Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Isn't That Why We Have Kids?

MM and I have been having a battle of sorts over who turns the lights out in the living room before we go to bed. The rule has always been last one out of the room turns out the lights. It isn't that I mind turning the lights out, but MM makes a big deal of it by rushing in front of me when I'm headed to bed, so he doesn't have to do it.

As if that wasn't bad enough, he's started doing the same thing in our bedroom. We keep our ceiling fan on at night, so when we climb into bed we reach up and pull the cord to shut the light off. The light is directly over our bed, so we usually leave it on until after we climb in. A lot of times we'll read for a bit before we turn the overhead light out. It never fails, even if I put my book down first and and start to snuggle under the covers, MM will throw his book down and lay down first, telling me to shut the light off. 

Saturday night The Girl had a friend spend the night. MM and I stayed up until around 11 or so, then headed to bed so the girls could do their thing in the living room (Little Man was spending the night with a friend, so he wasn't home). We both took a shower, then read for awhile. I think we set our books aside about the same time, though I was definitely settled into bed before he was.

He starts telling me I need to shut the light off, and I start refusing. Then he starts poking me and pinching me, trying to get me to do it. I said, "For all the energy you've expended poking me, you could have turned the light on and off 5 times by now!". He just huffed and tried poking me again.

Eventually I got annoyed and pounced on him, pinching his nipples and poking him in the belly. He started screaming like a girl and, satisfied, I rolled back over and snuggled down into the covers again. Then he nudged me, "Come on, Pookie! Turn off the light." WTF? Really, MM? REALLY? After all that he couldn't turn the light off? Don't look at me like that. I couldn't turn off the light at that point! It was the principle of the thing!


We lay there awhile. Me quiet, MM calling me a spider monkey for jumping on him like a banshee. Then he started in again. "Come on, turn off the light. You know you want to." I'm telling you, I just couldn't do it. The light was in my eyes and annoying as hell, MM needed to do it.

Then MM gets an idea. I know, because he said, "I have an idea."

He picked up his cell phone and called TG, who was in the living room. He said, "I need you in here right now!" and she said, "Uh..ok?" like, Oh shit, WTF did I do wrong?? I kind of laughed, but don't tell her I said so.

TG tentatively knocked on the door and MM told her to open it. He said, "What were you cooking in there?" since we'd heard some weird noises coming from the kitchen, which shares a wall with our bedroom. TG said, "Nothing! We're just watching stuff on YouTube! I swear." MM said, "Are you sure? We heard noises." TG assured him she hadn't been in the kitchen.

He said, "Ok, well, turn off the light." Then he snickered, because even he couldn't keep a straight face. She said, "Are you serious? You called me in here for that? OMG!" But she turned off the light.

As she was pulling our door closed I heard her say, "OMG, They called me in there to...." to her friend.

Isn't this the reason we had kids? I always kind of thought it was....


Lori said...

Hell yeah. If we can't torture them and treat them like slaves needing to bow to our every whim, beck & call, why bother?

And we actually have the same bedtime light rule. Last one in bed turns out the overhead light. And yup, if I forget, Bob makes me get out of bed to turn it off.

Kati said...

OK, I don't have kids, but I grew up in a family where I was routinely told to "go help your mother".

My B-I-L's favorite line is "Go get your dad a drink". To any one of his children.

I'm always amazed though, I have 8 nieces and nephews, all in their teens or early 20s. If an adult walks into a room and the kids are all sitting in chairs, we won't move them, we'll just sit on the floor. Scott though? If he walks into a room and one of his kids is in a spot he wants, he's all "Move." That's it. No, "Do you mind if I sit there?" or, "could you please scoot over?" Nope. "Move."

scooper said...

I love it. My kids are too young for phones, but I'm a yeller. I holler their names, make up a generic reason for wanting them and then ask them to do something. It's the joy of parenthood.

Dr J said...

What an absolute hoot!! I read the blog to my hubby who absolutely too MM's side of things and we were hysterical by the time we finished reading. Unfortunately for us, we would have to have one of our kids drive 12 miles to get to the light switch. So a stalemate doesn't work for us. What fun!! Thanks for sharing this with us.

Dev said...

See, and I got mad at MM reading least until I got the part about TG. Now that's funny.

Holly said...

I love that you got mad at MM, Dev.

Isn't he a brat?

Dev said...

Yes, and you can tell him I said so! :-)

Holly said...

@Lori - I honestly don't mind turning out the light, but he makes such a big deal out of sneaking off first that I want to beat him.

Which isn't nearly as much fun as it sounds, in case you were wondering.

@Kati - Scott sounds just like MM. He'll do the same thing.

@Scooper - I yell, too. Normally MM does, but I think he was trying to scare her.

To clear things up, however, TG does not have a cell phone. He called the house phone from his cell.

@Dr J - I say you call Tracy the next time you need the light turned off. I'd love to hear her reaction.

@Dev - I plan to tell him. It's good for him to hear I'm not the only one who thinks he's a brat.

Amy said...

My mom still pulls this crap, and I'm 38 years old and live 4 states away. If I'm visiting her at her place, I usually wind up waiting on her.


nath said...

LOL, you guys are hilarious :)

Rule in my house? The last one going to sleep is the one who has to check that all lights and TVs are shut down :P And my sister usually wins the honor :P

CindyS said...

Bob's favorite expression when we first got married was 'would you do me a favor?' to which I was always like 'yeah, of course' only it was stupid stuff like, get me a drink, turn off the light, do this or that. Now, his ex-wife is now one of my friends and I have heard her use the exact same wording and it drives me nuts.

As a kid, in my family if you are up getting a drink you always asked if anyone else wants something while you are up. There were no cheaters and it worked. So imagine my surprise when my new hubby thinks nothing of getting himself a drink and walking in like it's all good.

I've broke him of the 'can you do me a favour' routine because that was just a pain. I told him that line is for big stuff, not 'can you get me a drink and make sure you put lots of ice in it'. Yeah, bite me.

Then he started with 'but you're closer to the fridge' Now, he will ask stupid things like 'do you want a coke? Great, while you are up get me one too.' So now I'll say 'no I'm good' and then a few minutes later he'll say 'so we're not getting a coke?'

The games they play!


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