Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Say My Name, Say My Name

The kids started school Monday. The Girl was super nervous. She even cried. It about broke my heart. She's really outgoing once she's comfortable, but when she's in an unfamiliar situation/environment, she's very shy. Since they were starting a new school and a new grade, she was really scared. I finally got her settled in her class and left for work, but my heart hurt. It was so sad seeing her looking all lost and alone.

Little Man is a lot more outgoing than The Girl. He's shy, don't get me wrong, but he's able to work through it better than TG is. I walked him to his class first (it was on the way to TG's room) and we met his teacher, then he was told to go out and play until the bell rang. We'd just made it to TG's class when LM caught up with us. Apparently he was a little nervous because he didn't know anyone on the playground.

After a few minutes in TG's classroom with us, he decided to go back to the playground. As I was leaving I saw him on the jungle gym, kind of staring longingly at some of the other kids that were playing. I walked over and said goodbye to him and then walked out to my car with tears in my eyes. Sometimes being a mom sucks.

When I picked the kids up after work, they told me they'd both made some friends, so I was less worried about them. We checked their backpacks when we got home and there was a bunch of paper work I had to fill out. LM said, "Mom, you have homework today!" I could tell he was awed that his teacher had the balls to give me homework. He's so cute.

TG also had a bunch of paperwork for me to fill out. I can't remember if I mentioned this last year or not, but TG hates doing homework. No, I mean she hates it. She's extremely intelligent, but she's also extremely lazy. If she can avoid doing homework, she will, no matter what she has to do to get out of it. I found homework hidden under the couch, under her mattress, under the bathroom sink, in the garbage, in the trunk of my car (I have an SUV, so she can just throw it over the backseat), etc. She's lied about not having homework, she's lied about how much homework she has, she even went so far last year as to tell me she got it done in class and tell her teacher I refused to let her do it at home because it's against our religion. No, she seriously said that.

Finally, halfway through the year, we all caught on to what she was doing. By that time she was behind over 30 assignments. After many, many weeks of hardcore battle, we finally got her straightened out.

Or so I thought.

But then, Tuesday morning I go to put her paperwork in her backpack and what do I find? A note from her teacher with a list of weekly homework and two math pages she was supposed to complete.

WTF? Already?? It was only the first day of school and she was already hiding her homework?

She tells me, "No, mom, that's not due until tomorrow!" I told her, "TG, your teacher this year is smarter than your teacher last year was. Because he sent me a list of what homework you have to complete...for the entire week. Sit down and do this!"

She was pissed, but she did it. But then I found another math page in her backpack. This one was something she completed in class. It was a timed division test she had to do to see what level she was at. I was dumbstruck, just staring at the top of the page. Finally I turned to her and said, "TG, who's is this?" and she said, "It's mine, mom."


I said, "Well, if it's yours, why does it say 'Belle' at the top?" She looks dead in my eye and says, "Well, that's the name I go by at school." WHAT? EXCUSE ME? I said, "Your name is not Belle. Your name is The Girl. You will go by The Girl, not Belle." She said, "It's too late now, mom. I already put it on my name tag."

Cripes. She done changed her name.

I realize that we all went through a stage (or most of us, anyway) when we hated our names and wished we could change it, but dude, none of us actually did. Did we?

I just don't know what to do with this girl.



Sunday, August 26, 2007

Back To School Stuff Sucks!

I have to go do last minute back to school shopping for the kids today. Luckily the Rat Bastard did all their clothes shopping while they were visiting him this summer, but he forgot to get them shoes and school supplies.

Quick Side Note: The RB has been making major progress lately. He's more attentive, less confrontational and is making a real effort to be a daily part of the kids' lives. I'm very happy about this - if still a bit skeptical - because they crave his attention. I guess we'll see as time goes on if this is a continuing trend. Gah, will I have to change his name if this is a permanent turn-around?...Naw.:End Side Note

I hate shopping in general, but shopping for school supplies is the worse, IMO. The kids want this and that and this and that and that other thing. Ugh. And you know, since I waited until the day before school starts (NOT MY FAULT! I swear, I didn't get the list of what they needed until yesterday, so I couldn't do any shopping before then...and before you say, "you could have just gotten what you thought you'd need" I'll remind you that the kids didn't need ANY supplies at their old school. Just a $5.00 monthly donation and Kleenex, so there!) everything will be picked over. Stupid back to school shopping!

I still have to get Little Man's hair cut. My mom trimmed his Mohawk the other day so it wasn't as long, but now it's all uneven. Plus, he and I agreed he could keep it during the summer but would have to buzz it off come school time. Actually, he's pretty excited to get his head buzzed so, "I can look like MM!" He's so sweet.

I also have to get the rest of my cleaning done today. I've been really lazy since I moved in with MM. I should have used the time while the kids were away to really scrub my house from top to bottom, but I didn't. I just did light surface cleaning. So I spent 5 hours yesterday scrubbing the two bathrooms and all the baseboards in the house. This bachelor pad thing is seriously disgusting.

For all you men out there....clean your baseboards and behind your toilets. Seriously.

But despite the 5 hours I spent on my hands and knees yesterday, I still have a good 5 hours of cleaning left to do to make the house "clean". I hate that. I still need to get pictures hung and the rest of the house painted, too.

Another Side Note: Did I tell you I'm going to hire someone to paint the rest of the house and finish up all the detail work? My ceilings are splotched with paint, all the window sills are covered and even the carpets and baseboards have splatters on them. The other day MM's BIL's Mom (take your time, figure that out and the come back...we'll wait) came over and MM said, "Please excuse our house. A blind man painted it". That's what it looks like, seriously. :End Side Note

Why do I feel like I'm suddenly drowning in things to do? That's what I get for being lazy for 2 months, isn't it? Will I never learn?


Anyway, Poor MM got called into work yesterday morning at 9:30 and didn't get home until after midnight, so I'm letting him sleep in today. He told me he wanted to get up at 11, but when I tried to wake him up I walked away afraid for my life (the boy is GRUMPY when he doesn't get enough sleep) so I decided to be kind and let him laze in bed until noon. I figure if I let him sleep any later than that we won't get our errands done today and he won't be able to sleep tonight. Which would be really bad, because he has court in the morning and has to get up extra early.

Poor guy.

Hmm, did I ramble long enough? Not quite? Alright then...

Next weekend Casee is coming to visit me. WOOOHOOO! She moved to Idaho awhile back and since then we've hardly seen each other. Dude, I'm hella excited. We're having a girls night on Friday. I think the plan is to have dinner and drink too much, then go shopping at Borders. We've tried this before and felt we managed to keep our street cred, so why not go for broke and try it again? Speaking of going broke, I think that's what happened to me last time I went to Borders with her....I came out broke. Case, no pushing books on me, you hear? Oh, wait. That won't happen this time. Know why?

Cuz last time we got drunk and went to the bookstore Casee bet me 50 books I'd be married (Hmm, or was it engaged?) by the end of the year and...she lost. Girl owes me 40 some books. HAHAHAHA!

Ehem. Moving on...

On Saturday MM and I are taking the kids to Legoland. We've never been, but I've heard good things about it. I can't wait to see what the kids think.

Alright, this has gone on long enough. See what happens when I have too much coffee on Sunday mornings?

Hope the rest of you had a good weekend.

Much love,

P.S. I'm being a rebel and not proofreading. Excuse any typos, k? Thanks.

I swear I've been reading all of your blogs on a daily basis, I just haven't had time to comment (for the most part). Hopefully after this next week things will settle down some and I'll be back in my routine again.

Does it seem ridiculous to anyone else to spend $60 for a pair of shoes that aren't going to fit your kid in three months? Just curious....

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Thursday Thirteen - 13 Favorite Songs

13 All Time Favorite Songs (in no particular order)

1. Fool in the Rain by Led Zepplin

2. Walk the Line by Johnny Cash

3. Love Me Tender by Elvis Presley

4. Hotel California by The Eagles

5. Piece of My Heart by Janis Joplin

6. In the Hall of the Mountain King

7. Blister in the Sun by Violent Femmes

8. Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton

9. Try A Little Tenderness by Otis Redding (and bonus! You get a clip from one of my favorite movies, too)

10. Underneath Your Clothes by Shakira

11. Two Out of Three Ain't Bad by Meatloaf

12. Regulate by Warren G ft. Nate Dogg

13. Age of Loneliness by Enigma

I'm also going to give an honorable mention to Closer by Nine-Inch-Nails. Love that song. But I didn't want to post it here, because I hate the video. :)

What about you??

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

I've Been on A Haiku*

I know it's been terribly quiet here recently, but I've had a lot of personal things going on in my life and haven't really had much to say in my blog.

I mentioned previously that my mom had to have surgery. She went in for some testing and they found a cyst on her left kidney that turned out be cancerous. The most pressing concern was that it would spread. 1 week ago, the day after my children came home from visiting the RB, she had surgery in LA to have her kidney removed.

Until yesterday we were waiting for the lab results to come back to tell us what kind of cancer it was and how aggressive it was. Thankfully the results came back and the cancer was isolated. We're all very relieved, of course, but the last few weeks have been...hectic to say the least. She's recovering very well, however. They were able to remove the kidney through laprascopic surgery and she was released from the hospital less than 48 hours after the surgery. This still freaks me out some, since I didn't think that was near enough time for a vital organ, but she's doing great - if going a little stir crazy stuck at home.

I'm still very concerned and hurt for my dear friend Loren, who's husband passed away last week. I think that's all of our worst fear. To get that phone call or knock on the door. My heart hurts for her.

In other news...

MM and I are now talking about doing something different for our wedding. Our original plan, you may remember, was to get married in October of 2008 at a local country club. There are a couple of reasons I'm not comfortable with this, but the main one is that it's going to be very expensive. Since MM and I are paying for this wedding, I just can't justify spending $30,000 for ONE FREAKING DAY! It's so not in me to do that. I could put a hefty amount of money into the kids' college funds with that. Or take a month long honeymoon to the destination of my choice. Or buy a new car. Or buy a(nother) closet full of shoes.

I realize our wedding day is meant to be special, and I realize it's an important day, but it's just not in me to spend that much on something that will only last a few hours. (yes, yes, I know, it sounds weak even to me, but it's TRUE)

So, we've been tossing around other ideas instead. We're thinking a Laughlin wedding on the river would be nice. We could still invite the same number of guests, but by doing a Charter with a cocktail hour afterwards instead of a huge reception with a sit down dinner, we could save a lot.

We haven't made a final decision about that yet, but that's what we're leaning towards.

We're also talking about moving the date up some. Instead of doing October, we're talking about doing March. Ever since I bought my dress, MM has been nagging me to do it sooner. I'm telling you, the boy has no patience. Poor guy. Anyway, we haven't made a final decision on that, either, but I think we probably will end up going that route.

I guess that's about it for now. More later.

*For an explanation on the title of this post, see here.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Doin' The iPod Shuffle

Stole this from Mailyn..and no darling, I haven't forgotten that I still owe you the Sexy Meme. My problem is..I haven't found any men/women (with the exception of Angie) who'd I'd actually do. Some I'd stare at and drool, but not actually take to bed...capice? But I'm working on it, I promise. :P

* Open your iTunes or other music player and hit Shuffle...
* Answer each question with the song that plays...
* For each new question hit forward to get the next song...

l.) How am I feeling today?
All That I've Got by The Used

2.) Where will I get married?
I Walk Alone by Greenday

3.) What is my best friend's theme song?
Try A Little Tenderness by Otis Redding

4.) What was high school like?
Closer by Nine-Inch-Nails (LOL)

5.) What is the best thing about me?
Rockstar by Nickelback

6.) How's today gonna to be?
Stormy Monday by B.B. King

7.) What is in store for next weekend?
Shook Me All Night Long by ACDC

8.) What song describes my parents?
Crazy Bitch by Buckcherry (*snicker*)

9.) How is my life going?
I'll Be There For You by Bon Jovi

10.) What song will they play at my funeral?
How You Remind Me by Nickelback

11.) How does the world see me?
It's Been Awhile by Staind

12.) What do my friends really think of me?
Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake

13.) Do people secretly lust after me?
Principles of Lust by Enigma (Totally landed on this one, I swear!!)

14.) How can I make myself happy?
Dirty Deeds (Don't Dirt Cheap) by ACDC (LOLOL)

15.) What should I do with my life?
Break it Off by Sean Paul feat Rhianna

16.) Will I ever have children?
Born On The Bayou by Creedence Clearwater Revival (HAHAHAHA!)

17.) What's a good advice for me?
Savin' Me by Nickelback

18.) What do I think my current theme song is?
If You're Gone by Matchbox 20

19.) What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Rehab by Amy Winehouse (WTF?? LOL)

20.) What type of men do I like?
You Look Good In My Shirt by Keith Urban (OH.HELL.NO.!!)

21.) Will I get married?
Hips Don't Lie by Shakira feat Wyclef Jean

22.) What should I do with my love life?
Who Will Save Your Soul by Jewel

23.) What's sex like?
Fading Like A Flower by Roxette (Poor MM)

24.) Where will I live?
Life Is A Lemon (and I want my money back) by Meatloaf

25.) What will your dying words be?
Son of a Preacher Man by (Hmm, it says Etta James, but I know it's not...)

Friday, August 17, 2007


My sister finally uploaded the pics of our wedding dress shopping excursion. I emailed the link to everyone who asked to see, but I may have missed one or two. Let me know if you wanted to see but didn't get an email from me and I'll forward it along. :)

More later, I'm busy right now with work stuff.

Much love,

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Thursday Thirteen

13 Things I Would Do Just For Me if I Won the Lottery

1. Rent this castle in Scotland for a month and invite all of my friends to join me. Just to laze around and drink wine and read books.
2. Drive a Race Car
3. Spend a week in this Switzerland Spa.
4. Buy this house in Ireland and spend at least 3 months a year there.
5. Spend at least a year traveling the world.
6. Fly a Fighter Jet
7. Go on an African Safari
8. Buy a McLaren F1
9. Rent this Island for my honeymoon and spend at least two weeks alone there with MM.
10. Road Trip across the United States for an undisclosed amount of time, visiting all the states.
11. Build a dream home in Montana for MM to spend time at...with heated floors for me. :P
12. Play football with the Packers (they're my favorite..shut up)
13. Hire a live in Housekeeper so I never have to clean another toilet or wash another load of laundry.

What would you do??

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

PB &J, Snuggling and Alf

AKA: MM is such a girl sometimes.

Last night I started getting ready for bed around 10:00. I got a glass of water, brushed my teeth and headed in the bedroom to take a shower. Just as I was getting in the shower MM got home from work. He was on the phone with Alf, his BFF (*snicker*). He said hi, and then I got in the shower. He came back in the bedroom just as I was getting out of the shower and he was still on the phone.

I'd just like to point out here, before I go on, that MM and Alf are both guys.


Turns out MM called Alf just as he was leaving work and had been on the phone with him ever since. We're talking like...more than an hour and a half. Did I mention they're both guys? I thought there was something attached to the penis that didn't allow men to talk on the phone for more than 5 minutes at a time. I guess I missed a memo.

In the course of conversation, somehow my blog got brought up. MM gave Alf the link and now I have a new stalker...scary, isn't it? I told Alf he should guest blog. I mean, the two of them grew up together and I bet Alf has way better MM stories than I do. He's considering it.

I have to tell you, however, I was a little uncomfortable with MM staring at me naked while on the phone with his mistress. Alf assured me he's not the jealous type so I shouldn't worry, but sheesh. Talk about an awkward moment.

I was ready for bed long before MM even got home, so I crawled underneath the covers just as MM and Alf were hanging up. MM told me he was going to take a shower. "Don't go to sleep yet!" he said. I explained that I was tired and he was SOL, but he asked me to "please" not go to sleep yet because he "really wants to snuggle".


Yeah, that's what I said, too. "Baby, I'm too tired for sex" he said, "I want to snuggle, not have sex. Just wait till I get out of the shower."

Sure enough, he rushed through his shower, then crawled into bed next to me and said, "Roll over on your back so I can put my head on your chest. I like that". Total girl.

We snuggled for awhile then I made him move so I could roll over and get more comfortable. 2 minutes later I was sound asleep. :)

MM was making his lunch when I got up this morning to make coffee. He was making sandwiches and I asked him to make me one, too. He said, "Ok, even though I'm running really late, I'll still do it. But you're getting strawberry jelly". So I ate PB & J for lunch. He is so my bitch.


All joking aside, though, I've missed him. We haven't had a chance to just...snuggle and talk in quite awhile. I felt a lot better this morning when I got up. Less stressed and more relaxed. Ok, ok, maybe I'm his bitch, too. Then didn't see me making him a sandwich, now did you?

There Are No Words

Monday night my very dear friend Loren called me around 10:30 p.m. Her husband was killed in a car accident at work.

I have no idea what to say. I mean, what can you say?

Unfortunately for me, she lives in Missouri, which means I can't just run over to be with her, which is what I'd really like to do. I feel so inadequate during times like these, not because it's all about me, but because I want to make it better...and nothing can.

Loren, I love you. I so wish...well, you know what I wish. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Monday, August 13, 2007

What A Weekend

I drove to Vegas Thursday after work to get the kids. It's about a 3 hour drive from my house. I was supposed to leave work at 2, but because DW and my boss were both out, I was swamped and didn't actually leave until closer to 3. I think I finally headed out to Vegas around 4ish and arrived just before 7 p.m.

I went directly to the RB's hotel to get the kids and it was very bittersweet for them, but way exciting for me to pick them up. We went to our hotel (we stayed at Treasure Island) and checked in, then had dinner at the buffet. We watched Shrek the 3rd in the hotel room and went to bed fairly early (around 10:30ish) Thursday night. We were all pretty wiped out after traveling all day.

Friday morning we got up around 7:30ish, had breakfast at the hotel and checked out around 11. I was extremely unhappy with the Bell desk when we left. I called down at 10 to 11 to have them come get our bags and they didn't show up until 5 to 12. Then it took them 30 minute to get our bags down to valet. Who does that?

Anyway, by the time we grabbed lunch and actually got on the road it was close to 1:30. We were home by 3:30 and I dumped the kids on MM and left again for LA a 4:30.

About a month and a half ago, my mom found out she had some health issues and this past weekend she had to have surgery. As you can imagine, this has been a very trying time for our family. I know I've been neglecting both this blog as well as Book Binge, but things have been so crazy around here lately I just haven't had time to do anything.

My boss and my mom were both out last week, so my workload was tripled. Now my boss is back, which means considerably less work for me, but DW is still out, so my workload is still doubled. Such is life, but it doesn't leave much time for blogging and emailing.

In any case, by the end of the week I should have the pile on my desk dwindled down and the kids back in a routine, so I'll be back to (normal) by then.

DW is fine, btw, and at home resting and recovering. She won't be back to work for at least two weeks, but health wise she's much better now.

PS. The Girl and Little Man came home with a few surprises for me: 1) I don't think their fingernails or toenails were clipped once during the summer...YUCK! 2) They left their table manners at their dad's 3) Little Man has a semi-mohawk that's so long it looks like a horse mane 4) The Girl is more overly dramatic than when she left and has a serious attitude problem that will require adjusting in the near future..the very near future.

Kill me now...

Thursday, August 09, 2007


I'm leaving in a few hours to get the kids. WOOHOO ME! Unfortunately, I'm swamped at work. I have to be in LA tomorrow and for the entire weekend, so I'll be out of the office this afternoon and all day tomorrow. With DW and my boss both on vacation, my workload has tripled, which means I'm way behind. But I have to drive to Vegas to get the kids and I have to be in LA for the weekend, so there isn't much I can do.

I've been trying to get in here to post an update, but I just ran out of time. So, I'll be back Monday, with the kids home (finally) and hopefully in a much better frame of mind.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

Much love,

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Isn't It Strange...

...when you find you have nothing to say to a very good friend?

I recently fell out of touch with a very good friend and I find that now, I really have nothing to say. We seem to be at cross purposes lately and whenever I think about contacting said friend, I honestly can't think of anything to say.

I find that rather sad, to be honest. I used to be able to speak to this friend about anything, but now I don't even want to talk about mundane things.

I suppose I'm just reflecting on the changes we as humans go through. As little as three months ago, I would have said I couldn't imagine not speaking to this friend every day. But now? Well, it's been quite awhile and....well, I guess I just don't have anything to say. Weird.

Moving on...

Friday night MM and I had dinner with Joey and Isabel. Daphne joined us, as did Izzy's cousin, sister and her cousin's boyfriend. We went to Dave and Busters and had dinner, then played games. We had a grand time, as always. MM and Joey, competitive though they are, got whooped by us girls. I love it when that happens.

Daph beat the pants off all of us in a racing game, coming in first place with MM a close second and myself in third. He was all red when it was over and slightly pouty. *snicker*

Then we played a few shooting games. Daph rocks at those, too. Well, the ones where you have a handheld gun (i.e. pistol, etc). I rock at the ones using a shotgun/rifle. Such as the Extreme Hunting, where you hunt large game and the Old West Shooting Game, where you try to hit targets with a shotgun. I kicked MM's butt at both of those. *snicker* Poor baby was all upset, too. haha Although, to be totally fair, it was really close in the Extreme Hunter game. I bagged three deer, and he only bagged one, but the deer he got was much larger than mine. So in essence, I had to shoot three to get as many points as he got for one. But the bottom line? I won, he lost. haha

Yes, I know it's childish. I don't care. LOL

Izzy's cousin was very impressed with my shooting skills when it came to the Old West game. At one point my score was 220 and MM's was 140 when the game ended. Tee hee.

Anyway, we had a great night out and got home kind of late. I always love spending time with Daph and Izzy. And Joey and MM are always a riot.

They played the Star Trek game together. It's the kind where you climb into a little booth that has curtains that close on either side of the bench seat. When Izzy and I saw them playing I told her to go take a pic (my camera batteries were dead) and Joey and MM closed the curtains to avoid pictures. MM later told us he had a "gay" moment after that, when someone was peeking in the windows and he felt like him and Joey were being caught together. haha

Poor MM.

Anyway, that's about it, I guess. How lucky am I that I got to see Izzy and Daph Friday night and got to spend more time with Daph Saturday night? We seriously don't see each other often enough.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

I Bought A Freaking Dress!

My mom, sister and I went to San Diego this weekend to the beach for a girls weekend. We went to Mission Bay and shopped a bit and relaxed on the beach. Daphne met up with us yesterday and had dinner with us last night before going home. It was nice to play in the ocean and relax in the sun. I even got a bit of a tan (nice!).

This morning we decided to stop at David's Bridal in San Diego before heading home, so I could try on a few dresses and get an idea what style I liked...only, the 4th dress I tried on? I loved it. No, seriously loved it! We set it aside while I tried on a couple others and the 6th dress? Loved it! Loved it a lot!

It was comfortable and fit well and flattered my shape...but so did the 4th one. :P

Since I hadn't planned to buy one at all, having two dresses I loved was strange, but I figured I could buy one later once I'd made up my mind. I mean...hello, I have a year. lol

I asked my sister to try on a few bridesmaid dresses so I could see how they looked with the two dresses I liked and so I could get an idea of what looked good on her (I don't want my bridesmaids looking ugly, that will only reflect bad on me). I put the first dress back on to see how it looked with the dress I asked my sister to buy and well...I didn't really like it anymore. After the simplicity of the second dress...well, it just didn't work for me.

I tried the second dress on again to see how it looked with yet another bridesmaid dress and...well, I didn't want to take it off. I figured that was a sign and..I bought it.

How crazy is that?

My sister took pictures of me in it, so if anyone wants to see it, just email me and I'll forward the pics on (She hasn't emailed them yet, though). I know a lot of you wanted to see the dress when I bought it, but I can't take a chance MM will see. :)

I'm exhausted from the weekend, though, so I'm off to bed early. Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Dear Folgers/Black and Decker,

As you can see, I wasn't quite sure to whom I should address this letter. I've been a fan of your ground coffee and appliances for years. As time has progressed I've seen your respective companies grow and expand and feel I have had a small part in making those expansions and growths happen.

Currently I wake up to the Coffeehouse Series Breakfast Blend - which is light and gives a great kick start to my mornings - that I brew in my VersaBrew Plus 12 Cup Programmable coffee maker. In the afternoons I savor the original Classic Roast while sitting at my desk. Sometimes I add Hazelnut Coffeemate creamer to enhance the flavor, sometimes I drink it black. It just depends on my mood.

As a long time customer of both of your companies, however, I am slightly disappointed in your labeling. Let me explain.

This morning my (former) Fiance and I were preparing to start our day, and he offered to brew the coffee for me, he himself not caring much for the taste (I know, the horror!). I happened to notice him intently staring at the recyclable (where programs allow) container of grounds, but as I was running a bit late I didn't think to question him about it.

As it turns out, this was a grave mistake on my part.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. If you look closely at the label, Folgers, on your Coffeehouse Series Breakfast Blend container, you will notice there are instructions for brewing, a notice advising us, your loyal customers, that the container is recyclable and the weight (in oz, lb and g), in both English and Spanish.

Black and Decker, in your owners manual in the Important Safeguards section, you mention the proper use of your appliance, the caution one must take when handling water near the plugged in cord, to not use the appliance if said cord is damaged, and a number of other things that might perhaps be useful to owners such as myself, if, that is, we aren't engaged to the man I happened to be (formerly) engaged to.

What both products seem to be lacking, however, is a disclaimer. Perhaps you've seen such disclaimers on other packaging? McDonald's, for example, clearly states that the contents of their cups are extremely hot and could possibly burn you if said contents come into contact with skin.

As my (f0rmer) fiance found out earlier this morning, combining your two products does in fact produce an extremely hot liquid that can scald bare skin. I find it extremely erroneous on your part that you didn't mention this in your packaging.

It is because I feel I'm a loyal customer of both companies that I write this letter now. I don't believe I could live with myself if, due to your negligence, a person not quite as forgiving as myself sued either of your companies and caused you to go out of business, or at the very least face steep legal fees and large out of court settlements.

Therefore, I am suggesting you include the following disclaimer on all packaging from this day foward:

Brewed product will be extremely hot. Do not attempt to stir the finished product with your penis, as this could cause series harm or bodily injury.

I think (former) fiance's like mine the world over would very much appreciate the advanced warning.


Holly Mercer
Formerly Engaged in Southern California

**disclaimer: This post is a work of fiction created by myself based on the very twisted mind of MM. **

Thursday Thirteen: 13 Pet Names

13 Pet Names MM Has For Me

  1. Pudding Pop
  2. White Trash Queen
  3. Redneck Princess
  4. Jerkyface
  5. Baby
  6. Babycakes
  7. MIHF (Mother I HAVE F*cked)
  8. Honey
  9. Crazy Bitch
  10. His "girl"
  11. Dorkface
  12. Sexy
  13. Popsicle

Wednesday, August 01, 2007


The kids are coming home next Thursday. It's been a loooong summer without them. I can't wait!

Once again they're flying into Vegas and I'm driving down to pick them up. I can't wait to see how much they've grown (and yes, I'm dreading that a bit, too) and how much they've changed.

Hugs of commiseration to all you mom's out there who lose your kids for long periods of time to a non-custodial parent. It bites the big one.

In other news:

Kristie(j) could use a hug right now, I think. She's an amazing person and I hate that she's hurting. Although I know it's bound to happen, it still doesn't make it easier for her - or for us, her friends.

Much love, Kristie. I hope things start looking up for you.

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