Wednesday, December 27, 2006

A Heartwarming Story for the Holidays!

I promise a real blog soon, but in the meantime, here's something to warm your hearts during the Holiday Season! :)

This will warm your heart, especially if you have lost faith in human

This letter was sent to the principal's office after an elementary
school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. An old lady had
received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize, and was writing to
say thank you. This story is a credit to all human kind.

Dear Faculty and Students,

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior
citizens' luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at an Assisted Home for
the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it's
nice to know someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness
to an old forgotten lady. My roommate is 95 and always had her own
radio. Before I received this one, she would never let me listen to
hers, even when she was napping. The other day, her radio fell off the
night stand and broke into a lot of little pieces. It was awful and she
was in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I said fuck

Thank you for that opportunity.



Monday, December 25, 2006

Merry Christmas!!!!

We're back from Vegas with nothing exciting to report. No brawls, no insults traded, no nothing. Oh well, there's always next time, right? lol

Anyway, I don't have much to report today, except that I'm still sick and I took a pill that's making me loopy (if this post makes no sense later, I blame it all on the pills...the pills made me do it!), so I'll just say a quick MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! and hope all is well.

My wish for you is a heart full of love, a life full of laughter and a day of unparalleled joy, even if it's just found in the bathroom with a flask while your family kills each other over the egg nog.



Thursday, December 21, 2006

Today's the day!

I start my vacation today. In just under an hour I'll be out of here! WOOOFREAKINHOOOO! No work until NEXT YEAR (it sounds sooo great when you say it that way, doesn't it?).

Today is also the day of the big, dreaded meet up. I'm going to be coming to all of you if I need bail money, so be on the lookout for an email or a phone call. And have your checkbooks ready. LOL (yes, I'm taking my camera and if anything goes down I plan on getting a video of it. Then I'm going to sell it on eBay for obscene amounts of money, so I'll be able to pay y'all back...tee hee)

In other news, we're having an End of the Year Giveaway over at SF. Go check it out and enter, since the prizes are pretty great. :)

Oh, and just my luck, I'm sick. Can you believe that? The day before I go on vacation I get sick. And you know what else? It snowed in Vegas! SNOWED! Right before I need to go there, when I'm SICK, it snows! How horrible is that?? Just in case y'all have been hiding under a rock for the last year or so, I HATE THE SNOW! It's real pretty to look at on the T.V. or in a book, but otherwise, I'm straight without it. Blech.

Any who, HAPPY HOLIDAYS and I'll see y'all in a few days (hopefully with a couple of videos to sell).



Tuesday, December 19, 2006

I Love Isabel

Yep, that's right, I LOVE ISABEL! Do you know why? Because she...


Isn't she the best? She said she was going to sign in to her account and there was something about switching, so she signed in to mine to see if she could do it AND SHE DID!!!

I love you, Isabel! You're my hero. You're the bomb DOT com. You're the bestest blogger assistant a girl could ever have.

Tee Hee.



The Christmas Spirit

Sarah has a very thought-provoking blog up today. I started to type this story out as a comment to her post, but instead I'm going to post it here, and asked the same question she did.

When The Girl was about 4 I took her to Walmart to do some Christmas shopping. She had $10 saved up and she wanted to use it to buy herself something. As we were walking into the store, I noticed a homeless man sitting on the ground beside the doors with a sign next to him that said, "Hungry".

The girl noticed him, too, and she tugged on my hand before I could walk through the doors. I looked down at her and she said, "Just a minute, mom" and she walked over and squatted down next to the man. She put her hand on his arm and said, "When I get hungry, my mom gives me food. Where's your mom?" and he said, "I haven't seen my mom in a long time."

She said, "That's sad." and reached over and gave him a hug. Then she reached into her pocket and took out her $10 and handed it to him. She said, "It will be ok. You can have my money so you can eat"

He looked into her face and tears started flowing down his cheeks, and my heart swelled. I was so proud of her.

She stood up and walked over to me and took my hand, and she said, "I think he'll be ok now, mom." and I said, "I'm sure he will, baby" I heard something behind me and I turned around and there were at least 20 people standing there, all of them with tears on their cheeks. And as we watched, every single one of them walked over and handed him money.

It was one of the most touching scenes I've ever witnessed, all because a four-year-old child noticed someone was hungry.

We could be cynical, those of us who are adults, and say, "Well, he should get a job if he wants to eat" or "Why should I support him when he refuses to support himself?" or "He's only going to buy booze with it" but instead, I'm going to think that maybe it helped a hungry man eat. And maybe a few other people had their eyes opened, too.

Because of her, I try my best to be courteous. To smile at strangers and hold doors. To be a better human.

So I'm asking, just as Sarah did...have you made a difference in someones life lately? Have you done something nice for no reason.. even if it was a stranger? It can be something as measly as letting someone with just a few items in their hand get in front of you and your big ass grocery cart at the store.

Updated: Vacation, Are You Here Yet??

3 years ago, DW and I went to Cancun for Thanksgiving. It was fab. We lazed on the beach, drank too many margaritas and basically just enjoyed the sun and the warm water.

And I haven't had a vacation since.

Oh, I've taken a few days here and there off of work, but I haven't taken more than 2 at a time. So, I decided to take some time off. I'm not going out of town or anything, I'm just staying home, but dang, I'm excited.

I have to take the kids to Vegas on Thursday to meet up with the RB (Yes, I'm still scared!). That's the 21st. I'm working until three that day. And you know when I come back to work? January 2nd.

That's right, bitches, 7.5 days off of work, for a total of 11.5 on vacation. This is me, totally excited. I seriously cannot wait. I'm not going to have children OR work for nearly a week and a half. What will I do with myself you wonder? Absolutely nothing. That's right, I said nothing.

I'm going to lay around and stare at the ceiling. I'm going to read 500 books. I might decide, on a whim, with no pre-planning, to drive to the beach. I might just decide to not leave my house. Maybe I'll just stay in bed all day.

Did I mention that I'm excited? it Thursday yet?

Updated to add:

CindyS brought up something that I forgot to mention. Even though I'm starting my vacation and the kids will be gone, we're still doing a big thing for Christmas. Actually, I'm pretty freaked out about it.

MM's mom, sister, grandparents and niece are driving up for Christmas Eve and I'm cooking for all of them plus my family. If everyone shows, there will be a total of 18 people. YIKES! We get back from Vegas on Friday and I plan on spending all day Saturday cooking. I'm scurred, people. This will be the first time our collective families meet and I have no idea what to expect. It could be anything from Friday Night Fights to A Christmas Story. LOL We shall see.

Why do I have a feeling I'll get at least one new Episode in Tales of the Devil Woman (see sidebar) out of this? *sigh*

Monday, December 18, 2006

A Letter To Beta/Blogger

Dear Beta/Blogger,

Stop teasing me.

I swear, if I see this message one more time, I refuse to be held responsible for my actions.

Could not switch you to the new Blogger

Thanks for your interest in the new Blogger in beta! Unfortunately, we cannot switch your Blogger account at this time, because one or more of your blogs cannot be moved. Please see our help article for more information.

Back to your Dashboard


Holly (who is about to go postal on your asses)

Friday, December 15, 2006

I'm Outta Here...

My boss is the super coolest and instead of a traditional Christmas party, he's taking us to Laughlin, NV for the weekend. We're leaving in just a bit, so y'all have a great weekend. I'll be back on Sunday, hopefully with lots of pictures and a few good stories. :)

See ya'll on Sunday (or maybe Monday, depending on how the weekend

Thursday, December 14, 2006

What Holly and Isabel Really Think.....

Isabel: You know what. I have to have the closet doors closed cause I believe there are monsters in there. Hello Monsters Inc. But the only other thing I could think of was how I believe Tupac is still alive.

Holly: What about the movie Little Monsters? They came from under the bed....

Isabel: I remember that movie. You know, I was never really scared of the monsters under the bed. I guess we had all our toys under the bed so... I don't know.

How can Tupac have THAT many songs that were hidden or unfinished. Seriously!!!! He's alive and well somewhere. And I'm not a Tupac fan. I didn't care for much of his music, so I'm not a Tupac fanatic. But still, it's retarded how he has new songs coming out.

Holly: Yeah, him and Elvis are chillin on some private island together.

Isabel: See, Elvis I don't know about. I'm still iffy.

Oh and I believe someone murdered Marilyn Monroe.

Holly: Yeah, it's all a conspiracy.

Isabel: Yeah. The Kennedy Brothers, oh yeah. Someone wanted them both dead. Not sure who yet.

I think it was Santa who wanted them dead. That's my theory.


Holly: What? It's true. Santa isn't really the big cheery guy who wants to give out presents. He's an evil dude who has his finger in every pie. He puts homing devices in each present he leaves under the tree, so he can keep tabs on everyone in the world. And The Kennedy's found out, so he had to get rid of them.

Isabel: I know you are mocking me. And that's ok.

You wait. You just wait.

Holly: No, really, that's how it is. I'm not mocking you.

Isabel: mmmm hmmmm. When you were typing that all out, were you snickering?

Holly: I wasn't snickering the WHOLE time...well, ok, yes I was. LOL

Isabel: Yeah, you are mocking me. I knew it. I could totally see you snickering. Butthead

Holly: See, he's evil!

Isabel: You crack head.

Holly: Well, I was just saying....

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Izzy Tagged Me....

First tag:

6 Weird Things About Me

1) I used to love pickles. I'd eat them all the time, just by themselves, or I'd pile a burger with them. Yum, dill pickles. Except, I don't like them anymore. About 3 months ago I took a bite of a burger and got a mouth full of pickles and started gagging, and now just the thought of eating one makes me sick to my stomach.
2) I make this dip with canned beanless chili and cream cheese, and sometimes I'll eat it as a meal. Just the dip, with either chips or crackers. And when the kid ask if they can have it, too, I tell them no, they have to eat a regular meal first. Being the adult rocks, yeah?
3) Like Izzy, I can't stand my bed to be unmade. Well, I can't get into a bed that's not made, anyway. So most of the time I make my bed just before I get into it for the night.
4) Sometimes, I freak myself out at night before bed by reading a scary book, or imaging scary things, and I have to sleep with my bedside lamp on.
5) I know just about every curse word in Italian, but since I think it would be a bad example for my kids if I cursed at them in a foreign language, I say, "ora mangiare l'alimento" instead when I'm really angry. Which translates to "Eat food now". Just in case they repeat it to someone who knows the language.
6) I have over one hundred pairs of shoes, but I hate wearing them. I love trying them on, and looking at them, and matching them with the perfect outfit, but 5 minutes after I put them on I'm ready to take them off again. For this reason, I wear a lot of sandals (even in the winter) and slip on clogs. Then I don't have to wear them if I don't want to.

The rules: List six weird things about you. Then choose six people to tag and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says you are tagged in their comments

I tag: I think maybe everyone has done this, but on the off chance that they haven't...Daniela, Beta Fishy, Devonna, CindyS, Chantal and Dance Chica. Or if YOU haven't been tagged and want to do this, I tag YOU, too. Yes, YOU!

Favorite Christmas Songs

My 5 favorite Christmas songs are:

1)Carol of the Bells
2)Santa Baby
3)Silent Night
4)The Little Drummer Boy
5)Oh Come All Ye Faithfull

The rules: List your 5 favorite Christmas songs. Then choose five people to tag and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says you are tagged in their comments!

Just tagging the same as above for this. :)

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Rat Bastard Related Stuff

Last week, my baby girl turned 10. Can you believe it? It's terribly depressing. I can't believe that it's been 10 years since I saw her for the first time. When I found out I was preggers, it wasn't the happiest time for me. I wasn't even sure if I'd keep her, since I was young and not sure I could properly take care of her. But that's a story for another day.

As the months of my pregnancy progressed, I decided to find out the sex of my unborn child. A boy, the ultrasound said. A boy, the heartbeat indicated. A boy, said the old women who saw how I was carrying. What did I have? A girl.

I went into labor at 8:30ish on a Wednesday evening and after 11 grueling hours of labor, I had my sweet baby at 7:29 a.m. I was so tired from being awake all night I was falling asleep between pushes. Yes, they literally had to wake me up to push. Good times were NOT had by all.

I finally manage to push her out and the nurse says, "And it's a....?" and my doctor replies, "A girl" and I squeeze my mothers hand very tightly, pull her towards me and whisper, "I think they got the wrong baby, mom" she laughed tearfully and assured me all was well.

Isn't it amazing, and a bit sad, that it's been 10 years since that happened? And I still remember it like it was yesterday. Happy Birthday, baby girl. I love you more than life. Remember, I chose you. And without you my world would be dark and dreary.

Any who, as it was her birthday, my ex-MIL sent a box for her. As always, she mailed it to my office. It was addressed to The Girl, C/O me. Except, once again, she did this. Lady, puhleez. It doesn't bother me in the least, so why don't you just stop? The last time I checked you're almost 60. Old enough to grow out of playing high school games, no?

In other news, the Rat Bastard is still playing the concerned father. He calls me at least twice a week to check on the kids (i.e. their progress at school, personal friendships, general happiness, etc) and he calls them directly at least twice a week as well. He's almost acting like...a father. Still, I'm skeptical. In the past he's pulled it together long enough to have me start believing he's actually going to put them first, and then something happens and he goes back to being the way he was. Basically, I'm reserving judgment, but for the kids' sake, I really hope this change is permanent.

Naturally MM is taking credit for the RB's 180. MM says, "He's acting like this because he feels threatened by me". Sure, it's possible, but who knows for sure. If MM wants to take the credit for it, though, ok. Sure.

Speaking of MM and the RB....the time for their first meet up is quickly approaching. As the date draws near I find myself both nervous and excited. Will MM punch the RB in the head? Will the RB make an inappropriate comment in front of the children? Will I manage to catch it ALL on video, or will I miss the most important things? See, the worries here are endless.

On the other should be entertaining, right?

That's about it for now. I'm still on hiatus, which takes the pressure off having to blog everyday, but it's my hope that I'll be back up and running soon. ;)


Monday, December 11, 2006

Ok, I think it's better now....

I still can't make the switch to Beta, but I'm pretty sure my template issues are worked out now. I'd appreciate it if y'all would let me know if you can see this post, along with the rest of my blog.

I have to tell you, I'm about sick unto death of Blogger. If they don't get their issues worked out soon, I'm totally going to do....something. Ok, ok, I haven't figured out what yet, but you better believe it'll be good. lol

Any who, just a quick comment would really help.


Friday, December 08, 2006

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes: I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your sister," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an
organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back.

Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.
And clean up any mess that you may make.

Yours Always, MOM...!

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Things That Make You Go: Hmmmmm

Actress Tori Spelling to Write Memoir
Dec 4, 6:20 PM EST

The Associated Press

Tori Spelling has so many sTORIes to tell.

The "Beverly Hills 90210" alumna, who has been spoofing her rich-kid reputation on VH1's "so noTORIous," is working on a memoir to be published in 2008 by Simon Spotlight Entertainment, a division of Simon & Schuster.

This truly baffles me. No, I mean it. I honestly just...don't understand. She's going to do WHAT?

I think this astounded me the most, though.

"We all think we know who Tori Spelling is because she has grown up in the public eye, but her book will give readers a chance to know the real Tori — a funny and resilient young woman with a fascinating story to tell," Jennifer Bergstrom, Vice President and Publisher of Simon Spotlight, said Monday in a statement.

No, honey, you're wrong. We don't think we know her because we watched her grow up in the public eye. We don't even care enough to wonder.

Read entire article here, if you're so inclined.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Let's Revisit a Favorite Oldie....

I'm sure most of you have seen this before, but I couldn't resist. My source for this one? Why, DW, of course....

Friday, December 01, 2006

Advice for the Day

My Darling MM,

Why did I think of you when I saw this?

The Perfect Spy?

I have another stalker, dear readers.

***Side Note: Are you all in love with ActiveMeter now? I knew you would be. It's just too hard to resist the call of that unassuming little website, isn't it? Is there a better feeling, I wonder, than that of being able to stalk the people who stalk you? I think not. End Side Note***

Only this stalker is different. For one, I told him about my blog. I don't believe I gave him the actual address to it, but I did tell him that I had one. For another, I stalked him first. I'm so good like that.

Any who, if you're curious, you can follow the yellow link road, and stalk him, too. Although, I have to tell you, I'm a bit nervous about this stalker. Why? Because he's a close friend of my father's. I wonder if this means I won't be allowed to post stripper pictures or Dildo Videos in the future. Oh, the horror.

Are you wondering why I started stalking him in the first place? Well, naturally I was curious about my favorite surrogate uncle and the kind of content he'd post. This, for example. What's not to love there? But mainly it's because I keep hoping for wild-child stories about my father. I mean, if another surrogate uncle is willing to share stories such as "Mars is green, man" then just think what kind of dirt I can dig up here. (Naturally it doesn't hurt that he said this, either)

Teever, my dear? I've got my eye on you.....

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