Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Y'all Are So Good, It's Bad, An Outback Update and A Shout Out

If you check my sidebar, you'll see I have a ton of blogs listed as ones I stalk. Whether it be a daily thing, weekly, monthly, whatever, I've been blessed enough to find some amazing blogs out there.

The problem is, y'all are just too good. I find that lately, my days are busier and I have less and less time to play online. What does that mean for you? It means I don't have time to visit all of my favorite blogs. I WANT to visit you. I love reading about your daily adventures. Unfortunately, I just don't have time.

Naturally I'm blaming this on you, my fellow bloggers. Why? Because you're so good, I start having withdrawals if I can't visit you. And lately, I haven't been able to visit! UGH! Just know I'm thinking about you and wishing I could visit. And try to be a little less entertaining, will you? It would make me feel ever so much better about not seeing your updates. :P

On another note:

MM finally agreed to go to Outback. Why? Because we told him that's where Daphne wanted to go. You see, MM has a crush on Daph. I'm not sure when it developed, but it's there. She's been having some man trouble recently and MM said, "Honey, I know at least 50 guys who'd give up their left nut for her." I rolled my eyes and then he said, "And if I come home without my left nut don't ask questions, ok?"

Yeah, whatever. I'll show you what it's like to have no left nut. Jerk.

Anywho, because me and Iz are evil, we devised a plan so that I could get Outback. We'd tell MM that Daph is still pretty upset over her man issues and that she needs comfort food. And her comfort food? Why, Outback of course.

So, I called MM last week and told him that Daph wanted to have dinner with us. He said that was awesome. Then I said, "She wants to go to Outback" in the most casual way possible. His response? A full 30 seconds of silence. Then, "Are Iz and Joey going to be in town?" I said, "Are you serious??" and he laughed and said, "No, I'm just kidding." But he was still hesitant. I could hear it in his voice.

When I told Isabel about our impending dinner, she rubbed it in to Joey. He said, "Fine, he can go without us, but he can't have a Bloomin' Onion or the dessert." He said the taste would forever be tainted if MM had it without him. *I know you can't see it, but this is me..rolling my eyes*

I told MM what Joey said but he just shrugged it off.

Last night was our date with Daph. We agreed to meet at 6:00, but I got off at 5 so MM and I headed over early. We get a table and sit down and MM tells the waitress, "Well have the Bloomin Onion." I kind of gasped and he looked at me, all defiant like. The he said....

"Joey who?"


I said, "Honey!" And he went off about how if it was really important Joey never would have cheated in the first place and blah, blah, blah. I just shook my head.

Anyway, after dinner we went to Borders then headed home. MM dropped me off at my car and I called Isabel to tell her what went down. We were both laughing because, well, it's funny. But poor Joey's feelers were hurt. Is said that after we got off the phone Joey crawled into bed and cried himself to sleep.

Awwww! Poor Joey. Do you think he's learned his lesson? MM says that Outback is now tainted. He said we'll have to start going to Claim Jumper when Is and Joey come to town, because Outback will never be the same.


One last thing:

I have a new stalker. My very bestest friend sniffed out my blog. Everyone, welcome Andrea. :) She was my very first friend when I moved to South Dakota in the 4th grade, and we've been best friends ever since. Hi Drew-Baby! Love you.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Rock-N-Roll Dreams Come Through....

I know I've told you before how eclectic my music tastes are. I like pretty much everything. Opera, jazz, classical, classic rock, hard rock, heavy metal, big band era, rap. Everything from Etta James to Frank Sinatra to Eric Clapton to Nine-Inch-Nails to Snoop Dogg.

But I have to tell you, one of my favorite all time artists is...Meat Loaf. Yes, you read that right, Meat Loaf. I realize that most of you have probably heard of him, but I know there's a certain stigma attached to his name, and not many of you probably listen to him. Which is terrible. You're missing out on one of the most amazing vocalists of all time. His lyrics are amazing, and his voice very powerful.

Last night he was playing at one of the casinos here in town and my boss gave me tickets. The show was just flat out amazing. I couldn't believe how awesome he sounded. The new singer he hired for the female lead vocalists is amazing, too. Her name is Aspen Miller and you can check her out here. She has a truly amazing voice and her stage presence was fabulous.

Now, the older generation probably remembers him for songs like Bat Out of Hell and Two Out of Three Ain't Bad. Not to mention the Rocky Horror Picture Show. The younger generation probably remembers him for I'd Do Anything For Love (but I Won't Do That).

But if you've never bothered to listen to any of his other songs, then you've been depriving yourself. I would have to say he's the king of power ballads. If you listen to his lyrics, you'll understand what I mean. Let's take a look at some of them, shall we?

Probably the most popular song he's ever recorded is Two Out of Three Ain't Bad, which was on his second album, Bat Out of Hell. Two Out of Three Ain't Bad starts off with a powerful statement. One I think most - if not all - of us have dealt with at some point. Whether we were on the giving or receiving end, we understand.

And all I can do is keep on telling you
I want you
I need you
But there ain't no way
I'm ever gonna love you
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad

It's a beautiful ballad, bittersweet and touching. If you're paying attention, you'll also realize that 95% of his songs tell a story. Most songs do, really, but I think Meat Loaf does a much more amazing job of it than most.

But I think he surpassed it with the amazing ballad Objects in the Rearview Mirror May Appear Closer Than They Are, which you can find on his second best selling album, Bat Out of Hell II: Back In To Hell. Basically, this song represents life, and how hard it is to let go of your past. The things that happen to us in life shape the people we become.

And though the nightmares should be over,
some of the terrors are still intact
I'll hear that ugly, coarse, and violent voice,
and then he grabs me from behind, and then he pulls me back

But it was long ago, and it was far away
Oh God, it seems so very far,
and if life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car

And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
They are

We can't escape our pasts, we can only learn from them and move on. But there are times when we look back and realize, well, the past seems closer than it really is.

Even though many of his songs contain deep lyrics, there's also a lot of humor involved. Take Paradise By The Dashboard Lights, for example. The basis of the song is a young couple making out in the front seat of a car on a hot summer night while they were both seventeen. He makes it to first base, rounds second, passes third and just when he thinks he'll make it all the way home she stops him.

Stop right there
I gotta know right now
Before we go any further

Do you love me
Will you love me forever
Do you need me
Will you make me so happy
For the rest of my life
Will you take me away
And will you make me your wife

His response?

Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
And I'll give you an answer in the morning

But what makes this song truly memorable (and one of my all time favorites) is the ending. Finally, after they go back and forth awhile, he says:

I couldn't take it any longer
Lord I was crazed
And when the feeling came upon me
Like a tidal wave
I started swearing to my god
And on my mother's grave
That I would love you to the end of time
I swore I would love you to the end of time

And then what happens? Well, what always happens in situations like that...

So now I'm praying for the end of time
To hurry up and arrive
'Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you
I don't think that I can really survive
I'll never break my promise or forget my vow
But God only knows what I can do right now
I'm praying for the end of time
So I can end my time with you

Ouch, that's gotta hurt. Great, right?

There's a lot of truth to his lyrics, too. Take Rock And Roll Dreams Come Through. He's basically saying that no matter what you're going through, no matter what life throws you, you can always put the headphones on and escape with music. How true is that? How many times have you turned on the radio and had the song currently playing match your mood exactly?

Remember everything that I told you, and I'm telling you again that it's true
You're never alone, 'cause you can put on the 'phones,
and let the drummer tell your heart what to do

Keep on believing, and you'll discover baby

There's always something magic
There's always something new
And when you really really need it the most, that's when rock and roll dreams come through
The beat is yours for ever
The beat is always true
And when you really really need it the most, that's when rock and roll dreams come through,
for you

(I even found the video starring Angelina Jolie..I know, I know, you love me.)

Another amazing song.

Another of his most popular songs comes to us from Bat Out of Hell II: Back In To Hell called I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That).

It has recently come to my attention that many people don't understand the song. They don't understand what he means when he says:

Anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that

To understand the song, you have to pay close attention to the lyrics. In the first verse he talks about how he'd do anything for love. Anything, except forget the way she feels right now:

And I would do anything for love
I'd run right into hell and back
I would do anything for love
I'd never lie to you and that's a fact
But I'll never forget the way you feel right now,
Oh no, no way
And I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that

See what I mean? He'd run into hell for love, and he'd never lie for love, but he'll never forget the way you feel right now. He'll do anything for love, but he won't do that. The best part of the song (in my opinion) comes at the end, however, when a female takes over the vocals. She asks him, What will you really do for love?

Will you raise me up? will you help me down?
Will you get me right out of this godforsaken town?
Will you make it all a little less cold?

I can do that
I can do that

Will you hold me sacred? Will you hold me tight?
Can you colourise my life, I'm so sick of black and white?
Can you make it all a little less old?

I can do that
Oh no, I can do that

Will you make me some magic with your own two hands?
Will you build and emerald city with these grains of sand?
Can you give me something I can take home?

I can do that
I can do that

Will you cater to every fantasy I got?
Will you hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot?
Will you take me places I've never known?

I can do that
Oh no, I can do that

After a while you'll forget everything
It was a brief interlude and a midsummer night's fling
And you'll see that it's time to move on

I won't do that
I won't do that

I know the territory, I've been around
It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down
Sooner or later you'll be screwing around

I won't do that
No, I won't do that

Don't we all want that? Crave that? A man so in love he'd be willing to do whatever it took, as long as it didn't hurt us? *sigh*

I'm sure by now you're probably sick of hearing about Meat Loaf, so I'll wrap this up. Before I do, though, I have to share with you an amazing song that pretty much sums up life. Life Is a Lemon and I Want My Money Back!

It's always something
There's always something going wrong
That's the only guarantee, that's what this is all about

It's a never ending attack
Ev'rything's a lie and that's a fact
Life is a lemon and I want my money back

And all the morons
And all the stooges with their coins
They're the ones who make the rules, it's not a game it's just a rout

There's desperation
There's desperation in the air
It leaves a stain on all your clothes and no detergent gets it out

And we're always slipping through the cracks
Then the movie's over, fade to black
Life is a lemon and I want my money back

Amen, Brother! But that's not the best part of the song. The best part comes towards the middle. They start asking, but what about love and marriage and family, etc.? And he always answers...(the last line is my favorite)

What about love?
It's defective! It's always breaking in half

What about sex?
It's defective! It's never built to really last

What about your family?
It's defective! All the batteries are shot

What about your friends?
It's defective! All the parts are out of stock

What about hope?
It's defective! It's corroded and decayed

What about faith?
It's defective! It's tattered and it's frayed

What about you gods?
They're defective! They forgot the warranty

What about your town?
It's defective! It's a dead-end street to me

What about your school?
It's defective! It's a pack of useless lies

What about your work?
It's defective! It's a crock and then you die

What about your childhood?
It's defective! It's dead and buried in the past

What about your future?
It's defective! And you can shove it up your ass

So, there you go. You've been educated. Go forth and download some amazing songs! You won't be sorry, I promise.

Oh, I suppose I should warn you, though. There's really no such thing as "short" Meat Loaf song. For the most part, I'm fine with that, because his instrumentals are just as amazing as his lyrics, but sometimes it just goes on, and on, and on, and on and...on. Keep that in mind.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Ok, See, The Thing Is....

Anna Nicole Smith was nothing but a dirty whore. An expensive dirty whore, but a dirty whore nonetheless. Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to mention that she was also a drug addict. Ok, just so we're clear:

Anna Nicole Smith was nothing but a drugged out crack whore.

There, I said it. Can we move on now?

I find it more than ridiculous that she's getting more attention than any other issue in the world right now. Do I feel horrible for her child? Yes, absolutely. Regardless of the many sins of her mother, that child is innocent and shouldn't have to suffer at all.

But why is there so much attention on Anna Nicole?

Once again, can we please get over it?


One more thing...

That stupid ass idiot judge should be shot. He CRIED??????


Thursday, February 22, 2007

Poor MM is in Denial...

Isabel has family that lives about an hour away from me. So a couple times a year, her and Joey drive down to visit them. The last few times they were in town, we met up with them at Outback Steakhouse. The first time, several other people joined us, but the most recent time, it was just Me, MM, Joey and Isabel. We had a great time, just laughing and joking and what-not.

I remember that MM and Joey ordered a Bloomin' Onion and shared it. Me and Izzy drank Wallabee Darned's, which MM and Joey swore were too fruity for them, but they still drank ours. MM and Joey also shared desert. This big chocolate mountain cake (or something, I can't remember what it's called).

Anyway, about a month after they're last visit, MM said, "When are Joey and Iz coming back to visit again?" I said, "Honey, I'm sure it will be awhile. They were just here." He was quiet a minute and then he said, "But..I want Outback." I said, "MM, we can go without them, you know!" but he just shook his head. "It wouldn't be the same. Who would I share my Bloomin' Onion with? Who would I share my dessert with?"

What? I'm chopped liver? But still, I thought it was cute.

I told Iz about it and we laughed.


A few months later I called Iz (just to chat or whatever) and her and Joey were at Outback. I teased her about it, telling her it was wrong they went without us, but mostly I was just joking.

But then, I told MM I wanted to go to Outback. He said we couldn't go. "Not without Joey."

I laughed about it at the time, but I'm not laughing anymore. Know why? Because he was serious! He really won't go to Outback without Joey.

I said, "You're kidding, right? They go all the time without us!" He said, "No they don't. Joey wouldn't do that to me."

Yes, he sure would.

Then a couple weeks ago MM and I were planning a night out with some people he works with. At the last minute, all but one of them cancelled. We were supposed to eat at PF Changs, but since there were only 3 of us we decided to go somewhere else. We were driving by Outback and I said, "We should go there, honey." and he said, "We can't." I thought he meant we couldn't because we'd already decided on TGIFriday's, but no, he meant because of the Joey thing. I said, "Honey, this has to stop. Joey goes without you!" He said, "He does not. I know he wouldn't. I don't believe you." Seriously, people, he sounded like a damn five-year-old!

I said, "Honey. They were just there the other day. I called Iz and she said it was Joey's idea!" He just ignored me.

So the next day, I had to run to the grocery store and I called Iz on my way. Guess where she was? Yeah, Outback. I said, "That is SO WRONG! I can't believe you'd go without us! Poor MM! He'll be heartbroken."

Iz says, "No, no, don't tell him! It's not my fault! Joey wanted to come. We had to get some gift certs anyway, so we just got it to go. It doesn't count if we get it to go!" I said, "Yes it does. MM is going to be so upset about this!" We went back and forth for awhile and the Iz started begging me not to tell him. "Don't tell him, Holly, you'll only hurt his feelings! We don't need to upset him over nothing. Really, don't tell him." Reluctantly I agreed. Then Iz threw Joey under the bus. She started telling him, "You upset MM. Poor MM. He thinks you're staying true to him, but you're not. You're so wrong!"


So then Iz emails me today. I guess Joey was telling her last night that they need to come to Southern Cali. He said, "We need to go to Southern Cali. I want to hang out with MM and Holly." I told her, "Yeah, you need to come, because I want OUTBACK DAMMIT!" She said, "Yeah, me too." But you know what? It's only been a few weeks since she ate there...and it's been a freakin year for me! Stupid Iz.

But you know, I feel sorry for MM. The poor guy is in denial. He thinks Joey is staying true to him, and not going to Outback without us, but the truth is, Joey does what he wants, with absolutely no regard for poor MM's tender feelings.

I'm telling you, with friends like them, me and MM don't need enemies!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Movies: Bridge to Terabithia

When I was younger, my best gal pal and I discovered this book. I can't remember now which one of us found it first, but we both read and loved it. If you haven't read it yourself, you're missing out.

Anyway, based on the previews, and my knowledge of how Hollywood has always worked in the past, I was on the fence about seeing this. Until I read an online review that said it stayed true to the book.

Fifth grader Jesse Aaron's hopes of becoming the fastest runner in his class are dashed when new girl Leslie Burke outruns everybody, including him. However, Jess and Leslie soon begin a friendship, and discover a magical kingdom in the forest, where the two of them reign together as king and queen.

Now, don't let that little blurb fool you. This isn't another Narnia. Set in a small rural town, Bridge to Terabithia follows the friendship of 5th graders Jess Aarons and Leslie Burke. Jesse is a poor farmer's son, whose father is emotionally cut off from him. We never really understand why that is, but book or movie, you can see it.

Leslie's parents are both writers, and though it's clear they love her, when they're in the middle of writing they tend to forget she exists.

I think what makes this movie so unforgettable is the strong characterizations. We all went to grade school, so we all have our own demons from that era. The big bullies, the fear of rejection, the wanting to be the best. But the true message comes through when Jesse and Leslie visit Terabithia.

For those of you not in the know, Terabithia is a kingdom Leslie created (she obviously inherited some of her parents' story making abilities) for her and Jesse to escape to. To reach this mythical land, they must cross a small creek by way of a swinging rope. Once there, they imagine giant trolls who look suspiciously like the bully at school, vultures who want to peck their eyes out, and many other creatures who are all controlled by the "Dark Lord".

Leslie uses Terabithia as a place for her imagination to run wild, and to escape the loneliness she feels at home while her parents are working. Jesse uses it to hide from the pressures of school and the emotional void from his father.

You have to understand that this isn't an action flick. It's loaded with emotional drama and the focus of the story is Leslie and Jesse. We watch as their friendship grows and they become more confident because of each other. They're finally able to face down the school bully, and Jesse even works up the nerve to talk to the music teacher, whom he's had a crush on for-ev-er.

Again, I want to stress, this movie stays true to the book, so it's very sad. If you haven't read the book, be prepared for tears. If you have read the book, you'll know what I mean. Even MM was teary-eyed (isn't that just the sweetest thing?? LOL).

Overall, this is a movie that forces us to think. To remember that the imagination is a terrible thing to waste. Think how dull our lives would be without it. It also reminds us what a truly amazing gift friendship is.

Fabulous movie. I highly recommend seeing it.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Lazy, Thy Name is Holly

Which is why I'm doing this thing I stole from CSR instead of typing up a real blog. lol

Name: Holly
Birth date: July 17
Current Location: Southern Cali
Eye Color: Hazel (they change color depending on my mood or what I'm wearing)
Hair Color: Brownish blonde
Righty or Lefty: Righty
Zodiac Sign: Cancer the Crab (What? Like you couldn't tell??)

Your heritage: Italian, German, White Trash
Your fears: the "S" word.
Your weakness: Cheesecake
Your perfect pizza: Meat Lovers, thin crust
SupremeGoal you’d like to achieve: Meh. I'm not really into goals. lol

Your thoughts first waking up: I don't want to get up. Then, COFFEE!
Your best physical feature: My eyes.
Your bedtime: Bedtime? What's that? I don't sleep, remember?
Your most missed memory: Huh. No idea. I'm kind of sorry about some of the things I remember. Like the Naked Sprinkler thing. *shudder*

Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi, always!
McDonald’s or Burger King: White Castle
Single or group dates: Depends on my mood.
Adidas or Nike: Nike
Lipton Tea or Nestea: Lipton
Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla
Cappuccino or coffee: Coffee

Smoke: Yes.
Cuss: Yup, as often as possible. It sucks being the adult sometimes, though.
Take a shower: Yes, at least twice a day.
Have a crush: MM
Think you’ve been in love: I thought I was once, but now I realize I was just young and stupid. I didn't know until now...
Like(d) school: Hated it. Cheerleading was fun, though.
Believe in yourself: For a long time, no. But now? Hell yes.
Think you’re a health freak: Hell no.

Drank alcohol: Yep
Gone to the mall: Just today, as a matter of fact.
Been on stage: Yep
Eaten Sushi: Love Sushi.
Been dumped: Yes.
Gone skating: Yep, I lived at the rink when I was younger. LOL
Dyed your hair: Not for a few years, but before that? All the time.

Played a stripping game: Yep
Gotten beaten up: Well, I've been in a couple fights, but I always did the beating.
Changed who you were to fit in: When I was younger. Thank goodness I grew out of that.

Where do you want to retire: NOT MONTANA!!!!!!

Best eye color: Green
Best hair color: Blonde
Short or long hair: Meh, depends on the girl.

Best eye color: Blueish Green
Best hair color: Blonde ( I used to day dark, but MM is HOT!)
Short or long hair: Short. Long hair on guys is yucky!


1 MINUTE AGO: Checking my email
1 HOUR AGO: Working
1 WEEK AGO: Working
1 YEAR AGO: Getting to know MM

I LOVE: My children
I FEEL: tired as hell
I HATE: "S" words
I HIDE: Er...nothing?
I MISS: Green. It's so freaking BROWN here! UGH
I NEED: to go home and read the new JD Robb book.

Friday, February 16, 2007

One More Quiz Post...

I'm hella tired today. It's a certain time of the month and I just want to go home and curl up on the couch. Why should YOU care about this, you're wondering. Well, because that means I'm too lazy/bitchy/tired to write up something interesting today. And we all know how much you love it when I say interesting things. What? I didn't quite...Oh, right. I'm not that interesting. Well, PRETEND DAMMIT!


Anyway...just some things to amuse you until I'm ready to post real stuff again. And hey, BONUS! You get to find out more stuff about me! LUCKY YOU!

Ok, shutting up now...

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

You Should Be A Cancer

What's good about you: you're incredibly kind, caring, and generous

What's bad about you: you can be too moody and impossible to understand

In love: you enjoy wining and dining the object of your affection

In friendship, you're: likely to depend on other friends for emotional support

Your ideal job: historian, marine biologist, or religious figure

Your sense of fashion: you dress to match your mood

You like to pig out on: classic home cooked meals, like mac and cheese

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent.
Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art.

You would make an excellent:

Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor
Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer
Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer
Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor

The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

You Are 42% Open

You are a fairly open person, but you also like to maintain your privacy.
You definitely will tell all (okay, almost all) to your closest friends...
But strangers and acquaintances only get a peek into your life.

Your Attitude is Better than 80% of the Population

You've got a winner attitude. You're always optimistic and cheery. Your personality will get you far in life.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

What Am I Going To Do With Her??

Isabel is at it again.

Part Two


Welcome to the World, Baby-Cakes

I'm an Aunt again....sort of. My Evil Cousin had her baby yesterday. A beautiful baby girl. She weighed in at 6lbs, 4oz and is 18 inches long. I haven't seen pics yet, but she promised me some today.

Being that she's my cousin, I'm not officially an aunt, but I get the honorary title. Plus, EC is more like my sister than my cousin.

I'm so happy for them. Of course, I'll be a lot happier when I get to see them, but that goes without saying.


Dude, I can't wait until she's older and I can tell her and her sister all of my cousin's secrets. *snicker*

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

MM Saves the Day....Again

I'm a pretty strict mom. We have certain rules in our house that have to be obeyed no matter what. For example: Table manners are huge. One of my biggest pet peeves is talking with food in your mouth, or chewing with your mouth open. It gets on my very last nerve. I'm very anal about it and constantly ride my children.

Another thing: Last minute stuff. My children are not allowed to tell me at 9:00 at night that they need snacks for school the next morning. I understand that there will be exceptions to this, but for the most part, that's the rule. My children are very aware of this. They've missed out on quite a few things because they failed to inform me with enough notice. It might seem kind of harsh, but I want them to grow up to be responsible, and not wait until the last minute to accomplish things.

So last night at about 6:00 the kids tell me, "Mom, we need to go to the store and get Valentines for school tomorrow." I told them no.

Now, before you start accusing me of being a terrible mother, you have to understand that I asked them last week if they needed Valentines for school and they told me no. They said they weren't allowed to bring them. Their school is pretty strict about things like that, so I wasn't surprised. They don't have school dances or parties or whatever. They aren't even allowed to bring sweets to school. If there's a Birthday we have to provide healthy treats, no cupcakes or birthday cake or whatever. That was on Friday. I asked them again on Sunday because we went to the store. Again they said no, they didn't need them.

You can imagine my surprise then, when they told me last night they did in fact need Valentines. Evidently they'd received a note on Friday with a list of their classmates, but they'd failed to mention it. Their teachers reminded them yesterday.

Now, there's another thing. The town I live in is kind of in the middle of nowhere. It's about fifteen miles to the nearest store. We have a convenient store a few blocks from my house, and a small market, but no major grocery stores or department stores. Basically, I would have had to have drive thirty miles round trip to buy them Valentines. Sorry, but that wasn't going to happen.

They KNEW on Friday they needed some, but they told me they didn't. Had the school changed it's mind over the weekend and decided to allow the exchange of Valentines, I would have understood that. But I found a note in The Girl's backpack dated Friday with the info for the exchange. I don't know what they were thinking, why they didn't tell me when I asked, but whatever, the point was, they didn't and I wasn't going to the store last minute. They kind of pouted for a minute, then they said, "Fine, we'll make some." Great. That's the perfect solution. Right?


MM called me at the tail end of the discussion. I tell him the salient points and end with, "I'm not going to the store." He says, "Honey, that's mean!"

I said: "What? They know the rules and it isn't like I'm sending them without anything. They're going to make them."

He was quiet for a minute then he said, "You know if you were here I'd go buy them some."

I said, "Well, I'm not, so they can make them."

We went on to discuss it and MM kept insisting I was mean and the kids were gonna get made fun of. Finally he says, "If you come over, I'll go them them Valentines." *sigh* By this time I was starting to feel really guilty. Then I went to check on the kids and that decided it. We were going to MM's.

Know why?

They were writing out Valentines on yellow sticky notes. Uh, yeah. Not exactly what I had in mind. I thought they'd gotten the craft box out of the cupboard and were making them out of construction paper. But no, not my overly creative children. They were writing "Happy Valentines Day" on yellow stickies and folding them in half.

I told MM, "Ok, we'll be there in twenty minutes."

We decided what we'd have for dinner (meatloaf and mashed potatoes) and MM said he'd get what he didn't have at the store (veggies and potatoes), including the Valentines. Fine, great, whatever.

I guess I'm not winning Mother of the Year this year, either.

We got to MM's while he was still at the store and I started putting the meatloaf together. He got home about fifteen minutes later and started unpacking the groceries. He shows me the Valentines he got (Bratz for The Girl and Spiderman for Little Man) and then he hides them behind his lunchbox on the counter.

The Girl saw hers right away and tried to grab them, but MM told her to put them back until she has my permission. I finished getting the meatloaf ready and started peeling the potatoes and MM said, "Can they start filling them out now?" I said sure so he sent them into the kitchen. Little Man was confused. "We don't have Valentines" he said. MM said, "Sure you do. They're on the counter."

LM got all kinds of excited and him and The Girl set everything up on the dining room table. They pulled everything out of the boxes and starting looking through them. Little Man said, "MM, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!" and ran over and hugged him. The Girl followed suit.

I was kind of watching them, feeling like a total ass, and MM says, "Well..." then he looked over at me and winked. I smiled at him and went back to peeling, still feeling like a total jerk. They were so excited! I really am a mean mom! He continued, "You really need to thank your mom. She said she wouldn't come over tonight unless I went the store and got you guys Valentines. I wouldn't have thought of it without her."

Holy shit.

The kids screamed out a chorus of THANK YOU MOM and my eyes welled up. I said, "Well, MM went and got them. So really, you should thank him." The Girl says, with no small amount of attitude, "Yeah, but only because you told him to. You're the best, mom."

I just...well, even now I don't know what to say. MM is my hero. He's just...amazing. Wasn't that the most wonderful thing?

I told him later, "Honey, you're my hero." and I meant it.

Of course, not one to let an opportunity slide, he says, "So, you'll have to do something big for me now, huh?" I said, "Yeah, I owe you an oral report." He busted out laughing.

So later, we're getting ready for bed and I was so damn tired I could barely keep my eyes open. I climbed up into bed and he says, "You can't go to sleep yet!" and I said, "Why not? I'm wiped out." He said, "Because, I still need to take my contacts out and brush my teeth. Then we need to snuggle and talk. And you can tell me I'm your hero again."


I did tell him again. Twice. And it's true. He is my hero.

He totally saved the day...again.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Dear John

Friday, February 09, 2007

Tagged by Merlin: 10 Weird Things About Me

Haven't I already done this once or twice?? But ok, since Merlin demands it...

The rules are: Once you have been tagged you cant be re-tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end, you chose 10 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" on their profile and tell them to read your latest blog.

1. I'm brutally honest. If you don't want to hear the truth, don't ask. Because I will tell you what's really going on.

2. I'm obsessed with the movie Gone with the Wind. I watch it at least once a month. IMO, it's the most quotable movie ever made.

3. I own more than 150 pairs of shoes.

4. I save all my emails. Every.Single.One. The SF girls make fun of me for this, until they need me to find something for them. :P

5. I still hate my job, but I'm afraid to leave it. It's comfortable and stable.

6. Two years ago I lost 30 lbs. 15 in one week.

7. I used to be slightly anorexic. When I was a freshman in high school I weighed 78 lbs, and still thought I was fat.

8. I love to debate. And sometimes, just because, I'll choose to debate the opposing side of an argument. I like playing devils advocate.

9. Before I met MM, at least once a week I considered packing everything up and moving to some small town in Texas. I even went so far as to find a job and real estate. I was going to do it. Sometimes I still want to, but he's more important now.

10. I hate Valentines Day. I mean, I flat out hate it. When I tell MM - DON'T GET ME ANYTHING, I mean it.

I am tagging :

Beta Fishy
Dance Chica

And anyone else who wasn't already tagged but would like to do this. Be sure to stop by and let me know when it's done! :)

Thursday, February 08, 2007


Anna Nicole Smith died today. MM just called and he said,

"Anna Nicole Smith's boobs exploded today and she died"

Yeah, that's not what happened, but she is dead.


Isabel is Naughty...


Wednesday, February 07, 2007


Top 5 most recent Google searches that led people to my blog:

1) How to make myself orgasm

2) Two women making each other orgasm

3) Animals eating underwear crotch (this I understand..see here)

4) Hot Men (see here)

5) Should I go over to MM's house (no, this was NOT me!)

What does that say about my blog, I wonder? And those first two? I have NO IDEA! Yikes.

Stupid MM

I hate it when MM undermines me.

The thing is, MM is a boy. Boys do stupid things. Then us girls get mad at them. It's totally justified, right? Plus, I have some doubts about the whole "M" word thing. You know? MM, he knows all of this. He understands that I have doubts and he understands that he's a boy and I get mad at him for doing stupid stuff. It's known and accepted.

But..well, stupid MM does things that totally undermine my very natural fears of the "M" word, and my very reasonable anger at his penis-driven stupidity. *sigh*

I just hate it when he does that.

The other day me and the kids were hanging out at his house. Little Man got a "cop kit" for Christmas, that included a cop uniform, play handcuffs, a police tape that says "Police Line, Do Not Cross", among other things.

So, him and The Girl are running around the living room, playing with his "cop" stuff. MM walked into the room and was watching them for a minute, then he said, "You guys want to play cops and robbers?" The kids screamed, "YES!" and MM rushed over and got one of his uniform shirts on, then he brought me one, too. For the next half hour or so, he "arrested" the kids.

Then he said, "Hey do you guys want to play Cops and Firemen?" The kids got overly excited again and MM, grinning like a kid at Christmas, rushed into his spare room to get his fireman's uniform.

Side Note: Before MM went to the police academy, he thought he might like to be a fireman, like his father. After awhile he changed his mind and did the cop thing instead, but he still has his old uniform. It's totally hot, too. I have to tell you, while he was getting all dressed up to play with the kids I was thinking, "STRIPTEASE", but that's another post. :End Side Note

We all got to wear the helmet and then him and the kids played "Cops and Firemen". It was so freaking adorable. MM got all into, too, calling out codes and whatnot.

See, this is what I mean. I get all irritated at him for doing some stupid boy thing, or my tummy gets queasy thinking about the "M" word, and then he does something like that.

Stupid MM.

Monday, February 05, 2007

The World is a Seriously Fucked Up Place....

*Warning, this post is not for the faint of heart.*

Back in October, two teenagers were killed in a hit and run accident on the highway near my house. I've never heard the "real" story of what happened, but rumor has it that the two teens were dating and were staying a friend's house for the evening. They had an argument and one of them (the girl, I'm told) ran from the house. The other (the boy) followed her. The ended up having an argument on the side of the highway, and one of them ran out into the road. They continued to argue, and then reports from witnesses state that the couple moved to embrace each other, as if they'd made up.

They were just going to put their arms around each other when a mini-van came around the corner and stuck the couple. The van kept driving.

There was one witness to the accident and she called the police. The body of the young man was discovered on the side of the road, but they couldn't find the body of the girl.

The next morning as DW and I were on our way to work, we passed a van on the side of the road. I was in the passenger seat. I glanced out the window as we went by and I saw...a pajama clad foot hanging off the side of the roof of the van. I immediately shook it off. I knew I hadn't seen right. There's no way that was possible, right? There was a woman standing next to the van with a Highway Patrol officer and I figured the van was hers. I knew if there'd been an accident the body wouldn't be on top of the car, so I dismissed it.

I later found out that what I had seen was indeed a body of top of a car. The missing girl from the hit and run accident? Yes, that was her. The fucking tweaked out bastard who'd hit the couple drove more than 7 miles with her on top of his car, before pulling over and fleeing. SEVEN FUCKING MILES!

2 says later they found the man who'd been driving in a laundromat near LA, some 150 miles from the scene of the accident. He was arrested and had been awaiting trial.

I chose not to blog about this when it happened because I was really torn up about it. I mean, bad shit happens all the time. I know this. But I didn't want to share this with everyone else.

I later found out that the girl who was killed lived a block away from me, and her little sister goes to school with The Girl. The family has a memorial banner up on the fence surrounding their house, and last week was her birthday. She would have been 17.

Still, I probably wouldn't have blogged about it, but I heard on the news this morning that the man who'd hit them was sentenced. At first, when I heard how many years he got, I thought for sure I'd heard wrong. But then I checked the newspaper this morning and sure enough, I'd heard correctly.

The motherfucker who killed two innocent teenagers got two years. That's it. Just two years. I don't understand how this happened. Like I said, I know bad shit happens every day, but reports were that he'd been drinking and/or was on drugs. I don't know if that was confirmed or not, but for a man to run down two teenagers in the street, then drive 7 miles with the body of one on his car and then ditch it and disappear...well, two years just doesn't seem like enough, does it?

I honestly don't understand it.

You can read the article here.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

More James Stuff....The Sucker

Do y'all remember James and his Psycho Girlfriend? Let me recap shortly for those who aren't familiar.

James is one of MM's good friends. They work together. Back in August, James starting dating a girl that I affectionately (or not so affectionately) refer to here in my blog as The Psycho Girlfriend. You see, a month after they started dating, TPG thought she was pregnant. It turns out she wasn't, which of course, we all knew.

Then, TPG got in a terrible fight with her mother and moved in with James when said mother kicked her out. From what I understand, it was supposed to be a temporary situation, but (as we all assumed) she's still there.

Now, not too long after she moved in (well, and even before) she started making noises about James buying her things. Things like a new Beamer and a house. Not just any house, either, but the biggest house he could find. Why? Because she wanted ten kids. Yes, you read that right, ten freaking kids. At this point the woman in me was screaming GET OUT JAMES, GET OUT NOW, but the evil side I inherited from the Devil Woman was thinking "It's too late now you stupid sucker, and it sucks to be you". Naturally he stuck.

That's where I left off, I think. So let me update you.

MM and I had dinner with James and The Psycho Girlfriend about three months ago. She was telling us then (me and MM that is) that she'd gone to the OB/GYN to get a prescription for birth control. I was a little skeptical about this, however, because the month prior to our dinner together TPG had been to the doctor 8 different times for a pregnancy test. Yes, EIGHT FREAKING TIMES! (At this point MM said he was going to pick them up a bulk thing of pregnancy tests from Costco, as a little house warming gift) She took home tests but swore they weren't accurate.

Anyway, she finally went on birth control, but MM told me that after about 2 weeks (I think it was closer to ten days, but we'll give her the benefit of the doubt and say 2 weeks) she went off of it, because it was "jacking up her body" and she just couldn't take it anymore. Yeah, right.

So last night MM is at work and I'm hanging out at his house. I was watching t.v. and just being kind of lazy. The phone rings. I figured it was MM calling to say hi, so I didn't even look at the caller ID, I just answered. It was James.

He said, "Hey, you're just the person I wanted to talk to!" Turns out James is ready to buy a house. He's found one he likes but he wants to know what he qualifies for, so he asked for my work number so he can come in next week and get qualified. I asked him where the house was and what-not, just making small talk, then I told him to call me next week. Then I had one of those "DUH" moments where I realize what's really going on and I said, "Uh, are you buying this house on your own?"

He was quiet for a second and then said, "Uh, no, TPG will probably buy it with me, so we'll have to come in on Wednesday instead of Tuesday." Trying one last time to throw the idiot a life preserver I said, "You know, if you want to see if you qualify on your own you can come in by yourself on Tuesday. Then, if you can't, we can bring her in."

I'm thinking: Come on dude, she's hosing you! Don't buy a house with her! Save yourself!

But then he said, "Well, we have to get something pretty quick because, well, she's 8 weeks pregnant."

Aw, hell. You know, by my calculations that means she got pregnant approximately 1 week after she "went off" her birth control. The cynical side of me doubts she was ever even taking it, but whatever. The damage is done now.

I told James, "Wow. Well, uh...." and this is where I choked, because I was going to say 'Are congratulations in order, or not?' but I caught myself just in time and said, "Congratulations. That's...good." Then I said, "You know, MM didn't tell me that" and he said, "Well, we just found out on Friday, so I haven't had a chance to tell him yet." Which saved a life, because I was about to kill MM for not telling me.

I told him to call the office next week to make an appointment and then I hung up and called MM. When I told him she was pregnant he started choking and squeaked, "I can't talk about this right now, if I start laughing in the middle of dispatch they'll want to know why" and then he hung up. *snicker*

Then, I called Isabel. When the "James is an IDIOT" and "What dumbass" parts of the conversation were done Isabel said, "I say they're married within three months." I said, "Nope, I give them a month."

Isabel figures TPG is the kind of girl who will want a big, splashy wedding, so she won't rush right off to Vegas or something.

I say since the mom is Jehovah's Witness she'll insist on a quick wedding so TPG can avoid as much "shame" as possible.

We bet a Wallabee Darned from Outback on it. Anyone else want to get it on the pool?

I told MM last night, "Honey, everyday you save the lives of strangers. So why couldn't you save the life of your good friend? You just let him commit suicide and that is so wrong!" MM just laughed.

Poor James the Sucker, life is over now.

Edited to add: You know, I can laugh at James about this, but it really pisses me off when I see a girl like her get her man like that. It's just wrong!!

Friday, February 02, 2007


*The following post WILL contain TMI, so you may want to move along. Oh, and if you're a member of my family, I'd prefer if you just exit screen now, k? Thanks!*

I haven't had sex in over a week. AND I WANT IT!!!!


Good lord.

The thing is, until I met MM I didn't really even like sex. Apparently what they say about doing it with the right person is true, eh? And you know what? After I left the Rat Bastard, I went three years without. Not just without sex, mind you, but without an orgasm, period. I'm not really a DIY kind of girl. Now, though, I want it so often me and BOB (that would be battery operated boyfriend for those of you not in the know) are becoming bestest friends. It's ridiculous.

I stayed at MM's last night, partly because I wanted to watch Grey's Anatomy and Men In Trees, but mostly because I wanted sex. Then he got held up at work and didn't get home til 4 this morning. Know what that means for me? NO NOOKIE!

Side Note: Did I remember to tell ya'll that in all of MM's greatness, he was selected for this new special task force thingo the department is putting together? It's like an anti-crime, anti-robbery thing. So now his schedule has changed again. Which is good AND bad. He went back to having Sunday, Monday, Tuesday off, which bites because we saw each other more when he had Thursday, Friday, Saturday off, but the good news is he went back to day shift, so I'll see more of him during the week. YAY..and NAY. lol :End Side Note

MM says I'm a closet Nympho. He says that the saying "Lady in the street but a freak in the bed" was meant just for me. Maybe it's true and maybe it's not, but damn, I WANT SEX!

The other night I was on the phone with MM and he was going off about Bella and his 2 Stupid Dogs and not getting enough sleep and stupid people at work and I said, "Aww, poor baby. Know what would make it all better? A blowjob!" He was quiet for a second and then he said, "Why would you say something like that to me when I'm at work? That's messed up!"

I said, "But honey, you talk dirty to me all the time! Like that's fair?"
He said, "Yeah, but that's different. It effects me more."
I said, "Babe, of the two of us, who needs sex more?"
He was quiet a minute and then said, "You."

Yeah, that's what I thought.

What's a girl gotta do to get some around here? MM, I'm looking at you here!

Edited to add a video that suits my mood today:

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