Friday, June 29, 2007

Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better

MM has a massive competitive streak. Last summer we went to a BBQ at my parents house and they challenged us to a game of Horse Shoes. I've seen my family play, so I declined, but MM readily agreed. A few days before the BBQ, my mom had mentioned Horse Shoes and MM started talking shit. "I'm going to wipe the pit with you" "You've never seen a better player than me." "You better think long and hard before you challenge me, I'm the best" and blah, blah. DW, who also has a healthy competitive streak, couldn't let that go. I honestly don't remember now who won, but I do remember that one of the guests walked away from the game bleeding. Literally. Someone threw a shoe and hit him in the leg. So not pretty.

Of course, that's just one example.

I have a Nintendo. Like, an original Nintendo. You know, the uber cool gaming system we all loved in the late 80's and early 90's? Yeah, one of those. I even have the original Super Mario Brothers game with Duck Hunt, the gun and the power pad. I'm so cool like that. MM says this is the best thing about me moving in with him. He gets the Nintendo. Freak.

Last week MM said he was going to set it up to play, but couldn't find the power cord for it. I told him, "that's because I haven't moved it yet. I found it in a box of stuff at the old house and forgot to grab it." He grumbled about not being able to set it up, but was mostly just happy that I still had it.

Last night my brother and his girlfriend came over for dinner and just before they left MM and I decided to set the Nintendo up. My brother decided they'd better head home, because it was getting late, so me and MM started playing the game. We argued over who got to be Mario and who got to be Luigi. MM said I should be Luigi because I like green better than red, I said I should be Mario because he's the cooler brother and I'm cooler than MM is.

There was even a moment of totally immaturity where we wrestled each other for the controllers. Good times, Good times...

Anyway, MM finally gave in and let me be Mario and we started playing. It's been a few years since I played, but I still remember where a lot of the little extra stuff was. Like the free guy mushrooms that are hidden and such. I even remembered where the Warp Zones were.

I think, with the warping and all, I made it to the 6th level before I died the first time. MM was silent while I played, which kind of surprised me. I expected him to get all impatient and grumble because he wanted to play. But nope.

So I die and it's his turn. The game starts on the first level and...MM dies. The very first little mushroom dude? Yeah, MM forgot to jump over him.


I start playing again and make it through another three or so levels. Then I fall off a ledge. MM is up again. This time he makes it half way through the first level before he dies.


I start playing again and by now I've got like 7 extra lives and I'm remembering some more of the extra hidden stuff. MM says, "I bet if I were Mario I'd be doing better." I said, "So that's the problem, huh? Poor baby."

I die again and it's his turn now. He makes it almost through the second level and then he dies again. Game over for him. Poor baby.

I start playing again, and I've still got 6 lives left. I said, "Do you want to play my guy?" He just glared at me and said, "No!"

I was going through one of those sky levels and kept falling off the little pad thingos, so I ran through the rest of my guys pretty quick. We decided to start another game and I asked MM if he wanted to be Mario this time. He got kind of pouty and said, "no!". I just sighed.

Right before we started playing, though, he threw me his controller and said, "Ok, let's trade."

We did and he started first with Mario. He died. I played Luigi and got about as far as I did the first time around before I died. He started again and he died halfway through the second level. I said, "So it's not just Mario?" He didn't say anything.

Any who, he eventually died out, ending his game, and I asked him if he wanted to play for me, because I was ready for bed. He said, "You can't go to bed yet! We have to keep playing." I said, "Babe, I have to work tomorrow. I didn't get to sleep all day like some people I know." We finished playing off my guys, taking turns each time one of us died. When the game was over I told him I was going to bed. He said that wasn't right, I needed to keep playing with him. I said, "you go ahead. I'm tired." Then I said, "Besides, you need the practice."


I went to start the shower and then went into the kitchen while it was warming up to get a glass of water. MM was still playing and he said, "I'm doing a lot better without you watching me." I said, "That's good" and he said, "you're a jerkyface." I just laughed.

I was about halfway through my shower when MM came into the bathroom, having evidently deciding that sex was more important than Mario. Surprising, isn't it?

He said, "You know, I haven't played in a really long time. Like ten years. That's why I didn't do so good." I said, "Well, I didn't have a Nintendo when I was growing up, so I didn't start playing until about 8 years ago. So it hasn't been that long for me. I'm sure that's why I did better than you."

He just sighed.

Poor MM. He got beat by a girl.

I wonder how much time he'll spend playing the game today? I'm sure he won't be happy until he can beat me.


Thursday, June 28, 2007

Don't You Just Hate...

...those women that are pretty criers? I'm so not one of them, and it pisses me off. When I cry my eyes and nose turn bright red and my cheeks get all splotchy.

You know, it kind of makes for an uncomfortable situation whilst at work...

*le sigh*

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

How To Be A Drama Queen: Lesson 4

My sister has had the same best friend since 6th grade. We'll call her B. Now, DQ used to date this loser guy and B dates the loser boyfriend's best friend, who is also a loser (I have no idea how this happened, either. Both girls are cute and other than the constant drama, are pretty good peeps, so why they'd choose to be with ugly loser guys is beyond me).

DQ broke up with her loser boyfriend almost two years ago, but they still see each other off and on. About a year ago, he moved to AZ. DQ went down to visit him a few times and then she decided she was officially done with him. This was maybe 6 months ago? Something like that.

But B and her man have been going strong this whole time. According to DQ, B's man is a POS and B shouldn't be with him. I think this is partially true and partially DQ being salty that B still has a man when DQ doesn't. But whatever.

A few months ago, B decided she was moving to AZ with her man. DQ was PISSED about it. She's bitched non-stop about it ever since B told her. And because this is DQ, it's not just that she's worried about her best friend moving in with a loser, it's about DQ not having a friend. You know, she'll say things like, "B, you're so STUPID! Gosh. What am I supposed to do now? How can you leave like that?" you know, normal It's All About Me DQ behavior.

So, B called DQ on a Thursday (this was maybe 3 weeks ago ago?)and told her she was moving to AZ on that Saturday. They got in a big fight about B leaving. DQ was all sorts of pissed off about B leaving and they had words. I didn't ask and don't want to know, right?

B left Saturday morning for AZ....before her and DQ had talked again. DQ was telling me about this, how B left after a fight and how stupid she is and how she can't believe she's allll alllone now with NO FRIENDS (gosh, wonder why) and blah, blah. I tuned her out after awhile.

But then the following Monday morning, we're all in the office and DQ says to me and DW, "Do you have your cell phones today?" and when we said yes and asked why she said, "I wanted to give you my new cell number."

Hmm, ok.

I said, "Why do you have a new cell number?" and she said, "Well, I wouldn't want just ANYONE to have it." I shared a look with DW and said, "This doesn't have anything to do with a "B" person, does it?" She said, after a short pause, "No. Of course not. But you know, I don't want just anyone to be able to call me." I gave her a skeptical look but dropped it. Sometimes it's better to do that with DQ.

Anyway, DW later tells me that B called the house and left a message on Monday afternoon. "DQ! I tried calling your cell and it's not going through. Please call me!"

DW asked DQ if she got the message and DQ shrugged it off. But later that night, DQ asked again and we got the real story.

Sure enough, DQ changed her number because she was mad at B. You know, the girl she's been best friends with since the 6th grade? Yeah, probably a little extreme, but that's just me. Of course, this doesn't surprise me as much as it probably should, since I clearly remember the MySpace incident.

But it gets better!

DQ still lives with my parents and for all DW's irrational behavior, she put her foot down about changing her home number just because DQ was in a snit, so B still had that number, even if she didn't have DQ's cell.

B called my sister later Monday night and again on Tuesday. She left messages both times. DW casually mentioned this to DQ, trying to encourage her to call B back. DQ was having none of it.

But DQ finally caved on Wednesday and called B back. They talked for quite awhile and then DW overheard DQ giving B her new cell number.....

I realize that was a bit confusing, so let me recap:

DQ got in a fight with her best friend. Then Best Friend moved to AZ before they made up. In a fit of pique DQ changed her cell phone number so Best Friend wouldn't have it. Then, three days later, she gives Best Friend her new cell number, which made changing it in the first place pointless.

Beautiful, isn't it?

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Rated R

I was blog hopping while talking to Rowena today and I came across this on Marg's site. Ween and I both did it and I came up with an R rating.

Online Dating

Mingle2 - Online Dating

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

* bastard (3x)
* penis (2x)
* shit (1x)

Shoot, that's better than Wena...

She got an NC-17 Rating. HAHAHAHA! She's so dirty!

Moving on...

I don't have too much to report right now. I've been in a bit of a funk lately and haven't really had too much to say. It's so strange for me to not have my children home with me. I can't read or just lay around and watch t.v. to pass the time, because I feel all sorts of guilty, like I'm neglecting the kids. I've been a mom for so long I have no idea how to function without the kids underfoot. 'Tis strange.

MM has been doing his best to keep me distracted, but unfortunately his schedule changed again. As of June 23rd he was supposed to go on a 4/10 schedule working from (I think) 8-7 or 7-6..something like that...with Friday, Saturday, Sunday off. Tres Cool, no? But at the last minute they changed it and he's now has Thursday, Friday, Saturday off, which is still alright because I have Saturday, Sunday off so we can hang out together, but now he works the swing shift, 3pm to 1am. So basically, I've been home alone all week. YIKES!

I'm trying to get out of the house more, but well...I don't really have any friends. That sounds so depressing, but it's true. The few girlfriends I have that live close to me are either busy with their own families/lives or we just don't talk that often anymore. I'm very blessed to have some amazing online friends, but it sucks not being able to call one of them and say, at the very last minute, "let's get lunch today." You know?

I did go down to L.A. on Saturday to see Ween and Daphne, though. We had a great girls day. We went to lunch and gossiped and laughed then spent an obscene amount of time in Barnes and Noble. It was fabulous. Too bad we don't live closer to each other so we could do that more often. Ahh well.

I'm swamped with work stuff, so that's it for now, but I'll try to update more often.

What's new with the rest of you??

Much Love,

Thursday, June 21, 2007

7x7 Music Meme

Because I have a girl-crush on CindyS and because she asked so nicely:

Holly (is it too early to be thinking about wedding music?)

here are 7 songs currently on my...Wedding playlist.

Da Rules:

List seven songs you are into right now, no matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your LiveJournal along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.

1. At Last by Etta James. I just lurrve this song, and you know, it so perfectly fits my relationship with MM.

2. Crazy Bitch by Buckcherry. MM says this is my song. He tells all his little friends that and when it comes on the radio he calls me and says, "Honey, your song is on. Tell the nice people what your song is." Jerkass. But what he doesn't know is that I fully plan on this being the first song we dance to at our wedding. Let him explain THAT to his family.

3. Leather and Lace by Stevie Nicks and Don Henley. This was my mother's pick for us. I think it fits us pretty well and I really like the hook. (just ignore the cheesy video...bonus points if you can tell me what it's

4. God Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts. We both traveled some rough paths before finding each other, but we're both thankful that we suffered through what we did, because it made us who we are today and brought us together.

5. When You Say Nothing At All by Allison Krauss. Love is such an amazing thing. And with MM, it's not what he says, but how he acts. I love the look he gets on his face when he sees me for the first time in the afternoon, or the smile he has on his face when he talks about our lives together.

6. The Way You Look Tonight by Frank Sinatra. I know Michael Buble recently re-did this song, but I'm partial to Ol' Blue Eyes' version. I get this warm, fuzzy feeling when I think about this song in relation to my wedding day. I guess I like to think MM will hear this song and always think of me on our wedding day.

7. Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman by Bryan Adams. This is more for me than MM, despite what you might think while listening to the song. This is how he makes me feel. Like he really loves me. I get all teary-eyed listening to it. *sniff* Yes, I'm a sap. (I couldn't find the Don Juan DeMarco video I wanted, so you get the Brangelina one instead)

Aww, wasn't that sweet? See, I can be sappy and romantic, dammit!

Let's see...who am I going to torture tag?

Beta Fishy
Jodi Lee

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Happy Birthday Daphne!!!

Two years ago I was blessed enough to meet a wonderful woman online. For some reason, we connected right away and I'm so very happy that she's become one of my best friends. She's charming, amazing and one of the sweetest people I've ever known.

Please join me in wishing Daphne a very Happy Birthday.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

More Quizzes to Pass the Time

I seem to have lots of thoughts lately, but not much to say. So, instead of rambling on about nothing, here's another quiz post to keep you occupied until my brain sorts through my thoughts and allows me to vocalize again. Who knows how long that will take...

You Are Adventurous... Sometimes

You like an adrenaline rush as much as the next person. You like your thrills in small doses.
You're generally pretty calm and level headed. But sometimes you have to go wild and have a crazy adventure.

Your Brain is Blue

Of all the brain types, yours is the most mellow.
You tend to be in a meditative state most of the time. You don't try to think away your troubles.
Your thoughts are realistic, fresh, and honest. You truly see things as how they are.

You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about your friends, your surroundings, and your life.

You Fight Fair

For you, a fight is not about proving you're right.
Instead, it's about discussing and resolving difficult issues.
You don't look for fights, but you don't avoid them either.
You realize that clearing the air is good, when you go about it the right way.

Your Quirk Factor: 57%

You're a pretty quirky person, but you're just normal enough to hide it.
Congratulations - you've fooled other people into thinking you're just like them!

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as warm and well-balanced.

Overall, your true self is passionate and physical.

With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react.

In love, you seem energetic - almost manic.

In stressful situation, you seem like you're oblivious to the stress.

You've Changed 56% in 10 Years

You've done a good job changing with the times, but deep down, you're still the same person.
You're clothes, job, and friends may have changed some - but it hasn't changed you.

Your Mouth is a Little Big

You're not a total tell all, but you don't hide who you are either.
You've struck a good balance between discretion and sharing.
People know you fairly well, at least on a superficial level.
But you save your most revealing secrets for your best friend... or no one!

Friday, June 15, 2007

The Highlights

Since the other girls already told you all about our weekend, I'm just going to recap the highlights for you.

They're Coming To Take Me Away, ha ha

Instead of having the girls (Rowena and Daphne) drive straight to my house Friday night, I asked them to meet me at Borders. I figured we could check out some new books and relax before the moving started on Saturday.

After we spent a good hour or so in the bookstore we decided to have dinner at the Yard House. They have great food and good drinks. I ordered a Blue Hawaiian Martini for myself and Ween got a Peach something or other Martini. Mine was better. haha Daph stuck with soda.

Anyway, we just laughed and joked and had a great time catching up and making fun of the drunk frat boys who were girl hunting. MM got stuck working late, but said he'd meet us when he was finished if it wasn't too late.

About 11:00 he called to tell me he was done working but was too tired to meet us and planned to just go home. I said that was fine we were almost finished anyway.

About 20 minutes later we headed for our cars. Since I was parked on one side of the building and Daph on the other, I followed her to her car and she was going to give me a ride to mine (she needed to follow me home). As we were getting into her car my phone rang. It was MM.

MM: "Where are you?"
Me: "We just left, why?"
MM: "You're gone already?"
Me: "Yes, does this disturb you? You sound upset by it. Did you change your mind about coming over?"
MM: "No. Never mind."

Turns out MM sent one of his little cop friends into the restaurant to harass us. He was supposed to accuse us of stealing books from Borders and then give us DUI tests. Jerk. He sounded so disappointed that we'd already left I asked him if he wanted us to go back in. He said, sounding all dejected, "No, that would ruin the fun."

This boy.

Lazy Daphne

Saturday morning I got up early so I could head over and get the U-Haul truck. Since we'd been up pretty late the night before and I knew the girls had had a long day before driving up Friday, I decided to let them sleep while I headed down to get the truck and do some other stuff at my house.

I left the house about 7:45, but I reset the alarm for MM and told him to meet me no later than 9:00 at the U-Haul place so I wouldn't have to leave my car there. He said ok and rolled back over.

I paid for the U-Haul and then left it there while I went home to do some more packing and etc. At 9:30 I still hadn't heard from MM so I called him.

Me: Where are you?
Him: Daphne won't wake up. She's been sleeping this whole time and every time I try to nudge her awake she grumbles and kicks at me.
Me: *not believing for even half a second Daph is the one being lazy* Uh huh. Sure. Tell her to get up so y'all can get down here.
Him: Sure, as soon as I get her up I swear we'll be there.
Me: You were supposed to meet me at the U-Haul place. Hello!
Him: It's Daph's fault!
Me: Just hurry up!

I was slightly annoyed with him because he was supposed to meet me and I didn't want to leave my car at the U-Haul place, but I just said screw it and went to the truck. As I was climbing into the truck my cell phone rang. It was Isabel. Her and Joey were at my house. Luckily I was close, so I told her I'd be back in less than 5 and to just. I told her about MM being lazy and how everyone was still sleeping (this said sarcastically because I KNEW Daph wasn't the one being lazy). Izzy said, "Oh crap" and we hung up.

I got there and we bitched for a minute about the boys (we had PMS, we were allowed) and then about 10 minutes later MM and the girls showed up. The first thing Daph said was, "I was NOT sleeping!" LOL I know, I know.

The Monster Under the Bed

On Wednesday, two days before the girls were set to arrive, I told the kids they had to finish packing their rooms and get them clean. They'd done the bulk of the cleaning/packing the weekend before and earlier in the week, but the rest had to be done. Since they were both excited about the move, they rushed right in to do it. I should have been suspicious, but I wasn't. More fool me.

While I was waiting for everyone to show up I did a survey of each room to see what needed to be done (I'm embarrassed to say A LOT! Damn, I was lazier than I even realized...LOL). While checking The Girl's room I noticed something sticking out from under the bed. I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach and got down on my knees to see what the damage was.

It was bad.

No, I mean it was bad. I almost cried.

I just sat there staring at it and thought...fuck.

Since there wasn't much I could do about it at the time, I left it and moved on to something else. I figured I could deal with it once the bed was taken out.

Once everyone finally arrives I tell them, "Wait until you see what I found". We all peeked under the bed again and then MM and Joey started taking furniture out to the truck while the girls started on the kitchen. Awhile later they finally took The Girl's bed out and we surveyed the mess. It was scary.

There were clothes and garbage and papers and toys and stuffed animals and towels. I'm surprised the bed wasn't raised off the ground there was so much crap under there. Daph, the peach that she is, grabbed a garbage bag and started cleaning it up. She should have gotten hazardous duty pay, seriously.

But hey, there were no eggs, so I guess I should count by blessings.

Got You By The Balls

When I was cleaning out one of the drawers in the kitchen I came across a picture of me as a kid. It wasn't very flattering. I showed Wena and we laughed about it - her in a point and laugh kind of way and me in a OMG, I can't believe I still have that kind of way - and then I started to put it up. MM noticed I had it in my hand and grabbed it before I could hide it. I yelled at him to give it back and he took off running. I chased after him.

We ran outside, around the U-Haul, down the street, back around and into the house, where he locked himself in my bathroom. Isabel was in Little Man's room across from mine and could see me pounding on the bathroom door. MM was laughing like a loon and refused to give it up. Finally he came out of the bathroom and the picture wasn't anywhere to be seen. He said he shoved it down his pants. So I went after it. It was the only thing to do, right?

Well, MM starts yelling, "Holly's grabbing my balls. I got Holly to grab my balls" and Isabel looks over, all shocked and then reaches for her phone. Thankfully it was over before she could snap a picture. I never did get the picture back. And no, I'm not telling you what it was.

Hey Jealousy

After the U-Haul was loaded I asked the girls to help me load the backseat of my dad's truck with the clothes that were hanging in the closet. As we were hauling them out the girls were Oohhing and Ahhing over them. "We're so jealous of all the clothes you have."

We unloaded part of the U-Haul and got the fridge out (MM and Ween swore it would be fine to leave all the food in it and just haul it as is, because MM forgot his cooler. I didn't think it was a good idea, but gave in, because the boys were in charge of the truck. It turned out fine, but we didn't want to leave it unplugged in the truck and take the chance of ruining all the food) and put it in the garage, then we headed to lunch at Applebees. For some reason, our service was really slow and we were gone for almost two hours. When we got back, we were all super tired, having lost our energy over lunch. The boys started unloading the truck and us girls started unpacking some stuff.

It was later in the night before we remembered to take the clothes out of the truck, and we were all dragging by then. We started hauling stuff in and boy did their tune change. "Freakin A, Holly, why do you have to have so many damn clothes?" "Sheesh, have enough clothes, Holly?" "This is ridiculous. No one needs this any clothes." LOL

Boys Stink

We left my house with the loaded U-Haul, my dad's pickup and Isabel's car. MM and Joey rode in the U-Haul together. Me and Daph rode in my dad's truck and Ween hopped in with Izzy. When we pulled in the driveway at MM's, I got out of the pickup before Joey and MM got out of the U-Haul. I walked over to the window and MM was making a face. Then the smell hit me. Apparently whatever the boys had for breakfast wasn't sitting well, if the smell was anything to judge by.

Then later, me and the girls went to the store to get dinner. When we walked back in the house MM and Joey were both laying around in the living room and the entire house smelled like ass. I said, "Sheesh! Ya'll could have opened a window or something." They both just laughed. Freaking boys. And just for the record, it was both of them. I'm so glad we don't live closer to Joey and Iz. I couldn't take that for long.

Foursomes Are Fun

Friday night at dinner me, Daph and Ween started talking about this book, Coulters' Woman by Maya Banks. The basic premise is three brothers share the same woman. The thing is, ol' girl was a virgin her first time with the boys, but that didn't stop them from sharing the goods, if you know what I mean. Like, at one point, there was a man in each hole. After much giggling over this, we started trying to figure out exactly how that would work. I mean, you've got a guy on the bottom with the girl on top of him. He's taking care of the sweet hole. Then, you've got a guy behind her in the dirty hole. But then, you've got a guy in front of her in the pie hole. But wouldn't ol' boy in the pie hole be tea-bagging his brother's face? And wouldn't that be awkward?

Somehow the subject came up again on Saturday evening while me and the girls were laying around in my bed have some girl time. Isabel says, "Ok, so I'm the girl and I'm on the bottom, right?" and lays down on the bed. Ween says, "No, you're the first guy on the bottom. And Holly would be the girl on the top. Climb on top, Holls" which I did, amidst much giggling from the other girls. Then Ween got behind me in place of dirty hole boy and Daph stood in front of me as pie hole boy. And yep, I was right, ol' boy woulda been tea bagging his brother. Because Izzy had a perfect view of Daph's crotch.

Later when MM and Joey asked what we were laughing so hard about me and Izzy told them and they were both outraged. MM: You had a foursome without me? That's jacked up! Where's the video? Joey: What? I knew I should have come in there to see what you were doing!

Ha ha them.

So, I've had a foursome with Daph, Iz and Ween and I've seen Izzy naked. I'm such a lucky girl. *snicker*

Touch Them and Die

Before we left for lunch at Applebee's, MM and Joey started unloading the truck and the girls started unpacking my books. Iz and Ween were sorting them out, making piles on the floor by author, gushing over all the books I have and pulling the ones out they wanted to borrow. MM walked into the room and rolled his eyes and said, "I have furniture to put in here. You need to move this stuff!" The girls just looked at him and kept going.

A few minutes later he mentions it again. Me and Daph were outside and I didn't hear what the girls said to him, but I heard him say, "Fuck the books. I'll take them all outside and burn them." I heard a loud GASP and I think I heard one of the girls growl. Like, a real growl. And then I heard a bunch of cursing and Rowena said, "MM, you say what you want about Holly, but leave the books out of it!" Thanks, babe, I love you too.

The Snitch

As soon as Joey and MM left to take the U-Haul back I asked the girls if they wanted to help me take down MM's Captain Morgan banner from the dining room wall. Izzy jumped at the chance, but Daph and Ween said, no way. I couldn't get the banner down, because we didn't have a screw driver, but Izzy took the rest of the stuff down (MM had a bunch of bachelor type stuff up on his ugly troll that holds a beer bottle, a Margaritaville poster, a banner with two parrots on it, etc) and put it in a box. When MM and Joey got back me and the girls were in the kitchen and MM says, all sorts of loud and pissed off, "WHAT THE FUCK?"

Ween the snitch says, "I'm not ratting anyone out, but we" points to her and Daph "didn't have anything to do with it."

I explained to MM that it was just a joke on our part and he was fine with it, but the next day when I got back from cleaning my house, everything was put back up. Huh. I didn't mean it was a joke like, "feel free to put the stuff back up."

Of course, MM was angry with us, so that's when he mentioned how I'd come in and overwhelmed his whole house, which is what prompted my very girl-like statement during our big fight. Don't worry, I'll be taking the stuff down again later. At least the troll and the Captain Morgan stuff. Personally, I like the Jimmy Buffet stuff and think I might turn his room into a Margaritaville-type retreat.

Anyway, there you have it. Our weekend together. Or the highlights of it anyway. You just never know what kind of trouble we'll get into when we're together, do you?

Wednesday, June 13, 2007


So, MM and I had a huge fight on Sunday. To be totally fair, it was my fault. Well, it was his fault I got mad, but it was my fault we had a fight about it.

You see, we had a crazy busy weekend moving. I was up early and went to bed late too many days in a row. On Sunday, I got up early and went to my house to clean and finish cleaning out cupboards and drawers. I spent 9 hours over there, cleaning and organizing. Four of which were spent on my hands and knees scrubbing floors. It wasn't pretty.

By the time I was ready to head home (it's so weird calling MM's house home) I was exhausted. I hadn't eaten all day and I was probably slightly dehydrated and I could barely move I was so tired.

I called MM and asked him if he'd take my dad's truck back to him (I borrowed it to move the last of the stuff from my house) and he said that was fine. He also said he'd make dinner. Isn't that sweet?

Anyway, I got home about 6 and we unloaded the truck, then I collapsed on the couch while MM went to my parents to return the truck and pick up the kids. I took a shower while he was gone and then just vegged out. MM got home about 20 minutes after my shower and made dinner. While he was cooking it we let Bella in. When it was time to eat we sent her back outside. MM noticed I'd taken her bark collar off (she barks at the neighbors non-stop) and he kind of got pissy with me about it. I told him, "She was in the house, she didn't need to wear it". It ended up turning into a bigger deal than it should have because I was overtired and we were both stressed (not to mention I had PMS) and a little overwhelmed about moving in together.

I got the kids all tucked in and headed to bed myself, still salty with MM over the whole dog thing. I walked into the bedroom and just stood there, staring at the bed. Why? Because there were about four loads of unfolded laundry piled on it.

I walked into the living room where MM was messing around on the computer and sat down on the couch across from him. I didn't say anything, just sat there staring. Finally, I decided I was too tired to start an argument with him and without having said one word, went back into the bedroom to fold the laundry so I could go to bed.

MM followed behind me, asking what was up? "What's up, baby? You looked like you wanted to talk to me. I was just reading Post Secret, you have to come check it out. There's one that reminded me of you." He's all bubbly and happy and whatnot and ya'll, I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I just lost it. I was folding a shirt and I said, "I spent 9 hours at my house cleaning today so I could come home and" sniffle "fold" sniffle "laundry" sob.

The thing is, MM slept until after 2 in the afternoon, and then I swear he did nothing the rest of the afternoon. He brought a few things in from the garage (where we dumped most of my stuff until it could be gone through and sorted out) but that was it.

So there I am, sobbing uncontrollably and so upset I swear I could puke, the whole time trying to yell at him for being lazy. "You slept all day and then you did nothing." Except it sounded more like "You" gasp" slept" sniffle "all" voice quivers "day" that.

Poor MM.

I go on to tell him that he expects me to get my house all cleaned out and whatever and unpack his house, too. He tells me he was going to unpack some stuff, but didn't know where I wanted anything so he didn't. Then, I acted like a total girl and really started crying. "You said" sob "I overwhelmed your whole house" sob "and you don't even want me here!!" SOB!

Poor MM.

He hugged me and told me of course he wanted me to live with him and he loves me and blah blah blah, but I was inconsolable at that point and told him, "Stop touching me, you're only making it worse" to which he just squeezed harder.

Poor MM.

Of course, he's a boy and therefore suffers from penis driven stupidity because then he says, while I'm in the midst of this uncontrollable sobbing breakdown, "Honey," he rubs my back, "is this what it's going to be like when you're pregnant?"

Stupid MM.

Anyway, eventually I calm down and we went to bed (after he finished folding and putting the laundry away). I told him, "I'm sorry for being a basket case. I'm just overtired. I swear." He didn't say anything, smart man.

Since then things have calmed down, but I've been really stressed, because I still have stuff to do at my house (moving out cleaning SUCKS) and I haven't unpacked hardly anything at MM's house and to top it all off, the kids are leaving Thursday for the summer.

That's hard enough as is, but it gets worse. You see, the Rat Bastard wanted the cheapest possible flight, so he booked the flights in and out of Vegas. Vegas is about 3.5 hours from my house and he asked if I could drive them down to meet him. Since I was sick a couple of weeks ago and had to unexpectedly take an entire week off, I couldn't request anymore days off. This meant I'd have to drive the kids to Vegas after work and then turn around and drive right back. We're talking an 8 hour drive round trip. Since I don't get off work until 5 and it's an hour home, I wouldn't get on the road until after 7 and probably wouldn't get back until the wee hours of the morning. Then I'd have to go back to work Friday morning. Long ass day, right?

I tell MM this is my plan and he's unhappy about it, but since he has to work and can't get the day off himself, there's not much he can do about it. My dad offered to ride with me, which eased MM's mind some (and mine if I'm being totally honest) but even so, neither of us were really comfortable with the situation.

So MM calls me yesterday at work and says, "I was thinking...."

He decided he'd just call in sick tomorrow morning and drive the kids to Vegas himself. This way he wouldn't have to worry about me driving across the desert at night and he could leave earlier, which means he'd be home about bedtime, instead of me not getting home until 3 or so in the morning. I said, "Are you sure? Because my dad is willing to go with me" and he said, "Yes, I'm sure. But see if your dad wants to ride along with me. Then I'll have company."

So, that's the plan. MM is going to pick the kids up at noon from school and hit the road no later than 1:00. He should be home right around 9 or 10 tomorrow night. Isn't that awesome? Here I've been, acting like a total nut job the last few days and MM is still going out of his way to take care of me.

Seriously, I freaking love this boy.

PS. I'm still working on a post about the weekend, but go check out what the other girls had to say. They each wrote up something and while the accounts are the same, they come from different POV's, which is always fun. Isabel, Rowena, Daphne.

***Image credits: Post Secret

Monday, June 11, 2007

Good Friends Are Hard To Find...

But I'm blessed to have found several. I can't tell you how amazing Isabel, Joey, Rowena and Daphne were this weekend. Without them, I never would have gotten moved. No, seriously. They truly rock.

I'm totally wiped out from this weekend, but I'll update later and tell you all about the move. If you want some deets before then, go check out Daph's blog. She was Johnny on the Spot and got something typed up yesterday. Me, I'm lazy, so it'll be awhile before you get my version. :)

Hope ya'll had a great weekend!

Friday, June 08, 2007


From Yahoo!

Paris Hilton was taken from a courtroom screaming and crying Friday seconds after a judge ordered her returned to jail to serve out her entire 45-day sentence for a parole violation in a reckless driving case.

"It's not right!" shouted the weeping Hilton. "Mom!" she called out to her mother in the audience.

You know, nothing pisses me off more than some idiot whining and crying about how unfair life is, and not accepting responsibility for their actions. Paris, darling, you fucked up. Now you have to sit in jail like a "real" person. Deal with it.

I have to tell you, though, that Sheriff Dude who let her leave in the first place..he's on my shit list.

"What transpired here is outrageous," county Supervisor Don Knabe told The Associated Press, adding he received more than 400 angry e-mails and hundreds more phone calls from around the country.

Hilton's return home "gives the impression of ... celebrity justice being handed out," he said.

Baca dismissed the criticism, saying the decision was made based on medical advice.

"It isn't wise to keep a person in jail with her problem over an extended period of time and let the problem get worse," Baca told the Los Angeles Times on Thursday.

"My message to those who don't like celebrities is that punishing celebrities more than the average American is not justice," Baca said.(emphasis mine)

Hold up, wait just a second here. Punishing Celebs more than the average American? Hello! She got special treatment. She's in her own cell, away from the general population. Her sentence got lightened from the original 45 days to 23 and THEN she managed to get out after serving less than 3. Bitch, please. If that's "punishing" her, I want on board that ship. Freakin psycho.

Once again, let me say this. Paris is a blight on society and she gives us blondes a bad name. I'm ASHAMED of my hair color because of her. Isn't that sad? SHE SHOULD BE IN JAIL! Jeez.

Aww, Poor Paris. Hey, I wonder if she remembered her bra this time.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Tales of the Devil Woman: Episode 17

I think all mothers/grandmothers have a cure-all stashed somewhere. Some tonic that alleviates every ailment, or a super cleaner that will wash out any stain, no matter what, or perhaps a recipe guaranteed to cure the blues or impress your in-laws.

Some of us inherited these products, ones handed down from generation to generation, for our own use. My grandmother swears if you put warm vinegar in your ear it will cure an earache, and my mother often used it on us. Now, I use it on my children. I've also been known to gargle with it if I have a sore throat. It tastes nasty as hell, but it kills bacteria like nothing else.

Naturally, the Devil Woman has some of her own fix-alls. Ones not handed down by her mother or grandmother. Ones she herself found along the way. Some of them I use myself.

But the Devil Woman's number one fix-all for everything is just something I can't see myself using. Oh, sure, I've tried it a time or two, but I just don't think it's supposed to be used as often as she does, or for the projects she does.

Wondering what DW's fix-all is?

Why, Duct Tape of course. Yes, duct tape. You know, the fat, gray, extremely sticky tape?

She uses it to fix everything. I mean, everything.

Her dress or skirt needs hemmed? No need to bother with a pesky needle and thread, duct tape will do just fine to shorten the length or clean up the edges.

Her leather top coffee table was chewed on by her dogs? No need to bother with a patch or with replacing it, duct tape and a well placed magazine will fix it right up.

A bird attacks her my book at the beach and tears off both front and back covers? No need to replace it, duct tape will secure the cover and hide those pesky peck marks.

She can't find a strapless bra that works with her new strapless dress? No need to panic, duct tape will hold those bad boys up all night long. And if there's a bit of pain involved when removing the makeshift bra, well, as her favorite saying goes "if you want to be beautiful, you have to suffer".

I'm telling you, according to the Devil Woman, there isn't anything that can't be fixed with Duct Tape. Like, her computer.

See, her CD Rom drive stopped working, so she ordered a new online. And decided to install it herself (hmm, that could maybe be yet another Episode). I guess she didn't have a problem getting the cover off the tower, or removing the old drive, but she couldn't get the new drive to line up just right inside the tower. So she duct taped it in there. Smart, right?

But that wasn't her only issue. Because for some reason, she couldn't get the cover back on the tower. It just wasn't working. So, she duct taped it, too.

When I told our IT guy about this, he laughed. Then he realized I was serious and a look of horror descended over his features. He turned pale, too.

The Devil Woman: Scaring IT guys one roll of duct tape at a time.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

It's the End of the World As We Know It

We're moving this weekend. Isabel graciously offered to drive down from Northern Cali to help me move. She's dragging Joey along for extra muscle.

Rowena and Daphne are driving up, too. You have no idea how thankful I am for their help. Y'all may not remember, but the last time I moved, no one helped. I mean, no one. I did all the packing and at the last minute my dad helped me move my stuff, but I was left with all the unpacking, too. To have these wonderful women come up to help me is just..overwhelming. I keep getting all teary eyed while thinking about it. Do I have great friends, or what?

Of course, I also keep getting bitchy. The more I think about having to pack and move, the worse it gets. Then I got salty at a friend over nothing today.

Uh-oh. Know what this means? Yep, it's PMS time.

But wait, it gets better.

Me and Izzy were talking just now and guess what? She's PMSy, too. We should be starting on or about the same day. Do you understand what this means? Me and Izzy will be having our periods at the same time, in the same place, while doing something we both hate...moving.

Poor MM and Joey.

Except, well, I don't think we should tell them. Do you?

Monday, June 04, 2007


Last week sucked, but I'm much better today. I started feeling better Friday afternoon and other than being weak and sort of bitchy (like that's I felt much better over the weekend. Saturday I relaxed and did a few things around the house, but I was pretty worn out still. Yesterday MM came over in the morning and we packed quite a bit more and took two loads of furniture and etc to his house. We were snippy with each other most of the day, but I spent the night last night and all is well today. We were both just overtired and grumpy. It's nice knowing we can be jerks to each other and still be fine the next day. :)

The kids are doing well in school (only a week left!) and are excited to move. They packed up their rooms yesterday and kept saying, "Mom, are we taking this box? Mom, should I put my stuffed animals in here?" stuff like that. It was cute and I'm glad they're taking the move well.

They're supposed to be going to spend the summer with the RB, but we haven't finalized any plans yet, unfortunately. He keeps dragging his feet (mostly because he hates flying and there's no way I can do it myself with the move and all) but I guess we're looking at them leaving around the 14th or 15th of June and not coming back home until sometime around the middle of August. Right now I'm excited for them to go. I love my children madly, but I need a break. However, I know by the 2nd week of their absence I'll be climbing the walls and freaking out because they're gone. To be fair, though, I know it's hard for him not to see the kids on a regular basis. And he has been much better in his attitude towards me AND the kids. He calls them more often and makes more of an effort to stay informed of what's going on in their lives. He's also been very gracious about my relationship with MM. He often makes references to MM and our engagement (in a totally casual way. example: He'll say, "How's MM doing? The kids said y'all did such and such, which sounds cool" and not in a sarcastic, I'm better than he his way, either. Which is a really nice change) and doesn't seem bitter about it, which makes me happy. I would have for him to be venomous and try to turn the kids against us.

Anyway, I'm swamped with work today, since I was out all last week, and I won't have time to blog hop. I hope all of you are well and I miss you! Hopefully I'll be able to update more often over the next week or so, but I'm not making any promises until after the move.

Happy Monday!

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