Thursday, March 22, 2007

Well, that's it for me...


As soon as I get off work tonight I'm heading out of town. I'm driving to LA tonight and meeting up with Dylan. YAY ME! I haven't seen her since the Keith Urban concert last Dec. More than a year! Can you believe it?

Anyway, my flight leaves tomorrow morning around 10:00 and I arrive in Chicago around 4p.m. I can't wait! Evil Cousin called me this morning and said her and her mom have been fighting non-stop about who gets to pick me up from the airport. Aww, I'm so loved. You know what I'm most excited about, though?

Pepe's Mexican Restaurant and White Castle!

I haven't had Pepe's since I was in high school. Talk about Amazing!

But it's White Castle I'm orgasmic over. I'm so sorry for all of you out there who haven't had it before. The slyders! The onion rings. The SLYDERS! YUM! Shoot, it's possible that I'm more excited for the White Castle than I am to see my family. But don't tell them I said that, ok? Hee Hee

So, I guess that's it. I'll miss you all terribly! I hate that I'll be internet-less for more than a week. I'm already having withdrawals and I haven't even left yet. *sigh*

Oh, and you know what I'm most scared of? Coming back and checking my email. I just know those bitches from SF are going to flood me. Do you have any idea what it's like to come back to thousands - Yes, I said THOUSANDS - of emails? UGH! ha ha

Have a great week, All! I'll see you next month!

Hugs,
Holly

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

A Cop's Wife


What does it mean to be a cop's wife? Because I might be one someday, I've been thinking about it a lot.

MM got a call at 1:00 Monday morning. He was needed at work because of an emergency. The phone woke me up and I watched as he took a shower, dressed, and headed out the door to do what he's wanted to do for most of his life: Protect and Serve.

After he left I rolled onto his side of the bed, hugged his pillow to my chest and thought, "This is it. This is what my life will be like." Midnight phone calls and missed dates. Holidays alone and canceled vacations. An empty place at the dinner table and long nights alone in bed.

I'll see sadness in his eyes, or hear an edge to his voice, and know there's nothing I can do to make it better. There will be silent nights of suffering and tears on the pillow.

The thing is, I'm ok with that. I know it won't always be easy, and there will be times when I'll be thoroughly disappointed. But I knew when I met him what his job meant to him, and what it could eventually mean to me.

When MM walks out the door to go to work, I don't worry about him. Not any more than I would if he was doing some other job, anyway. When the phone rings at midnight, I don't break out in a cold sweat or feel my heart pound in my chest. I can't control fate, and I can't keep him safe. He could be killed in the line of duty tomorrow, or in a car accident next week. I just have to trust his training and God to keep him safe. And I do. I do.

I know he's been well trained to take care of himself and that he has an entire team of other well trained people to back him. There are risks in everything we do. Yes, his job is more risky than others, but he wouldn't be the man I love if he wasn't a cop.

He told me last night, "We're not superheroes. We're just men. Men who do what we can every day." But he's wrong. He is a superhero. He's my superhero.

What does it mean to be a cop's wife? I don't know yet.

But I'm excited to find out. (And hey, what do you know, I only gagged a little while typing that. I've come a long way, haven't I?)

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The Road Trip From Hell


That's what I'm getting ready to go on.

My Evil Cousin called me a few weeks ago and said, "I'm ready to go home. And I was thinking...."

I always get scared when she starts thinking. Bad things usually happen to me.

Quick Recap: My Evil Cousin found out she was preggers last year, just before her husband was shipped to Iraq (he's a marine). Rather than spend yet another pregnancy alone, she closed up her house and moved to Ill. with her mother for the remained her of her pregnancy. She had the baby last month. A little girl. :End Recap

So, as it turns out, EC is ready to come home. Her husband got extended and won't be home until probably June. She asked if I'd be willing to fly to Chicago and then drive home with her.

Now, normally I'd be all for it. I love road trips. But we're talking about a 4 day car trip with a toddler, a newborn and a pitbull. Not good times.

Yes, of course I accepted. I'm leaving Thursday night for LA and fly out Friday morning. What did I get myself into? *sigh*

In the meantime, I'm swamped getting things done. I'm sorry for not updating more, but I just don't have time. It's only going to get worse, too. I have to get my desk at work cleared, all my laundry done and bags packed, plus all the other million things that come along with going on vacation. I won't be home until April 1st, so chances are I won't be able to update until after then.

Just in case, I hope all of you have a great couple of weeks and I'm sure I'll have lots of fun tales to share when I get home.

Much Love,
Holly

Friday, March 16, 2007

Twisted Kingdom V. 2


Something very exciting is happening at Twisted Kingdom.

Welcome to Twisted Kingdom v.2! As you know, we are re-inventing this blog to make it better than it was! Lots of new features and reviews coming up! Read about the Re-birth of the blog here.


To help promote V.2, the wonderful ladies over there are hosting some wonderful contests:

To celebrate TK's rebirth, we will have two contests!

Here's how they work:

The first contest is simple and the goal is to spread the word about TK's rebirth! All you have to do is make a short announcement on your blog, myspace or website about TK's rebirth and link back to us using the buttons in the sidebar. Of course, if you can find better ways to let the world know about TK, go for it :D

The dateline for this contest will be March 25th, 11:59pm. Let us know that you have participated by leaving a comment and the url to your blog, myspace or website in this post! Simple, no?

The second contest is a tad more challenging, but probably much more interesting. That is, you have to write a guest review! It can be any book, as long as there is some fantasy or paranormal element. It could be a book you have just recently read or your favorite fantasy/paranormal book and it doesn't matter whether it has been already reviewed at TK or not! So, how to participate? Easy, you write your review following TK's simple guideline (really just a few requests to make all of our reviews uniform) and submit it at thetwistedk@gmail.com by April 15th, 11:59pm. Your review will most likely be post the following Tuesday or Thursday. The more guest reviews you write, the better your chances to win!

For each contest, we will have a draw to determine the winner :) But, what is the grand prize? The winners will be able to choose their own prize: a fantasy/paranormal book written by one of our featured Author of the Month! Since we have not chosen the Author of the Month for the next following months yet, the winners will be given one year to choose!

Easy, simple and you get a free book!

Head on over and help Twisted Kingdom Celebrate!

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

That's The Way The Cookie Crumbles


About a month ago, MM confronted the kids about sneaking cookies out of the pantry. Apparently he'd found a couple of empty boxes of Girl Scout cookies hidden behind some other stuff and told the kids, "You can't have cookies without permission!"

Then last week, MM found yet more empty cookie boxes in the pantry. He told the kids again, "Stay out of the cookies!"

Then on Saturday we went to his house to hang out. We went hiking in the afternoon and when we got home, MM told the kids, "No cookies without permission. I mean it. You aren't allowed to have cookies unless you ask first." The kids said, "Ok, MM."

Before we went to bed, MM set a trap. He put an opened bag of cookies in the pantry, after counting how many were missing from it. Then he rubbed his hands together and snickered. I said, "Baby, what are you up to?" He just laughed, all evil like.

So, Sunday morning we get up and the first thing MM did was went to the pantry. Sure enough, there were two cookies missing. The kids were sitting at the table eating breakfast and MM confronted them.

MM: Did you two eat the cookies?
The Girl: NO!
Little Man: Yes you did!
TG: No I didn't!
LM: Yes you did. We both did!
MM: TG, did you?
*silence*
MM: TG, did you eat a cookie?
TG: *nods head*
LM: We both did, MM.
MM: Ok, that's what I thought.

MM opens the back door and lets the dogs in. Then he says, "Ok, kids, you need to apologize to the dogs for eating their cookies."

Oh.Hell.No.

Yeah, they were dog treats that looked like human cookies. WTF? I had to leave the room so I wouldn't start laughing, but MM said the kids were really grossed out, until he told them that he, too, had eaten one of the cookies "Just to see what it tasted like".

Can you believe that? He actually fed my children dog treats. Well, and he ate a dog treat himself. Who does that?

Sadly, I doubt the kids learned their lesson from this. Probably they'll still get into the cookies. But it was fun while it lasted, right?

Monday, March 12, 2007

Stolen Laziness

Yes, I'm feeling rather lazy again. I had a fairly busy weekend and my brain isn't quite functional yet. Does the time change screw everyone up this much, or is it just me?

Anyway, I've seen this around quite a bit and decided to do it myself.

Go to popculturemadness.com, click on the decade you turned 18, find the actual year you turned 18 and copy the top songs for that year and paste.

Then bold the ones you liked, strikeout the ones you hated and italicize the ones about which you were neutral. The ones you’ve never heard will stay unformatted.

1997's Greatest Hits

1. Barbie Girl - Aqua
2. ESPN Presents Jock Jams - Various Artists
3. Wannabe - Spice Girls
4. Tubthumping - Chumbawamba I liked this one for a minute, but man did it get old quick!
5. To The Moon and Back - Savage Garden
6. You Make Me Wanna - Usher
7. I Like It Like That - Blackout All-Stars
8. Hard To Say I'm Sorry - Az Yet
9. Crash Into Me - Dave Matthews Band
10. It's Your Love - Tim McGraw & Faith Hill
11. Let Me Clear My Throat - DJ Kool Ehem, ehem, ehem HOT DAMN! lol
12. Butterfly Kisses - Bob Carlisle
13. How Do I Live - LeAnn Rimes
14. Da' Dip - Freak Nasty
15. Fly - Sugar Ray
16. Missing You - Puff Daddy & Faith Evans
17. 2 Become 1 - Spice Girls
18. MMMBop - Hanson
19. Fly Like An Eagle - Seal
20. Show Me Love - Robyn

So, what about you? In love with the music you officially became an adult to? Personally, while I enjoyed the music from the 80's and 90's, I find myself enjoying more classic stuff. Classic rock from the 60's and 70's, big band era hits, swing. I can totally do without the 80's techno stuff, though. ;)

Friday, March 09, 2007

The Little Things

I was down with a migraine yesterday. I could feel it coming on as early as last week Friday, but it just exploded night before last. I seriously hate these. I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on anyone. Other Migraine sufferers out there, I'm so sorry!

I called my boss in the morning to ask if he'd mind if I came in late. I told him, "I just can't drive right now." He said not to worry about it and if I didn't feel better not to bother coming in.

Later in the morning when it became clear this wasn't going to lessen, I called him back again and told him, "I'm not feeling any better, I don't think I'm going to make it." He said, "That's alright, feel better." I said, "I'm so sorry." and he said, "Holly, it's fine. You've been working your ass off. If you need a day, take it."

Am I the only one who feels totally guilty every time I have to take a day off? It doesn't matter what the circumstances are, I just feel horrible. *sigh*

My dad picked my kids up for me from school yesterday so I wouldn't have to. When I get a migraine the pain is blinding, but the aftermath is almost worse. I call it a Migraine Hangover. Basically? I feel like I drank too much the night before. My brain is fuzzy and I shake uncontrollably. Not to mention how stick to my stomach I become. It's almost like my body is in shock from the pain. I'm always sluggish and just..sort of out of touch. If that makes any sense.

Anyway, the pain had lessened by the time the kids got home, so I decided to go to the grocery store. Our cupboards were seriously empty and I didn't even have milk or cereal for breakfast. Plus, I wasn't up to cooking anything for dinner, so a drive-thru seemed the best choice.

My dad asked if he could take Little Man home so I wouldn't to deal with both kids. I immediately agreed and thanked him profusely. Ever tried to take 2 kids to the grocery store? Yeah, it's not pretty.

The thing is, I way overdid it going to the store. I have to drive 20 minutes to get to the store and by the time I got there I was shaking and my head was pounding again. Honestly, I knew better than to go in the first place, but remember what I said about being a single mom? I didn't really have much choice.

I got the basics and loaded them into the car, then headed home. The Girl, bless her heart, talked non-stop from the second we stepped foot out the door until long after we got home. Never in my life have I met a child who likes to talk as much as she does. I tried to focus on what she was saying, but it was too hard. Finally, after we'd put the groceries away, I told her, "Baby girl, I love you to death, but my head really, really hurts. Can you please be quiet for me?" She thought about it for a minute and then said, "I'm sorry, mom. I'll go play on the computer." I didn't hear a word from her after that. You don't know what an amazing feat that was, either. The girl can't be quiet, it's just not possible for her. At least five times I saw her turn to me, ready to say something, and then turn away when she remembered.

Around 8:00, MM called to ask if I was coming over. I told him it wasn't likely (I usually spend Thursday nights at his house) because I wasn't feeling well. Since I hadn't spoken to him all day, he didn't know I hadn't gone in to work or that my migraine was so bad. At first he was upset when I told him I wouldn't be coming, but once I explained the situation, he was very concerned. "Do you need anything?" he asked. Just sleep, I told him. At that point I still needed to pick Little Man up from my parents house. I told MM, "I can't drive just yet. I need to get Little Man soon, though." He said, "Well, what time does he need to be picked up by?" I said, "I don't think it really matters to my parents, but I need him home by 9:30 for bedtime." He said, "Well I have about 45 minutes left here, and then I can pick him up on my way home. That way you don't have to drive." I told him to call me on his way home and if I didn't have LM at that point I'd take him up on his offer.

After I hung up with him I called my mom to let her know I was back from the store and not feeling so hot, but that if I couldn't make it myself MM would pick Little Man up on his way to work. She said, "Let me see if I have clothes for him. If I do he can just stay here and I'll take him to school in the morning." She did and so he stayed there.

Just before I went to bed I checked my email. There were several from Dylan and the other SF girls, along with a few IM's I didn't receive. "Holly, where are you? We haven't heard from you all day, we miss you!" And a message on MySpace from Dylan, "Don't disappear from the emails again, dammit! I'm worried about you!" and a voice mail from Isabel, "I'm worried about you, I haven't heard from you all day."

Do you see? It's the little things. Sometimes I forget that there are people I can lean on. People who want to help me. I'm so used to doing it on my own, so used to knowing I'm all there is for my children, that I forget it's ok to ask for help when I need. And yesterday? I didn't even have to ask. How amazing is that?

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

The "N" Word (A Three Part Post)

***Today's story comes to us courtesy of MM***

Part One

Last week MM was sent out on a call to a residence (an apartment complex, I believe) because someone had reported an argument in the parking lot. MM and another deputy responded.

As it turns out, a couple of black teenager girls were hanging out in the parking lot, tossing around the "N" word. A boy who lived in the apartment closest to the parking lot came outside and kind of hung around near them. I assume they weren't paying attention to him, because they kept saying the "N" word.

Eventually, the boy repeated it. I'm not sure if he called one of them a nigger, or just said it in passing, but the teenagers took offense and yelled at him for it. (Naturally this all came out after MM and the other deputy spent quite a bit of time trying to find out what caused the argument)

The mother of the young boy - who was white, btw - came out to see what was happening and got angry with the girls for yelling at her son. As a mother, I can understand this. No one but me (and a few other select people) are allowed to yell at my children. Chastising them for doing something wrong when not in my presence? Yes. But to just outright yell at them? Hell no.

The girls were upset that the white boy had called them a derogatory name. Which, normally I would understand.


Side Note: It sort of pisses me off, but I do understand. I mean, I don't mind when a black person calls me "White girl" or "Whitey" (in a joking manner only, not as an insult) so why should they care if I refer to them (again, in a joking, un-insulting manner - of course, this only applies to people I'm friends with. I would take offense if some stranger called me that, and I'm sure some strange black person off the street would as well) by something they themselves say?

On the other hand, I understand. I suppose I see it like this: I can say whatever I want about my mother, because well, she's my mother. It's my birthright to say what I want about her (although, naturally, this doesn't apply to MY children..lol), but no one else is allowed to say anything negative about her (Devil Woman comments aside). :End Side Note

But the thing is, this white boy was 5. As in, 5-years-old. And according to what MM said, only used the "N" word because he'd heard the older girls using it (which the girls admitted later). In this case, the little boy never should have been yelled at. It wasn't meant as a racial slur, but it was just a little boy repeating what he's heard other people saying. All children do that.

Part Two

I don't use the "N" word. I don't mean just as a racial slur, but in a casual way, either. I might say, "Bitch, please!" but I wouldn't say, "Nigga, Please!". Partially because I think nigger is a dirty word and partially, I suppose, because it's so taboo in society.

I'd like to say two things about it, though.

First, I don't think it should be used as a term of endearment by black people. It's a derogatory term, period. Why would you want to be referred to as such? Or why would you refer to someone you care about in that manner? Especially when it's black people themselves who have such issues with the word. Can we say double standard? And you know, double standards piss me off.

Second, I don't think a nigger is defined by his skin color, but by his actions. There are niggers of every race, ethnicity and gender the world over. In my experience, a nigger is someone who is a lazy, greedy, piece of shit who cares for no one but himself/herself. I would consider The Crackhead to be a nigger. And he's a good ol' white boy from Texas. But I don't care that he's white. His actions define him as...a nigger.

Now I suppose that double standard will come in to play again and people will tell me I can't say that because I'm a white girl and I don't know what I'm talking about. Hey, if it's ok for Chris Rock, it's ok for me. And might I just say, if more people thought like I did the world would be a much better place. Well, it would for me, at any rate. :P

Oh, but wait. I found this out clause on another blog. Looks like I'm ok saying the "N" word today.

Part Three

So, when MM was telling me the story from above, we were out hiking with the kids (It was Sunday). They were walking ahead of us quite a ways and I didn't think they could hear us. I was wrong.

The Girl turns around and says, "Mom, why is that a bad word? There a country called Nigger." I said, "No there isn't. Do you mean Nigeria?" She said, "Yes there is mom! It's on Little Man's map" (when we redecorated the kids' rooms for Christmas I got LM a world map for his wall, which lists all the countries). I said, "Honey, I think you're confused. You can show me when we get home."

She huffed at me and said fine.

But by the time we got home, I'd forgotten about it. I did a few things that needed to be done and then we headed to MM's for the night (he bribed me with dinner and Take the Cake ice cream. Have you tried that ice cream yet? Let me just say..YUM!!!)

But on Monday after school the kids were playing in Little Man's room and when I walked by The Girl said, "See mom, right there! I told you there was a country called Nigger!"

I walked in to check it out and couldn't help but laugh. She was referring to Niger, a country in Africa. I said, "Baby, that's Niger, not Nigger. Nigger is spelled with 3 g's."

"Oh," she replied, "I guess that makes sense. I just couldn't figure out why a country was a bad word."

Oh, to be a child again.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

For Isabel: MM Entices Me

MM isn't a jealous kind of guy. I mean, sure, if I was constantly hanging all over some other dude, he'd probably have issues, but just on a daily basis? Not a jealous bone in his body.

Well, until we went to Vegas in November.

I guess something about seeing me with naked men surrounding (and pawing) me woke up MM's jealously gene. After the strip club, we went to Margaritaville for a bit. While we were there, we passed the cameras around, so we could all look at the stripper pictures. Somehow, MM ended up with one. I think it might have been Isabel's. The pics on there were pretty incriminating. (you saw the one and were pretty scandalized, right? Now imagine you're MM...)

On the way up to our hotel room afterwards, MM kind of laughed to himself. I said, "What's funny?" but he just shook his head and wouldn't answer. The next morning he kind of did that laugh thing again. I said, "What??"

After some poking and prodding he finally admitted he was...jealous. Yep, my laid back, sweet, unassuming man was jealous of a bunch of strippers. Isn't that cute? He said, "It's not that I don't trust you. It's just weird, really. I never get jealous. But something about seeing them all touching you, well...."

Awwww.

So, what did he do about it?

We got home from Vegas without further incident and went on about our lives. I went home with my kids and MM stayed at his house. But the next time I slept over, as we were getting ready to take our nightly showers, MM started stripping...like, stripping, stripping. Not just getting naked.

He pulled his shirt off and started gyrating his hips, and wiggled his butt around, and turned in a circle. But..well, he wasn't being overly sexy about it. Just kind of...silly. Then he gets completely naked and starts wiggling his..ehem...around.

Huh.

I laughed and said, "Babe, what are you doing?" He said, "Nothing" and danced his way into the shower. By this time I was rollin, because seriously, MM can be sexy as hell when he wants, but there was nothing sexy about his clown act.

Finally the truth comes out. MM says, "I'm just enticing you to stay home." The poor guy figured he better do something to keep me home at night and away from the strip club.

So now, every night that I stay over at his house, he treats me to my own private striptease.

The freak.

But I have stayed home.....And we don't have to tell him it's because I'm not really down with the strip club scene, do we?

Monday, March 05, 2007

Inspire Me

Things in Blogland seem to have slowed down recently, which I think is good because I've hit a creative wall lately and have no idea what to post. But it's also a bad thing, because I can't go trolling my favorite sites looking for inspiration.

So, instead, I'm asking all of you to inspire me. Basically, I'm asking you to tell me what you'd like to read about. If you're familiar at all with my blog, you know I talk about anything and everything here. From family to sex to life to celebs.

So, give me some topics. Help me out of this funk I'm in, will you?

Something in the news recently catch your eye? Feel like you just can't live without more MM stories or another episode in Tales of the Devil Woman? I'm letting you dictate what I blog about for the next little while..so now's your chance.

It would be much appreciated.

Friday, March 02, 2007

It's a Red Letter Day....

You know why? Because 28 years ago today, Isabel was born. I have to tell you, I haven't ever met a more evil wonderful person in my life. If she was a man, I'd even go so far as to say that she's my soulmate.

And you know what's even better? Not matter what happens, or how many years go by, she'll always, always..yes, always, be....

OLDER THAN ME!!!!!

To help her celebrate..here's a few people I know she'll want to spend time with.

Edward is yours for the day, sweetums. ENJOY!







HAPPY BIRTHDAY ISABEL!!!!!

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Out of the Mouths of Babes...

I don't have time for a real post today, sorry. But here's something to amuse you until I can update for real.

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like
sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the
chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10 (I bet I wouldn't like his dad very much)

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry.
God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're
stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by
then.
-- Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the
same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each
other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets
them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers
and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7 (Watch out boys, this girl is going to grow up to have some issues)

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with
that.
- - Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them
and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone
to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is........
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump
truck.
-- Ricky, age 10

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