Top 5 Most Recent Blog Searches

Today's top 5 Google Searches that led to my blog are:

1. Voodoo Dolls & Honey
2. Stripper

• Marry a
• Married a
• Would you marry a
• Should I marry a
• Pros and Cons to dating a

3. CFM boots
4. Expecting bad sex second date
5. Naked Cowboys

My blog is so cool like that.

Stolen Quiz

I stole this from Dev, who stole it from Lori. I think I'm jealous of their hidden talents....

Your hidden talent is writing Your hidden talent is writing. You have a unique way of viewing the world and are able to express your thoughts eloquently on the page. Some people might think that you are weird, but you are just the next Pulitzer prize winner. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Girls Night

Rowena and Daphne drove up to spend the night with me on Saturday. It was the perfect girls night. We drank too many margaritas, took a four hour nap, read some, watched a movie, relaxed and gossiped. It was wonderful. Just what I needed. I woke up this morning feeling refreshed and more relaxed than I have in a long time.

My sister and her boyfriend came over last night for a BBQ. We had lemon pepper salmon and asparagus that MM grilled. It was great. We also watched two movies. Overall not a bad weekend.

Sometimes girl time/family time makes all the difference in the world.

Oh, well, that and a break from the kids. My mom picked them up Friday and kept them until Sunday. Niiice.

What did ya'll do this weekend?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LADIES!

Today two wonderful women from the romance community are celebrating birthdays.

First, Daphne. I met Daph on an author message board 2 years ago and I can honestly say she's one of the best people I have ever met. I'm so blessed to have her in my life.

Katie(babs), Kristie(j)'s blogging partner, is also celebrating a birthday today. I've only known KB for a few months, but I can already tell she's an amazing person and I hope to get to know her better in the future. She's kind, generous and really dirty..three things I adore in a friend. :P

To both of you:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

I wish you a wonderful day full of hot eye candy, relaxing schedules and lots of love.

XOXOXO

Holly

**also posted at Book Binge**

Then Again...

....Maybe not
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A Little Better

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Redeux: For CindyS

CindyS reminded me of this post when she left this comment on my post about male enhancement meds.

TO: MR. JAMES THATCHER,

BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for
over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their
features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core(tm) or
Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go
horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly
steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight,
white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your
revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only
company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that
maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe
and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little
F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher?
Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you
haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting
right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal
forces violently surging through my body. Just a few
minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be
transformed into what my husband likes to call "an
inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human
body amazing?

As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division,
you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what
exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits
from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the
bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about
our intense mood swings, crying jags, and
out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a
tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my
friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her
boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just
because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was
written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that
America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in
Capri-pants. Which brings me to the reason for my
letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful
I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my
uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there,
printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:
"Have a Happy Period." Are you fucking kidding me?
What I mean is, does any part of your tiny
middle-manager brain really think happiness-actual
smiling, laughing happiness-is possible during a
menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound
the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI,
unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there
will never be anything "happy" about a day in which
you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kailua and
lock yourself in your house just so you don't march
down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting
rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze
of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out,
man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a
maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something
that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer"
or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just
picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that,
effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in
monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad
business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss
your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your
brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise
I will keep, Always.

Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX

Reduex: Need a Pick-Me-Up?

I was trolling through my archives today looking for a letter I posted from some woman who didn't enjoy the "Have a Happy Period" crap from Always (CindyS reminded me about it) when I found this. I listened to it, snickered and felt the need to share..again.

IIRC, MM was the one who originally found this video and shared it with me. What does that say about him, I wonder?

Not work or kid friendly, people. Put your earphones in!

Seriously? I don't think so...

The other night MM and I were watching t.v. together when a commercial came on for one of those "Male enhancement" pills. In it, the guy says, "My wife got these for me, and I couldn't be happier!" MM and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes.

MM: I'm thinking not so much.
Me: What? You wouldn't be all happy and excited to go on t.v. to tell your story if I bought those for you?
MM: Sure, I'd be excited to tell the world I divorced your stupid ass.
Me: Yeah, I'm thinking that's one of those things you really can't ever come back from, you know? "Look Baby, I got you something to make your PENIS bigger! YAY!"
MM: I don't think that would go over so well.
Me: Sure it would. The people on the t.v. said so.
MM: Stupid.


Heh. Ladies, what do you think? Think your hubby would appreciate it if you brought him home some pills to make "little hubby" a little bigger? I'm thinking probably no...

I Really Want One of These

Come on, admit it. That's adorable! You can't tell me you wouldn't want one, too!

MM and I had a pretty lazy weekend. My mom picked the kids up on Friday and they spent the weekend with her, so it was just me and MM alone all weekend. It's funny, but since we got married I don't think we spend as much quality time together as we used to. So having a weekend alone together was nice.

We'd planned to have dinner out Friday night, but we forgot his niece was graduating from pre-school and we had to go to that. Personally I don't really understand the point of pre-school graduation, but whatever. She did look really cute in her mini cap and gown.

We ended up inviting his sister and BIL to dinner with us afterward. Both of us were kind of looking forward to having a night alone together, but his BIL kind of hinted he wanted to come to dinner with us, and neither MM or I had the heart to tell him no. We ate a this great BBQ place in town. I had an adult beverage. That made me happy. After dinner BIL says, "Hey, want to go to your house and play the Wii?" and MM said, "No, not tonight dude. I'm tired. I'm just going to go home and go to bed." I was surprised b/c MM almost always invites his sister and BIL over, but later in the car he told me he just wanted to spend the evening with me. Awww. Cute.

We watched a movie when we got home and played with our new cable. Oh wait, I think I forgot to tell you...WE GOT DVR! What's up now, bitches?

I seriously can't tell you how excited I am to have the full digital cable package again. And I'm over the moon excited to have DVR, On Demand and HD! It's awesome! I'm thinking maybe I should do a post just about that...but naw. Here's the condensed version: MM was pissed b/c customer service sucked when he called to complain that they screwed up last time. Which is the whole reason he refused to upgrade to begin with. I've been whispering subliminal messages in his ear ever since (*whispers* MM, you can watch Cops any time. MM, you want DVR. MM, DVR, Cops, Happy") our appointment got canceled. But it wasn't until last week when a rep came to our door that MM softened a bit. He really just wanted the company to make it better by offering us something to compensate for our issues last time, you know? So this new rep talked a good game and MM said if I handled all the details we could upgrade! WOOOMOTHEREFFINGHOOO! I have DVR! Tee hee.

Anyway....

We slept in on Saturday then just relaxed. We screwed around w/ the cable some more and watched another movie. Around 5ish we decided to go get something to eat, and ended up at the grocery store wandering around while we decided what to eat. We decided on fettuccine Alfredo w/ grilled chicken and went home to cook it. We watched Cops (even though we were recording it with our brand spankin new DVR) while we were eating, then watched National Treasure 2. It was really good, but I got annoyed during some of it (just stupid stuff they did that didn't make a lot of sense). About halfway through it dawned on me that these are the new "Indiana Jones" movies. I said as much to MM and he agreed.

Yesterday we slept in again then I went and picked up the kids. MM was in teh shower when we got home, so I went in and wished him a Happy Father's Day. He kind of blushed and said thanks. It was cute. The kids each got him a card and brought him some Candy, so we relaxed for awhile and then headed back to my mom's. We dropped the kids off with her and picked up my dad, then met my sister at the Yard House for beers and snacks while we watched the Masters tournament on t.v. It was nice and relaxing.

We didn't really do anything special, but it was a good weekend. What did the rest of you get up to?

Oh, and I forgot to tell you...

MM's latest obsession? Alaska. Yes, he's decided we should move to Alaska. Boy is on crack, I think.

Happy Father's Day!!!

I want to wish my dad a very happy Father's Day. He's a wonderful man and I'm blessed to have him, of all people, for my dad.

I also want to wish MM a happy Father's Day. It's his first official one. Isn't that exciting? His dad sent him a card and in it he wrote, "You said I do and now you are! A dad, that is!" Ha! I love it.

Anyway, Happy Father's Day to all you men out there. I hope you all have a wonderful day.

And Yet Another WTF Moment

Remember the 2006 Duke Lacrosse Scandal? Quick Holly Re-Cap:

Stripper claims 3 men from the Duke Lacrosse team gang raped her. It catches national media attention, then that freaking moron Al Sharpton got involved, turning it into a "White boys rape Black Girl" shitstorm that he never apologized for. A year later, it came out that the stripper lied about the entire story and it never happened. By this time, the lives of those 3 boys - and many others - were ruined.

The entire situation pisses me off. Rape is a very serious thing. I cannot imagine what a horrific thing that is to endure. And for some drugged out stripper to accuse those boys, and then for that fucktard Al Sharpton to get involved..well, it was just a clusterfuck all the way around.

But the reason I bring it up now is because I just saw a news article that said HBO will be doing a show to "Unveil" the Truth About the Duke Lacrosse Scandal:

Premium cable channel HBO has acquired the film rights to the New York Times bestselling book, It's Not About the Truth: The Untold Story of the Duke Lacrosse Case and the Lives It Shattered, by former Sports Illustrated Associate Editor Don Yaeger and former Duke lacrosse coach Mike Pressler.

The book, based in part on a journal kept by Pressler during the weeks after the national scandal erupted, details the persecution of three Duke University lacrosse players after they were falsely accused of gang raping a stripper at a March 2006 team party. The players were cleared of all charges a year later, but the ramifications of the accusation nearly destroyed the lives of those involved.

I'm not sure what exactly the "truth" they're going to unveil is (I mean, we already know she lied, right?) but I don't think it's a bad thing to bring more awareness to our country about things like this. But what just dumbfounded me was what Don Yaeger had to say about the book and subsequent film:

What made this a great book -- and what will make this a great movie -- is that at the end of the day you realize that this could have happened to any one of us," said Yaeger. "As we interviewed all involved, 'there by the grace of God' kept going through my mind."

I'm sure he didn't intend for me to take that the way I did, but, seriously, "what made it a great book and will make it a great movie"? What, exactly, is great about what happened to those boys? I can even feel some - I'm not sure what, exactly - sympathy, I guess, for the woman who was so disturbed she felt the need to accuse these boys. And as I said, awareness is never a bad thing. But to say something so callous....I'm sorry, but all I can think is:

WTF??

Even if he didn't intend it that way.

via PR Newswire

Scary

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Ok, I'm Really Done...

...for now. I couldn't help it! Here's what happened:

When I was searching for new templates the other day, I saw this one on the same site I found the last one and loved it. I really wanted it, but couldn't find the code for it on that website. So I decided to go with the other one I had. But I didn't just love it, so I decided to keep searching and today, I found this one on another site. Imagine my surprise. :)

I love it. I love the colors, the sidebars, the banner.....I love it all.

What do you think? Like it? Hate it? Do you think it suits me better than the last one?

I swear I'm done this time.

Well, for now....

;0)

46 Odd Things

I stole this from Anne over Let's Gab. Leave me a link if you do it, will you?

46 ODD Things about you! If you opened this, FILL IT OUT! Learn 46
things about your friends, and let them learn 46 things about you!
Remember send it back to the person who sent it to you.

1. Do you like blue cheese? Yep, I sure do.

2 Have you ever smoked? Yes. I just quit in March. And those jerks who said the first week is the hardest lied. They lied like dogs. I STILL crave them every.single.hour of every.single.day.

3. Do you own a gun? *I* don't, but we have several in the house.

4. What flavor do you add to your drink at sonic? Cherry, usually.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? It depends on why I'm going, but not usually.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? They're great in the summer, but not something I want to eat every day. Brats on the other hand...

7. Favorite Christmas movie? I have a few. I'd probably say Miracle on 34th Street and A Christmas Story. Love Ralphie.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coffee with hazelnut creamer.

9. Can you do push ups? Er..

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? I'm not really a jewelry person. I guess I'll have to go with my wedding/engagement band, since it's really the only jewelry I own/wear.

11. Favorite hobby? Reading, naturally.

12. Do you have A.D.D.? I don't think so. OCD, maybe.

13. What's one trait you hate about yourself? Oh, I'm sure there are several.

14. Middle name? Starts with "L"

15. Name 3 thoughts at this emailing
1. Boredom sucks
2. I'm freaking tired
3. I need a new job

16. Name 3 things you bought yesterday: Huh..I didn't buy anything yesterday. I was GOING to buy a book, but I didn't.

17. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
1. Coffee with hazelnut creamer
2. Pepsi
3.Water

18. Current worry? Where should I begin? Probably my biggest concern at the moment is my job.

19. Current hate right now? The economy

20. Favorite place to be? At home with MM.

21. Where would you like to go? Mexico to the beach.

22. Name three people who will complete this?
Don't know. Maybe Izzy and Dev. Maybe not.

24. What shirt are you wearing? Yellow Old Navy shirt my sister bought me last year.

25. What year would you go back in time to? I can't choose. There are too many wonderful things that happened in the past to select just one.

26. Can you whistle? I can whistle regular, but not a big wolf whistle with my fingers.

27. Favorite color? Green.

28. Would you be a pirate? No, I'm the Booty (MM has a t-shirt that says, "Pirates Do it for the Booty" and my mom saw a shirt that said, "I'm the Booty" so that's our joke now)

29. Favorite girl's name? My daughter's.

31. Favorite boy's name? My son's.

33. Last thing that made you laugh? An email I got this morning from a co-worker.

34.Favorite Halloween costume? Tinkerbell

35. Worst injury you've ever had? Hmm. Not sure. I cut open my middle finger when I was a kid and had to get stitches. I guess that would be it.

36. Do you like where you live? Yes and no. I like the weather, hate the cost of living. And I'm getting tired of our house. Probably because there's no chance in hell that we'll be able to sell it anytime soon.

37. How many TVs do you have in your house? 3

38. Who is your loudest friend? Like, voice being the loudest? MM. Dude can TALK.

39. How many dogs do you have? Three. All black labs. Bella, Buddy and Chewy (AKA: Fat Boy)

40. Does someone have a crush on you? How the hell would I know? LOL I know I have a crush on other people, though....

41. What is your favorite book(s)? This is hard to answer. No freaking clue. Maybe The Count of Monte Cristo? Or Gone with the Wind. Or...

42. What is your favorite candy? I'm not really big on candy, but probably a PayDay candy bar. Yum.

43. Favorite sports team? Greenbay Packers. Yes, I know they suck. I don't care, they're still my favorite.

44. Your favorite meal? Don't have one. I have many. :P

45. What were you doing @12 AM last night? Watching t.v. and reading a book.

46. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? HOLY SHIT IT's ALREADY THIS LATE???

I Be Green

I stole this from Marg. Thanks Marg! =)

And you know, Green is my favorite color, so that works out. :P

GREEN

You are a very calm and contemplative person. Others are drawn to your peaceful, nurturing nature.

Find out your color at QuizMeme.com!

Overheard at Our House Last Night

We were watching the movie 300 (which is brilliant, by the way).

Messenger: What makes this woman think she can speak among men?
Queen Gorgo: Because only Spartan women give birth to real men.

MM: Dude, what a bitch! Babe, you didn't tell me you were in this movie...

I love my husband. No, really, I do.

Those Firemen...

Are pretty darn amazing. See, no more flames on the hill.

Longer post to come.


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It Spread

Down the hill, too. It's still slowly moving toward us, but it's moving faster toward town (and another subdivision) than it is toward us.


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Another Pic

No word on the evac yet. It feels like the wind has shifted and isn't blowing toward us anymore. That's good news, I think.


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The flames...

Have dropped over the hill now.


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More Pics

The helicopter is dumping now.


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It's Fire Season Again

This is the view from my front door right now. If it keeps heading our way, we'll be evacuated soon.

I'll send more pics and updates as it goes on.

Everyone else ok?


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It's Growing On Me

The more I look at the new template, the more I like it. I liked the layout from the beginning, but wasn't sure about the banner and sidebars. But I think I like them both.

I changed the sidebar background color to a nice blue instead of that black, and it really lightened things up. And yes, I realize it's hard to have a truly "light" blog when you have grave stones on your banner, but I like it.

Besides, if I'm being honest, probably it suits me...

So, what do you think? Love it? Hate it? Don't have an opinion one way or another?

Tired

MM has been working a lot of overtime lately, so he hasn't been coming home until all hours of the night. Usually when he works nights, I go to bed at my usual time (or maybe even a bit earlier) but the last week or so I've been staying up until he gets home. Which means I'm not getting to bed until around 2 or so in the morning. Which means I'm hella tired during the day. I really need to stop doing that.

In other news, I really need a new computer. My laptop is old and falling apart. As of right now I'm missing 3 keys and 4 others stick, so I constantly have issues typing, which result in a lot of typos. It drives me batshit crazy. I was IMing with Daphne last night and she mentioned something about how she misses the old Holly, the one who never had typos like that. So do I, Daph, so do I.

I don't feel like I can justify buying a new laptop right, though. My job is pretty precarious right now, and I don't want to spend the extra money if I don't have to. Well, that and we have 2 other computers in the house. MM's laptop and our desktop. So, it seems a little excessive to spend the money on a new laptop for me when I have other options.

Well, I sort of have other options. MM got pissed at me the other day for stealing his laptop, so he put a password on it to lock me out. The jerk. Still, it hardly seems necessary to spend the money for a new one, right? Course that doesn't stop me from looking for other ones.

We're going to be kind of low key this weekend (hey, maybe I'll catch up on my sleep). We're babysitting MM's neice tonight, then just catching up on housework and whatnot tomorrow. Maybe we'll go hiking again on Sunday. Wouldn't that be fun? Heh.

Excuse The Mess

I decided I wanted to try something different for my template. I was tired of all they gray (I need a less dreary color right now) and liked how this this one looked on the website. Now that I installed it though, I'm not so sure. *sigh*

Anyway, I think I'm going to change it out, but I don't know when I'll have time.

This is all Dev and Kat's fault, just so you know. They decided to switch their templates and made me want a new one, too. So go blame them.

13-Year-Old Sends Two Men To Jail

Have you seen this?

From AHN:

Amy Beeman - AHN

Orange County, FL (AHN) -- A 22-year-old man has been sentenced to a year in jail and five years probation after having sex with a 13-year-old girl who told him she was 18.

The girl did the same thing a year prior, when she was 12, and lied about her age to a 24-year-old man who was sentenced to five years in prison for having sexual relations with the minor.

Alisha Dean advertises herself on her Myspace page as 19 and divorced. The page has been marked private since the sentencing Tuesday, but one report said there is footage of Dean dancing and "shaking her womanly booty like she's working the pole."

WFTV News reported that Morris Williams had sex with Dean when he thought she was of legal age, but when her behavior tipped him off that she may have been younger than she said, he went to Dean's father who told Williams his daughter was only 13. Dean's father then called the police.

According to WFTV her family said she still stays out late. Another report stated that the Myspace page was only taken down the day after Morris was convicted.

So this little girl creates a Myspace page, saying she's 19 and divorced, meets a guy who's in his 20's and has sex with him. They get found out and her daddy sends the twenty-something to jail. A year later she meets another twenty-something on Myspace and has sex with him. Only he realizes she's not as old as she says she is and goes to her father to confess. Once again, daddy sends him to jail.

Then Daddy says, "Well, little girls don't have very good judgment. That's why these laws are in place. Oh, and yeah, she still stays out late and still has a Myspace page."

She did finally edit her Myspace page. Now it says she's 16 instead of 19. But uh..she's 13.

I think her father needs to be murdered. Or at least he needs a good horsewhipping. I tell you, if that was my child...well, I can't even finish the thought, because that WOULDN'T be my child. At all. Ever.


Why hasn't social services gone and taken her away from her family? I'd think it would be considered neglect, or child endangerment, or something, to allow her to continue to behave this way. And don't give me that shit about "We didn't allow it". Bullshit you didn't.

I really hate people sometimes, you know?

Overheard on the Hiking Trail

"Come on baby, it's all downhill from here."



"You've said that three times now."



"That's because I'm trying to motivate your fat ass!"



Funneh guy, my husband.



Although, in his defense, he did pull me 300+ feet (all uphill) out of the canyon.





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Nature

Fun!

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Seriously

Not moving....

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Almost There

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Ok Seriously

I'm so effing out of shape! MM talked me into hiking to an oasis today. The trail is about a mile and a half and 300+ feet to hike up.



I started breathing hard about 5 feet out of the car and nearly died before we made it.



Now I'm lying here on a rock, thinking there is no effing way in hell I'm hiking back out.



For real.

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