Thursday, November 30, 2006

Stuff I've done...and stuff I haven't

I stole this from Dee-baby, but I've seen it around.

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink (Hey, I was a bartender, remember?)
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive ( I wish. I get wet just thinking about it)
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula (OH HELL NO YOU DIDN'T!)
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped (In Florida, it was the single more terrifying experience of my life. I can't wait to do it again)
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg (MM says my feet are like icebergs, does that count?)
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper (more than I wanted to change)
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagneb (Christmas Party 2 years ago, it was SCURRY!)
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can (I do this on a daily basis. What? My kids are alive because I do this, so don't judge)
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking (And you know this mannn!)
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends ( I love you, girls!)
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country (more than once!)
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip (I LOVE road trips!)
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs (and my books, and my cookbooks, AND I color coordinate my closets)
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke (It was scary)
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain (every chance I get..I love the rain)
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken (not yet, at least! MM, I'm looking at you here)
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight (what's D&D?)
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason (but not from MM)
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music (off the radio? of course I did..)
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date (again with the MM)
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship ( didn't go on a cruise, but I did tour the ship)
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children (it's a work in progress)
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking (on a constant basis!)
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about (you don't want to get me started, okaayyy)
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach (OH.HELL.NO.)
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey (Three times)
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (Deer, fish, pheasant)
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

84/150...it could have been worse, right? lol

An Interesting But Not Too Surprising Study



A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that
the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on
where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more
attracted to a man with a spear lodged in his chest and tape over his mouth while
he is on fire.

No further studies are planned

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Still Alive....

And still busy as hell, not to mention extremely un-creative.

The Devil Woman is on vacation this week, so I'm swamped with her stuff as well as mine and with the holiday coming up, well, things are just crazy. But I wanted to thank you all for offering your support while I'm in this funk. You're the best and I feel so blessed to know you all!

The good news is, I'm over my reading slump. I read somewhere around 5 books on Saturday and Sunday. Now, if I can just get myself to do some reviews we'll be in good shape. LOL

Hope all is well and if I don't have a chance to bloghop or post again before then...HAPPY TURKEY DAY ALL! Be sure to count your blessings. I have, and I'm thankful for all of you! :)

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Blogging Blahs

Yes, I have them. Again.

I'm not sure what it is, but I just can't seem to string two sentences together lately. I don't think I'm being conceited when I say I'm fairly good at hammering these out. I mean, I'm not going to win a Pulitzer, but I'm not a terrible writer. Still, I feel like I've come up against a brick wall lately. I'll mean to be amusing and come off sounding bitchy. Or a story that should be touching just turns out a sad waste of time.

I have things to talk about (or write about, as the case may be). Silly things MM has done recently, the rest of our trip to Vegas, the Little Boy Who Won't Go Away, how my mailman is shifty. Certainly nothing that's life or death, or that will attract national media attention, but stuff I want to blog about. And yet, I sit in front of my computer and nothing will come.

So, I'm taking a break. Probably not a long one. I rarely last more than a day or two away from here, but I need a break. Maybe after the weekend, or into next week. Maybe after the holiday. I don't know.

Yes, I'll still be here, but I think instead of coming up with new and interesting things to say I'll just do some Meme's or post some quizzes. Yes, I realize it's rather boring, but at least it will give me some time to get my thoughts in order, and hopefully be able to string a sentence or two together in a fairly intelligent manner. Ok, ok, not necessarily intelligent, but entertaining at least.

I haven't been blog hopping as much as I normally do, either. I'm sorry for that. I've been reading most of your blogs still, I just haven't been commenting. Partially because I haven't really had much to say, and partially because I haven't had time. Taking two days off and then having to play catch up is kicking my butt. I was hoping things would have settled down by now, but you know how that goes, right?

I'm still thinking of you all, though. Sarah updated her blog, which I think is exciting. And Romancelover started a new one. Things are happening and I love it, but I just don't have time to play around right now.

So, until the next time....

Friday, November 17, 2006

Friday In Vegas

So, sometime in the wee hours of Friday morning MM and I headed upstairs to bed. On our way up, he says, "I spent SOOO much money! I should have had you hold onto it for me." I said, "let me know tomorrow" and he said ok. (this will be important for later)

Friday morning we were supposed to have breakfast with Isabel. But Joey's brother showed up so she ditched us. Yes, dear readers, she ditched us. I talked to her at about 8:40 and we agreed to meet downstairs at nine. At 9:05 she calls and says Chris showed up so they weren't going to eat in the hotel afterward. She TRIED to pretend like she was inviting us along, but when I asked her where they were she said the parking garage. Waiting for us, huh? I think not.

Any who, with our breakfast plans broken, MM and I decided to just hit the hotel buffet. It was good, but he was a little queasy (imagine that) so we took our time. Afterwards we headed to Paris to meet up with Daph and Jazz. We decided to ditch the men and do our own thing, so we left them and headed down the strip. We honestly didn't do much, just walked around and did some site seeing. I wanted to check the ticket prices for Zumanity so we made our way down to NYNY.

We'd talked about finding an adult store before we even got to Vegas, so after we checked the ticket prices we decided to see if we could find one. I've been to Vegas a few times, but hadn't ever visited a sex toy store while there, so I told the girls we needed to find a phone book and see what we could find.

There was an information booth outside of NYNY, so I told the girls we'd stop and see if they had a phone book we could use. They were all sorts of embarrassed, but I figured, hell, we'll never see these people again, so what do we care? Right? Right. So I walked up and asked if they had one. There were two gentlemen manning the booth, and older black man and a younger white guy. They said they'd have one inside if we wanted to check and then came the question I knew they'd ask. "What are you looking for?" I said, "An adult store." and they both laughed out loud. "What do you need one of those for? Where are your men?" etc. We kind of laughed about it for a minute and then they told us where to find one. Not being very familiar with the city, we decided to flag down a cab. As we were walking away the one guy yells out, "Be sure to come back and show us what you bought." Ok, buddy, I don't think so. LOL

Unfortunately, we didn't up having time to visit the sex store, anyway, since Iz and I had an appointment at the spa at 2:30 and it was already after 1 by then. We met up with Iz, Adam and Joey instead, then sent the boys on their way so we could get a big Margarita before our massages. Isabel and Adam had already gotten a head start and we could tell Iz was feeling pretty good.

She showed us where her and Adam had gotten their big Margaritas and we pulled up a chair at the bar. We just hung out, taking pictures and laughing. It was wonderful. I'd forgotten how nice it was to have girlfriends to giggle with over nothing. Not to mention torture because they'd had a little too much. *cough*Isabel*cough*

Before long, though, it was time for me and Iz to head to the salon. We had to strip down, which was a little uncomfortable (there's just something about being naked with someone, isn't there?) but we handled it. We took showers and then swaddled up in the robes the spa provides and sat down to wait. Eventually our names were called and we headed back to have our massages. It was fabulous. I highly recommend getting one the next time y'all are there. We did the River Stone Massage, which combines warm oils and hot rocks. It was very relaxing.

Afterwards we headed to the Salon to have our nails done. Our girls were cute. You could tell they were friends, and they shared some of the horror stories of their profession with us. I was pretty grossed out by the time they were done, but they made us laugh, too. They were kind of evil, talking about how they'd say their name was that of a co-worker if someone nasty asked to use them again. It totally reminded me of us. *snicker*

I have to tell you, though, that it wasn't worth the price. My manicure started chipping on Sunday, just 2 days after we had them done. And for just over $100 each, it wasn't worth it. But then again, the time spent with Iz just doing girl stuff was, so it washes out. Especially since MM paid for it. *innocent smile* By the time we were done, it was getting late and Iz had to rush off to get ready for Phantom. I headed up to our room to relax a bit and change for the evening.

While we were doing that, Daph and Jazz did a little more shopping and walking around, and the boys went to The Drive and tested some cars. I'd done that when I was in Vegas for my sister's birthday in April, so I knew what they'd be experiencing. I guess Josh scared the crap out of all of them on the Hummer course, because he wasn't very steady with the driving, but they had fun. MM and Richard met us back at our room and waited while I finished getting ready, regaling me with tales of their adventures alone. They were cute, together, too. MM kept talking about how much money he'd lost the night before and they were joking that a nickel was 5 credits on the penny machine. It was cute.

Just before we left to go meet Daph, I asked MM if he wanted to give me any money to hold for him. He said yes and handed me $200. Now, the purpose of doing that was so he wouldn't gamble it all away, right? So then why, 2 seconds after handing it to me, did he start begging for it back? Alllllll night long, "Just $20 honey. Just give me $20." Uh, NO! "Ok, ok, $10, just $10." Again, no. I said, "I'll give you a dollar" which he wasn't very happy to hear. I'm not kidding when I tell you ALL NIGHT LONG he begged for it back. The other guys started calling me a Nazi. Well, sheesh, he's the one that gave it to me. *insert eye roll here*

I talked to Daph and Jazz on the way up and we agreed to meet after a little bit for dinner. Jazz and Josh were staying at the opposite end of the strip from us, so we decided to go to the Sahara to the buffet. Since we agreed to pick up Daph so they got there way before we did, but it was a nice time. We just ate and joked around with each other.

We took so long eating and such that by the time we were done, so were Iz, Joey and Adam with Phantom. They agreed to head over to the Sahara to meet us. Jazz wanted to change her shoes, so her and I headed to her hotel (which was across the street) to do that while the boys (and Daph) tried out the Virtual Nascar racing. We got back and decided to ride the roller coaster. I love the coaster there. It's called Speed and that's what it's all about. It rocked.

Anyway, by the time we finished that (even after MM harassed me for money, again!) the rest of the gang had arrived. We kind of stood around and that's when we decided to go to...yep, you guessed it:

The Strip Club

Stay Tuned.....

P.S. I'm behind from taking time off last week and with the holiday next week, so be patient with me, k? And I'm being a rebel and not reading through these again, so forgive any mistakes. THANKS!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Vegas, The Chronicles

Yes, dear readers, that's me...well, and Daphne's foot. Does that tell you anything about how our weekend was? LOL

Thursday I picked up the rental car, stopped at home to finish my last minute packing, then went and got MM. We headed out of town about noon and got to Vegas around 3ish. I'd already talked to Jazz a few times by then (she and Josh got to Vegas around 11:30 or so) and we agreed to meet up after MM and I checked in. MM booked us a Spa Suite at The Luxor, which was awesome (pics to follow, I haven't uploaded mine yet) so we took advantage of the oversized shower *ehem* and then went down to grab something to eat and wait for Jazz and Josh to show up.


When they got there we headed down to the bar and got a drink then gambled a little bit. After MM and Josh lost an obscene amount of money in a VERY short period of time playing Roulette, we went back up to our room to drink some more (MM packed his entire liquor cabinet...he was so proud of himself...LOL) and then we went to the airport to meet Daph and Isabel. They're planes came in within about 10 minutes of each other, which was nice.

We headed back to the Luxor so Iz, Joey and Adam (Joey's best friend) could check in. By this time MM was feeling really, really good. He'd been drinking pretty much non-stop since we got to Vegas and he was kind of stumbling and slurring his words. We walked Jazz and Josh out and then got a Starbucks. We told them we'd meet them up in their room, but the way the key cards at the Luxor word, you can only use your own elevator, so we couldn't get up to their room. We ended up having to wait for someone else to get on the elevator to use their room key to go up. This older couple gets on and MM tried to explain to them that we needed them to use their key because ours wouldn't work, but what came out was "Sssfriendsupsssmle". I rolled my eyes at the couple - who were busting up - and patted MM's arm and said, "Shh. It's ok honey. Just stop talking". The couple starts getting out of the elevator, shaking their heads, and he tries again. "ffpmmfr", then he falls back against the wall. Good Lord. The guy says, "It's ok, we understand" and gets off.

So, we get up to their room and I start telling Joey and Adam the story just as MM takes a HUGE gulp of his drink and he busted out laughing and spit it all over Adam. I mean, ALL OVER him. There was Mocha Chip all over his shirt, face, shoes, pants, even on Izzy's shoes. The wall. It was awesome! Turns out, earlier in the day, Adam had done the same thing to Joey, so it was even better. Freakin MM.

After Adam cleaned himself up (and Izzy wiped down her shoes) we headed down to the casino floor and did a bit of gambling. MM was still blitzed, so he was gambling more than he should have been. Earlier in the night Josh had asked MM to make change for a hundred and at some point he stuck the hundred dollar bill in a nickel machine and lost it in a matter of minutes. A nickel machine, people. He didn't even realize it was a hundred. I was disturbed.

I put in a few bucks, but was losing, so I asked MM for a twenty. I said, "I'm losing my money, let's see if I win with yours." He rolled his eyes but gave me a twenty and headed off to find another Roulette table. I popped the twenty in a Wheel Of Fortune machine and cashed out about 20 minutes later with $100. I was feeling pleased with myself until Adam hit 1000 credits on his machine and cashed out with $250. The punk!

That was about it for Thursday night. Stay tuned, there's more to come.....

Mailyn Post #.......

...hmmm, there have been so many I've lost count.

Anyway, this is another post for Mailyn.

I was reading through the comments of some of my older posts just now and every time I posted a new blog, Mailyn commented. She supported me when I wasn't feeling well, laughed at me when I did something stupid, and offered advice when I said I needed it.

This isn't limited to me and my blog, either. Her heart is huge. I've never seen a person with more compassion or willingness to give than Mailyn. If you're hurting, she offers to take the pain. She's always there with a baseball bat or a tissue or whatever you might need. She's simply amazing and I feel very, very blessed to know her.

Mailyn,
Thank you so much for being such a wonderful friend. For taking the time to get to know me and for helping me whenever I need it. I love you.

Today, of all days, I wish you joy, love and really, really, really hot sex. Twice.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!



Come back later and I'll have eye candy pics for you, k?

HUGS!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

I'm Baaaackkk....

Did you miss me? Well, I missed all of you.

I'm tired as hell, but the trip was fabulous. I had a great time and can't wait to tell y'all about it. Unfortunately, it won't be tonight. I'm wiped out. I need good food (that's not from a fast food place or a buffet) and sleep. Then I'll share my whole trip with you.

Let me outline the finer points for you:

1. MM drinks too much.
2. MM gambles too much and gives Holly his money so he won't spend it all. Then begs for it back.
3. We take on the strip club.
4. MM makes Holly cry.
5. We go shopping.
6. We see Zumanity (awesome show! Thanks for the pimp, Mailyn).
7. Holly's feet hurt.
8. We drive home.

No, no tequila for me. Sorry, but there won't be any, "OMG, I TOOK MY CLOTHES OFF IN PUBLIC" stories here. Thank Goodness!

The rest (including pics) will have to wait for another day.

Just wanted to say HI!

Oh, and one more thing....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DYLAN!!!!!!




I love you TONS AND TONS! The trip wasn't the same without you. But we were thinking of you the whole time, we even got you something. :)

HUGS!

Until Tomorrow! ;)

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Vegas, HERE WE COME!!!

Tomorrow, we're off to Vegas, baby! I'm very, every excited. I was there in April to celebrate The Drama Queen's 21st, but this is a trip just for friends. No kids, no family, no work. Just a bunch of couples out to have a good time.

I have to tell you, I've never really liked women. Seriously. We're a bunch of catty, mean spirited bitches. But I've been so very blessed to meet some amazing ones over the last few years. Sure, we have our spats just like any other friend, but we stand with each other and that's an amazing thing.

I have to pick up the rental car tomorrow, and then we're heading out of town. Jazz and her hubby will be there early in the morning, then MM and I will arrive. Later that evening Isabel and Joey and Daphne and Benny will get there. We've got a fun-filled weekend ahead of us and I just can't wait!

I do feel a little sorry for DW, though. I'm leaving my kids with her, which isn't so bad, but I'm also leaving my dog with her and MM is leaving his 2. So, all together she'll have: The Girl, Little Man, The Drama Queen, My Pops and 5 dogs (my 1, MM's 2 and her 2). YIKES. How much you wanna bet I'll have a new Episode in Tales of the Devil Woman to share with you next week? *snicker*

I have lots more I want to tell you, but I just plain ol' don't have time. I'm swamped at work getting last minute stuff together before I leave and then I still have to pack and do last minute stuff. Ugh.

I hope you have a fabulous weekend and I'll see you in four days!

Monday, November 06, 2006

Guardian Angels.....

Isabel blogged about her mother today, and how she's evil. So is mine, but in a different way.

My phone rang a few minutes ago (remember how I told y'all DW suffers from separation anxiety?) and when I answered, DW said, "What are you doing?" I said, "I'm trying not to kill my children" and she kind of laughed and said, "Well, take a break from that and go check your email. It's time you learned something." I said, "Oh, shit, I'm scared" because seriously, this is the Devil Woman we're talking about here, right?

Well, I checked my email and here's what I found....

Daughter I think you are old enough to see what your Guardian Angel looks like and yes he has an older brother (that would be my guardian angel). hehehehehehe!


Yes, dear readers, I got this from my mother. Lord, please save me. I'd be more than happy to be rescued by him...wouldn't you?

The Naked Sprinkler Story...As Promised

We all do things in high school that we aren't proud of later. It's just a fact of life. There's nothing we can do to change it. I was pretty mellow in high school. No, really. I didn't drink, and except for that one unfortunately incident, didn't do drugs. I went out a lot, but I was pretty normal. We'd do things like sneak into the empty houses down the street and play truth or dare.

I was a cheerleader, so I had a lot of practices and games and such, but I still stayed out pretty late whenever possible. I'd do a lot of house parties or trips to the lake, but nothing too serious. Except for this one time....

We were at one of my girlfriends houses having a little get together. I'd say there were probably 15 or 20 people there. We'd been drinking and hanging out, listening to music and what not, when we decided to play truth or dare. Now I have to tell you, I was painfully shy in HS when it came to personal stuff. I didn't like to share my thoughts or feelings with anyone. Dare me to run down the street naked and I'd be all over it, but ask me to reveal my latest crush and I'd clam up and refuse to say a word. That's just how it was.

I suppose it probably didn't help that my friends were brutal. If I said I liked so-and-so, the next day he'd get an anonymous note from one of my "friends" sharing all of my secrets. Yeah, you wouldn't have told either, right?

So, we're at this party and we decide to play Truth or Dare. I NEVER chose truth. I don't care what the dare was, I do it rather than share a secret. I had to do some pretty lame stuff, you know, kiss the guy sitting next to me, or stick my finger in my nose, whatever. But then we get to my friends older brother. Now, I had a little crush on him. Nothing major, but I always thought he was cute. Unbeknownst to me, he liked me, too. Naturally he couldn't say anything, though, because he was four years older than me and his baby sister was my best friend.

But in the way of all things penis since the beginning of time, he wanted to torture me a little, so when it was his turn, he kept urging me to pick truth. I guess he was going to ask me if I liked him, but I was too chicken to agree to a truth, so I chose a Dare. I could tell it irritated him to no end, but he finally agreed to pick a Dare for me.

He thought about it for awhile, and then he got this wicked gleam in his eye. By this time, I'd started really drinking. I'd probably only had a couple of beers, but remember me telling you that Tequila hates me? Well, me and Mr. Jose were having a little get together and he started influencing my decisions.

After a minute or two of silent contemplation, my friend's brother finally said, "Ok, I've got it. I dare you to run around the house naked."

Ugh.

Normally, I would have just laughed in his face, as I slightly recall my friends doing. But with Jose to back me up, I thought, Sure, why the hell not. My friends didn't think this was a good idea, so they talked the brother into letting me keep my t-shirt and panties on. At that point I honestly didn't care. (ahh, to be young and drunk again...good times, good times)

So, I strip my jeans off and sort of stumble through the door, but then I realize that my feet will be unprotected, so I decide to put my boots back on. Now, imagine if you will, a girl with a white t-shirt, blue thong and boots heading out the door. Yeah, not my finest moment.

I stumble out the door, with the entire group of people following behind me, and hit the ground running. I was determined to get this over with as fast as possible. Not only that, but Jose was starting to disagree with my decision to run, and I was feeling a little queasy.

I round the first corner of the house, with the rest of the gang still trailing behind me, laughing like loons when it got much, much worse. That's right, the sprinklers kicked on. To this day, I still don't know if they were on an automatic timer or if someone turned them on purposely. Though it wouldn't surprise me in the least if the latter were true. I'm telling you, my friends were brutal.

In my tequila fogged brain, I somehow convinced myself that it would be better to kick off my shoes and pull my shirt off than to run with them wet. I think it was partly because the t-shirt was white so they'd see all anyway, and partly because Jose said it would be alright. Stupid Jose.

So that's what I did. I pulled my shirt off and threw it on the ground just as I was rounding the second corner, then I kicked off my shoes. By now I'm completely soaked and my panties were starting to slide down, because they were silk and that's what happens when silk gets wet. I think. In any case, I decided those had better come off as well. No, it wasn't pretty, people.

And it gets worse still. Why? Because just as I rounded the third corner, the next-door-neighbor turned his big flood lights on and stepped outside to see what all the noise was about. I'd just rounded the corner when the lights flipped on and it startled me into stopping, so I just stood there, like a deer in the headlights. The guy kind of stepped back, like I'd scared him, too, then he smiled really, really big and ran back inside. It took me a few seconds to get over my shock, and that time cost me.

Why, you ask?

Because I stood there for an additional 10 seconds...which was just long enough for him to run inside and grab his camera. Yes, dear readers, somewhere out there - probably on a website you have to pay for by the minute - there are pictures of a naked, soaking wet, teenaged Holly.

*shudder*

I started screaming at the top of my lungs and my friends started laughing even harder and I finally made it around the last corner and into the house, only to collapse in giggles in the entryway.

After I calmed down again I borrowed some sweats from my girlfriend and we went to bed shortly after. I woke up the next morning beet ass red from embarrassment and stayed that color for a good week. It was humiliating. Naturally my friends thought it was hilarious and shared the story with anyone else who would listen, so when all was said and done I'd been labeled The Streaker. For the next two years, that was my nickname. It was horrible.

Oh, and the guy next door? Well, my friend's brother had an attack of conscience and went over to try and talk the guy into giving up the pictures, but it turns out he was a college student and him and about 7 other guys shared the house, so there was NO WAY IN HELL they were giving up those pictures. I shudder to think where they might be now...or what they did with them after they got developed. *shudder*

So, there you have it, my Naked Sprinkler Story. I hope y'all are happy now that you've shared in my humiliation.

- The Streaker

Friday, November 03, 2006

What is a True Friend?

I was in the middle of writing my Naked Sprinkler Story, as promised, when I noticed a post up on another blog about having true friends. They're the ones that will support you unconditionally, but still give you an honest opinion, even when it might hurt some.

I always try to be a "true" friend. If you ask me if you look pretty in your new shirt and it makes you look like a hag, I'll tell you, it makes you look like a hag. But when it comes down to it, I'll have your back, no matter what. If someone talks shit about one of my friends, I'll be there, sticking up for him/her. If they act like an ass, I'll tell them, you're acting like an ass, but I'll be the first person to defend their stupid actions to other people, because you don't talk shit about my family, and that's what my friends become, family.

It's just like your mother. You may talk shit about your mom, because honestly, that's a birthright, but no one else is allowed to. Right? Well, that's how it is with friends.

I've been very, very blessed to meet some amazing women over the last few years. These are the kinds of friends everyone should have. No matter what, they have my back. They might yell at me for being an idiot, but no matter what, they take care of me. Someone says something bad about me? They're on it. Someone does something mean to me? They've got their baseball bats ready. I'm truly blessed to call them my friends.

But I've also had a few of the "other" types of friends. The ones that will tell me whatever I want to hear to my face, and then stab me in the back the first chance they get. The kind that will talk shit about me, in a not-so-subtle way, on a public forum, but pretend later it wasn't me they were talking about. Or even worse, pretend they don't what I'm referring to when I bring it up. Because I'm stupid?

The thing is, if I have a problem with you, you'll know it. I may choose to keep my silence about some things, but that means I keep my silence PERIOD. I don't talk shit to my friends about you, I just don't say a word. But if it's important enough to me, I'll go directly to the source. Ask anyone who knows me. I have NO problem telling someone that they fucked up. None at all.

So I want to ask, what kind of friend are you? Are you the kind who whispers behind your hand, pretending you care about someone and then hiding when the truth comes out? Are you the type that would have no problem telling your best friend a lie to her face, only to talk shit when she turns her back?

Or are you a true friend? The kind that would stand up for your friend, no matter what. The kind that would come forward and say, "You fucked up. Fix it." But get in the face of someone else who dared to say the same thing, not in a loving "you're my friend and I care about you" way, but in a "you're a fucking idiot" kind of way?

I have to tell you, I'm the type that would stand up for my friend. I might tell her PRIVATELY that I think what she did was stupid, but PUBLICLY, I'd support her, no matter what. Because that's what friends do. We support each other, even in the face of overwhelming odds.

For my true friends: I love you. Thank you so much for supporting me. For standing up for me. For standing in FRONT of me. For having my back. You mean the world to me.

For my other friends: Fuck you. With friends like you, who needs enemies?

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Holly's Series of Unfortunate Events

I'm telling you, Lemony Snicket ain't got nuttin' on me.

Ever had one of those weeks? Well, mine was worse.

For some reason, I haven't been sleeping well lately. I just haven't. I get super tired and go to bed and then...nothing. I just lay there, staring at the ceiling. It sucks. I think I need a vacation. Sugar Daddy, where are you???

Any who, Holly and tired don't do well together. We just don't. Things seem to happen when I'm seriously tired. They're totally out of my control! I SWEAR!

Well, ok, mostly out of my control. *sigh*

On Monday (this was last week) I couldn't see Dylan's blog. The page would only load halfway or I couldn't comment or it would load and I'd write a comment and then the page would wink out before I could post it. It sucked. So, naturally, I emailed her and wanted to know what's up. Grace was having a similar problem, so we ended up in a big discussion. Grace and I accused Dee of banning us from her blog and Dee insists we were just using that as an excuse for why we'd stopped going over. It was kind of funny.

Later in the afternoon I was able to get on her blog and I was all sorts of excited. In her post that day, she mentioned that she put a new song on her blog, but I couldn't hear it. So I emailed her to let her know. She said she'd check it out to see if she could figure out what the problem was.

So I'm sitting here at my desk, and I hear music, but it's kind of far away. I figure Cookie has music playing at her desk, so I kind of lean back in my chair, hoping to catch what the tune is. No luck. I was right in the middle of something, though, so I couldn't get up to see what she was listening to. This went on for a good 2 minutes, and then it dawned on me. I had my headphones plugged in to my speakers, but I wasn't wearing them. So I could hear the music from Dee's blog, but from a distance. Not my brightest moment.

Tuesday I had one of those mornings. I didn't sleep well Monday night, so I was especially tired when I woke up Tuesday morning. I got up late (naturally) and only had time for about a 1/4 cup of coffee before I had to leave for work. Then I forgot my ToGo cup and when I got to work we were out. No coffee + Holly = Scary. Really, it's not good. One of my co-workers graciously offered to go to Starbucks for us, which was awesome. Except 30 minutes after he wrote down what we wanted, he was still standing here in the office, chatting away with everyone. WTF? I.NEED.COFFEE. and he was just standing around? It wasn't pretty, people.

He FINALLY goes and brings back the coffee and I'm a happy camper. Until our one printer ran out of toner. Now, the week before I'd called and ordered some from the company that supplies us, but they'd "forgotten" to bring it. So no toner. That's our main printer. My boss was NOT happy. Neither was I. I called and chewed our rep out and told him I wanted the toner in an hour. After I hung up with him I realized that we don't get the toner for that printer from him, because we can order it cheaper from Staples online. Well, hell. I DID request it from him the week before, but I shouldn't have. So now I'm feeling like an ass.

But wait, it gets better.

Then our color printer jams. And jams again. And yet one more time. By now it's almost lunch and I'm just all SORTS of pissy, because no one else in the office can un-jam it. Like, what? It's brain surgery? I think not. Anyway, I get that one fixed and send Cookie out to pick up lunch for me. I wanted a taco salad. She took almost 2 hours to get back (She's ALWAYS slow like that) and then she forgot my sour cream. WTF? I wrote it all big and underlined it and everything.

Extra Sour Cream


Kind of hard to miss, right? Any who, things seemed ok for awhile after that. The taco salad kind of upset my tummy, but whatever. I was fairly happy. Then stupid Isabel started talking about wanting a hamburger. I was stuffed, my tummy was hurting and yet she made me want one. WTF? *sigh*

Any who, all most was right in my little world and then the unthinkable happened. Our scanner/fax/printer/copier jammed, too. Already our other two printers had had issues, and that was just the last straw. I went over and started messing around with it and figured out that there was too much paper in the 2nd tray. So I took some out and restarted it. It jammed again. So I took even more paper out and restarted it. It jammed again.

By now I'm furious, because shit, it's just been one thing after another all freaking day long and I was soooo over it! I finally just grab the entire stack of paper, say, "FREAKING THING" all loud and toss the paper onto the floor to my right. Only to realize that the toner guy from above? Yeah, he's standing right there. Had he taken even one step closer that entire ream of paper would have landed right on his feet. I was so embarrassed. But the look on his face...oh Lord. I swear I scared ten years off of his life. He kind of cleared his throat and looked at me like I was crazy, then he said, "Uh, you needed toner?" and he eyes the copier all skeptically.

I said, "Well. This is awkward. It looks like you caught me right in the middle of a temper tantrum." He kind of laughed, in this really uncomfortable way and said, "So, the toner?" Yikes. Poor guy. Of course DW and Cookie thought this was the funniest thing and busted up laughing as soon as he was out of the office. He he really rushed right out of the office, too. He'll probably refuse to come back to our office. I can just hear it now. "There's a psycho chick in there who's trying to kill me. I WON'T.GO.BACK. You can't make me!" Oy vey.

I just can't believe I did that. Hi, my name is Holly and I act like a 2-year-old.

Ugh.

There's more, but I'm going to stop there for now. You get the idea, anyway, right? I thought this week would be better, but apparently not, because on Monday I dumped coffee all over myself and my car on the way to work, yesterday I exchanged my charged batteries for my dead ones in my camera and got NO pictures of my children in their Halloween costumes and this morning I overslept and didn't get The Girl to school in time for her first play practice. I guess I'm not going to win Mother of the Year this year, either. *sigh*

Moving on now...

Y'all are pretty observant. I got numerous emails and a couple of comments on the change of attire for my Avatar (ref: left side bar). I was going to say, no, no announcements from me, but MM DID propose last night. Yes, you read that right, he proposed. With a red Ring Pop. Isn't he just the most romantic man you've ever met? HA!

Any who, the wedding attire my Avatar was sporting over the weekend and through yesterday was for Halloween. I mean, really, who doesn't want to be a beautiful bride....for pretend.

Hmm, what else? Oh, right. Steph over at Cars and Boston Cremes tagged me for Fours, but since I already did a slight variation of it awhile ago, and I'm lazy, I'm just going to link that OLD post instead of retyping a new one. :) I'm SOOO good like that.

Thanks to all of you for saying such nice things about my new haircut. It was pretty traumatic, but I'm in love with it now. It's so easy and it feels 50lbs lighter. I'm loving it.

Also, thanks to all of you who answered my nosy survey questions. It was much appreciated. All of you passed with flying colors (Except for Ames who didn't bother to answer...she's just as lazy as me, isn't it great?). I promised a reward, so on the agenda for either tonight or tomorrow is the Naked Sprinkler Story. I know I've been MIA, but I was suffering from a Migraine and wasn't up to posting. Plus, I've been seriously swamped at work and then staying at MM's, so I didn't have time to post, even had I felt like it.

I should be back up and running now, though. I hope everyone had a safe and fun Halloween!

Hugs!

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