometry) since she's not always the best about being organized and responsible. I have a feeling high school is going to be a major shock for her. She's staying in band, which I'm really pleased about, and she's also going to take a foreign language. She chose Latin. She said, "Mom, it's a dead language! How cool is that?". She's such a nerd. I love that about her.

10. Being Single. MM and I are fine. He's just been working a lot lately. He's currently out of town and he spent the last two weeks working a crazy amount of overtime (12-16hr days, 6 days a week) so we hardly saw each other. I'm not one of those wives who needs her husband around all the time. I honestly enjoy having time to myself. When MM works late or goes out with the boys I do a little happy dance because that means me time. Yay. But man, these last 2 weeks have been brutal. It really brought home how much I've come to rely on MM for stuff - picking up the slack with dinner, helping with the kids, sex (especially the sex). I remember when I first got engaged to MM and we decided to move in together I totally freaked about not being Single anymore. Now look at me. I actually miss him. Have I come a long way or what?

Happy Anniversary, MM!

2011-03-08T09:31:00.000-08:00

3 years ago today I walked down the aisle and into a lifetime with MM. This year has been kind of a trying one for us, but I think we've come out of it stronger than ever. My life wouldn't be the same without him in it. I guess now would be a good time to thank him for bullying me into marrying him.

Thanks MM. I owe you one.

*image credit: profile-comments.com

Recipe: Cream Cheese and Bacon Stuffed Mushrooms

2011-02-20T12:00:00.000-08:00

I love stuffed mushrooms. I've tried them several different ways, but this is my favorite. The cream cheese and bacon really compliment the mushrooms. These are perfect as an appetizer, snack or even a full meal if you pair them with a veggie.

1 package mushrooms, stems removed and saved for later (I use baby bella's)
1 8oz package cream cheese, softened
Approximately 3 slices bacon, cooked and crumbled (use more or less to taste..I use more, because more bacon is always better)
2-3 tablespoons chopped green onions
1/2 cup Italian breadcrumbs
1 teaspooon no-salt seasoning or Italian seasoning

black pepper
(I don't use salt because the bacon adds enough and I don't like my food extremely salty)

Pre-heat oven to 375. Wipe the mushrooms with a damp paper towel to clean them, then place them bottom up on a foil lined baking sheet.

Finely chop the mushroom stems and add them, along with the cream cheese, bacon, green onions, breadcrumbs and seasoning to a medium sized bowl. Stir thoroughly. Add pepper to taste. Using a spoon, place a large scoop of the mixture into the mushrooms, rounding the top. Bake @ 375, 15-19 minutes, until the cheese mixture is lightly browned and the mushrooms are juicy. Serve immediately.

Manly Men

2011-02-19T20:00:00.000-08:00

MM and Little Man are gone this weekend on a boy scout camping trip. Today we had this text exchange.

MM: Hi
Me: Hi
MM: It's raining now. we have a bunch of sugar filled kids in tents. I'm in a vehicle.
Me: Sounds like all kinds of good fun.
Me: So wait..are you hiding?
MM: Yes we are
Me: Ha, a bunch of grown men, afraid of a few little boys.
MM: They outnumber us 2 to 1
MM: We're hiding from the stupid rain.
Me: Sure you are...
*he sent me a video of the rain outside the car
Me: Wow, it's really coming down. If it doesn't let up are you going to head home early?
MM: Nope we r manly men who hide in cars.
Me: Snerk

You gotta love his sense of humor.

They left super early Friday morning (around 2am) and aren't coming home until late Monday afternoon. Don't tell him I said so, but I'm kind of sorry they're such manly men. It's been a little too quiet here without them. Especially since The Girl chose to spend the weekend with my mom. It's just me and the dogs. I'm keeping myself occupied with my giant to-be-read pile. Not a bad way to spend the weekend all-in-all, but still...a little too quiet.

Steak and a Blowjob Day

2011-02-15T09:15:00.001-08:00

MM and I had this text exchange this morning.

MM: It's steak and a blowjob day
Me: Why is that?
MM: It's the day after Valentine's Day.
Me: Yeah, but you only get the steak and a bj if you do something big for v-day. Since we don't celebrate one, we don't celebrate the other.
MM: We got pizza.
Me: Which I paid for.
Me: So technically you owe me a steak and a blowjob
MM: ...something like that.

I don't think that went quite how he'd planned.

Valentines Day

2011-02-11T12:00:00.000-08:00

image credit zwani.com

Today, Larissa Ione announced an Anti-Valentines Day contest on her blog. The first paragraph of her post fits me to a T. Check it out (modified slightly):

Yeah, I'm a romance ~~author~~ reader. I ~~write~~ read about love and feelings and happily-ever-afters. ~~But if you've read my books, you know that there's~~ I love a lot of blood, gore, and darkness too. Because ultimately, I'm not the kind of woman who gets all squishy when my husband sends me roses. I'd rather he send me a pair of zombie-stomping boots or a good vacuum cleaner. Yep, that's me, practical instead of romantic.
I probably shouldn't admit this…but…*lowers voice to a whisper* I don't even like weddings. My secret is out.

I am definitely more practical than romantic. When I ask for a vacuum for Christmas I really want a vacuum for Christmas. Although I love flowers as much as the next girl, I'd rather receive a pressure canner or really good knife (my knives are absolute shit..I hate using them) than a bouquet.

I'm sure I've talked about this before, but I've never really been a fan of V-Day. The whole exchanging of valentines in grade school never made sense to me - I didn't get excited to give them or receive them. As I got older my confusion increased. What's the point in having one day to celebrate love? Shouldn't we celebrate love all year round? Plus, I feel like many times women use this as an excuse to demand things from their man. I say, Honey, demand all year long.

But the clincher for me was finding out my ex was cheating on me on V-day. We were on our way to dinner with his brother and he just casually dropped into conversation that he'd been with other women. A lot. Needless to say, this just confirmed my feelings about V-Day. In my mind, it's just another day.

I asked MM last night, "Do you feel cheated because I don't like Valentines day? Like maybe I should buy you a card or some shit?". He gave me the most disbelieving look ever. "Are you kidding me? That's the only reason I married you, so I wouldn't have to buy stuff on V-day." Heh. I heart him.

What about you? Are you all hearts and flowers on Valentines Day, or is it just another day for you? Do you have big plans for the weekend to celebrate?

New Year, New Goal

2011-02-02T14:00:00.000-08:00

I completely fell off the exercise bandwagon back in December. I was going along pretty well prior to about the 2nd week of December. I was working out at least 3 times a week, eating fairly healthy meals and had control of my snacking. Then I got busy and stopped going to the gym. It was just supposed to be a brief hiatus, but you know how that goes. I took a day off and never went back.

Since I stopped going to the gym I've gained back 3lbs. 3lbs isn't very many in the grand scheme of things, but it is a step backward. Plus, I've gained a lot of inches..stuff that was firming up is flabby again. 3lbs is really just the beginning. If I don't get back into a regular exercise program and start eating healthy again, I know I'm going to gain the whole 21lbs I lost last year back.

Today I started Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred. I've heard really good things about this program. If day one is any indication, it's going to work. I'm already super sore and I just did the stage 1, 20 minute workout. All I can say is ouch. I'm also going to stop with the late night desserts and the extra snacking. I haven't been too bad about what we eat during regular meals, but the snacking is killing me.

Beyond my weightless goals, I also want to get back into a regular schedule with the blog. I actually do have stories to share..I just never seem to find the time to post them. I'm going to work on that. Although I'm not going to make any promises since we all know I'm lazy. :)

We're going camping this weekend. Since I won't be able to do the 30 Day Shred while we're out, I'm going to do some hiking instead. Hopefully I won't lose momentum because I'm taking a few days off.

Do you have weight loss goals for the new year? Want to do the 30 Day Shred with me?

Christmas...and stuff

2010-12-22T09:00:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's almost Christmas. This entire year seemed to fly by. Generally at the end of the year I look back and think..wow, we had a lot going on! But this year I seem to be stuck in 2009. I keep thinking, "Omg, this happened, and this and..."..then I realize all those things happened LAST year and we haven't really done shit this year.

Ok, we did do some shit - like try to move to Northern Cali, and move into a new, bigger house, and..stuff. But, well, it wasn't cool stuff. Or exciting stuff. Wait, it was cool and exciting then. But now? Not so much.

The point being, where the eff did the year go? How is it already almost 2011? And can I please have another week or two before Christmas so I can get my house clean, my shopping done and my baking out of the way? Please and thanks.

I'm hosting Christmas Eve and Christmas Day again this year. I tried to get out of doing it. Last year I got totally burned out on all the holidays. I hosted Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. While I love my family, and MM's, I was pretty fed up with the lot of them last year and decided I was going to put my foot down about hosting them this year. We went ahead and did our annual Halloween party, because hello, it's Halloween. But I flat out refused to do the Big Three.

In Sept MM and I had lunch with his grandparents. During the course of conversation I mentioned that I wouldn't be hosting the holidays this year. Grandma was disappointed but said she understood. Grandpa didn't really have an opinion - he rarely does - and MM stayed quiet about it.

Once we were in the car I told MM, "I'm so glad we aren't hosting the holidays this year! What a relief." This whole time, MM and I had been on the same page about it. We were both ready for a break. So the next thing he said surprised me. He replied, "Actually, I'd really like to do Christmas at our house. I think we need at least one holiday when we're all together."

WTF???

Naturally I was unhappy to hear this. I'd already been making plans to go skiing for Christmas, or maybe hangign out at the beach. And here was MM, throwing a wrench in my plans. But..he wanted our family to be together. How could I say no to that. Oh right, like this.

NO!

But then he totally threw the "you know Grandma and Grandpa aren't getting any younger" guilt trip on me and I caved like a house of cards. Bastard knows how to hit every time.

So here we are, with family coming in two days. Since we're doing it, we're going all out. MM's family and mine will be here for chili and soup on Christmas Eve, and a full spread on Christmas Day. I think we're looking at about 20 people.

Since the kids are gone to their dad's for the next two weeks I'm not feeling very festive, but I'm going to put on a happy face anyway. I am excited to spend time with our family and just between us I'm glad I won't be alone - it's always so much more depressing without the kids when no one else is around to distract me.

But let's not tell MM that, m'kay?

What are your plans for the holiday?

Cake Balls

2010-12-12T13:30:00.000-08:00

Image credit bakerella.com

I first learned about Cake Balls from Bakerella via Twitter. When I saw the finished product I knew I had to try them. I made some last year and they were amazing. MM and the kids just gobbled them up. They ate so many, I didn't have any left to send out as gifts (which was my intention when I made them).

I promised C2 and Limecello (of TGTBTU and Twitter fame) that I would make them some. But I never did. I just got too busy and didn't end up making any after that first time. I did promise I'd make them some this year, however.

I decided to make carrot cake with cream cheese frosting, dipped in vanilla. But then C2 complained that she doesn't like cream cheese, so I revised it to buttercream. Or something (I haven't decided yet).

Anyway, as promised, here's the recipe for those of you who want to try it. I'm making my carrot cake from scratch, using a Cooking Light recipe, but you can save yourself some time and aggravation by using a mix. Likewise with the frosting.

Carrot Cake

Cooking spray
9 tablespoons butter, softened
2/3 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
2 large egg whites
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup low-fat buttermilk
2 cups finely shredded carrot

I don't like nuts in my carrot cake, but you can add some chopped walnuts or pecans if you'd like.

Preheat oven to 350°.

To prepare cake, coat a 13 x 9-inch baking pan with cooking spray; line bottom of pan with wax paper. Coat wax paper with cooking spray; set aside.

Place 9 tablespoons butter, brown sugar, and granulated sugar in a large bowl; beat with a mixer at medium speed 5 minutes or until well blended. Add eggs and egg whites, 1 at a time, beating well after each addition until pale and fluffy. Beat in 2 teaspoons of vanilla extract.

Lightly spoon flour into dry measuring cups; level with a knife. Combine flour, baking soda, cinnamon, and 1/4 teaspoon salt, stirring with a whisk. Add flour mixture and buttermilk alternately to sugar mixture, beginning and ending with flour mixture; mix after each addition. Stir in carrot. Spoon batter into prepared pan. Sharply tap pan once on counter to remove air bubbles. Bake at 350° for 30 minutes or until a wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool in pan 10 minutes on a wire rack; remove from pan. Carefully peel off wax paper; cool completely on wire rack.

Cream Cheese Frosting

1/2 cup (4 ounces) block-style fat-free cream cheese
1/4 cup butter, softened
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/8 teaspoon salt
2 3/4 cups powdered sugar, divided
1 tablespoon orange sugar sprinkles

To prepare frosting, place the cream cheese, 1/4 cup butter, 2 teaspoons of vanilla, and 1/8 teaspoon salt in a large bowl; beat with a mixer at medium speed until smooth. Gradually add 2 cups powdered sugar, beating at low speed until smooth (do not overbeat). Stir in the remaining 3/4 cup powdered sugar. Cover and chill 30 minutes. Spread frosting over top of cake. Garnish with sprinkles. Store cake loosely covered in refrigerator.

Buttercream Frosting

4 cups sifted confectioners' (powdered) sugar (about 1 pound)
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 tablespoon light corn syrup
1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
1/4 to 1/3 cup heavy or whipping cream

Sift the confectioners' sugar and salt together in a large bowl. In another large bowl, cream the butter with an electric mixer on high until light yellow and slightly thickened, about 3 minutes. With the mixer still running, beat the corn syrup and vanilla. Reduce the mixer to low and beat in the sugar in two additions, beating well after each. Blend in 1/4 cup of the cream all at once until the frosting is spreading consistency, adding a little more cream if needed. Return the mixer speed to high and whip until light and creamy, about 2 minutes more.

Cake Balls (modified from Bakerella site)

1 box cake mix or homemade cake (cook as directed on box for 13 X 9 cake)
1 can frosting (16 oz.)
1 package Candy Coating - CandiQuick is the generic brand I use from Stater Bros - I'm using vanilla for the recipe, but you can use regular, white or dark chocolate
wax paper

1. After cake is cooked and cooled completely, crumble into large bowl.
2. Mix thoroughly with 1 can (16oz) frosting. (It may be easier to use fingers to mix together, but be warned it will get messy.)
3. Roll mixture into quarter size balls and lay on cookie sheet. (Should make 45-50. You can get even more if you use a mini ice cream scooper, but I like to hand roll them.)
4. Chill for several hours. (You can speed this up by putting in the freezer.) - I freeze mine for a minimum of 1 hour. Trust me, the colder these are, the easier they are to dip.
5. Melt candy coating in microwave per directions on package, or on the stove using a double boiler
6. Roll balls in chocolate and lay on wax paper until firm. (Use a spoon to dip and roll in chocolate and then tap off extra.) - I pop them back in the freezer for a half hour or so

These are seriously amazing. I've tried several different variations and haven't been disappointed yet.

You can also try Cake Pops. I haven't yet, though I may at some point in the future. Aren't they cute?

To Move or Not To Move

2010-11-15T10:00:00.000-08:00

..that is the question that's been plaguing us for the last year. Although there are many things I love about living in Southern California, there are just as many things I could live without. The traffic, the barren feel of the desert, the meth-heads. MM is especially unhappy here. He works outside and the temps in the summer are always in the triple digits.

MM is the type of person who goes somewhere on vacation and decides he wants to move there. Every time he goes somewhere he comes home, checks what type of pay he could get, then starts scheming ways to get me to move. The first time he did this was when we were still dating and he wanted to move to Montana. Y'all remember how that turned out. Since then he's focused on Alaska (Snort), Texas, Oregon, Idaho, Nebraska, Northern California and a billion other places I can't remember right now. I'm open to moving, but it has to be somewhere that's good for our family as a whole. Good schools, jobs, housing, cost of living, etc.

MM's dream is to live in a small, out-of-the-way town in the mountains somewhere. I'm opposed to the mountains because of the snow, but I could do a small town. Of course, when I think small town I think around 5,000-10,000 people. MM, on the other hand, thinks 50-100. No, that isn't a typo or a joke. He really wants to live in a town of 100 people.

Now, I've lived in a town of 100 people. It isn't all it's cracked up to be. Especially when you're a kid. Sure it was great to be able to run around from sunup til sundown and know every single person in town, but it sucked balls when you wanted ice cream or pizza or to see a movie and nothing was available. As an adult I can see the frustrations piling up - the price of groceries, the lack of options for shopping/oil changes/etc.

After much (as in A FREAKING LOT) of debate, we agreed to focus our energies on Northern California. It's still relatively close to our families, my brother lives there and MM's retirement wouldn't be effected. Plus, it's green and pretty. Then we did the thing you're never supposed to do when you want to move. We set all our hopes and dreams on it. We fell in love with some of the small mountain and coastal towns. We found excellent shopping and restaurants. We met people we knew we could get close with. We even found houses we absolutely had to have.

Then we didn't get hired. Anywhere.

With the current saturation in the job market, literally 1000s of candidates were applying for the same job. MM made it into the top 5 a few times, but we were passed over in the end. We were crushed. Especially since we thought we'd found the perfect compromise - somewhere high enough in elevation that it wasn't 100 degrees in the summer, but low enough that it didn't dump snow in the winter. Good schools, good access to shopping, amazing landscape and outdoor activites...the whole ball of wax.

Because the kids are about to start high school and we don't want to move them once they do, this was sort of our last shot. If we didn't move this year, we'd have to wait a minimum of 7 years - the amount of time until the kids graduate high school. So the blow was especially crushing. It isn't like we could say, "oh, that's alright, we'll just try again next year."

There are some good things about us not moving. We've made some excellent friends here, and so have the kids. Our families live here, and moving away from them was going to be hard on us. Especially since they're really involved with the kids. MM's job is really stable. But..well, we just had our hearts set on moving.

All is not lost. We'll revisit the idea in a few years, and start making plans. I don't think MM will ever be able to talk me into moving to the mountains, but I'm sure we can find a place that's a good compromise. Especially once the kids have gone on to college.

In the meantime, we did decide to look for a bigger house. MM bought this one when he was single and we grew out of it pretty much the second we moved in. We found a place nearby that's twice the square footage, with a huge fenced yard for the dogs and tons of trees for the kids. I might want to have babies with the kitchen, it's so gorgeous (Casee called it Amazeballs..I agree).

As much as I love the new house, I hate moving. I'm not looking forward to it at all. I have this week to pack. We're moving the bulk of our stuff on Saturday. The good news is that we aren't moving far, so we can take our time and not worry about packing as meticulously as we would have otherwise. I'm clinging to that, because I effing hate moving/packing/unpacking.

Speaking of..I'm hosting a moving party on Saturday. You're all invited. BYOB and BYOS (bring your own boxes and sharpie).

Cruisin'

2010-11-13T11:00:00.000-08:00

We're back from our cruise! I can't believe how fast time flew by. Not only did the cruise come up way faster than I expected, but it was over before I could blink! Four days zipped right by.

We had a great time. Sunday night we drove to Long Beach and spent the night in a hotel. We went with some friends of MM's, and they all had rooms, too. We had a little cruise pre-party in one of their rooms and then had dinner together at Hooters. To make my night even better, Greenbay won (a shocker, I know). They really trounced Dallas. It was awesome.

Monday was cruise day. We left the hotel around 11 - after eating breakfast - to check in and board the cruise ship. I wasn't sure what to expect since this was our first cruise, but it was pretty painless. The line was already pretty long when we got there, but once they start moving people in it went quick. We checked in and got our Sail and Sign cards (which were also the room key), some instructions about boarding and had our bags searched. Then it was time to head onto the ship. We posed for pictures going on, then made our way to our stateroom.

We sailed on the Paradise. I'm not sure what I expected the ship and our room to look like, but both were surprising. The ship was huge, of course, but it wasn't as big as I expected it to be. I never felt like I was going to get lost or that I couldn't find my way around. And yet I never felt hemmed in, either. I was worried that I'd get cabin fever or feel claustrophobic, but I never did. Our room was small, but it wasn't so tiny that we couldn't move around. We spent time relaxing in our room with no problems. Ours was an interior room. I don't know that I'd do that again. It was too disorienting being in the dark like that. Waking up in the morning especially was a bitch, because there was no sunlight available.

After checking out our room, we met our group for lunch on the Lido deck. The restaurant on the deck was a buffet style, with stations for pizza, sandwiches and dessert (MM and another friend really took advantage of the dessert..esp the ice cream). We snuck in there more than once during the course of the cruise for midnight pizza and chili french fries.

We set sail Monday evening around 5:45. We watched the ship leave port from the balcony. Afterward we met for dinner, then turned in early after a few drinks and some dancing. Tuesday we spent the day at Catalina Island. The Island is gorgeous, with green rolling hills and amazing architecture. Most of it is protected land, so it isn't overdeveloped. We stayed in town and did some shopping, then MM and I broke from our friends and wandered around on our own. We ended up playing mini-golf, which I lost (though I still think MM cheated), then having coffee together while we browsed some shops. It was a really great way to spend the afternoon.

We caught up with our friends and headed back to the ship together. Everyone broke up to nap or change for dinner, so MM and I explored the ship. We chose the anytime dining option (meaning we didn't have a set time we had to eat). It's a little more expensive, but totally worth it. Our restaurant was excellent. Over the course of the week we sampled smoked duck, crab cakes, wild mushroom soup. stuffed mushrooms, burgundy wine soaked pears, prime rib, lobster. There were a few things I didn't care for, but overall I was very impressed. We generally met our entire party for dinner, though a few nights we ate with just one or two couples (there were a total of 13 of us, 6 couples and one single woman).

Wednesday we spent the day in Ensenada, Mexico. We had originally planned to do an excursion to La Bufadora (the blowhole) but we decided to nix the idea after some reports of violence and shootings came out. Instead we stayed in town, close to where the shuttles were to take us back to the ship. We browsed the shops and got some souvenirs, then planted ourselves on a patio, drank cheap beer (literally cheap - 20 beers for $10) and people watched. It was a fairly relaxing day for me, though MM was on guard the whole day.

We headed back to the ship early, before dark. After dinner we watched the Newlywed Game, which was hilarious, then caught a comedy show late that night, which was also hilarious. Thursday was an at-sea day. The ship was really pitching and rocking, and I ended up feeling kind of seasick. I rested in the morning, then met MM and the rest of our group for bingo at 11. Afterward we had lunch, then went to an art show they were having. One of our friends ended up buying some amazing artwork.

That afternoon we napped, then met for dinner. Half of our party was doing a special chef's dinner, so the rest of us ate together, then got drinks and relaxed in the piano bar. We saw another comedy show (same comedian, new material - he wasn't as funny this time around), then drank some more. Us girls got a table and gossiped while the guys smoked cigars on the other side of the bar. It was nice to visit and relax. We caught another comedy show later that night, then went to the disco and danced. And then we hit the pizza bar at 2 am, naturally.

Friday morning we met our group for breakfast, then waited to disembark. Once we cleared customs, it was back home to the kids. Boy did I miss them. My mom stayed with them so they wouldn't have to miss school, which was nice for us. THANKS MOM! I love it when the kids are with my mom, because I don't have to worry about them.

We did get a call from our friends on the way home. Somehow my luggage ended up in their truck, so I wasn't able to unpack last night. I also had all the souvenirs in my bag, which means no presents for the kids. Luckily one of our friends lives not too far from here, so she was going to bring my bag to her house so we can pick it up today. I haven't gone through our pictures yet. I hope we got some good ones.

The first thing MM did when we got home was start pricing out another cruise. He wants to take the kids on a family cruise next year, maybe for Thanksgiving. Our friends are going again in January and asked us to join them, but I'm not sure we will. We have a lot going on in the next few months and I think we're going to need January to recover (I'll post about that later). I wouldn't mind doing something over Thanksgiving, though. I guess we'll see.

I'm glad to be home, regardless of how much fun we had. I missed the kids and the dogs. I do wish I could have brought some of the amenities home with me.

I really miss the 24/7 room service, cabin steward and pizza bar.

Recipe: Chicken and Sweet Potato Stew

2010-10-22T08:30:00.000-07:00

Did you know that sweet potatoes are actually healthier than white potatoes? They're lower in calories, higher in fiber and are a good source of Vitamin C, Vitamin A and calcium. They have less iron than white potatoes, but overall they're the healthier choice. Sweet potatoes also don't raise your blood sugar levels as much as white potatoes do. I know that's surprising, but it's true.

Even knowing they're healthier, however, I don't cook with them very often. Mainly because when I think "sweet potato" I think "sweet." The only way I've ever really eaten sweet potatoes is with ham - slathered in butter and brown sugar. They're tasty that way, but I have a feeling the butter and brown sugar sort of cancel out the extra benefits.

TG begged me to get some while I was at the store the other day (she loves sweet potatoes) so I decided to try out some new recipes. This is one I found in a slow cooker cook book. It turned out really good. I served it over rice and the combination was wonderful. It was really savory. Something perfect for a cold winter night.

Prep Time: 15 mins
Cook Time: 6-8 hours

Makes 6 servings (large ones)

4 boneless skinless chicken breasts, cubed (or cut into bite-size pieces)
2 medium sweet potatoes, peeled and cubed
2 medium yukon gold potatoes, peeled and cubed (I omitted these because I didn't have any on hand)
2 medium carrots, peeled and cut into 1/4-inch slices
1 can (28oz) whole stewed tomatoes
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon celery seed
1 cup fat-free low-sodium chicken broth (I buy mine at Trader Joes, but you can make your own if you want)
1 cup cold apple cider (optional)
1/4 cup fresh basil
6 cups cooked white or brown rice

1. Combine chicken, potatoes, carrots, tomatoes, salt, pepper, cinnamon, nutmeg, paprika, celery seed, broth and cider in slow cooker.

2. Cover and cook on low 6-8 hours or 3-4 hours on high.

3. Sprinkle with basil just before serving. Serve over rice.

I'm trying something new and using http://nutritiondata.com to calculate the nutritional information in the recipes I use. Since I tend to modify them to suit my needs, I don't always know exactly what the nutritional value is. I've included the label here. Let me know if you'd like me to keep including them.

Here's a link to the recipe: http://nutritiondata.self.com/facts/recipe/1826755/2

Weekly Menu and Carboholics Anonymous Plug

2010-10-19T22:00:00.000-07:00

Before we move on to our regularly scheduled programming I want to thank all of you for visiting over the last few days and offering so much support. Friday wasn't an easy day, but it wasn't terrible, either. And that's due, in large part, to many of you. So thanks.

Now, let's move on.

I'm still not done with my menu for this week. I mostly have it mapped out, but I need a good recipe for tomorrow. My grandparents are coming over for dinner and they're both doing Weight Watchers. Since I'm not very familiar with how the whole points thing works, I'm not sure how to adjust a regular recipe for them. Any help you can offer would be much appreciated.

Weekly Menu 10/18/10

Monday - Stuffed Peppers
Tuesday - Chicken Provencal served over brown rice
Wed - TBD
Thursday - Ham Steaks w/ Sweet Potatoes
Friday - Chicken and Sweet Potato Stew
Saturday - MM's choice, I'll be out of town
Sunday - Family Night, my choice

I'm being a quasi-vegetarian this month (Casee will be so proud) so I'm using meatless chicken and beef in the recipes above w/ the exception of the ham steaks. The kids don't really notice a difference, which is good. I was worried that the stuffed peppers wouldn't turn out as good since I was using a beef substitute, but they were great.

The chicken sub in the Provencal was a little on the soft side, but that was the least of my worries with that dish, so eh. I had a major SNAFU tonight. I wasn't paying attention and used 2 cups of bullion powder instead of 2 cubes of bullion. I bet you can imagine how that turned out. I was able to save the dish (ie it was edible) but I'll make sure to pay better attention next time.

Tonight I made apple butter for the first time. This past weekend MM and I took the kids, along with my baby sister, to the pumpkin patch. They also have U-Pick orchards, so we brought home a bushel of apples. I have plans for most of them. This my first time making apple butter and I'd say it turned out pretty well. It was a little on the sweet side, so I think next time I'll use honey instead of sugar to sweeten it. Otherwise I can't really complain. The kids adored it and MM said it was great, so I guess that's all that matters.

I would share pictures, but my internet is out and I'm using my cell phone as a hotspot. The connection is really slow right now due to some storms and they won't upload. I'll try tomorrow instead.

Also, yesterday was my day at Carboholics Anonymous. I blogged about letting go of the past and looking ot the future.

Letting Go and Moving On

What are you cooking this week?

The M Word

2010-10-15T14:30:00.000-07:00

This was not an easy post for me to write, and I imagine it won't be any easier to read. Please read on at your own risk.

It's been a year since we lost baby Peanut. Sometimes it feels like it was yesterday, and sometimes like it was a lifetime ago.

We've healed for the most part. It doesn't hurt to look at newborns anymore. I might still feel a twinge when I see a woman snuggled with her brand new baby, but it's just a twinge, not a heart-wrenching pull. MM and I can talk about it without getting upset. We really do feel things happened the way they were supposed, if not exactly how we'd planned.

We even talk about trying again. Maybe this year, maybe next. Or maybe not at all. We haven't decided. But we've reached the point where we can talk about it seriously, without a twinge of guilt or breath-taking sear of pain. I'd say we're in a pretty good place, all-in-all.

But..there is something that still bothers me. Something I struggle with all the time. Something I'm not sure how to deal with.

It's the M word. Miscarriage. It just doesn't seem adequate to describe what we went through.

I went through 5 hours of hard labor and delivery. I screamed as my baby was born, partly because I knew she was already gone and partly from the pain. I held her in my arms and bawled while my husband lost his shit and cried like the world was ending. The word miscarriage just isn't strong enough to convey what I felt when I watched the nurse take her from me, knowing she'd never be coming back. Knowing she'd never really been there at all...that the baby I held was nothing more than an empty shell.

I didn't have a miscarriage. I gave birth to a dead baby. But no one wants to hear that.

Poor Little Man

2010-10-15T09:00:00.000-07:00

Little Man has always had bad teeth. I'm not a dentist or anything, but I honestly think this is genetic. My entire family has problems with their teeth. I remember taking him to the dentist when he was about 5 or 6 and finding out he had 4 cavities.

I admit I probably wasn't making him brush properly at that time (he brushed, just not as well as he should have) but 4 cavities? He and The Girl ate the same foods and what-not and she still hasn't had a cavity. How was it possible that he'd have 4?

6 months later I brought him back for his next cleaning and he had 4 more cavities. Yes, my child had 8 cavities before he was 7. It totally boggles my mind. I remember having a major argument with one dentist because he swore I was giving my kid nothing but sugar. Soda, Kool-aid, candy, etc. Except..I never have. I'm like the sugar Nazi. I always have been. Yes, they have soda and candy occasionally (I've never given them Koolaid) but never in excess. Maybe 1 a month, if that. I especially have to be careful with LM because he tends to be hyperactive. Why would I give my hyperactive kid extra sugar?

Anyway, that dentist didn't believe me. Every time we switch (which we've done quite a bit bc of ins issues) it's the same thing - LM has more cavities and I get a lecture about not giving my kids sugar and making him brush regularly (like I don't? ugh!).

My original dentist, the one who saw LM that first time he had 4, finally realized it wasn't just bad brushing habits and lots of sugar. He told me I'd probably have to get all LM's permanent teeth sealed once they all came in. Then we had to switch dentists and we started all over again.

Today we saw yet another dentist for the first time. Unfortunately the news was worse this time. Not only does LM have a cavity, but it's a really deep one in his back molar. The dentist isn't sure he'll be able to save the tooth without doing a root canal (he's going to try, he just isn't sure he'll be able to). He said LM really should have a permanent crown put on it, but he's too young.

Of course LM was in the room while the dentist was telling me this, so he heard everything. After that first appointment when they had to fill 4 cavities at once, he's been terrified of getting dental work done. He burst into tears as soon as we left the office today. I felt so bad for him.

Of course there's nothing I can do. I really hope the dentist doesn't have to do a root canal.

Weekly Menu, 10/11/10

2010-10-12T10:00:00.000-07:00

I've been really bad about doing weekly menus lately. Over the summer our schedule was hectic and the kids were visiting their dad, so it was easy to forgo a menu. Once they got back and school started, we were busy getting settled back into a routine. Then I started going to the gym on a regular basis and..well, excuses aside, I just haven't done it.

I really need to get back on track. I'm back in the habit of running to the store for 1 or 2 things at the last minute and bringing home a cart full of stuff I don't need. Not only is it bad for my budget to do that, but I've been throwing away a lot of produce that isn't getting used. Bad Holly.

Not only that, but I promised Becky I'd share my weekly menu every week to give her ideas for dinner. So here's my menu for the week:

Monday - Winter Veggie Soup w/ Turkey Meatballs (this was really good)
Tuesday - Pork and Veggie Stir-fry (I have leftover pork loin from last week that I need to use)
Wednesday - Feta, Herb and Sun-Dried Tomato Stuffed Chicken
Thursday - Beef Lettuce Wraps (made w/ meatless substitute because we aren't eating red meat right now)
Friday - Pasta (TBD - maybe something w/ sausage and pesto)
Saturday - Turkey Burgers
Sunday - Family Night, MM's choice

The Winter Veggie Soup I threw together using some leftover veggies I had sitting around; Cabbage, Parsnips, Carrots, Zuccini. I added the turkey meatballs as a kind of last minute thing. I had some ground turkey I needed to use, so I mixed it w/ breadcrumbs, taragon, basil, thyme and soy sauce, then rolled it into meatballs. I added it to the soup during the last 20 minutes of cooking. The soup was good overall, but a little bland because I used low-sodium chicken broth. I'll have to add extra seasoning next time.

I plan to make some kind of special sauce for the turkey burgers on Sat, but I haven't decided what kind yet. Maybe a honey mustard? We'll see. If you want me to share the recipes for any of the above, let me know.

What are your dinner plans this week?

Totally unrelated to this week's menu - Yesterday was my day at Carboholics Anonymous.

Weekly Weigh-In and Getting Back on Track

5 Years Later...I Still Remember

2010-10-08T09:00:00.000-07:00

MM is the sappy one in our relationship. He remembers birthdays and anniversaries, buys gifts just because, gets all mushy and says I love you every single time we hang up the phone~~, watches chick-flicks~~. I never remember our anniversary and just barely remember my birthday, much less his or the kids.

Sometimes I feel really bad about that. Like, MM really puts more into this relationship than I do. He certainly gives more. It isn't that I don't love him as much as he loves me, or that I don't make an effort to let him know I care. It's just that I'm not really an openly demonstrative person. It doesn't occur to me to get all gushy and mushy and say things like, "you complete me". Honestly, it makes me slightly uncomfortable. I get embarrassed and think, "Wow, that was cheesy", even if it wasn't.

That's not to say I don't show my love in other ways. I'm a touchy-feely person, so I might brush his arm or cup his cheek, just because. I also have a million and one pet names for him. Things like babe, ~~idiot~~, ~~jerk munch~~, j~~erkyface~~, ~~ree-ree~~, ~~dummy head~~, sugar-britches, sweet pea and the like.

I also try really hard to show him in other ways that I care. I wash his dishes, do his laundry, make him muffins, cook him dinner and I encourage him to do things like lose weight, clean up his potty mouth and clean the shower.

Even so, I can't help but feel like the scales are tipped in his favor most of the time. But this year, I'm totally going to make up for it. Starting with this blog post.

5 years ago today, MM and I went on our very first date ~~(can you believe I remembered? Me either!)~~. I still remember it like it was yesterday. We me att my office, went to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner, people watched at Starbucks and saw the movie Waiting, which was sooo not a first date movie. I remember the awkward little pause right after he asked if I had kids, the intimacy of offering him the rest of my soup and the feel of his lips against mine when we shared our first kiss at the end of the night.

I remember blabbing about our date to my friends afterward, and feeling kind of giddy excited when he called the next day, but also really, really comfortable, like I'd know him my whole life. I remember spending 4 hours on the phone and using the same phrases and falling like a rock.

So this post is for MM. I love you. I think I loved you right from the start - the second you turned red and asked for my number - it just took me a little while to realize it. And even though it's been 5 years, and I don't always show it, I love you just as much now. Maybe even more, if that's possible.

I know couples stop celebrating their "first date" anniversary when they get married, but since when have we ever cared about other couples?

Happy Anniversary, Babe.

Just because I don't talk about it all the time doesn't mean I don't remember.

See, I'm not a terrible wife.

Carboholics Anonymous

2010-10-04T11:40:00.000-07:00

I've been ~~whining~~ ~~complaining~~ ~~bitching~~ talking about losing weight before our cruise in November quite a bit on Twitter. Because ~~it was obvious I needed help~~ she wanted to get in shape too, the lovely Amber asked if I, along with several other amazing women, wanted to start a ~~support group~~ blog where we could ~~complain~~ ~~whine~~ ~~bitch~~ ~~moan~~ motivate each other. At first I thought, NO WAY! I need another blog like I need another hole in the head. Then I thought, another place to ~~bitch and moan~~ get motivated? Call me crazy, but I said yes.

And so, Carboholics Anonymous was born!

I'll be blogging over there on Mondays. My first post is up:

Bikini Body in 6 Weeks or Less

If you have a minute, come over and say hi. Make sure you check out the other posts, too. I expect ~~to fail miserably~~ great things from all of us, but we need support.

Thank You, MM

2010-09-24T18:43:00.001-07:00

I've been working really hard lately to get back into shape. I gained a ton of weight last year and I plan to lose it all ASAP.MM and I are taking a cruise in November and I want to have a bikini body by then. Of course, that's easier said than done. I've been pretty good about exercising, but I'm totally exhausted this week and I don't feel like doing crap.

Just before MM came home from work today I was trying to talk myself into going to the gym. It wasn't working. As a matter of fact, I'd pretty much talked myself out of it.
Apparently MM had a bad day at work today. He came home in a terrible mood. He got a box in the mail today and TG hid it as a joke. Only MM didn't think it was funny. He got all aggravated and yelled at TG about it which made me mad.

So what did I do? I worked out for 2 hours. Not only do I feel healthier, I'm also not angry at MM anymore. Actually, he's curled up in the couch napping and looks cute (I couldn't have said that an hour ago).

I'm real sorry he had a bad day, but...thanks MM! I needed the workout.

Isn't That Why We Have Kids?

2010-09-22T12:00:00.000-07:00

MM and I have been having a battle of sorts over who turns the lights out in the living room before we go to bed. The rule has always been last one out of the room turns out the lights. It isn't that I mind turning the lights out, but MM makes a big deal of it by rushing in front of me when I'm headed to bed, so he doesn't have to do it.

As if that wasn't bad enough, he's started doing the same thing in our bedroom. We keep our ceiling fan on at night, so when we climb into bed we reach up and pull the cord to shut the light off. The light is directly over our bed, so we usually leave it on until after we climb in. A lot of times we'll read for a bit before we turn the overhead light out. It never fails, even if I put my book down first and and start to snuggle under the covers, MM will throw his book down and lay down first, telling me to shut the light off.

Saturday night The Girl had a friend spend the night. MM and I stayed up until around 11 or so, then headed to bed so the girls could do their thing in the living room (Little Man was spending the night with a friend, so he wasn't home). We both took a shower, then read for awhile. I think we set our books aside about the same time, though I was definitely settled into bed before he was.

He starts telling me I need to shut the light off, and I start refusing. Then he starts poking me and pinching me, trying to get me to do it. I said, "For all the energy you've expended poking me, you could have turned the light on and off 5 times by now!". He just huffed and tried poking me again.

Eventually I got annoyed and pounced on him, pinching his nipples and poking him in the belly. He started screaming like a girl and, satisfied, I rolled back over and snuggled down into the covers again. Then he nudged me, "Come on, Pookie! Turn off the light." WTF? Really, MM? REALLY? After all that he couldn't turn the light off? Don't look at me like that. I couldn't turn off the light at that point! It was the principle of the thing!

Stalemate.

We lay there awhile. Me quiet, MM calling me a spider monkey for jumping on him like a banshee. Then he started in again. "Come on, turn off the light. You know you want to." I'm telling you, I just couldn't do it. The light was in my eyes and annoying as hell, but..no. MM needed to do it.

Then MM gets an idea. I know, because he said, "I have an idea."

He picked up his cell phone and called TG, who was in the living room. He said, "I need you in here right now!" and she said, "Uh..ok?" like, Oh shit, WTF did I do wrong?? I kind of laughed, but don't tell her I said so.

TG tentatively knocked on the door and MM told her to open it. He said, "What were you cooking in there?" since we'd heard some weird noises coming from the kitchen, which shares a wall with our bedroom. TG said, "Nothing! We're just watching stuff on YouTube! I swear." MM said, "Are you sure? We heard noises." TG assured him she hadn't been in the kitchen.

He said, "Ok, well, turn off the light." Then he snickered, because even he couldn't keep a straight face. She said, "Are you serious? You called me in here for that? OMG!" But she turned off the light.

As she was pulling our door closed I heard her say, "OMG, They called me in there to...." to her friend.

Isn't this the reason we had kids? I always kind of thought it was....

Cooking Tips: Rotisserie Chicken

2010-09-21T15:30:00.000-07:00

I'm lazy. This is a well known and well established fact. If I can find an easier way to do something, one that requires less effort, I'm going to go for that before I do something that's harder/takes more effort. There are some things when it comes to cooking that can't be skimped on, but there are a lot of things that can be.

I'm going to tell you a secret. I don't like chicken. I know, I know. But..well, it's just gross. It's slimy and tastes weird. I can only eat boneless, skinless chicken breasts that I prepare. Unless the chicken is shredded or cut up and added to a dish with a lot of other ingredients or heavy sauce.

I don't like rotisserie chicken on its own. Meaning, I would never buy a rotisserie chicken from the grocery store to feed my family for dinner. It's slimy and nasty and doesn't taste very good, IMO. But it's really great to use in a pinch, or when you're pressed for time.

Start with one of these:

I bought mine at Costco for $4.99. It's approximately 3lbs, so that's about $1.70lb, which is less than uncooked chicken generally goes for (at least here in CA).

Remove the skin and pick the chicken:

Then shred it. I use my fingers, but you pull it apart by using two forks. Hold one in each hand, starting with the tines together, the slowly pull them apart:

Once you've done that, you can vacuum seal the chicken (or put it in Ziploc bags) and freeze it, to be used at a later date. You can make soups, casseroles, pasta dishes (hot and cold), tacos and burritos and a million other things I can't think of right now.

Like a Greek chicken pasta salad (try one of these: http://www.food.com/recipe-finder/all/greek-pasta-salad):

You can even vacuum seal (or put in a Ziploc bag) and freeze that:

Here are some (about 400) recipes that use shredded chicken:

http://www.food.com/recipe-finder/all/shredded-chicken

Trust me, there are hundreds more.

MM the Hottie

2010-09-17T17:10:00.000-07:00

Last night MM comes home from work and says, "I have something funny to show you later!". After dinner we went into our room and he showed me a text message. It was a forward and the subject said, "Do you know this sucka?" It was a picture of MM standing next to his bike at work.

He said, "Do you know who that is?" It's hard to tell because his head is down and he's wearing a helmet. I said, "It's you, right? I can tell by the way you're standing."

He goes on to tell me that he ran into a girl at work and she very uncomfortably asked if he knew who was in the picture. He said, "Yeah, that's me" and she said, "I thought so, but I wasn't sure."

Apparently her cousin was out driving and saw MM on the side of the road, snapped a picture, sent it to the girl MM works with. Then called said, "Do you know that dude? Because he's freaking hot!"

Let's take a moment so you can imagine the size of MM's head right now.

Ok, moving on...

MM's response? "Is your cousin hot?"

Freaking MM.

"These words are my diary, Screaming out loud"

2010-09-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

If I get it all down on paper, its no longer
Inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud

I've kept a journal for most of my life (don't get me started about the time my parents decided to start reading it, covertly, and my dad started calling me Journal Girl. Real slick, Dad. Way too keep it a secret that you were snooping...). It's always helped me to get things on paper. Once I've written something down, it's like I've released it. It's no longer inside of me, no longer contained. Maybe that sounds silly, but I totally empathize with the lyrics I quoted above, from Anna Nalick's Breath (2am).

For the last 5 years I've used this blog as my journal. Putting my thoughts and feelings out there for all of you was very cathartic for me. Not only did it get things off my chest, but it had the added bonus of getting an immediate reaction - generally the one I was looking for - to whatever I had going on. And who doesn't like getting an immediate reaction? This was an open forum for me to talk about whatever I felt like I needed to talk about. MM, the kids, my ex, my in-laws, my friends, my family. Putting a humorous spin on certain things helped me cope with them and release a lot of my anger (Tales of the Devil Woman, anyone?).

About a year and a half ago, things in my life changed. MM and I started arguing more than we ever had before, his family started bugging me more than they should, my family was getting on my nerves. I guess I just changed, or my outlook on life did, or something. Whatever it was, the small things in my life stopped being humorous - or, more accurately, I stopped being able to put a humorous spin on them.

At the same time, more of my friends and family started reading this blog. I'm not shy about my feelings and I have no problem telling someone how I feel about them. But telling someone I have a problem with them and having them read it on my blog are two different things. So I stopped blogging about the bad. Mostly because I didn't want to deal with the resulting drama. But worse, I stopped blogging about the good. And eventually just stopped blogging, period. If you look over the posts from the last year - even two - there's not much personal. Mostly each blog post is just filler.

When I started this blog, MM and I were together. Since we don't keep secrets from each other, I gave him the address right away. He's been reading it basically since its inception. I used to joke with him that as soon as we had our first fight he was going to have to stop visiting, because he probably wouldn't like what was being written. At the time I was joking, but I kind of feel like that's where I'm at now. Censuring myself, keeping things inside of me. I don't like it.

I've decided it's time to get back to being me. To blogging about what I want, without worrying who's going to read it. Do I mean to say I'm going to air all my dirty laundry here? No. Do I plan to lambaste my family and friends publicly? No. But I am going to stop worrying that someone will take offense to every word I write. This blog is for me. It's about me. Deal with it.

ETA: Looking back over my post, it kind of sounds like MM and I are breaking up, or having trouble. We're not. We're fine. We just fight more than we used to, which happens. Especially since we never fought. Ever. I'm told that's not healthy... Which must mean we're really healthy now.

Apple Streusel Muffins

2010-09-14T16:30:00.000-07:00

I had a bunch of apples that needed to be used up, so I made cinnamon stewed apples. Then I used those to make Apple Streusel Muffins, which were amazing. I'm not a huge fan of cooked apples, or of apple cinnamon flavored stuff, but these are so amazing I ate three. Good thing I'm going to spin class tonight...

Cinnamon Stewed Apples - I doubled the recipe because I had extra apples)

2 pounds apples (I used Gala and Granny Smith, bc that's what I had. I'd say approx 5-7 apples)
2 tablespoons butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 tsp Nutmeg
1/4 tsp Cloves
1 tsp Cinnamon

Core and slice apples into 1/2-inch slices, leaving peel on. Melt butter in sauce pan over medium heat. Add apples and cook until just softening, stirring frequently (approx 5-7 mins). Stir in remaining ingredients and cook until bubbling. you don't want the apples to fall apart (another 5-7 mins, approx).

I made these last night. I used some on the pork chops I made last night (Pork Chops with Onion Marmalade) and put the rest in the fridge until today.

The recipe for the muffins come from an awesome muffin cookbook my aunt bought me. It's called 1 mix, 100 muffins. It features some awesome muffin mixes. Some sweet, some savory, some healthy. I love it.

I modified this recipe slightly. It calls for fresh apples, but I used my stewed apples instead. I know these came out sweeter because of it, but I can't say for sure how much sweeter. Maybe one of you will try it and come back and let me know. :)

Apple Streusel Muffins

I did 3/4 cup milk and 1/4 cup apple juice, instead of 1 cup of milk, because my family loves apple flavor. As I said, I substituted the stewed apples by cutting them into chunks. I also added a bit of the sauce from the stewed apples to the wet ingredient mixture before adding it to the dry ingredients. I'd say about 2 tablespoons or so. Not a lot, but just enough to give it some extra flavor.

Check out the chunks of apples..yum!

Summer Happenings

2010-09-13T22:00:00.000-07:00

As you can see, I took the summer off from blogging. Things got crazy around the middle of June, and we've been running pretty much non-stop since then. In a lot of ways, we've had an excellent summer. Unfortunately we also had some not-so-great things happen. I lost two of my uncles within a few months of each other.

The first was heartbreaking because I was close with him as a child. Our entire family is close, but I shared a special bond with this particular uncle from an early age. Sadly we'd lost touch in more recent years, but I still mourn the man I grew up with, and the lost opportunity to reunite.

The other uncle I lost wasn't really my uncle at all, but one of my dad's childhood friends. Over the last few years we'd become very close, and he was a strong influence in my life. His death was unexpected and really hit me hard.

Besides those two tragedies, we had a great summer. Busy, but great. We traveled quite a bit. I went to South Dakota, the kids went to visit their dad, MM and I went to Georgia last week and we spent some time at Lake Havasu with some friends. I really had a great time, but I'm glad we're done for now. We need a break and a chance to get things in order here at home. My house looks like a bomb went off inside it and our mountain of laundry is about to topple and kill us all.

The highlights of the summer have to be our trip to Georgia and Ames, of Thrifty Reader, coming to visit. Yes, you read that right. Ames came to visit. Try to contain your jealously. My trip to South Dakota was nice because I got to spend some great one-on-one time with my grandparents and see some family members I don't talk to very often. But the reason for my trip was a sad one.

We went to Georgia last week because my brother was graduating from Army Basic Training. I couldn't be prouder of him. Even though it was a quick trip, I had an amazing time with him and his girlfriend. MM and I are so thrilled we were able to be there to see his ceremony. Plus, I missed him like crazy. Letters just aren't the same as phone conversations, you know?

Ames detailed her trip to my house here. I'm not going to go over all the details again, but I will say I can't wait for her to come back and visit again. We had a great time and she fits in super well with my family. She was like one of us (and yes, you can take that how you will..lol).

Now that things are - hopefully - settling down (no more traveling, Yay!), I plan to start blogging again. I've missed blogging, and all of you.

In kid news, TG started 8th grade (ZOMG, 8th Freaking Grade) and LM started 6th. They're both excited for the school year, because they're both the "big man on campus". LM's school tops out at 6th grade (Jr High is 7th and 8th here) and TG's tops out at 8th. She's going to be in HIGH SCHOOL next year, can you believe it? Gah! I get sick just thinking about it.

I have some stories about them to share, so I might start post at Not Dead Yet again, too. I'm not going to many any promises about that, though. We all know how lazy I am.

I did update the web addresses to both this site and NDY, though. I bought the domain for each of them, so the new addresses are:

http://www.momsnotdeadyet.com/
http://www.cranberrytarts.com

The feeds should still work for the blogspot addresses, but you can update if you want.

Anyway, I guess that's about it. I feel so out of touch with most of you, and for that I'm sorry. I've missed you all like crazy and look forward to catching up.

Tell me how your summer has been.

Weekly Menu and Other Stuff

2010-07-07T14:30:00.000-07:00

I've been really terrible about doing a Weekly Menu. The last 3 weeks (Including this one) I haven't done a weekly menu. Mostly because we had various events/activities going on and our schedules have been unpredictable. Even so, I need to start doing a menu again. If we aren't home one night that's fine, but if I don't have a menu I'm scrambling on the nights we are home.

Mostly I'm just rambling, but the point is, I need to do a menu. I'm going to work on that later this afternoon.

On Friday we're going camping for the weekend. MM took the day off and we're going to head up to the mountains until Sunday. We're taking the kids and the dogs, which should be fun. The downside is that my meal planning has to include 3 days worth of camping meals. I usually try to put them together before we go, so we just have to throw them on the fire. Last year I found a ton of great Foil Packet meals and those are what I tend to gravitate toward now.

I may include at least one Dutch Oven meal, as well. MM got a Dutch Oven for Christmas and has been working on learning to use it. I like the idea because 1) it gives MM a chance to play with one of his toys and 2) I don't have to cook. The downside is there's a lot of cleanup with a dutch oven, compared to a foil packet meal or whatever.

I'll probably be busy getting ready for camping tomorrow, but this afternoon I'm going to take the kids to the pool and relax. My sister is going to meet us when she gets off work and my aunt is already there. It'll be nice to do nothing but read and soak up the sun.

I think I'm going to put something in the crockpot before I leave. I have a love/hate relationship with my crockpot. I love how convenient it is to throw everything in there in the a.m. and come home to a ready meal in the evening. But I hate how 75% of the time the meals are mushy or bland or..well, icky. It takes time to find recipes that work and perfect them. Tonight I'm going to try something from this free e-cookbook. I think maybe the Venetian Chicken.

I might try mobile blogging while we're out camping, but chances are I won't be checking back in until next week. Maybe I'll have camping adventure stories to share! Then again..maybe not.

Poor TG

2010-07-06T10:30:00.001-07:00

The RB came down to visit the kids this weekend. I know! Color me shocked. Course it helped that guilted him into it, I'm sure.

Anyway, he took the kids swimming at the hotel he was staying at and...something happened. I'm still not exactly sure what. Something about TG diving for some rings and LM coming up at the same time and kicking her. He got her in the chin pretty good, which caused her bottom tooth to scrape her upper one. Which caused this.... Poor baby! In case you can't see it, her left front tooth is chipped. Not horribly , but enough so that she notices. Since the same thing happened to me when I was about her age, I can sympathize. She has an ortho appt in a couple weeks, so we'll see what he says then. I think he'll probably be able to just sand it down.

In the meantime, I hope her teeth don't become super sensitive like mine. ps. I'm testing the Droid-blogging app. Bear with me.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.4.1

We're So Jacked Up

2010-06-18T14:00:00.000-07:00

MM and I have a very...different kind of relationship. We always have, right from the beginning. Both of us have a very sarcastic sense of humor, and we tend to turn that on each other. We're constantly sniping at each other, or calling each other names, or saying mean things to one another. Years ago Mark's BFF Alf came to visit and he called it "baby talk". Instead of saying things like, "i love my snooky wookims" or whatever, we say things like, "you're an idiot" or "you're so dumb!".

It works for us. Maybe it's because we're both so secure in our marriage, or maybe it's just because we are, at heart, fucked up people. I don't know. All I know is that if we aren't insulting each other in some way, then something is wrong.

I imagine we probably make other people uncomfortable. We don't do it on purpose, I promise. I'm sure it probably seems like we're constantly fighting or bickering, but really we're just joking.

Take the other day for example. MM had to work on Saturday (last week) and I made plans to have dinner with his sister. I'd promised to take her out for her birthday, and since my kids were with my mom and her kid was with her STBE (soon-to-be-ex) we figured that was the perfect time.

MM was getting ready for work and asked me what my plans were. I refused to tell him, just because it drives him insane when I have a secret (srsly, he's like a little kid..he just HAS TO KNOW RIGHT NOW). I told him I had a date and not to worry about the details. He kept pushing me to tell him and I kept telling him no to worry about it.

Eventually I told him what I was doing for real, and he called me an assclown for drawing it out. Then he said, "I don't want to go to work tonight!"

I said, "But honey, if you don't go to work how am I going to screw my boyfriend in our bed?"

He said, "You aren't. It's my sole purpose as your husband to keep you from screwing other men, in our bed or otherwise."

I said, "Man, that's cold. You won't give me any but you won't let me get some from someone else, either. Jacked up."

Then we both laughed and I gave him a kiss. To the outside person, that probably sounded really, really bad. But..well, I'd never cheat on MM. And he knows it. Just like I know he'd never cheat on me. Ever. We're solid.

Another example. We were at my grandparents house the other night for dinner and MM was telling me about this girl (that's a story for another day) he saw. He was telling me she was fat. I said, "Fat like me? Or like fat fat?"

He said, "Not really like you. Mostly bigger. Her butt was bigger than yours, anyway."

My sister, who was also in the room, says, "WTF? I'll have none of that. Sister, you aren't fat!"

But I wasn't offended. I mean, sure, I know I've put on some weight (I'm still working on it..down 14lbs now), but I also know MM doesn't think I'm fat. Though I do love to tease him about it. And even though it sounded really jacked up, he and I were on the same page. Talking about me being fat was almost like talking in code - I meant was she not fat, but carrying around a few extra pounds (like me). He was saying she wasn't need-a-crane-obese but she had more extra weight than I do.

See, we really are jacked up.

Recipe: Stuffed Zucchini Baked in Tomato Sauce

2010-06-11T09:00:00.000-07:00

This turned out pretty good. It would have been excellent, I think, but I forgot an ingredient (the breadcrumbs) and used a not-so-great sauce from a jar. I don't mind sauce from a jar usually, but I didn't do anything to enhance the flavor of this one and it showed. Tomorrow I'm going to make a huge vat of homemade sauce then can/freeze it. Then I won't have to worry about this in the future.

Anyway, on to the recipe. I got this from an old 1960's Time Life Italian cookbook I found in a used book store. I've been pretty impressed with almost everything I've tried from it.

Zucchini Ripieni
Stuffed Zucchini Baked in Tomato Sauce

1 1/2 cups tomato sauce
4 medium-sized zucchini, scrubbed but not peeled
1/4 cup olive oil
1/2 cup finely chopped onions
1/2 tsp finely chopped garlic
1/3 lb ground chuck
1 egg, lightly beaten
2 ounces finely chopped prosciutto
1/2 cup fresh white breadcrumbs (from French or Italian bread)
6 Tbs freshly grated imported Parmesan cheese
1/2 tsp dried oregano, crumbled
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp freshly ground pepper
1/4 cup mozzarella cheese (optional)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cut the zucchini in half lengthwise and spoon out most of the pulp, leaving hollow boatlike shells about 1/4 inch thick. Set the shells aside and chop the pulp coarsely. Heat 3 tablespoons of olive oil in a heavy 8- to 10-inch skillet, add the onions and cook them over moderate heat for 8 to 10 minutes, or until they are soft and lightly colored Add the zucchini pulp and the garlic and cook for about 5 minutes longer, stirring frequently. With a rubber spatula scrape the entire contents of the skillet into a large sieve set over a mixing bowl and let drain.

Meanwhile, heat a tablespoon of oil in the skillet, add the ground beef and brown it over moderate heat, stirring almost constantly with a large fork to break up any lumps. Scrape the beef into another sieve set over a bowl and let drain.

Now in a large mixing blow combine the drained vegetables and meat. Beat into them the lightly beaten egg, prosciutto, bread crumbs and 2 teaspoons of grated cheese, oregano, salt and pepper and taste for seasoning. Spoon this stuffing into the hollowed zucchini shells, mounding the top slightly.

Bring tomato sauce to a simmer on top of stove, then transfer to a 12-by-16 shallow baking dish. Then carefully arrange zucchini on the sauce. Sprinkle tops of zucchini with 1/4 cup mozzarella and Parmesan cheeses, dibble a few drops of olive oil over them and cover dish tightly with aluminum foil.

Bake on the middle rack of the oven for 30 minutes, removing foil during last 10 minutes of baking so the tops of the zucchini can brown lightly. Serve directly from baking dish. Serves 4-6

MM is a pretty big guy, and he ate two halves (one full zucchini) if that helps in deciding how much to make. I'll definitely make this again, but I'll make the modifications I mentioned above when I do.

Linguine Carbonara, Weekly Menu and Disneyland

2010-06-08T09:00:00.000-07:00

I didn't do a weekly menu last week. We were only home Monday and Tuesday, so I made chicken wraps and then we had leftovers. On Wednesday we drove down to Anaheim and then spent Thursday and Friday at Disneyland with my extended family. We had a grand time, but I have to tell you, I'm not as young as I used to be. Two days of running between two parks, riding roller coasters and a ton of walking seriously did me in. We spent Saturday at the beach relaxing and that did nothing to help in my recovery. I'm going to need a week to get back to normal.

Here's this week's menu:

Monday - Ravioli (I made it from scratch - it was just ok. I'll have to adjust next time and make the pasta thinner)
Tuesday - Mozzarella, Tomato and Basil Couscous (probably I'll add chicken to this)
Wednesday - Chicken Fajitas
Thursday - Stuffed Zucchini
Friday - Spaghetti and Meatballs
Saturday - Tofu Stir-Fry
Sunday - Family night, mom's choice

This week I have Jazzercise Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, and a ton of last-week-of-school activities at both schools so I tried to keep things fairly simple. I'm going to start looking at lighter fare recipes over the next few months. Now that summer has arrived I don't want to heat up the house too much or eat really heavy foods.

Amy asked for the Carbonara recipe I mentioned two weeks ago, so here it is. I used pancetta instead of bacon bits, because Little Man doesn't eat bacon.

Linguine Carbonara

1lb Linguine
3 minced garlic cloves
1 cup frozen or canned peas, drained
3 T extra virgin olive oil
1/2 tsp crushed red pepper
2 eggs - beaten with
1 tbs milk &
3 tbs pasta cooking water
1 cup crumbled bacon (or pancetta)
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
2 tbs chopped flat leaf parsley
freshly ground pepper

Cook the pasta in boiling salted water to al dente (per package instructions). Drain the pasta but reserve a little of the cooking water for the egg mixture.

Heat the olive oil in a large pot or dutch oven. Add the garlic and peas, then cook over very low heat for 5-7 minutes, until garlic is soft. Stir in the red pepper. Next, add the cooked pasta to the pot and stir to combine.

Add the bacon crumbles and the egg mixture and toss. Turn the heat off and add the cheese, parsley and black pepper.

That's it. It's a pretty simple recipe. You can, of course, cook the bacon first, then reserve a bit of the oil and drippings to cook the garlic and peas in. I didn't because of LM's aversion to bacon (which, btw, is beyond wrong if you ask me).

This is the last week of school for the kids. I'll be so glad when they're finally done. If I'm this tired of the school year, I can only imagine how they're feeling. Of course I'm still waiting for their final report cards to come in before I start making plans. If either of them have anything below a B they're going to be grounded for the entire summer. I told MM if they do end up grounded I'm hiring a babysitter to stay with them. I don't want to be stuck at home just because they couldn't turn in their homework. He laughed, but I was serious.

That's about it for me this week. What's new with all of you?

Memorial Day

2010-05-31T12:45:00.000-07:00

To all those who have served, are serving, or will serve in the future: Thank you.

Happy Memorial Day. Please be safe.

*image credit danzfamily.com

OAM(W)C

2010-05-25T11:00:00.000-07:00

Before I met MM, I was on a very strict budget. Being a single mom with two kids to raise and a not-so-great paying job (when you consider the cost of living in CA, I mean), I really had to watch what I spent. I especially kept a very close eye on my grocery budget. Besides books, food is my weakness. Fresh ingredients, impulse buys at the grocery store, etc. I did all my grocery shopping online and had them delivered (my local market offered the service and the delivery fee ($5) was way less than I would have spent on impulse buys) and had a set meal plan.

I cooked Monday-Friday, we had leftovers on Saturday and we ate out on Sundays. Every week, without exception. I also used to do weekly menu planning. On Sunday's I'd sit down and figure out what I was going to make every night for the entire week. It made grocery shopping a lot easier and dinner go a lot faster - none of that standing around at 7:00, wondering what the hell to make for dinner. Especially since I was a single mom with a full time job and two active kids. Have you ever tried figuring out a dinner plan when you work until 5, have baseball and ballet until 7 and homework to do? It ain't easy, I'll tell you that.

When I met MM, all of that kind of fell by the wayside. I moved to a more rural area, so I couldn't get my groceries delivered anymore. Plus, we spent quite a bit of time at MM's house and didn't really have a consistent schedule anymore.

Since MM and I moved in together, my grocery budget has greatly increased. But so has my impulse buying. Instead of making a grocery budget and strictly keeping to it, I've been running to the store for "one or two things" and coming home with $60-$100 worth of stuff. About every other day. I've also been scrambling, looking for something quick to fix at 7 p.m. because I have no clear plan in mind. 90% of the time the meat I want to use is frozen, or I'm missing one key ingredient - which starts the vicious cycle of running to the grocery store for 1 item and coming home with a shopping cart full.

Last week I decided it's time to get back on track. I need to stop the impulse buying and get more organized. Not only will it save me a ton of money in the end, but I won't be scrambling around for dinner ideas when bedtime rolls around.

I'm starting with a weekly menu. Sunday is family night, and we alternate who gets to pick dinner and an activity, so that'll be my free day. Otherwise, I plan to cook Mon-Sat. I have Jazzercise on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday until 6:45, so I need to make sure I have fast, easy meals planned for those days or make something in the crock-pot. I like planning big meals on the weekend, so I'll probably do more complicated/longer recipes on Saturdays. Here's my menu for this week:

Monday - Chicken and Dumplings
Tuesday - Linguine Carbonara
Wednesday - Chicken with Orange Pineapple Juice and white rice
Thursday - Chili
Friday - Steak w/ Maitre D'Hotel butter and twice baked potatoes
Saturday - Lasagna
Sunday - The Girl's choice

While I'm excited to get more organized in the kitchen, I hope to eventually start doing more Once A Month (Week) Cooking. The idea behind OAM(W)C is to set aside one - or two - days a month and spend them making as many make-ahead meals as possible. For example, on Saturday I might make 10 main courses instead of one. Then you freeze them, and have every meal already made for the entire week and/or month.

I used to do this years and years ago, when I was married to the RB. Not only is it a major times aver if you and your family have busy schedules during the week, but it's a major budget saver, too. I figure I'll start with the menu planning for now and work my way up to OAMC, though I'll probably start making an extra meal here and there now, just so I have them in case.

What about you? Do you do any planning in the kitchen? Or are you a seat-of-the-pants cook?

I remember going to friend's house during grade/high school. His mom had a set meal for every night of the week that never changed. I can't remember what it was every night, but Wednesdays were Taco Night and Fridays were Spaghetti Night. Every week, all the way through high school, my friend made sure to be home on Wed and Fri nights, because those were his favorite.

I think I'd get bored making (and eating) the same 7 meals week in and week out, but I kind of like the basic premise.

PS. If you want to start planning your meals ahead or doing OAMC, but don't know where to start, there are some great resources online. Sites like Recipezaar, Betty Crocker, Kraft, and Cooks offer Menus, OAMC suggestions and a ton of make-ahead recipes. And Once A Month Cooking World has all everything you need to get started all in one place.

*image credit SugarMama Baking Co

Emergency Pesto

2010-05-17T10:00:00.000-07:00

I cook dinner almost every night. While I love to cook - and love experimenting with new recipes - there are times where I feel totally uninspired in the kitchen, or when I'm pressed for time. My go-to quick and easy dish is pasta. It's simple, nutritious and tastes great. It's also very versatile. We could have pasta 7 nights a week and never eat the same meal twice.

Something I like to keep on hand for emergencies is Pesto sauce. Pesto sauce is made from a combination of fresh basil (it's important that you use fresh), olive oil, pine nuts, garlic and Parmesan cheese. It's super easy to make and stores great in the fridge (it's also super easy to freeze). If you aren't up to making your own you can also buy it in the refrigerated section of your supermarket. I recommend the Buitoni brand .

Pesto is very versatile. The other night I made Pesto-crusted pork loin with garlic mashed potatoes. Last week I made sun-dried tomato and artichoke angel hair pasta with sun-dried tomato pesto sauce. Sometimes I crumble Italian sausage, toss in some zuccini, squash, onions and bell peppers, coat it with Pesto and serve it with farfalle (bow-tie pasta). I even use it to season steaks and as a pizza sauce. You can do pretty much anything with it.

It has really saved me on many occasions, especially recently when I decided to try a new lemon-garlic shrimp recipe. I can't remember where, but a few months ago I found an amazing light recipe for shrimp pasta with a lemon garlic-butter sauce. This recipe was seriously amazing. MM had to work late (and doesn't eat shrimp) so I made a half portion instead of a full one, figuring the kids and I wouldn't eat as much with MM gone. That was a mistake. The sauce was so good I ended up having to cook a second batch. Unfortunately I didn't save the recipe. A few months later I wanted to make it again, but alas, I couldn't find it anywhere. I remembered most of the key ingredients, but I had modified it and knew I was missing something.

I ended up finding another lemon butter sauce and decided to try it (not a scampi sauce, but close). This was after I'd spent an hour in the kitchen trying to recreate the original and tossing out at least 3 batches because they were terrible. It was starting to get late, so I knew this last recipe was going to have to be it. Only it turned out awful. I don't know if I did something wrong (believe it or not I actually followed the recipe exactly, because I was out of time) or if it was just gross on its own, but OMG....

It had a terrible after taste and the consistency was like slightly undercooked pudding. Slightly undercooked, warm pudding. I decided it was inedible. But now I was left with a mess of a sauce (and because I was determined that we were going to eat it no matter what, I'd added the shrimp) and no dinner. Luckily I had a jar of Pesto sauce in the fridge. I scooped up the shrimp, added it to the pasta and tossed it with the Pesto. Some of the lemon sauce transferred over, but it actually enhanced the flavor in that small amount. After 2 hours of disasters, I had dinner on the table in 5 minutes. Ever since, I've kept an "emergency" jar of Pesto in the fridge.

Here's a recipe in case you're interested in making your own emergency jar.

Ingredients
Compose

3 cloves garlic
2 cups fresh basil leaves (you MUST use fresh basil. Dried basil will completely change the flavor profile of the sauce)
3 tablespoons pine nuts (pignolia) - toasted
1 dash salt and pepper
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
1/2 cup Parmesan cheese grated

Prep

Peel and chop the garlic. Then wash, dry and remove the stems of the basil leaves. Toast the pine nuts by heating them in a non-stick skilled until they're browned on both sides - approx 3 mins on each side on med heat.

Instructions

The traditional way of making pesto is with a mortar and pestle. I, however, have never made it this way. Instead I put all the ingredients in the blender or, more recently, food processor. If you want to do it the traditional way I say more power to you. I'm sure you can google how to do it. If, like me, you want to save yourself some time and trouble, read on.

Place the garlic in the food processor and mince. Then add the basil leaves, pine nuts and salt and pepper. Pulse a few times then scrape down the sides so all the ingredients are at the bottom of the bowl. Turn on the food processor and while it's running drizzle the olive oil through the feed tube until all ingredients are pureed. You may need to scrape the sides down again during this process.

Once the mixture is pureed, gently stir in the Parmesan cheese by hand until fully mixed. Use immediately or refrigerate for up to 10 days (though I'd check it after 5 just to be sure since all the ingredients are fresh).

Enjoy!

*image credit Good Housekeeping

Puppy Love(?)

2010-05-12T13:00:00.000-07:00

My sister-in-law breeds labs and she just sent me pictures of the latest litter. This time she used a new dog to breed (her stud was too old) and she ended up with some yellow labs (usually she just has black). Even though I have 3 black labs at home I'm OH-SO-TEMPTED by the yellow ones. Look how freaking cute!

I just want to go bring them home! My SIL sends me pictures because I refuse to go out there and see them in person. I don't trust myself not to bring one home. Of course I'd never really consider getting another dog, especially not a puppy. The three I already have take all my time and attention.

For some reason The Fat Dog who is no longer fat has developed a serious attitude/behavioral problem. He's been really aggressive the last few months, attacking other dogs (not ours, but stranger dogs), getting into the trash and taking food off the table/counters, not listening, etc. There has to be a reason he's started acting this way, but damned if I can figure out what it is. I can't figure out how to correct the problem, either. It's driving me insane. Then he gets the other two riled up and involved in his schemes.

Of course just when I'm read to send the lot of them to the pound and start over with one of those adorable yellow labs, they do something adorable and my heart totally melts. I'm such a sucker.

Lately Bella's trick has been to run to the back door and bark like she has to go out. But really it's just a ploy to get me to let the boys in so she can play with them. As soon as I open the door she runs to the middle of the living room and takes up a battle stance, then play-attacks them as they run in.

A couple weeks ago MM and I took the dogs out to play and Chewy (the Fat Dog who is no longer Fat) got tired of playing fetch, so he kept retrieving the floaty toy and putting it by our chairs instead of bringing it back to MM. Then Buddy would run over and snatch it and bring it to me and Chewy would just stare for a few seconds before repeating it. So freaking funny.

Right now Buddy is sleeping under the dining room table, dreaming some doggy dream, growling and running in place.

My purpose in posting this is twofold. 1) to remind me why I don't want another dog. Ever. and 2) to remind me why I love the ones I have and don't want to send them to the pound. (the fact that I get to post cute pictures is just a bonus)

Mama Said

2010-04-21T21:20:00.000-07:00

I ordered a new duvet set for my bed. Our bedroom is one of the few places in the house we never decorated. It looks like..well, I guess like a newlywed's room. There's a mismatch of mine and MM's furniture; his dresser and night stand from college, the dresser and nightstand I inherited from my parents years ago, etc. We haven't painted the walls and until today we had a plain white down comforter on the bed.

I don't think I've mentioned it here, but MM and I are talking about moving. We've been researching different areas in Northern California and have settled on one or two we think might suit our family. MM is in the hiring process with two departments there, though we still aren't sure if we want to move. I promise a separate post about that later.

The reason I bring it up now is because I've been hesitant to put any more money into our house, i.e., I don't want to buy paint, etc if we're going to be moving. It just seems silly to sink money into this house when we may not be here another year (we have other home improvement projects planned that we put on hold as well; tiling the kitchen and bathrooms, upgrading the counter tops, etc).

I figured buying some grown up bedding was probably a good compromise. I'd feel like we had a real bedroom and we could take the stuff with us if we move. I got the new stuff in the mail today and washed it right away so I could put the bedroom together (Maybe it's silly, but I was actually pretty excited). We had a dark blue dust ruffle on the bed already, but I liked the light blue one that came with the new bedding. I decided to swap them out.

Now, we have a king sized bed. Moving the mattress was...a PITA. I had to push it off the side of the bed and lean it against the dogs' kennels. But first I had to slide it down, out of the way of MM's nightstand. So I lifted the mattress up and pushed it off the frame. Then I propped it against the dog crates. After adjusting it I set about removing the old dust cover and replacing it with the new one. But apparently I hadn't adjusted the mattress enough because halfway through putting the new one on, the mattress fell. Onto the bed. Where I happened to be. Let me tell you..that shit hurt! We're not going to talk about how long it took me to get that damned bed skirt on - or how long it took to get the damn mattress off me.

That set the tone for the day.

Later, when I was heading into the kitchen with a full glass of water I tripped over one of the dogs and spilled it all over myself. I also broke a nail, stubbed my toe and tripped over a pair of The Girl's shoes.

Around 2 I put a tri-tip in the crockpot so we could have BBQ tri-tip sandwiches. At 6 MM stuck his nose in it and said, "Did you just put this in?" I said, "No, why?" and he said, "Because it's cold.". I guess instead of turning it on "high" I moved it just past that so the dial was set between "high" and "warm", which, incidentally, turned out to be the setting for "freezing fucking cold".

I transferred it to a pan and put it in the oven with the baked potatoes, but I must have punctured the foil on one of the potatoes because about 10 minutes later the house filled with smoke. I opened the door to find a puddle of olive oil on the bottom of the oven that was in the process of burning crispy.

Luckily dinner was fine - the tri-tip wasn't very tender, but that's to be expected when it only cooked for 45 minutes in the oven. But now I have a tummy ache..I think because I ate too much too fast.

It's just one of those days, I guess. I did find this video to cheer me up, though.

Feeling Blue

2010-04-05T13:00:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling kind of blue the last few days. I think there are several factors, the largest being the weather. It's been cold and blustery and not very spring-like, which is making me miss the warm days of summer.

Kay Baby and I wrapped up our weight loss challenge. According to my scale I lost a total of ten pounds, which is...I suppose it's nothing to scoff at, really, but I can't help but feel disappointed. I don't feel any thinner or any healthier, my clothes still fit the same and I still see the same imperfections when I look in the mirror. I think I've decided counting calories and Jazzericse aren't doing it for me, so I'm going to do another 3 month weight loss challenge (this one on my own, I think) and try a new exercise class and Weight Watchers.

I haven't tried WW before, mostly because I'm rather lazy and hate the idea of having to track everything I eat in points. But I've been tracking my calories for months and haven't had a problem, so I think I can do the WW thing. I'm going to sign up to start this week and see how it goes. I also need to cut back on the amount of sodium I have. I've been feeling really bloated and water-logged lately, which I'm sure is a direct result. According to livestrong.com - where I track my calories - my sodium intake for last week was over 20,000 mg. That seems ridiculously excessive, no?

I've also been struggling with the Baby Peanut thing the last few days. I'm really fine for the most part, but...I don't know, I've been seeing a lot of newborns lately and I guess it's just making me blue. Of course this is to be expected - I would imagine I'll struggle with this for a long time to come - and I'm not exceedingly depressed or anything. Just a little sad.

The kids came home from their dad's on Saturday after spending Spring Break with him. As happy was I was to have them home - and I was, believe me - it always takes a few days for them to relax and adjust to being back home. Where they have odious things like rules and vegetables. THE HORROR, I know. By the middle of the week they'll be back to normal - if I'm lucky - but in the meantime I have to deal with temper tantrums and back talk and messy rooms. If only they'd come home the same children they went away...

MM and I have been at odds the last few days. It's rare that we aren't in sync, so it throws me off completely when we are. Things that are very minor seem gigantic when we aren't on our stride. It isn't anything major and I really think we worked it out yesterday, but we had a rough couple of days and I took it much harder than I should have.

I'm just feeling a little blue all the way around.

2 Years and Counting

2010-03-08T10:30:00.000-08:00

Out of all the places we visited this week (and trust me, there were a LOT of places) this is my favorite. This is in Shasta county. We did a mile and a half hike through some gorgeous woods. I adored it.

We're headed home now. I had a wonderful time but I'm so ready to be home. I miss the kids like crazy and I'm ready to get out of the freaking car. I told MM next vacation we're just going to go sit on a beach somewhere and do nothing.

As glad as I am to be heading home, it's kind of a downer too. I had a great time visiting friends and family and I'm sorry we're leaving them. It also sucks because today is me our wedding anniversary.

2 years ago today we vowed to loved one another until death do us part. Since we're both still alive I figure this is cause for celebration. Course it's kind of hard to celebrate in the car...

We aren't planning to do anything for our anniversary. This trip was sort of an early anniversary trip, plus MM bought me a nook and a Kindle, so I figure we're good. Though I wouldn't mind a week on a beach to recover...(hint hint MM).

Dear MM,

You are maddening and infuriating and you drive me to distraction. But I love you more than my life and can't imagine being without you.

Happy Anniversary, babe. Here's to another 70 years of wedded bliss.

Your loving wife,

Holland

Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry

Bittersweet

2010-03-04T15:30:00.001-08:00

MM and I are smack in the middle of our vacation. We've covered a lot of ground over the last few days, visiting friends and exploring towns.

Northern California is so different from Southern Cali. We spent the last couple days in the mountains. Being back in the hills and snow reminded me of home. Don't tell MM, but I really loved it. Of course I only loved it for the 2 days we were there. Visiting for a day or two and living there are two different things.

Now we're heading to my brother's house for a few days. We're going to stay with a friend (I can't wait! It's been way too long since I saw her) and explore wine country and the coast. I'm really looking forward to it. After that we're heading more to the north to check out the redwoods. It should be great.

Even though our trip is going well, today is kind of a bittersweet day. MM and I are very blessed. We're in a beautiful area with friends and family. I know this.

But I should be at home, maybe checking into the hospital, getting ready to have a baby. Today should have been my due date.

I still believe everything happens for a reason and Peanut just wasn't meant to be brought into this world. That doesn't do much to relieve the knot in the pit of my stomach or the tears that well up when I see baby clothes and toys today, however.

This too shall pass. I know. But today is just a bittersweet kind of day.

Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry

More Proof That MM is a Jerkyface

2010-02-26T11:00:00.000-08:00

Not that we actually need more proof, of course, but hey, why not share anyway.

I recently upgraded my laptop (Finally! Woot!). The new one came with Windows 7, which is kind of hard getting used to after having WindowsXP for so long. The changes aren't huge, but they're enough so you notice. I like it it, don't get me wrong, I'm just still feeling my way around it.

One of the things Windows7 has that I love is Sticky Notes. It's like a virtual post-it, right there on your desktop. I don't know why it tickles me so much, but it does. I haven't really used it much yet, but I plan to. I didn't tell MM about the sticky notes because I forgot. I meant to tell him, but you know how it goes.

MM and I are getting ready to go on vacation and I keep telling him things he needs to remind me about later. "Don't let me forget the phone chargers." "Remind me later to make a note for Aunt B about TG's friend coming over." etc, etc. One of the big ones I didn't want to forget is TG's PSATs. She's taking them next Saturday and I was afraid I'd space it out. I must have asked MM 5x to remind me.

The other night I got a migraine and went to bed early (around 8:30). When I got up the next morning there was a Sticky Note on my computer from MM that said, "Make list for Aunt B w/ TG's PSATs." Because I hadn't told MM about the Sticky Note feature and I know what a complete noob he can be about tech stuff, I was totally impressed. Love kind of welled up inside me and I sent MM a text:

I love you.

A few minutes later:

I love you too. But what did you do? Or not do as the case may be.

Me: I can't just love you?

Him: No. You can't. We're long past the "i love you more, no i love you more" stage. So what did you do.

Me: Jeez, I didn't do anything. i just love you.

Him: Uh huh. So really, what did you do.

Me: I didn't do anything! I just love you. Though that is rapidly changing with these texts.

Him: Oh. Well then I love you too. But I'm still skeptical.

Me: OMG! I just saw the sticky note you left on my computer and I wanted to tell you I love you. That's it. Cripes.

Him: See! I knew it was something. I love you too, Pook-a-loo.

You can't even tell a guy you love him without him getting all skeptical. He's such a jerkyface!

More Shameless Self Promotion

2010-02-25T16:20:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to get ready to go on vacation. On Saturday MM and I are taking off on a week long road trip to Northern California. I'm pretty excited to get away, but I have a ton of stuff to do to get ready. Who knew taking a road trip would be so much work?

Thankfully I have an awesome family. My aunt is coming to stay with the kids while we're gone, so we don't have to worry about them getting to or from school or missing any of their extracurricular activities. My mom is pitching in to help, too, so my aunt doesn't have to do it all alone. Let's hear it for ~~pushing the responsibility onto other people~~ family who rocks!

I don't know if I'll have time to update before we leave but I'll try to stop in and say hello while we're gone.

In the meantime, I've got a few posts up at Not Dead Yet.

In which LM tapes his mouth shut so I don't have to:

More Kid Logic

MM shows his nerdy side with Star Wars references:

Star Wars, MM Style

And more homework fun with The Girl:

I Just Don't Understand

Hey, at least one of us should be able to laugh at my pain and suffering. If I can't, you may as well.

Weight Loss Update

2010-02-22T13:30:00.000-08:00

It's been almost two months since Kay and I started our weight loss challenge. During the 2nd week of January I started counting calories and going to Jazzercise 3x a week. I've been weighing in once a week and updating the ticker on my sidebar with my progress.

So far I've lost just a smidge over 6lbs. Although 6lbs is 6lbs, I can't help but feel frustrated that I haven't lost more. I'm consuming less that 1300 calories a day (for the most part; I adjust on the days I workout) and working out steadily 3x a week. While I don't expect - or want - to lose an extreme amount of weight all at once, I do expect to lose steadily. I lost 3lbs the first week I was doing this. Which means I've lost 3lbs during the last 6 weeks. I'm supposed to be averaging between one and two pounds a week (which is totally healthy and realistic). Obviously I'm off the mark.

The problem is..I don't know why. I'm consuming way less calories and doing way more exercise. Most of my calories have been "good" calories, too. I'm not eating 1300 calories worth of cheeseburgers and french fries each day. Sure, I've slipped up now and again, but not too often. I even gave up drinking coffee and soda. The pounds should be falling off. MM says I'm toning up, but I don't feel like it. Though I haven't been measuring, I don't feel like I've lost any inches. All of my clothes still fit the same.

The worst part is that I don't actually feel any better. I'm still sluggish and tired and I've been having dizzy spells and feeling light-headed. Plus, I just feel..well, fat. Or bloated anyway. I look in the mirror and see the same body from two months ago.

I guess I'm just feeling really discouraged. I'm trying to lose weight the right way. I'm trying to be healthier in what I eat and how I exercise, but the lack of progress is making me want to binge diet or starve myself. Or just say screw it altogether and go back to eating what I want without exercising.

To reach my initial goal, I have to lose 15lbs in a month. That isn't healthy or realistic. Which means I'm not going to make it. I would be ok with that if I was going to come close, but at this rate there's no way I will.

The good news is it sounds like I'm still winning. Even with my slow progress I'm beating Kay Baby, Casee and Scooper. Though really, it's small consolation.

Giving Up Wine

2010-02-16T08:15:00.000-08:00

Niks sent this to me the other day and I just had to share it with all of you.

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?'

'No, I had to stop drinking years ago', the homeless woman told me.

'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.

'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.'

'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked.

'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!'

'Well, I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.'

The homeless Woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'

I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.'

I totally snickered.

What Happend To Lara Flynn Boyle?

2010-02-15T11:45:00.000-08:00

I've seen some pretty sad cases of Plastic Surgery Gone Wrong in Hollywood, but Lara Flynn Boyle has got to be one of the saddest. Over the weekend MM and I watched Baby On Board - which sucked in case you were wondering - and every time LFB had screen time I wanted to cry. WTF did she do to herself?

Here she is before:

Now look at her after:

I don't think her face even moved during the movie. I used to think she was gorgeous, but now? She just makes me sad. There are even worse pictures here. Isn't it awful?

In other news, I'm currently on hold with Verizon to get my username/password for my parental controls reset. When I switched from Time Warner Cable (boo hiss) I signed up for Verizon's online security suite, including parental controls. I loaded it first onto our desktop, and then more recently on our laptops. The way it works is the settings on the main computer (in this case the desktop) automatically transfer to the other computers. So the username/password I set up the parental controls with automatically transfer to my and MM's computers.

Which is fine, except no matter what combination I use it's incorrect. I'm totally locked out of 90% of all websites for "unsafe content". On the one hand I'm thrilled to know it works so well. On the other, I'm just annoyed that I can't visit the sites I want. I'm an adult! Hello.

I hit them up on Live Chat this morning and they reset my password. But when I put it in I get the same "incorrect" message. So I finally decided to call them. Of course I've been on hold now for 27 minutes and still no one has picked up...

ETA: 20 minutes later I'm told I have to uninstall and re-install VISS in order to reset the password. Since I have it on three computers we're going to see if I update the version I have on our desktop if that will fix the problem.

ETA: 20 minutes later I'm still waiting to for it to re-install. If I have to do this on all three computers I'm going to pull my hair out.

ETA: 35 minutes later and I'm still LOCKED OUT. OMFG. Time to call Tech Support again. Save me! 16 minutes on hold and counting....26 minutes and counting...Yay, they picked up. And...now I'm on hold again. 32 minutes and counting...Did a password reset (again) and it didn't work. Now they're going to "figure something else out".

For those of you counting at home, I have now been trying to get my username/password combination from Verizon for my Parental Controls for approximately 3.25 hours. I'm giving it another 5 and then giving up and deleting the whole effing thing.

Sometimes I Forget

2010-02-14T17:34:00.000-08:00

You know, I complain about living in the desert all the time (it's just so freaking brown!). Sometimes I forget just how beautiful it really is.

Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry

Recipes: Chicken Breasts Stuffed with Artichokes, Lemon and Goat Cheese

2010-02-11T09:00:00.000-08:00

I made this for dinner last night and after mentioning it on Twitter and Facebook, several of you asked for the recipe. This actually comes out "The Best of Cooking Light" cookbook. I love this thing. There are some amazing recipes in here and they're all on the light side. They take regular recipes and adapt them so they're more health conscious, which means I can still have meatloaf and mashed potatoes - just a healthier version.

I served this with a mixture of brown and wild rice and green beans.MM and The Girl loved it, but Little Man wasn't too keen on it. Of course LM isn't keen on much besides hot dogs, peanut butter and jelly and ketchup, so take that how you will.

Chicken Breasts Stuffed with Artichokes, Lemon and Goat Cheese

You can stuff the chicken breasts and chill up to 4 hours before cooking.

Yield: 4 servings

Ingredients

2 1/2 tablespoons Italian-seasoned breadcrumbs
2 teaspoons grated lemon rind
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 (6-ounce) jar marinated artichoke hearts, drained and chopped
1 (3-ounce) package herbed goat cheese, softened
4 (6-ounce) skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
Cooking spray

I actually couldn't find goat cheese at my local supermarket (and I didn't have time to drive across town to the one that carries it) so I substituted two tablespoons of low-fat sour cream and crumbled low-fat Feta cheese (which I happened to have in the fridge). It changed the flavor profile, but it was delicious just the same.

Preparation

Preheat oven to 375°.

Combine first 6 ingredients; stir well.

Place each chicken breast half between 2 sheets of heavy-duty plastic wrap; pound to 1/4-inch thickness using a meat mallet or rolling pin. Top each breast half with 2 tablespoons cheese mixture; roll up jelly-roll fashion. Tuck in sides; secure each roll with wooden picks.

Heat a large nonstick skillet coated with cooking spray over medium-high heat. Add chicken to pan, and cook 3 minutes on each side or until browned. Wrap the handle of pan with foil, and bake at 375° for 15 minutes or until chicken is done.

Nutritional Information

Calories:: 234 (30% from fat)
Fat:: 7.8g (sat 3.5g,mono 1.4g,poly 0.5g)
Protein:: 33g
Carbohydrate:: 7.2g
Fiber:: 1.5g
Cholesterol:: 78mg
Iron:: 1.6mg
Sodium:: 545mg
Calcium:: 49mg

Katherine Cobbs, Cooking Light, APRIL 2003

If you decide to make this, stop by and let me know how it turned out.

Judge accuses mother of lying, and now her baby is dead

2010-02-10T12:30:00.000-08:00

I generally don't watch the news, or read about it online. There's just a lot of bad shit in the world and I'd rather not obsess over every bit of it (which I tend to do). But sometimes something is brought to my attention and I just can't get away from it.

In August 2009, Katie Tagle broke up with her boyfriend Stephen Garcia after he allegedly punched her in the face and knocked her out. The two had a son together, Wyatt, who was about 4 months old at the time. In December, Garcia found out Tagle was seeing someone else and freaked out. Since then Garcia continued to threaten the lives both Tagle and her son.

Tagle tried to get a restraining order against him after receiving emails and text messages from Garcia stating he was going to harm Tagle, and/or kill himself and his son. But they were denied.

From Hi-Desert Star:

On Dec. 15, Tagle asked for an emergency restraining order against Garcia, telling Judge Debra Harris in a Joshua Tree courtroom that Garcia had threatened Wyatt.

“He had sent me text messages before that if his son was around certain people … that he would kill him,” Tagle told the judge, according to transcripts of the hearing.

“And that if I wasn’t where I was supposed to be, he’d find me and kill me.”

“What about the threat to shoot you, where did that occur, to hunt you down and shoot you with a gun?” the judge asked.

“That was in a text message, Tagle replied.

When Harris asked for copies of the text messages, Tagle said she had no way of printing them out and her phone was shut off.

The judge denied the emergency order and set a hearing.

Garcia ‘doesn’t pose a threat’

At that hearing, on Jan. 12, Tagle went before Judge David Mazurek in the Joshua Tree courthouse to show cause for a restraining order.

“…On Dec. 31, we were doing our exchange, and he proposed to me, and I said no. He got angry and stole my phone and pushed me down. I made a police report about that,” Tagle told the judge, according to a transcript.

Garcia told the judge the report was “falsely made up.”

Mazurek denied Tagle the restraining order.

“If I grant the restraining order, how do you think that’s going to help with respect to you two being able to raise Wyatt together or work together to make sure Wyatt grows up happy and healthy?” the judge asked, according to the transcripts.

So Garcia has threatened his ex and his child, but the judge wants them to work together to make sure Wyatt grows up happy and healthy. Ok then.

The day after the hearing in Mazurek’s courtroom, Garcia sent a text message telling Tagle to check her e-mail. In it was an anonymous message containing a story called “Necessary Evil.”

The story describes in detail Tagle’s and Garcia’s relationship, from their fights over his video-game addiction, to their breakup, to her new relationship and his failed proposal.

In the end, the story has two endings. In “Happy Ending,” the female character returns to the man.

In “Tragic Ending,” the character takes his son to a lake, puts him to sleep with Benadryl and the baby dies. “He will have a better life with you then (sic) we can give him here,” the man tells God before taking his own life.

Tagle called 9-1-1 after reading the story, and the responding deputy immediately went to the courthouse and obtained an emergency restraining order for her, signed by Mazurek.

However, in Victorville court Jan. 14, Judge Robert Lemkau would not uphold the restraining order and ordered Tagle to immediately give Wyatt to Garcia, as it was the day his scheduled visitation was to begin.

The judge reads this "story" where Garcia basically says "if you don't come back to me I'll kill myself and our son" and DENIES THE RESTRAINING ORDER??? And then demands Tagle give the baby to him to take home? Because that makes ALL KINDS OF SENSE. Especially since the ending is not a happy one.

Via CBSNews.com:

The bodies of the 25-year-old Garcia, of Pinon Hills, Calif. and his son, Wyatt, were found early Sunday on an isolated dirt trail in the San Bernardino Mountains.

The discovery came after authorities learned that Garcia had taken the boy during a court-ordered visit and threatened to kill him and commit suicide.

But even worse? Pictures were uploaded (I refuse to post the picture here) to Garcia's Facebook account showing him and his son sleeping, along with what appears to be a suicide note. This was just hours after the court hearing.

According to Tagle's father, the judge basically accused her of lying.

Transcripts from that hearing are not yet available, but family and friends who were in the court that day with Tagle said the judge appeared not to have read the evidence she presented, including the “Necessary Evil” story and the emergency restraining order obtained by a sheriff’s deputy.

“Just from the very beginning, he didn’t want to listen,” said Rick Tagle, who was in the courtroom. “He started out by saying, ‘One of you is lying and I think it’s you,’ and pointing at Katie.”

The judge also allegedly warned Tagle there would be consequences for lying.

Lemkau did not respond to an e-mail request for comment; the county does not provide judges’ office telephone numbers.

The following Sunday, when Garcia missed his arranged custody transfer with Tagle, she had to call a deputy to get Wyatt back from Garcia’s house.

Friends say discouraged and frightened by her last appearance in court, she did not seek another restraining order or custody change.

“She was afraid she would go before the judge who called her a liar,” her sister said.

I wonder how he'll live with himself now, knowing he handed that 9 month old baby a death sentence?

This story saddens and sickens me. Not only the loss of such an innocent life, but that the justice system failed so miserably.

It also saddens me because I know there are women out there who do lie about domestic abuse, or exaggerate situations to manipulate things in their favor.

Sometimes the world sickens me.

Jazzercise

2010-01-19T08:00:00.000-08:00

Back in March, my sister started going to Zumba (BEWARE: Website has auto-play music) classes. Several weeks ago she invited me to go to one with her and I loved it. It was really fun and a great workout. She told me then that she wanted to find something different because it wasn't working for her anymore. I agreed to look around with her to see if there was something else we can do.

As I often lament, we live in a small town that's a good hour away from civilization. We have a Walmart and a Starbucks, but that's about it. So finding an exercise class close to home wasn't easy. Although I'd prefer to do Zumba - even if my sister wanted something new - the nearest class is 40 minutes away. Instead we decided to do Jazzercise, which is about 5 minutes away.

No brainer, right?

Except..well, there's kind of a stigma attached to Jazzercise. Or there is for me anyway. I expected to see cheesy dance moves and one-piece unitards with shiny nylons, leg warmers, sweat bands and high-tops. (reference video)

Not that I really care about the stigma, but I didn't think it would be a very good workout. I was wrong. It's an excellent workout. It has seriously been kicking my ass. I go three days a week, Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. The first week I thought for sure I'd die at the Thursday class. Last week, my second week, was better, but I still got my ass kicked.

They start you off really hard..you go up quick and come down slowly. The first 5 or so songs are really upbeat and it's a lot of cardio. The next 5 or so songs are dedicated to working core muscles, including a few floor routines do a lot of ab/leg work. My muscles are always screaming by the end of the hour. This week we're doing three in a row since Monday is a holiday. I'm very concerned about making it through three classes back to back.

Besides Jazzercise, in my bid to beat the pants off Kay (and Casee and Scooper, who decided to join) by the end of March, I've also started doing a 1200 calorie-a-day diet. I did really great with it the first week and managed to lose just under 4lbs. Last week I stayed within my calorie range but ate a lot of bad calories (Del Taco and Doritos) and only dropped just over a pound. Still, I'm down almost 5 lbs now, and that's just in the first two weeks of the challenge. So really, I can't complain. Even with the cheesy image I get in my head every time I think about it.

Also? I'm totally winning this challenge.

*thanks to Lindsay for bringing up the video

Remember that package...

2010-01-18T22:12:00.000-08:00

...the one I shipped to Rowena? Well guess what? It finally made it!

I took it back to the post office the week before Christmas and they said they'd send it out again at no charge, though they weren't able to offer an explanation as to why it hadn't arrived the first time (no such number my ass). She hadn't mentioned it and it slipped my mind but guess what? Last week she finally received it. Only a month later.

I might as well say it again: What The Fuck, Post Office?

It's That Time Again...

2010-01-03T22:00:00.000-08:00

Kay and I have started another weight loss challenge. I can't remember if I blogged about it before (I'm too lazy to go look) but just before I got pregnant we signed up to do one together. That didn't work out so well for obvious reasons.

I started gaining weight before I got pregnant, then I gained more while I was pregnant and I haven't stopped gaining since I'm not pregnant anymore. It's become rather ridiculous. So when Kay asked if it was time to do another challenge I said, "Bring it!".

Now that the holidays are over I plan to get back into a regular routine, and I'm making exercise part of that. I'm also going to try to re-train myself to cook healthier. We always eat well-balanced meals, but butter and bacon seem to be major components of every meal. While that works sometimes, it isn't good for the every day.

Starting tomorrow we'll be doing a three month challenge, ending March 1, 2010. Just so you know..I plan to win. I'm bringing my A-game to this challenge, and I won't be going home the loser. Er..staying home the loser. Er..whatever.

The point is, I'm going to win. At the end of these three months I WILL have beaten Kay. Oh yes, I will.

I'm starting out with 17lbs. That's an average of about 6lbs a month, which seems pretty healthy. If I lose more than that, bonus. My total goal is about 23lbs, but I don't want to over do it to start.

I even created a ticker to help me out:

Wish me luck!

Merry Christmas Eve!

2009-12-24T10:30:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's already Christmas Eve. This whole year has flown by. In another week it will be 2010! Isn't that crazy?

I managed to get almost all of my shopping done last week, and I didn't set one foot in a store to do it. I bought everything online and had it shipped. Not only did it save me a bundle (I found some awesome online sales) but it saved me from committing murder just before Christmas.

This year MM and I decided to make our gift theme camping. This year we decided to do a lot more camping, but we don't have a lot of gear. The kids' sleeping bags, for example, were purchased when they were toddlers and are now ripped and falling apart. So we decided instead of doing traditional play-with-them-for-a-week-then-forget-about-them toys to get them good sleeping bags and other camping gear. We even got them flashlights and camping toilet paper for their stockings. (heh)

We did buy them a few other things - they each got a Nintendo DS game to play with, TG got a couple CDs and LM got some DS accessories.

I think MM is most excited about his gift, though. He got a dutch oven. He's over the moon about this thing. Last I heard he's even planning to bust it out Christmas day and make us a dessert. (I'm not holding my breath)

I'm hosting both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day this year (I have for the past couple of years). Tonight we'll have butternut squash soup and chili (and my mom's oyster stew) and tomorrow we'll have a full traditional spread. At Thanksgiving (I still have that post to finish up...) I did something non-traditional and made Italian food. I thought MM and TG were going to stage a full out rebellion. Not that I cared much since I was the one doing the cooking, not them. But still, I figured I'd go back to doing the traditional thing for Christmas.

I'm making a ham, roast beef and all the trimmings. MM's sister and mom are making a turkey and bringing desserts. All in all I think we'll have close to 3o people here. Part of me is looking forward to it, but part of me isn't. My sister spent the night last night and she'll help me get most of the sides ready today, which will help. While we can do the bulk of the preparations tonight, all of the cooking as to be done tomorrow.

I think next year we're going to take a trip during the holidays. As much as I love spending time with my family, it'll be nice getting away from the stress.

The day after Christmas we're taking the kids to their dad's. We split the holidays and this is my year to have them for Christmas, but since they get a full two weeks off we agreed to let them go up to his house for the second week. I'm kind of looking forward to a week of rest and relaxation.

Anyway, I hope all of you have a fabulous weekend.

Merry Christmas!!

Pride and Prejudice

2009-12-21T22:00:00.000-08:00

Nalini Singh blogged about visiting Pemberley (or the house that played Pemberley on t.v.) and also about Darcy, which prompted me to start a YouTube P&P love fest.

I certainly adore P&P in all forms, but I'm partial to a few scenes in the 2005 release. I'm not trying to take away from the epic BBC version (and it IS epic), but there's something so...gripping about this scene from the big screen version.

The rain scene:

Ahh, poor Darcy. Anyway, just thought I'd share. I think I had better go dig out my copy to watch again.

Curl Up with a Book and a Nook contest!

2009-12-21T10:40:00.001-08:00

WTF, Post Office

2009-12-10T18:30:00.000-08:00

Right around Thanksgiving I sent both Casee and Rowena packages of books. This is something I do once a month, or maybe twice a month depending, and I've never had any problems before. Sure, sometimes it takes forever to reach them, but then sometimes it doesn't take any time at all. I usually send them media mail because it costs less and that hasn't ever been an issue either.

Yesterday Rowena sent me an email asking if I'd sent her books. She said she hadn't gotten them yet and was kind of worried that they'd gotten lost. I was kind of worried, too, because Casee got hers and she lives in another state. Rowena's books always get delivered before Casee's.

Rowena said she'd check around her office and see if she could find them and I pretty much assumed they'd been delivered when she wasn't there and someone hadn't told her. But then I got home today and what was on my door step? That's right, Rowena's package. It had been returned to me. Know why?

Because it said there was "No Such Number" as the zip code I put on there. Which I can understand. Sometimes my handwriting isn't the best, and after checking the package I can see where they'd have issues because the "8" looks like a "0".

Only it wasn't Rowena's zip code they couldn't read...it was mine. Now tell me, how is it that the post office can't read my zip code and therefore claims no such number exists, but they can return the package to my house. Does that make a lick of sense?

I plan to take it back to the post office tomorrow to find out WTF the deal is. I better not have to pay postage again either.

See how the arrow is pointing to the return address label?

WTF Post Office. What the fuck.

Totally Random Question

2009-12-08T15:40:00.000-08:00

Believe it or not I actually wrote up an entire blog post about Thanksgiving, with the exception of the final paragraph. Then I got distracted the by the shiny and never finished it. Maybe I'll polish that bad boy off later this week and post it for your entertainment.

Then again maybe not.

Today I bring you a completely random and totally unrelated-to-anything question. First, the backstory:

A year or two ago my cousin came to visit with her family. She has two little girls, one of which was only a couple months old at the time. She forgot her bottle brush, so I went and picked one up for her. She didn't bother to take it with her when she left, and I occasionally use it for glasses, etc. Plus, the bottom detaches and there's a little brush (to be used to clean nipples) in there that works great for cleaning hard-to-reach corners and stuff.

I keep the bottlebrush in the in-sink dish rack (similar to this one) I keep in the rinse side of the sink. It isn't that I use it every day, but it doesn't take up much space and it's convenient having it right there for when I do need it.

Also kept in the rinse side of the sink is my potato scrubber, a scrubby, a washrag and a sponge.

So now the question:

Why does MM's family use my bottle brush to wash the dishes? There's a scrubby-pad, a sponge and a washrag in the sink, but they wash the dishes with the bottle brush? It isn't just one member of his family that does this, either. I've seen his sister, mom and grandma all do it. And I'm not talking about glasses here, either. I'm talking all the dishes, pots and pans included.

Is this normal? Does everyone but me wash their dishes with a bottle brush?

Just curious.

What's Wrong With The Picture...

2009-11-20T23:10:00.000-08:00

...let me lay out the scenario for you and we'll see if you can figure out what's wrong:

We're having a yard sale this weekend, both today and tomorrow. Although I had quite a bit of stuff, I asked my family if they wanted to include their stuff. My parents, grandparents and sister-in-law all decided they did. Since we had so many people and so much stuff, we decided to run the sale for two days - today and tomorrow.

We agreed to start the sale at 7:00 a.m. both days and go until whenever. Because of various work schedules, only my grandparents were available to help me set up today. (Which isn't a big deal, except for all the heavy stuff - like MM's motorcycle (that he may or may not know I'm selling in the yard sale) - that's a PITA to carry without boys around.) They agreed to come over at 6 to help me set up. I promised coffee in exchange for donuts (fair deal, right?).

So this morning Grandma and Grandpa show up with 2 boxes of donuts (I didn't count how many, but I'd guess probably two dozen) before anyone but TG was up. She had one for breakfast then headed out to school. LM and MM's niece (she comes over in the morning to ride the bus with LM) both had donuts for breakfast, too. So did I.

MM was the last to get up (well, the last to eat breakfast anyway) and I come inside from hawking my wares to find him eating oatmeal. There are two dozen donuts on the table and he's eating oatmeal? But the best part? He was in uniform. Isn't that like..against the law or something (har dee har har)?

Catching Up

2009-11-14T12:30:00.000-08:00

I finally started getting caught up in my Google Reader. For the last month or so I've just been skimming titles and marking all as read. But last week I decided it was time to start returning to the land of the living and I actually starting reading all your posts again.

As many of you will have noticed, I also started commenting again. Since I had, oh, I don't know, about 5000 unread posts, I didn't comment on ALL your posts, just the ones I felt I had something to contribute to. I'm hoping to keep on top of it now that I'm all caught up (and believe me, that was a serious undertaking).

I also decided to start posting at the Mom Blog Casee and I started last year, Not Dead Yet. When I went back to work earlier this year we kind of let it fall to the wayside. Then, with me being sick over the summer and Casee being busy with life, we just let it slide. I'm hoping to start posting on a more regular basis both here and there.

In an effort to get things started, I've already posted a new entry. Go forth and check it out if you're so inclined:

Letters on the White Board

ETA: I wanted to add a link to this video for Ames. We constantly look at TFLN together and when I emailed her this one...

(515): Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?

...she didn't get the joke...So Ames, this is for you:

Rockin' the Beer Gut by Trailer Choir

Stuff

2009-11-11T10:00:00.000-08:00

My Cup Runneth Over

Before I go forward, I want to say thank you to all of you who've been here to support me and MM. The last couple of months have been kind of crazy, and knowing you all were here really helped. Thank you so much for the comments, emails and cards I received. It really meant the world to me.

Vegas, Baby

October was an interesting month. Looking back, it's hard to believe so much happened such a short time ago. Already it feels like a lifetime ago, not a few short weeks. The weekend of the 24th MM and I went to Vegas for a wedding. We debated about going, but in the end decided we probably needed to get out of town. A change of scenery can work wonders, you know. In the end I'm glad we went, but MM drank a little too much at the reception and we ended up having an..interesting evening. Let's just say I'm not sure we'll be welcome back at Harrah's any time soon.

Halloween

For the last several years we've hosted a Halloween party. When MM was growing up his mom (or maybe grandma, I'm not positive) did "chili night" on Halloween. Basically they had chili going on the stove and throughout the night people would stop in to eat between bouts of trick-or-treating. So we've taken over doing this (his mom and grand parents live several hours away from us). The neighborhood we live in is great for trick-or-treating. One of the main churches in town is right next door to our housing development, so many people come here to trick-or-treat after visiting "harvest night" at the church. Cars line up for blocks.

The first year we did this we used our house as the base for trick-or-treating. I made chili and we invited several of our friends/family members over to join us. We ate, then walked with the kids around the neighborhood. Last year it turned more "party-like". We invited more friends, and though we still used our house as a base and did chili, we also decorated more and put together some games (that we never actually played, now that I think about it). This year we went even farther with the decorations and I made chili and chicken tortilla soup.

The neighborhood kids were really impressed with the house. MM really gets into it and goes all out. We even replaced our interior lights with black and red bulbs, so the inside looked just as creepy as the outside. Some kids were afraid to come to the door. Heh.

It looks like this has become a yearly tradition. I don't know how much fun other people have when they come, but we enjoy hosting it and we'll probably keep doing it as long as we have friends with kids who want to trick-or-treat (or have kids ourselves who want to).

Physical Recovery

Last week I had my post-op checkup. Maybe someday when I'm bored - or in the mood - I'll tell you all about my experiences with my crappy OBGYN. For now I'll just say I'm glad last Monday was the last time I have to see them. Normally after childbirth you have to wait 6 weeks for your checkup, but in my case - I guess because I wasn't very far along - I only had to wait 2-3 weeks. I saw the doctor and everything is fine, so I'm cleared for normal activity.

To be honest I was completely relieved. Now that I don't feel sick anymore, I've been anxious to get my life back in order. I haven't really cleaned my house in about 5 months. The kids and MM tried to help, but well...it's the kids and MM. I'm sure you can imagine the size of the dust bunnies threatening to take over our house. I've been wanting to dive in and get things organized, but I was restricted from doing a lot of things - like lifting heavy stuff and vacuuming.

I was also ready to get back into a regular exercise routine. Doing nothing but throwing up for 5 months really took a lot out of me. I'm anxious to get back into shape. I picked up the Wii Fit Plus the other day, and I started it yesterday morning. I'm the type of person who gets bored easily. Several months before I got pregnant I got bored with the Wii Fit. I'd already mastered all the balance games, and doing the same old exercises time and again just wasn't fun.

The thought of getting back into the Wii Fit didn't hold much appeal, but I figured with the Fit Plus I might be more inclined. So far it seems to be working. Some of the new Training Plus exercises they came up with are awesome (I say some because I've only tired a few up to this point). I can't wait to get back into a solid workout routine. Not only do I want to get rid of the excess weight, but I'd like to get my strength back, too.

I'm also thinking about getting back on the treadmill. I don't want to overwhelm myself right off the bat, but I think I'll probably add in some treadmill time starting next week. I figure I'll start off slow and work my way up.

Emotional Recovery

I'm doing surprisingly well emotionally. As I mentioned above, losing Baby Peanut seems like something that happened a long time ago. There are odd moments when it'll hit me hard, but mostly I'm just ready to move forward. I think MM and I were able to make peace with things in the hospital for the most part. Since our doctor was so good to us and we knew ahead of time what was going to happen, the blow wasn't as sharp as it could have been.

Sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with me because I'm not completely grief stricken. I'm still sorry, very sorry, that things didn't work out. But mostly I'm just...well, ok, really.

I forget that this isn't old news for some. Just today I saw a friend had left a note on my mom's Facebook page asking when I was due. I didn't really know what to say. I'm comfortable talking about it, but I don't always know how other people will react.

Surprisingly, the one who's taken it the hardest is The Girl. MM and I were talking about Baby Peanut at the dinner table the other night and she got very upset. She finally asked us to please stop talking about it. Although I knew she and Little Man were sad, I didn't realize it had touched her so deeply.

I do want to take a minute to wallow in self-pity though. I just want to say it sucks big fat hairy donkey balls that I had to go through what I did but didn't get the payoff for it. 5 months of non-stop puking, excess weight gain and swelling, labor and delivery and for what? I told MM, normally you know you're doing it because the payoff will be huge. It sucks wind that there was no payoff for me.

/pity party

The Future

People keep asking if MM and I plan to try again. At some point I think we probably will, but neither of us is in a giant hurry. MM keeps saying maybe sometime next year, but we'll just have to play it by ear and see what happens. I'm certainly not in any hurry to start throwing up again any time soon, that's for sure.

In the meantime, I'll try to start blogging again on a more regular basis, but I'm not making any promises. Sometimes I just don't have anything to say. Other times I have plenty to say but no gumption to actually type it out.

If you're interested, you can find me on Facebook, or Twitter, or at Book Binge. I tend to spend the better part of my days hanging out in those places (stupid time-sucks!).

Thank You

2009-11-11T00:00:00.000-08:00

As this is something near and dear to my heart, I want to take a moment to say thank you to all who serve. Without you it means nothing.

In case you can't read it, the caption says: Courage - Bravery doesn't mean you aren't scared. It means you go anyway.

Thank you to all who went anyway.

Untitled

2009-10-16T16:10:00.000-07:00

This is a hard post for me to write. Despite what you might think by reading my blog, I tend to be a very private person. There are things I just don't feel comfortable putting out there for all the world to see, or sharing with people outside my family. But sometimes when you share the good, you have to share the bad as well.

At 12 weeks MM and I opted to have the state testing done for down syndrome. It's a blood test along with an ultrasound. The testing is completely optional, but I had it with both the other kids, so we decided to go forward with it this time, too.

We received the results about a week later and they indicated we were at a high risk for down syndrome; our chances were about 1 in 17. The ultrasound also showed Baby Peanut had a cystic hygroma, which is basically an excess amount of fluid at the back of her neck. All babies have this, but the normal range was 3mm or less, and she had 6.5.

The doctor said he thought the risk was high enough to recommend an amniocentesis, which is basically where they take amniotic fluid through your stomach and test it. He also indicated we were at higher risk for miscarriage.

On September 22 we had the amnio done and about 10 days later we received the results. Baby Peanut had down syndrome. Our doctor had prepared us and we weren't too surprised by that. Although down syndrome is hard, MM and I weren't bothered about having a child with it. We just wanted her to be born healthy and we didn't care about the rest.

Unfortunately, during that appointment, the doctor did another ultrasound and gave us more bad news. The fluid she had at the back of her neck also spread to her chest and abdominal cavities, her heart was asymmetrical in shape and she had water on the brain. At that time he told us it wouldn't be a case of "if" we miscarried, but "when".

A week later, this past Tuesday, we had a follow up appointment and Baby Peanut's heart had stopped beating. Because I was as far along as I was, just a few days shy of being 20 weeks (5 months), I had to go through labor and delivery. MM and I checked into the hospital Wednesday evening and they induced labor.

Baby Peanut was born at 8:58 a.m. on Thursday, October 15, 2009.

Because our doctor was so candid with us, we were able to prepare somewhat, though I don't think you can ever be fully prepared for something like this. We're very sad, of course, but we're glad she's in a better place and won't have to suffer, even for a minute. It's hard, but we believe there's a greater purpose in life and though we can't see how, Peanut was taken for a reason.

We came home from the hospital this morning. I think we're both glad to be home with the kids. We were as open and honest with them as we can be, and they're handling it pretty well. Especially now that we're home and they know I'm ok.

As of right now we both have up and down moments. I expect my online presence will be off and on for the next little while.

We want to thank everyone for their love and support during this difficult time.

ETA: My timeline was off, so I fixed it. This is mostly for myself, please disregard.

Love at 20 vs Love at 30

2009-10-14T13:00:00.000-07:00

I remember visiting an author message board years and years ago (just after the RB and I separated, I think) and seeing a thread about love at 20 vs love at 30. The women were talking about their experiences and the differences in how they felt between now and then. Some women had been with the same man all along, but their feelings had matured and grown. Others had had different relationships along the way and felt there was a world of differences between those 10 years.

Their thoughts and comments struck me at the time because I was sort of in limbo then. I had just ended a relationship and had no plans to start another - but the way they talked about love at 20 reminded me so much of myself with the RB it was scary. So it struck a chord and stayed with me, even after all these years.

For some reason I've been thinking about that thread lately. Maybe because I've been feeling kind of homesick and it's bringing up memories from the past.

MM likes to make fun of me for being married to the RB. He just can't believe that I was married to a man who treated me so badly. To be honest, I really can't either. I guess I've always considered myself to be a strong person, but sometimes even strong people get scared. And that's what I was. Terrified, actually.

Sadly, that's pretty much the only reason I stayed with him as long as I did. Not because I was scared of him, but because I was afraid of being alone. Afraid of not being able to make it on my own with a child. Afraid no other man would have me because I had a child. About 6 months after The Girl was born a guy I'd gone to high school with developed a little crush on me. He was several years older than me and I was honestly flattered by the attention. But scared, too. Because I had a kid and I was sure he had no idea. Why would he flirt with me if he did?

The RB and I were off and on quite a bit during that time, though I still thought myself in love with him. I wasn't really looking to start a relationship with anyone else, but the attention was nice. Eventually I mentioned The Girl to him, saying something like, "You know I have a kid, right?" and his reply shocked me. Right down to my toes. He said, "Of course. Everyone does. What does that have to do with anything?" Up until that point, I truly thought no man would want me knowing I had someone else's kid.

I can't really say that was a life changing moment for me. Knowing I was wanted by another man - even with a kid - didn't make me leave the RB or think better of myself. Not then, anyway. Later I would think back and realize I was silly to be so afraid, but at the time I was still so wrapped up in my fears and anxieties I couldn't see anything else.

I know I've said it before, but I was totally content to be alone when MM came along. I wasn't lonely for a man, or feeling like something was missing from my life. I had my children and amazing friends and the support of my family. Sure there were times I missed the physical contact that comes with being in a relationship (and no I don't just mean sex) but mostly I was happy as I was.

Here's the thing - I love MM. A lot. But I could live without him if I had to. Do I want to? No. But I could. If our relationship ended tomorrow it would suck and I'd hurt, but I'd be able to move on with my life. I'd be able to go forward and not feel like my world had ended.

Obviously MM is a better man than the RB, but that isn't the reason. It's because I've grown and matured and I've found confidence in myself. I know I can survive without MM, but I choose not to. Which means our relationship is healthier. My love for him is stronger and more open than it would have been had I not realized the strength in myself.

Not that I didn't appreciate all that angsty love back when, but I think I'll take the love I feel for MM today, thanks.

*Photo credit: Wildflowerafternoons

Quick Update

2009-10-05T14:00:00.000-07:00

I got a notice from my blog the other day that it was time to update. The thing is, I've been deliberately avoiding the blog because I don't want to become "that" girl. You know, the one who just whines and complains and says the same shit over and over again? Yeah, her.

I don't really have much of anything new to report. I'm still sick. Since the weather cooled down I don't throw up as often, but I still throw up. And I spend about 95% of my days in a nausea induced fog. Yes, it sucks to be me.

I'm hoping that with winter relief will come, but I'm not holding my breath. I was sick like this with both the other kids for the entire 9 months, so I imagine this time won't be any different. A girl can hope, though.

I don't really have much else to report. MM is fine. He's been doing a lot of training lately, so he hasn't been around much. Which is both a blessing and a curse. The kids are fine, too. They're both back into a normal routine now, so that's a bonus. I'm particularly proud of The Girl, because she's been getting herself up in the morning. That's huge for me, because mornings are the worst. Since she has to be up at 5:30, I'd really struggle if I had to get up with her every day. Instead I keep an eye on her from my bed. It's not the ideal situation, but it's better than the alternative.

We've been having our normal issues with them doing their homework. Little Man keeps fighting me about doing his reading log every day (he's required to read for 20 minutes a night), which breaks my bibliophile heart. He keeps starting books, reading a chapter or two, then setting it aside to start another. All those unread books make me want to cry!

The Girl has tried to pull her old tricks of not doing homework or classwork. Unfortunately for her (and fortunately for me) I now have online access to all her grades, and most of her teachers have email access in the classroom. Which means I stay pretty well informed. My not feeling well has worked to her advantage because I haven't been camped out at her school 5 days a week, but I'm still staying on top of everything via email and phone. That annoys her to no end.

We had an incident with her awhile back where she started sneaking out of the house early in the morning to get ready at a friend's house. Which means she was borrowing clothes and wearing makeup when she wasn't supposed to be. That all ended the day I showed up at the bus stop and made her come home and shower before school started. MM wanted me to go in a bathrobe w/ curlers in my hair, but I settled for pajamas and bedhead. Naturally she wasn't too thrilled to see me. She hasn't tried sneaking out since though, so I guess it did the trick.

Oh, on the good news front: we found out the sex of the baby....

It's a girl!!!

Poor MM was heartbroken, because he really wanted a boy, but he's adjusting. Little Man was in denial about it, but he's slowing beginning to accept. The Girl is, naturally, ecstatic. She wanted a girl right from the beginning. I knew it was a girl, so I wasn't surprised in the least. A mother knows these things (ok, not really, but I did have a feeling and I've been saying so right from the beginning).

I guess I don't have too much else to report. I'm still just plugging along. I'll be sure to let you know if that changes. ;0)

Pregnancy Woes

2009-07-31T11:00:00.000-07:00

First, before I commence with some serious whining, let's get the good stuff out of the way:

MM and I decided to start trying for a baby around the middle of May. I had my birth control taken out and, as near as we can tell, about a week later I got pregnant. I tried telling MM this would happen - hello, I'm Italian - but he didn't believe me. At first it was, "Oh, it'll take at least 6 months." Uh, no MM, it will not. Then it was, "Ok, well it'll take at least a couple of months." Sorry to disappoint, babe, but it won't. In the end I turned out to be right.

When I first starting showing symptoms of being pregnant MM didn't believe that's what it really was. I kept trying to convince him and then finally just said, "let's pee on a stick and find out".

I peed, he read the stick, we were pregnant.

That happened on a Friday. Because I knew it was really early in the game and because we hadn't had it officially confirmed (not that I needed it to be, I knew), we agreed to keep it between us until I could get in to see the doctor. I made an appointment for the following Monday and MM went off to work.

Where he proceeded to tell everyone. Naturally.

We waited until after my doctor's appointment that following Monday and then told our families. I decided to wait a bit longer before telling the rest of the world, however, because it was so early. Once I started throwing up I knew - from experience - that it was pretty safe to tell, though.

We had an ultrasound done a couple of weeks ago (I was about 6 weeks along). MM got to see the heartbeat on the screen, which was fun. Since it was pretty early, you couldn't really make out too much. They printed a picture for us, but really, if they hadn't put little astericks on it to say, "Your baby is between here and here" we'd never know what it was. After we got home I looked up a picture of what the fetus looks like and MM said it looks like a peanut. Ever since he's been calling it Baby Peanut. He's such a dork. Ok, and kind of cute with it.

Anyway, I'm about 8 weeks along. My due date is March 4, 2010. MM really, really wants a boy. I, however, am convinced it's a girl. We have an appointment on the 20th of August to find out for sure, though. I'll keep you posted.
Please feel free to skip the next part if you aren't up to listening to me whine, bitch, moan and complain. And now on with the whining:

I tried to warn MM, way back when, that me + pregnancy = not good times. Unfortunately he couldn't grasp the full meaning of that until the time actually came.

Let's take last night for example:

Around 3 yesterday afternoon I started developing a headache. For those of you who know me, you understand that a "mild" headache for me is pretty certain to lead into a "full blown migraine" if not immediately treated. The unfortunate part there is that I can't take anything to treat a migraine right now. Around 8 last night the migraine went pretty much full blown.

It's been about, oh, I don't know, ten years since I've had a migraine I couldn't take anything for. I ended up getting in the shower, because the hot spray often relaxes the muscles in my neck, while MM went to the store to get me some Tylenol (the only pain reliever I'm allowed to take). But the shower thing didn't work like it should, because now that I'm pregnant I can't take hot showers. They make my nausea worse. So I basically sat - and vomited - in a lukewarm shower for 30 minutes until MM came home.

Not my idea of a good time.

Once MM got home I took some Tylenol and was able to find a comfortable enough to position to fall asleep. Which was good until about 1:30 this morning. That's what time I woke up feeling nauseous. I tossed and turned for awhile and finally got up about 15 minutes later and threw up. And threw up. And threw up. I can't remember ever throwing up that much before. It was awful.

Eventually I crawled back into bed....only to toss and turn until about 3. At which time I started throwing up again. And again. And again. This went on for quite some time until eventually, around 5 this morning, I had nothing left to throw up and was able to fall asleep.

That was the first time since I've gotten pregnant that I was that sick - I was vomiting pretty violently - but that isn't the first time I've woken in the middle of the night to be sick. I'm nauseous pretty much 24/7. I'd say I probably throw up about half of everything I eat. It's been pretty rough.

Several weeks ago I got a prescription for Reglan - an anti-nausea medication - and that worked really well for me. I took it 3x a day and while I was still nauseous, it wasn't as severe and I wasn't vomiting as much. Then I went to see my OBGYN for the first time.

I saw the midwife and she told me she didn't feel comfortable giving a prescription for Reglan because, "haven't you seen the ads on t.v.? There's a big class action lawsuit going on right now for people who have taken that." huh. Ok then.

Look, I certainly don't want to take something that might harm me or my unborn child. But I'd like some better reasoning than "ads on t.v.". What happened to saying, "Recent medical studies have shown" or "based on recent discoveries" or something! But, "Haven't you seen the ads on t.v.?" Really?

In the meantime she gave me a prescription I've tried before several times without success. I tried to tell her that it doesn't work for me but she basically said that's all there is, take it or leave it. So I tried it - to no avail - and finally called back a week later to tell her, if anything, it makes me worse. She called in another prescription for me and suggested I try it. I guess its one they give to cancer patients who are going through chemo. So you'd think it would work. But last night's episode? Yeah, that was on the new medication.

It's entirely possible that I have a 24 hour flu bug, or that the violent retching had absolutely nothing to do with the new prescription, but I'm not entirely convinced. My OBGYN has been out of the office, so I haven't been able to talk to him about the meds and find out if the Reglan is really harmful. According to research I've done online it says its fine for pregnant women to take it. But just b/c it's written online doesn't mean it's true. So...I'd like to talk to a doctor about it. As you can imagine, I have zero faith in my midwife.

In the meantime, MM's new BFF is a nutritionist and he's been offering suggestions. This morning I'm trying some ginger tea along with some ginger root capsules. I tried some dried toast earlier this morning and couldn't keep it down, but about an hour ago I had some oatmeal and so far it seems to be sticking.

I can't seem to focus very long on one thing, so I'm not really reading or watching t.v.. I check my email on my Blackberry, but that's about it. No bloghopping, no blogging, no old movies. You'd think now would be the perfect time to cut down my to-be-read pile or re-watch Gone with the Wind for the 500th time, but nope. I mostly just mope in bed or on the couch.

I know, I know..whine, whine whine.

I'll stop for now. I'm sure you get the idea anyway.

Tomorrow we're supposed to go to San Diego to visit my baby brother. He'll be in town from Northern Cali to visit a friend and the whole family is driving down to see him. MM and I talked about spending the night w/ his grandparents and taking my 13yo cousin (he's visiting from Ill) to the harbor to tour the old navy ship there on Sunday, but I'm not sure if I'll be up to it. I guess we'll play it by ear.

What have all of you been up to?? Come on, distract me...

Happy Birthday MM

2009-07-22T07:50:00.000-07:00

We're still out camping. I woke up about 7 this morning, before MM or the 13yo woke up. Its so pretty out here that early.

I let the dogs run around while I just sat and soaked up the silence.

The 13yo just got up, but MM is still sleeping. I think I'll let him sleep in. You know, since its his birfday and all.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MM!!

Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry

Gone Camping

2009-07-20T14:22:00.000-07:00

I promise a long update when I get back.

See you in a few days.

Xoxoxo

Holland

Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry

Happy 30th Birthday to Me!

2009-07-17T08:17:00.001-07:00

Might be a bit blurry, but I bet you get the idea...

Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry

Hello Blog

2009-07-02T13:30:00.000-07:00

I got a text message from my friend Kay Baby the other day. It said something to the effect of:

"Ok Holland, it's that time again. If I can do you it you can do it. Go update your blog!"

I hadn't realized until that text how long it's been since I updated. Having that job really kicked my ass. Plus, I'm lazy.

So last week Tuesday I got a call from corporate at 3pm that as of 5pm I'd be finished with their company. Since this was only a temp job - and since work had been slowing down considerably - it wasn't totally unexpected. I didn't think they'd call at 3 and tell me I was done at 5, though. I figured I'd work until the end of the week and/or month.

This is both good and bad. As I'm sure you can imagine, the mortgage industry is a rather volatile place right now. When I first started working as a processor I really loved my job. It was fresh and intriguing, and, though it sounds trite, I felt like I was helping people. Being a homeowner really is the American Dream. But over the last few years the industry has changed. People who should be getting loans aren't, and those who probably shouldn't..well, it's just sad. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to spend a month working on a file, where the new loan would potentially save the client $400 a month, only to be told, "Sorry, we don't like it".

Needless to say, by the time I got the call from corporate, I was pretty much ready to go.

The bad news is that since I was employed through the temp agency, I may not qualify for unemployment. I was told I had to work a certain number of hours through the agency to qualify. I don't know if that's their rule or the state's. I was granted an extension on my previous UI claim, so I'm hoping I'll fall under the umbrella of that, instead of having to file a new claim.

The good news is that MM and I discussed it and we both agree taking a job I'm going to be miserable at - and make him miserable while I'm at it - isn't worth it. I'm really hoping my unemployment gets approved, but if it doesn't I think we may try to make my stay at home permanent. Things will be tight without my added income, but I really enjoyed staying home last time. It was great to be home for the kids and have time to volunteer at their school. MM loved that I was home (mostly I think b/c it got him out of doing housework) and has been complaining ever since I went back to work.

So while I'm checking job listings and polishing up my resume, I'm also reworking our budget to see how feasible it is for me to stay home. Right now the budget is kind of scary, but I think if we tighten down we'll be ok.

Also under the bad news label: The kids have gone to their dad's for the summer. I may have another rant about this later, but for now I'll just say I'm totally bummed that they're gone for the entire summer while I'm off work. Now would be the perfect time for us to hang out at the pool or go play outside or take an extended stay at the beach.

Still, I can't complain too much, since the RB generally only takes them for a week or two during the summer when he's supposed to have them all three months (or 2 I guess, but whatever). It's nice that he's finally spending extra time with them. They really need that time.

While I'm waiting to hear back from UI, I've been doing some cleaning around the house and trying to get caught up online. I really started neglecting my email and Google Reader when I started working, so I'm trying to get those cleaned up now. I also started attacking the kids' rooms. This is going to be a long-term project, I think. I hadn't realize how many too-small clothes and old, broken toys they still had. It's ridiculous.

I also started a new diet/exercise program yesterday. Just since February I've gained 11lbs, and that's not including the added weight I've put on since my wedding. Because I'm a petite person I don't carry extra weight well. I've been feeling less than pleased with my appearance, plus none of my clothes fit. I could deal with a little more sag or an extra pinch when I zip up, but honestly? It's much worse than that.

My birthday is right around the corner and Lord knows I'm not getting any younger. So I decided it's time to do something about it. Kay Baby and I decided to do a Weight Loss Challenge for the next 90 days. My problem is that I have issues with portion control and I love salty foods. I'm not much for sweets, but I could down an entire bag of Cheetos in one sitting.

My plan is to get back into a regular exercise routine (I've fallen off the wagon) and try to eat lighter/healthier for the summer. My weight loss goal is about 15lbs over 3 months, which is pretty reasonable, I think. 15lbs isn't really all I need to lose, but it would go a long way toward getting me where I used to be.

I registered on the Live Strong website and plan to utilize the My Plate tool. My brother told me about it. It's a great place where you can track what you eat. The best part about it is that if you put in your basic body type: height, weight and age and enter your weight loss goal, it will calculate what your total calorie intake for the day should be.

If I want to lose 2lbs a week, my intake should be around 1280 a day. That seems kind of not very much, so I'm going to try it to start with and see how it goes. If I just can't limit myself that much to start with, I'll readjust. As a bonus, they have a Blackberry App, so I can keep track of what I'm eating on my mobile. Woot!

Anyway, that's about all the news I've got for today. Now that I'm home and have more free time I should be able to update more often. But I'm not making any promises.

A Letter To Google

2009-05-28T13:45:00.000-07:00

Dear Google,

For several months now both my husband and myself have been addicted to the Fail Blog. I subscribe to it in my Google Reader and email him the funniest Fail pictures and/or videos. Then we laugh together over them when he checks his email (which is only about once or twice a week). See, good family fun. Not to mention cheap entertainment.

But today, for the 2nd time in about a month, you banned me from my Reader with the following error message:

We're sorry...

... but your query looks similar to automated requests from a computer virus or spyware application. To protect our users, we can't process your request right now.

We'll restore your access as quickly as possible, so try again soon. In the meantime, if you suspect that your computer or network has been infected, you might want to run a virus checker or spyware remover to make sure that your systems are free of viruses and other spurious software.

If you're continually receiving this error, you may be able to resolve the problem by deleting your Google cookie and revisiting Google. For browser-specific instructions, please consult your browser's online support center.

If your entire network is affected, more information is available in the Google Web Search Help Center.

We apologize for the inconvenience, and hope we'll see you again on Google.

Well you know what, Google, I'm sorry too. Sorry you think emailing my husband posts from my Reader is suspicious activity. Sorry you felt the need to ban me from my own account. I'm especially sorry that you've seen fit to do this several times.

I understand the need for security. I also understand your stance on spammers. But I.AM.NOT.ONE.

STOP BLOCKING ME FROM MY OWN ACCOUNT!

Summertime

2009-05-17T13:00:00.000-07:00

MM and I own a total of four vehicles. I drive a Toyota 4Runner, MM has a Jeep Wrangler, he has an Acura Integra he uses for commuting and he owns a motorcycle. Yes, this is probably somewhat overindulgent, but the Jeep and Acura are over ten years old (ok, more like over 15) and the motorcycle is something MM bought before we were together.

The reason I bring it up is because the Acura recently started having major problems and it turns out it needs a new engine. Since MM uses it to commute (he drives 50mi one way to work) it gets a lot of miles every month. We've been debating whether or not to buy a new car (a Toyota Yaris or Prius or something) for him to use to commute, or to just put a new engine in this one. A new engine will only cost us about $2000, but the car is hardly worth that.

We have a friend looking for an engine for us, so in the meantime MM has been driving the Jeep to work. But lately the Jeep's air conditioner hasn't been working all that well. I think it's just getting old and it can't keep up with the heat (it's been 100+ almost every day). Since MM has to be in the car a lot longer than I do, I told him we should just trade cars until we figure out what we're going to do about the Acura.

My commute is only about 20 minutes, but when it's 90-100 degrees outside that can seem like an awfully long time without an air conditioner. So I told him to take the top off the Jeep (it's a hard-top). I figured it'll keep me cool on my drive and since it doesn't get as hot here as it does where MM works, I'll be fine. And I have been. The commute is easy and once I bought a good hat to protect my hair and keep the sun out of my eyes all has been well.

So now that you know more about our personal driving situations than you ever wanted, I'll get to the point of the post...

Driving the Jeep without the top has really brought me back to my teen years. I grew up in the Black Hills of South Dakota (Sturgis, anyone?). Being surrounded by beautiful hills and amazing canyons was something I really took for granted until I moved to the desert. Although the desert has it's own type of beauty, it's stark. Not at all the same thing.

Lately I've really been getting homesick. Especially as the temps rise and summer starts rolling in. As a teenager I used to spend all my extra time at the lake. We had two lakes within a half-hour of my hometown. One is a small lake with a few houses scattered around it and a camping area surrounded by national forest. We used to spend days out there swimming and lazing on the beach in the sun. There's nothing so beautiful as a calm lake on a hot summer day.

The other lake is a huge one where we used to go boating/jet-skiiing. We did a lot of camping out there. There wasn't a lot of beach space, but we didn't care since we spent most of our time out on the lake in a boat, water-skiing and jet-skiing. We always went out there on the 4th of July to watch the fireworks, sometimes from the shore, sometimes from on the lake.

As you can imagine there are a shortage of lakes here in the desert. Although we have options, they're 2+ hours away. You'd think living that close to the ocean would cancel out the disappointment of not having a lake close by, but the truth is it's just too damn hard to get down there. With baseball and work and various other aspects of life always going on, it's impossible to spend a day at the beach when you're talking about 4+ hours of travel time.

When I left SD, I left without regrets. Since I've been in CA for my quality of life has become so much better. I met MM here and we're happily making our life here. But sometimes..well, sometimes I get homesick. Feeling the warm wind across my skin as I drive to work brings me back to the warm days at the lake with my friends and I miss it. I miss the smell of pine trees and the feel of cool water on my overheated body. I miss wading into the creek and the tire rope and..well, I just miss home. I don't have the desire to live there again, but I wouldn't mind spending summers there.

Isn't it funny how the smallest things can trigger the best memories sometimes?

So tell me, what are some of your favorite summertime memories?

Mother's Day

2009-05-10T22:20:00.000-07:00

First, Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there. I hope you all had an amazing day.

I had a good day. I got up around 8:30 and finished reading the book I started a couple days ago. Then I relaxed on the couch for the rest of the morning. MM and the kids all got me cards. TG made me one at school, plus all three bought me one. I asked for two things for Mother's Day and got them both.

First, I asked that MM give the dogs a bath - especially Bella. I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but his dogs pee on her. I guess as males they feel the need to mark their territory. She, naturally, is the territory they feel the need to mark. Daily. So, as I'm sure you can imagine, after a week or so she really starts to smell. Horribly bad. We've been trying to correct the behavior, but since we're both gone during the day - the time she mostly gets peed on - we haven't had much success yet.

Second, I asked for a squeegee. My sister said today, "You're like the only person I know who would ask for cleaning supplies as a gift and then actually be happy to receive them." She's so right, too. I know it's not the most romantic gift in the world, but it's what I really wanted. Since we live in the middle of the desert and our backyard is dirt, our windows are always nasty. Having the squeegee will really help me keep them clean. As an added bonus, Little Man cleaned all the windows for me today. Wasn't that sweet? (We'll totally pretend like I didn't ask him and he volunteered all on his own, ok?)

We spent the afternoon at my mom's house. She put together a nice little bbq spread. MM handled the grill and we mostly just relaxed. My grandma, aunt and sister were also there. It was great spending time with them. Well, ok. If I'm being totally honest I mostly hid with my book. I couldn't help it! It was a really good book.

I'm kind of sad that the weekend is over already. We ran errands yesterday so I didn't get as much housework done as I'd have liked. We'll be busy running all week, so who knows when all of it will get done. I seem to be falling farther and farther behind! I hate that feeling.

Little Man has a baseball game tomorrow at 5:30 and MM has a softball game at 9. Unfortunately they're in two different towns, MM's about 40 minutes away. I'm kind of bummed, but I think I'm going to have to skip MM's. It's his first one, and I'd love to go watch, but we wouldn't get home until close to midnight and I just can't keep the kids out that late. Hopefully I won't have to miss the next one.

The rest of the week we'll be busy with baseball stuff and work. Sometimes I wonder how I managed to be a single working mom! I'm totally exhausted after just a couple weeks back to work, and that's with MM to help pick up the slack. I guess things will settle down more after baseball season, but in the meantime I doubt I'll be around much.

I hope all of you have a great week!

A Note To My Husband

2009-05-09T12:15:00.000-07:00

Dear MM:

The fact that you can say, in all seriousness, that we should go on a country-wide road trip a month after I have your "bebe" is just one of the many reasons I'm still on Birth Control. I just have two words for you:

Sixteen Stitches

Just sayin'.

Your Loving Wife,

Holland

Work, Work, Work..

2009-04-20T21:40:00.000-07:00

As I'm sure you've figured out by now, I did indeed take the job. MM and I talked it over and decided that I would take it on a temporary basis. So I started a week ago last Friday. It's been hard getting back into a working routine. For almost seven months I had a totally different schedule. Having to rush to pick up the kids and get to baseball has been..interesting. It feels so strange now to think I did this for years - and without help.

MM has been on vacation this week so he's been taking care of dinner each night and picking up the slack with the kids. It's going to be even harder this week since he's going back to work tomorrow. I think once we get back into a routine we'll be ok, but in the meantime things are pretty hectic.

I also still have team mom and PTA duties, so juggling those is pretty hard, too. So far I haven't had to do anything with the PTA, but we have big events coming up that I'm supposed to take part in. I think for now I'm going to pull back from that. I feel bad for committing myself and then backing out, but it makes sense since I can't attend any of the meetings or events. I may still take on some of the online work, but it will depend on how things go at home. I don't want to stretch myself too thin.

As for the actual job, well..it's a job. I really didn't want to go back into this field. The mortgage industry is very volatile right now. Although I'm knowledgeable and feel like I can contribute something to this company, my heart really isn't in it. Because it's only supposed to last a few months I feel fine where I'm at. If it turns into a permanent position I don't know that I'll accept. In the meantime I'm just plugging away.

The first few days I did nothing but busy work since my computer hadn't arrived yet. Since last week Tuesday I've been kept really busy. I spent a couple days in training to brush up on some programs and now I'm getting down to the actual work. It feels good to be using my brain again, I'll admit. Not enough to make me want to do this permanently, though.

My online access is limited at work. Although I have free reign I've been encouraged to not spend a lot of personal time on the computer there. That means I'm really behind in my blog-hopping and email-returning. I miss all of you!

Anyway, that's all I've got for now. Hopefully as I get settled in I'll be around more. Or so I hope.

Life is Like a Box of Chocolates..

2009-04-09T13:45:00.000-07:00

Life is strange sometimes. Take, for example, the fact that I haven't had a job for 7 months and yet I can never find time to write blog posts. Funny things happen all the time (mostly because MM is..special /snicker) and I think, "I so need to blog that!" and then life happens and I don't get around to it.

Also funny? Just a couple weeks ago MM and I had a discussion about my lack of prospects in the job market and decided I should probably just resign myself to becoming a permanent stay at home mom. To be honest, I've become quite comfortable at home. I love that I'm able to keep better track of The Girl's progress at school and attend all of Little Man's baseball games/practices. I love that MM and I get one day alone a week together because he's off on Mondays and the kids are at school. I love that I have free time during the day to read, play with the dogs or watch t.v.

Of course there are drawbacks, too. The kids think I'm their personal slave (ehem, and so does MM) and live only to do their bidding. Not to mention..well, it's kind of boring - and lonely - being home all by myself all day. I can only spend so much time talking to the dogs before I'm considered "crazy" rather than "cute" or "eccentric". Ya know?

So why is all that funny? Because we'd decided that I should probably just give up the ghost and make this a permanent gig, so I signed up to be LM's team mom for baseball and volunteered myself to be a fully active member of the PTA (OMG, I'm so one of THOSE moms now, yikes!) and signed TG up for another session of cheerleading.

Then, totally out of the blue, I got a call asking if I'd be interested in a job in my old field. A former co-worker heard about a job opening and mentioned my name. I've been sending out 50 resumes a week for 6 straight months and haven't gotten one.single.call, but a week after I decide to make my stay at home permanent, a job all but falls in my lap. Nice.

MM and I decided I'd check out the job prospect and see what it was about, then we'd make a decision. So on Monday I went in for a job interview that wasn't really a job interview. Turns out the job is sourced through a temp agency. I went to their office expecting to do a formal interview and come away needing to make a decision about whether or not I wanted to take the job (depending on how the interview went, of course).

The problem? They thought I wanted the job and was only going into the office to fill out paperwork and begin the background investigation so I could begin employment. Basically we were coming at the same issue from two different places and..long story short, I have job. Starting tomorrow! Yes, tomorrow! On Friday!! OMGWTF?!?!?!

As I'm sure you can imagine, I'm completely unprepared for this. I wasn't interested in this job, didn't even know what it was, in fact, until this morning when I was officially offered the position. Basically I am now employed through the temp agency and my first job through them is as a loan processor. The position should last between 2 and 4 months and the pay is pretty good.

But..yikes. It all happened so fast!

On the one hand I'm glad it's a temp position, because that means if it's awful I only have to stick it out for a short time. On the other, I'll find myself back in this same position a few months from now. Unemployed and unsure of what to do with my future. Of course this could give us the boost we need to make my staying home permanent. Not only that, but I'll be giving up a lot in regards to the kids. I love that I'm able to take them to practices and visit with TG's teacher whenever I need to, plus we have more quality time together. I'm going to lose all that by going back to work.

Obviously I'm torn. MM would prefer that I stay home, but he'll be supportive if I decide to take the job (er..didn't I already kind of agree to take it?). So that's good. But..I just don't know what to do. My Catholic guilt (never mind that I haven't been Catholic for more than a decade) has already kicked in and I feel like I have to take the job now. Especially because it pays well.

*sigh*

Plus, taking the job also means giving up my online play time during the day. No more spending my days Twittering or taking random quizzes on Facebook. Now I'll have to be a productive member of society again. Sad, right?

I know, I know. Everyone should have such problems, right? Still, I have to consider these things.

So, now that you know what's currently up with me, tell me, what's currently up with you?

Google Reader recently decided I was showing suspicious, spam like activity and locked me out of my account, so I haven't read many of your more recent blog posts (sorry!), so even if you blogged about it I probably didn't see.

Tell me what's new with you....

Recipe: Tater Tot Casserole

2009-04-02T09:00:00.000-07:00

This is something that's super quick and easy to make. For me, it falls into the "comfort food" category. It's also something my children love, so it's really a family favorite.

Quick funny story: When I got married the first time (to the Rat Bastard) we eloped. We were planning a big wedding, but decided at the last minute to just go to our Pastor's office and get it done. We told his mom we were going to a pre-marriage counseling session and instead got married. When we got back to her house to pick up the kids we announced we were married. The RB said, "Have you met my wife, Holly?" and his mom said, "Well. If I'd known you were going to get married I would have made something fancier than Tater Tot Casserole!"

So yes, this is the meal I had on my wedding night (the first time I got married). The meal I had on my wedding night the second time I got married wasn't much better (MM talked me into going to In-N-Out), so I guess I just have a bad track record when it comes to that.

Anyway...

Tater Tot Casserole

My recipe is for a family of four. I make it in a glass 13x9 baking dish.

1 bag frozen tater tots
2 cans condensed cream of mushroom soup
2lbs ground beef
1 bag frozen green beans
1 small onion, chopped
1 tsp Italian seasoning
1 tsp Montreal steak seasoning
2 tsp Worcestershire sauce

Pre-heat oven to 450 degrees (f).

Brown ground beef with onion, steak seasoning, Worcestershire sauce and Italian seasoning in a large skillet. Drain. Stir in two cans condensed soup (DO NOT ADD WATER) until thoroughly mixed. Add green beans to mixture and poor into glass baking dish. Spread with spatula until even.

Cover mixture with a full layer of tater tots. Bake at 450 degrees for 18-20 minutes or until tater tots are golden brown and cooked all the way through. Serve immediately.

See, super easy. It only takes about 30 minutes from start to finish and like I said, the whole family loves it. Sometimes I sprinkle the tots with seasoned salt before I put it in the oven, but not always. That's totally up to you.

Hapy Birthday Little Man!!!

2009-04-01T09:05:00.000-07:00

Today is Little Man's 10th Birthday. It makes me so sad that my baby boy is now in the double digits.

I have a post up on our mom blog about when he was born. Go check it out...

My April Fool's Joke

I'm Trying Not To Be Bitter

2009-03-26T06:00:00.000-07:00

Last week the website was put up for Obama's new Making Home Affordable plan. For many people, this could mean a way to save their homes. Which is wonderful. Truly. I've been close to homeless before and it's a scary prospect. It's an awful feeling to have a $10 water bill that you can't pay because you have $2.91 in your checking account and it has to last two weeks until payday. It's frustrating and scary and makes you feel like a failure. I know, believe me.

I also know that a lot of people could benefit from this new plan. The way the programs are structured (from what I can tell - it's early in the game yet) people are going to get a help up, not a handout. Well..for the most part.

There are two types of programs available right now. One is a refinance program for responsible homeowners. This program will help people who have a high interest rate or adjustable rate mortgages refinance into a fixed rate loan with a fairly low interest rate (last I checked mortgage rates were in the 5.5% range - though they may be less now).

For those of you who purchased your homes with a high interest rate or on an interest only product and can still afford your payments might benefit from this program. The purpose behind it is to get people out of "bad" loans and into a solid fixed rate loan with a low interest rate.

Right now many people can't refinance out of "bad" loans because they no longer have any equity in their homes. If the value of your house is currently less than what you owe on it a bank isn't going to lend on it. This program offers a chance for people in that situation a shot at a "good" loan.

The other program is called a loan modification. This is for people who have had a significant increase in their monthly mortgage payment due to an interest rate increase or a serious reduction in their income due to extenuating circumstances (loss of job, major illness, divorce, etc). For those who have fallen behind on payments or are struggling to keep them current, this program could save you from foreclosure.

Basically you'll need to prove your hardship at which time your lender will "modify" your loan. Generally this will mean lowering your interest rate so your payment goes down. According to the website, lenders have been authorized to adjust rates to as low as 2%. This isn't a permanent rate, it's only fixed for 5 years at which time you'll be reassessed or your interest rate will increase a percent a year until it reaches the agreed upon cap (when you sign up for this program the terms and conditions will be explained in full).

If lowering your interest rate still doesn't allow you to afford your mortgage payment, lenders have several other options available to them. The first is what's called a "Principle Forbearance" which basically just means they'll knock off part of your balance and hold it against you for later. (Don't think this is a handout, either. You will be required to pay this money back at a later date, though it will probably be held back without interest, which will help)

Example: If you have a $200,000 loan at 7% interest your monthly payment is going to be approximately $1300 ( not including taxes and insurance). If you knock $20,000 off that your new balance is $180,000. At 7% interest your new payment would be just over $1100. That's a savings of $200 a month. Now, if they do that AND give a rate reduction (no idea if they actually will or not - the website doesn't say) you could end up with a MUCH lower mortgage payment.

$180,000 @ 2% interest = about $650 a month, less than half of your original payment.

Of course your original balance of $200,000 @ 2% interest = just over $700 a month, still a significant savings.

This is, obviously, going to be a godsend for many people.

So why am I trying not to be bitter? Well, it's because we're the "good" borrowers in this case. We've lived within our means (for the most part) and have made our mortgage payments on time every month. Although we've had to tighten our belts quite a bit since I got laid off, we're still able to pay all of our bills and even have extra left over each month (once we got creative with our budget and made major cutbacks, that is).

Side Note: Yes, I realize how lucky we are. As I mentioned above, I've been on the verge of homeless before, and it's not fun. Especially when you have 2 children. If MM and I weren't together - if we hadn't of moved in together and gotten married when we did - I very likely would be homeless with two children right now. And that scares the shit out of me. :End Side Note

We did everything right - except for buying our house at the top of the market, that is. As it stands right now, we owe almost $200,000 more on our house than it's worth (and isn't hindsight a complete and total bitch?). Which makes me sick to my stomach if I think about it. So now we're in a tough position - we're stuck. We can't sell our house and we can't rent it out, because we couldn't get enough to cover our mortgage payment.

Those people who were irresponsible, who bought more than they could afford - or refinanced a billion times and took equity from their homes to pay for extras like motorcycles, boats, and other luxuries - are now eligible for the "modification" program. They might reduce their monthly payments by as much as HALF. While we'll still be making our regular payments, living in our house that isn't worth shit.

But that isn't even what bothers me. I know a lot of people are struggling for honest reasons, not just because they were living outside their means and got caught with their pants down.

What bothers me, what I just can't stomach, is the 3rd option available to those who are in foreclosure or having trouble making their mortgage payments:

Principal Balance Reduction

Do you know what that means? It means if the lender so chooses, they can reduce the principle balance of the loan - for good. Which means that $200,000 loan might get reduced down to $150,000. Granted, that is entirely up to their lender - but it's possible. For them. But not for me.

So yeah, I'm trying real hard not to be bitter.

For more information about the Making Home Affordable program, visit the website here. You can find out if you're eligible for either program on the site and read up about both of them.

http://www.makinghomeaffordable.gov/index.html

Best Invention Ever?

2009-03-14T12:30:00.000-07:00

Every Lazy Bloggers dream has finally come true. Yes, my darlings, it's true. Someone not nearly as lazy as I has created the perfect blogging tool: The Lazy Bloggers Post Generator!

I mean, seriously, this is THE perfect tool for those of us too lazy to create blog posts on our own. Check this most awesome goodness out:

Holy Cow I just climbed out from under my rock and realised I have not updated this since they let me out!... You would not believe the amount of people that are totally stalking me. I hope they bring chocolate!.

I am flat out like a lizard drinking with sleeping my way to the top, a ticking crocodile, just generally being a delightful mistress to my local police, my day sprawls from my partner kicking me out of bed to I see my darling's 10000 text messages. I am secretly pregnant. deal with it.

I will try to remember I promised you won't blog until the next time booze prices go up and I have to get sober for a while. No, really! What do you mean you don't believe me?.

.........click here to experience this awesomeness for yourself.

Isn't that a thing of beauty?

A special thanks to Ann Aguirre via Twitter for sharing.

Ask MM

2009-03-10T08:00:00.000-07:00

Recently there has been this "Ask the Kids Meme" going around. Last night I did it with my kids and then shared the answers with MM. Then I thought, "Hey, why not ask MM and see what his answers are?", so that's what I did.

I changed the questions to make them appropriate for him.

1. What is something I always say to you?
You're wrong.

2. What makes me happy?
Free books

3. What makes me sad?
When we have to punish the kids

4. How do I make you laugh?
You do a lot of stuff that makes me laugh. Tell jokes, little phrases. Write down everything I say on your blog.

5. What was I like as a child?
Free spirited
(This is actually pretty accurate)

6. How old am I?
That's not a question that I'm willing to answer.
(smart man)

7. How tall am I?
MM - 5'4" or 5'3"

8. What is my favorite thing to do?
Curl up with a good book in peace and quiet

9. What do I do when you’re not around?
I'm not sure - Housework and read and blog.

10. If I become famous, what will it be for?
MM - Writing a book - except no, because you'll never write a fucking book.
(For the record, MM has been trying to talk me into writing a book since we met. His confidence in me is sweet, but I kind of don't think I'd be a good writer)

11. What am I really good at?
Writing

12. What am I not very good at?
Having confidence in yourself
(he says this because I won't write a book)

13. What do I do for my job?
Keep the house together

14. What is my favorite food?
Peanut Butter
(he cheated..I told him that like 2 second ago)

15. What makes you proud of me?
Lots of things. Ummm...
(at this point he got sucked into the t.v.)

16. If I were a cartoon character, who would I be?
Olive Oil
I said: Isn't she kind of an idiot?
He said: Because she put up with Popeye's shit and he's a bigger idiot.
(awww)

17.What do we do together?
We do a lot of things together.

18. How are we the same?
We agree on a lot of things.
(I said: That's kind of a cop-out answer.
He said: Yes. I don't know why I'm being asked these questions)

19. How are we different?
Boys have Penis', girls have vagina's.
(He's bored now. Can you tell?)

20. How do you know I love you?
Cause you haven't left with my shit yet.
(Oh yeah, he's beyond bored now)

21. Where is my favorite place to go?
Into a book
(good answer!)

Ok, he's a jerkyface, but he's my jerkyface. And he does know me well.

What Were You Expecting?

Welcome to the World, Princess Bowie

Weird Cravings

Pregnancy Update: Week 35

Overheard at Our House

Recipe: Baked Potato Soup

Nutritional Information

Pregnancy Update: Week 29

Adventures in Billing

10 Things Reasons I'm Thankful for MM

Princess Bowie

What's In a Name?

If Only....

It's a Girl!

Texting with TG

Nausea, Heartburn, Insomnia - Oh my!

Baby Blue Cake

*Cough Cough*

My Birthday Present to Little Man

Make Ahead Meals and Some Tips

A Post About Random Things

Happy Anniversary, MM!

Recipe: Cream Cheese and Bacon Stuffed Mushrooms

Manly Men

Steak and a Blowjob Day

Valentines Day

New Year, New Goal

Christmas...and stuff

Cake Balls

To Move or Not To Move

Cruisin'

Recipe: Chicken and Sweet Potato Stew

Weekly Menu and Carboholics Anonymous Plug

The M Word

Poor Little Man

Weekly Menu, 10/11/10

5 Years Later...I Still Remember

Carboholics Anonymous

Thank You, MM

Isn't That Why We Have Kids?

Cooking Tips: Rotisserie Chicken

MM the Hottie

"These words are my diary, Screaming out loud"

Apple Streusel Muffins

Summer Happenings

Weekly Menu and Other Stuff

Poor TG

We're So Jacked Up

Recipe: Stuffed Zucchini Baked in Tomato Sauce

Linguine Carbonara, Weekly Menu and Disneyland

Memorial Day

OAM(W)C

Emergency Pesto

Puppy Love(?)

Mama Said

Feeling Blue

2 Years and Counting

Bittersweet

More Proof That MM is a Jerkyface

More Shameless Self Promotion

Weight Loss Update

Giving Up Wine

What Happend To Lara Flynn Boyle?

Sometimes I Forget

Recipes: Chicken Breasts Stuffed with Artichokes, Lemon and Goat Cheese

Ingredients

Preparation

Nutritional Information

Judge accuses mother of lying, and now her baby is dead

Jazzercise

Remember that package...

It's That Time Again...

Merry Christmas Eve!

Pride and Prejudice

Curl Up with a Book and a Nook contest!

WTF, Post Office

Totally Random Question

What's Wrong With The Picture...

Catching Up

Stuff

Cough Cough