Friday, September 29, 2006

Stip Clubs...Yay or Nay??

Jazzy-girl recently put up a post, asking what we thought of our men visiting strip clubs. I was going to comment there, but figured I'd just blog about it instead. Partially because my answer was so long, and partially because I'm too lazy to think up something of my own to post about. Yeah, I'm a lazy bitch, so what? You got issues? You wanna take this outside? I say, BRING IT! (what? So I'm a little wired today, deal with it)

We've talked about Porn, and Marrying a Stripper, but what about just hanging in a strip club? We haven't talked about that yet, have we? Why not, I wonder. Probably because I'm too lazy to think these things up on my own.

Anyway, in her post, Jazz mentioned my 3-day rule. Let me tell you about it and how it started.

When I was with the Rat Bastard, he went through this stage where he and his little homies from high school (yes, he was supposed to be all growd up by then, but uh...I'm still waiting for that to happen) wanted to chill at the strip club all the time. Now, the RB is almost four years older than I am, so me going with him wasn't an option, because you had to be 21 to get in and I was only 20 at the time. So I couldn't say, fine you can go, but only if I go with you.

At first I really didn't mind that he went. I mean, yeah, he was going and looking at other women, but he was coming home to me, right? But you remember that whole cheating thing I told you about? Well, after that I stopped trusting him. Plus, he never really made me feel good about msyelf (read: he put me down all the time, you know I'm fat, ugly, whatever) and he'd make comments like, "Why can't you have her rack", which wasn't good for our sex life. A word of advice to the men out there....Women need to feel sexy to be sexy. If you tell her she's fat and then want to have sex five minutes later, her response isn't going to be good. You just might want to keep that in mind.

So anyway, he'd come home from the strip club all primed and ready to get down and dirty, and there I'd be, wallowing in self-pity and raging with jealousy. One night, he came home from the strip club, grabbed my ankle ( I was sound asleep in bed, since it was like THREE IN THE DAMN MORNING), literally yanked me out of bed, and told me to go cook him a pizza. Then he said, "When I'm done eating the pizza, I'm going to eat you." To which I replied, "When hell freezes over", thus, the 3-day rule was born.

The 3-day rule is as follows: Go, have a great time. Laugh. Get a lap dance. Stare at the naked woman. But don't come home and think you're going to get some. Not for that night, or the following three nights. Why? Because I couldn't stand the idea of him coming home with a hard-on for another girl and putting me to use. So three nights should be long enough to get the image of the other woman out of his head.

The exceptions: If I go to the strip club with him (which I never have, but still). I mean, if I'm there seeing the same thing he's seeing, I can't really penalize him for that, right?

The Flip: Naturally, if I go to a male strip club, the three day rule works in reverse, meaning I don't get any for three days either (Though to be totally honest, this never really happens, beause seriously? What man is going to turn away a willing fuck? Yeah, exactly).

So there you go, the 3-day rule in all it's glory.

However....Since I met MM, and trust him completely, I don't really hold to the 3-day rule. Not that it's been tested yet, because MM hasn't done the strip club thing since the night we met, but I truly wouldn't care if he did. First, he's not really into it, and second, I know he'd be coming home at night with me on his mind, regardless lf what he saw at the club.

So, my questions for you: Women, how do you feel about your man visiting the strip club? Men, what are your thoughts on them? How bout the 3-day rule? Women, would you enforce it? Men, what would you do if your woman did?

I suppose for me, it's all an issue of trust. I don't care that MM goes, but I cared when the RB did, because I trust MM but didn't trust the RB. Plus, I've never doubted how much MM wants me. With the RB, he made sure I doubted him.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Movies That Make Me Cry

Isabel put up a new blog today, saying she was a little menstural ball and very sappy at the moment.

She said there are some movies that make her cry no matter how many times she watches them, and then she asked, "What about you?" So here are my answers:

Beyond Borders: Seeing all of the sick/orphaned/abandoned people/children broke my heart. I mean, I know the world isn't always a beautiful place, but to see with my own eyes the despondancy in so many other humans is just heartbreaking. And the ending? Gosh, I bawl like a baby everytime I see it.

Deep Impact: The movie itself was kind of cheesey and rather trite, but there's one particular part, where the masses are huddled outside of these massive caves the government has been stocking with food and such to save as many as possible and there are all of these people outside the gates, watching the "chosen" people head inside and mothers are holding up their children screaming, "Please, save my baby! Save my baby!". It gets me everytime.

Titantic: I'm probably one of the only people in the known world that doesn't like this movie. I didn't enjoy the cinematography, and I think it's wrong that they tried to romanticize something that was so tragic. But regardless, there's one part, just as the ship is starting to sink, where they show a mother and her two young children trapped below, with no way out. She realizes she can't save her children, so she puts them to bed as water fills the cabin, singing to them and covering them with a blanket and I burst into tears everytime I even think of it. To know she was putting them to bed for the last time, that they'd never wake up again. Gosh. I just don't know if I could do it.

I can think of several others, but I'll leave it there for now.

What about you? What movies make you cry no matter how many times you see them?

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

What Might Have Been

**Moment inspired this post.**

*Sure I think about you now and then
But it's been a long, long time
I've got a good life now, and I've moved on
So when you cross my mind...

In high school I dated a very, very wonderful boy, Nate. He was tall, with dark hair and amazing, bright blue eyes and he was so very good to me. He'd write me love letters and tell me I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever met and he'd talk about me all the time to his friends. We dated for more than a year.

But being young, I didn't realize what I had and I ended it. I didn't have a good reason for doing so, we never fought, he was always sweet and attentive, we laughed together all the time. I was just young and bored and thinking I wanted to "test the waters" so to speak. He was terribly upset with me, saying we should stay together, but I insisted we break up. I dated new people and so did he, but we couldn't stay away from each other.

We got back together for a short time just before I got together with The RB. It ended a few weeks before the RB and I started dating, but I thought about him from time to time after that.

I try not to think about what might have been
Cause that was then
And we have taken different roads
We can't go back again
There's no use givin in
And theres no way to know
What might have been

As the years passed, I'd hear things about him and I'd smile, or think of him fondly. Occasionally I'd even feel a twinge of regret, or jealousy when I heard he was with someone else. I didn't want to be with him, but he was so wonderful to me, and had taken such a large place in my heart that I suppose I wanted to think of him as mine, even though we rarely saw each other.

Then, shortly after I got married I heard from a mutual friend that Nate, too, had gotten married. I hadn't seen or talked to him in years, but my heart hurt when I found out.

We can sit and talk about this all night long
And wonder why we didn't last
Yes, they might be the best days we will ever know
But we'll have to leave them in the past...

After that, for weeks I had dreams about him and spent way more time than I should have thinking about What Might Have Been. About a month after I learned of his marriage, he and a friend came into the bar I was working at.

So try not to think about what might have been
Cause that was then
And we have taken different roads
We can't go back again
There's no use givin in
And theres no way to know
What might have been

I saw him leaning against the bar, looking amazing, his blues eyes shining, and I faltered a bit. I wanted to run to him, and throw my arms around his neck as I'd done countless times when we were dating. And I wanted to run away, too, and hide from him. But he'd seen me, so I walked over.

I said, "Hey! What's up" and gave him a hug, which he returned. Then he sat back, and with a huge grin said, "I got married" and showed me his ring. My stomach flipped. I swear I thought I'd puke right there. And I was married. MARRIED! It shouldn't have bothered me at all that an old flame was now with someone else, but it did.

I said, "Me too" and flashed my ring with forced brightness.

That same old look in your eyes
It's a beautiful night, I'm so tempted to stay
But too much time has gone by
We should just say good bye, and turn and walk away...

I tried talking to him for another minute or so, but it was awkward and I finally said goodbye. As I walked away tears welled in my eyes for no reason at all. I didn't really want to be with him, I don't think, but the young girl in me cried out over the loss of someone special in my life.

And try not to think about what might have been
Cause that was then
And we have taken different roads
We can't go back again
There's no use givin in
And theres no way to know
What might have been

Up until a few years ago, I still wondered about him, and what might have been. I even went so far as to check and see if he was still married right after I filed for divorce. I had dreams about him, and thought about him, and even considered asking friends about him, though I never did.

Since I met MM it's lessoned some, but I think certain people touch us, and even when we move on, we still look back and our hearts sigh a little bit. I think it's possible that Nate was my first love. And no matter what, a piece of him will always remain in my heart, even if it's filled to brimming by others.

I don't regret that we went our separate ways. And I don't feel cheated, like perhaps I missed out on something amazing. Even so, I do think about him now and then....

No we'll never know, what might have been......

*lyrics from What Might Have Been, by Little Texas


I am a firm believer in, "We're responsible for our own actions". We are. I don't care who you are or what you do for a living or who you're married to or who your parents are, the fact of the matter is, you're offered choices in life, and consequences of the choices YOU make are all your own. You made your bed, now you lie in it.

I've been dealing with this and The Girl for quite some time now. Remember how I told you about The Psycho Mary Kay Lady? Well, I told her - and I firmly believe - that regardless of outside influences, The Girl is responsible for her own actions. Yes, I believe that if you can't make good decisions on your own the temptation should be removed, but that doesn't mean that I don't hold The Girl responsible for the choices she chooses to make.

It upsets me that she's not strong enough to make right decisions, regardless of what her friends are doing. But I have no idea how to give her more inner strength. I want her to be able to make the right decision regardless of the situation. If she's with friends who all decide to light up a cigarette or drink a beer, she'll be able to say no to them and not cave in. But how do I teach her to be that way?

How do I make her understand that as she grows, people will respect her more for doing what's right than they will for following along? How do I teach her to stand her ground, even if the face of overwhelming pressure?

I know I can show her. I can lead by example. And I do. I'm not afraid to voice my opinions, regardless of how they'll be viewed. I'm not afraid to tell someone what's on my mind. If a friend pisses me off, I tell him/her, You Pissed Me Off. If I'm upset about something, I'm not afraid to say, I'm Upset. If I see someone doing something they shouldn't, I'm not afraid to say, You Need To Stop. Even if they don't listen, I can go to bed at night and sleep well knowing I at least tried to do the right thing. Can you?

If so, how do you teach your children to do the same? If not, what stops you? Why don't you speak up? Are you afraid of rejection? Confrontation? What?

Maybe if you share with me, I'll be better able to understand why my daughter isn't able to stand up, either.

Monday, September 25, 2006

41 Things

I saw this on Sarah’s blog first, but actually stole it from Devonna.

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?

Does my boyfriend count? Because if so, then YEP, sure have. And those handcuffs? Well, we'll save that for another time....

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
Not on the actual coaster, but on the way up? ALL THE TIME! That part freaks me out, big time. The huge drops? I'm cool. The upside-down? BRING IT ON! Heading up the track? OH.HELLS.NO.

3. When's the last time you've been sledding?

I try to take my kids every winter. Even though I hate the cold and snow, I love sledding. We used to sled with garbage bags on this super rocky hill behind the apartments I lived in as a kid. It was fun, but I had some major bruises on my tushy when all was said and done.

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Depends……I like sleeping with MM, except he keeps his house at sub-zero and I freeze. Plus, sometimes I like hogging the bed to myself.

5. Do you believe in ghosts?

I'm not sure. I believe in God and Heaven, so I believe in the afterlife. I suppose I kind of have to believe in ghosts, right?

6. Do you consider yourself creative?

Yes, but I don't have any creative talents.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Does it matter?

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?

9. Do you stay friends with your ex's?

I'm still friends with some of my ex's from High School, but with the Rat Bastard? Uh...NO!

10. Do you know how to play poker?

Yep, sure do. Matter of fact, my pops was a poker dealer, then pit boss for a long time! So I'm gooood. ha ha

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Yep, sure have. Childbirth SUCKS! I don't care who you are...

12. What's your favorite commercial?
There was this commercial I saw one time on the Funniest Commercials Ever thing where a little kid and his friend were in his room counting money and the mom walks by with a laundry basket and stops to listen. The friend keeps saying, "Wow, that's a lot of money" then he asks what the little boy is going to buy with it. "Are you going to buy a bike?" The little boy says, "Nope." "Are you going to buy candy?" The little boy says, "No, no candy." "Are you going to buy comic books?" The little boy says, "Nah." Finally the friend says, "Well what ARE you going to buy." to which the little boy replies, "Tampons." And the friend says, "What? Why?" and the little boy says, "Don't you watch T.V.? If you have tampons you can go swimming and ride horses and play at the beach." at which point the camera shows the mom out in the hallway, laying on the floor laughing. *sigh* Good times, good times...

13. What are you allergic to?

Penicillian and Bee Stings. Oh, and Pot. I think I'm the only person alive who's allergic to marajuana. Finding out wasn't fun, either.

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around, do you run red lights?
Ah, NO! It actually makes me mad when other people do. Besides, see #1. Probably not good for me to do things like that, huh?

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Yep. I have some secrets of my own that no one else knows and I know a lot of other people's secrets. Though those probably don't count, because they know them, too, so I'm not really the ONLY one who knows.

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
Neither. It's all about Chicago and Seattle. :)

17. Have you ever been ice skating?

Yes, but it's been ages! I'd probably kill myself (or someone else) if I tried it now.

18. How often do you remember your dreams?

A lot of the time. I have crazy, scary reoccuring dreams that trip me out.

19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?
Today. With Cookie.

20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles?
Strawberry Fields, 8 Days A Week, Yellow Submarine, Hey Jude, Yesterday...but I could go on and on. I lurrve the Beatles.

21. What's the one thing on your mind now?
My children are driving me insane...I need a vacation!

22. Do you believe in love at first sight?
I never used to, but now I wonder. I almost think that's what happened with me and MM. *sigh*

23. Do you know who Ghetto-ass Barbie is?
Duh. I already told ya'll on Devonna's blog, but I'll tell you's Dylan!

24. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Now I always do, but I used to have this horrible fear of being trapped in my car by my seatbelt, so for a long time I didn't. But my kids talked me into it and it's habit now.

25. What cell service do you use?

26. Do you like sushi?
Some. It depends.

27. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?
Yes ~ I was pregnant at the time and the pickup I was riding in rolled. It was scary enough, but knowing I was pregnant made it even worse.

28. What do you wear to bed?

It depends. Sometimes shorts and a tank. Sometimes a tee and undies. Sometimes pants and a tank. Sometimes a nightgown.

29. Been caught stealing?

Nope, I've never stolen anything. But I used to watch my friends do it all the time in grade school.

30. What shoe size do you wear?
It depends on the shoe, but between a 61/2 and 71/2.

31. Do you truly hate anyone?
Nope. There are people I greatly dislike, but I think hate is a wasted emotion.

32. Classic Rock or Rap?
Classic Rock all the way. It's what I grew up on.

33. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
Hmm, I don't think I would if I could.

34. Are you a virgin?
Yep, sure am. (Just checking to make sure you're actually reading this)

35. Have you ever sung in front of the mirror?
No, but when I was growing up my dad was in a band and me and my Evil Cousin used to sing Walk Like An Egyptian into the mics. She did the whistling part and I hated her for it (I still can't whistle very well)

36. What food do you find disgusting?
Liver, stuff like that. Ewww!

37. Do you sing in the shower?
No, not out loud. I sing in my head, though. Ususally I just sing around the house and in the car.

38. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours"?
Sure did. I also played strip poker and Choo-Choo Train.

39. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their backs?
Yes, but only in the spirit of fun. I make it a rule to never say anything about a person behind their back that I wouldn't say to their face.

40. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?

All the time.

41. Have you ever been punched in the face?

Yep, but I gave better than I got and she went home with a broken nose, two broken ribs, a black eye (aside from the ones caused by the broken nose, that is) and a slight limp. Hey, I might be small, but I'm scrappy. :)

Girl Talk

Yes, boys and girls, today I want to talk Girl Talk, so if y'all aren't comfortable with TMI, come back later today or tomorrow for our regularly scheduled programming...or visit the archives for other stuff. ;)

My boobs hurt. No, I mean they seriously HURT! It started about 2 weeks ago, and I blamed it on PMS, because I knew I'd be starting soon. Sure enough, after a week of agony, the cramps hit and then my period. But my boobs didn't stop hurting. And here it is, a week after my period ended and they STILL hurt. They're tender to the touch and they're swollen and it's uncomfortable to even wear a bra! Sheesh! MM says it's not normal (like he'd know? Pfffft) and I should go see the doctor. But I know it's just that my body has been changing, since it's happened before, but I swear, if one more person says, "Are you pregnant?" I refuse to be held responsible for my actions. I've already given birth to 2 kids, so I know what my body is like when I'm preggers, and this isn't it, ok???

Anywho, that's not the only change my body has made lately, either. My appetite is totally different and I'm craving things I never liked before. Not only that, but I'm losing hair like you wouldn't believe! And I'm having hot flashes. But the thing is, I'm TWENTY-FREAKIN-SEVEN! I mean, what IS this?

So, tell me, anyone else have these issues? I have a feeling my hormones are just shifting, but crap in the face, I'm OVER it already, ok?

Next, Tampons or Pads? I'm a tampon girl, personally, but I know a lot of women don't use them. I love the convenience of them, though. It's so much more comfortable and I feel cleaner when I wear them, too. But I'll share my first time horror story with y'all....

So, I was like 14 and I was visiting my aunt in Ill and we were flying back home that day, but I'd started my period. My aunt told me to use a tampon instead of a pad because it would be more comfortable. So she hands me one and sends me into the bathroom. But I'd never used one before, so I was clueless. Anyway, I finally insert the damn thing and man, it HURT! I mean, I probably changed it at least 6 times on my flight, because it hurt so bad.

Anyway, long story short, turns out I was inserting the applicator, too. What? I didn't know. Sheesh! But I finally figured it out and now I'm a happy camper. LOL

So, do you use Tampons or Pads? Why?

And that brings me to the last topic I want to discuss today. Yeast infections. I've never had one before. I mean, I know what they are, but I don't really know how you get one, or how you cure it once you do. And what are the symptoms? Because there have been a couple of times when I thought I might have one, but wasn't sure.

So, what's a Yeast Infection and how do you know if you have one? What's the best cure for them? Do you have a preferred method? What about natural remedies or preventatives?

Saturday, September 23, 2006

What Influences You?

I read A Rose At Midnight by Anne Stuart last night. The book was dark and depressing and made my stomach clench. It was amazing. But for the rest of the evening, I was sort of depressed and reflective and not really in the mood to talk to people.

This morning I listened to Scars by Papa Roach and Closer by Nine-Inch-Nails and felt...destructive and angry and upset. Now I'm listening to Janis Joplin and feeling alive and hyper. Before that I was listening to Billie Holiday and feeling introspective and mellow.

It made me wonder, what influences you? Movies? Books? Music? Do you hear a song when you're sad and become happy? Do you read a scene in a book when you're calm and get angry? Or is it just me?

Thursday, September 21, 2006

I'll Never Be The Same Again

I'm over at my mom's last night, helping her set up her new T.V.'s (She got 2 flat screens, one 27in and one 32in for like $1400 with shipping from Y'all might want to check it out, cuz that was the total price for both) and my grandma calls. I answered the phone and she said, "Hey sweetie, can I talk to your mom please." I said sure, handed the phone to my mom, and went back to trying to untangle cords.

A minute later, my mom comes back in the room and hands me the phone. She said, "It's you grandma needs to talk to" with a little uncomfortable laugh. I gave her a funny look, but took the phone. I said hello and my grandma says,

"I need you to tell me about blowjobs."

*stunned silence*

Huh? Now, I know I couldn't have heard that right. I said, "Huh?" and she laughed, "Blowjobs, can you tell me about them?"


At this point, I'm pretty much trying really hard NOT to throw up, and can't form a sentence to save my life. She busts out laughing and says, "You know, the drink." And like that's better? I said, "Grandma, you have about two seconds to explain yourself before I develop amnesia and forget we ever had this conversation."

Well, through boughts of giggles, the story comes out that her and her little crafter friends from her countryclub are putting together a cookbook and she wanted to add a few drinks to it. So my GRANDFATHER suggested a blowjob. She kept saying, "It's all your grandfather's fault", like that was going to make it better?

Seriously, I'm scarred for life. I mumble the recipe for a blowjob and then I say, "You know, grandma, I'm traumatized for life now. When I'm 80, I'll still be having nightmares about this." She says, "I told you, it's all your grandfather's fault." I rolled my eyes. The she asked me for a couple of other drinks. I mention a Cosomopolitan and an Irish Coffee and she says, "No, that's not what I had in mind." OH.Shit.

I said, "Ok, what about a Sex on the Beach?" and my GRANDMOTHER says, "Hmm. I think you should be talking to MM about things like that, not me." *groan*

I'll never be the same after that conversation. And I just have to tell you, that goes right to the top of the "Top 10 Things You Never Want To Hear Your Grandparents Say" list.

1. Can you tell me about Blowjobs?


Wednesday, September 20, 2006

How Much Do You Love Me??

Because I need a big favor from y'all, so I'm going to put your love to the test here! Are you willing to help a sister out (and I mean that in the truest sense!)

Remember how I told y'all that my baby brother is going to be famous some day? Well, that day may come sooner than later...with your help.

His bad, Larusso, is participating in a battle of the bands, and he needs votes! Help us out, will you? Go to the site listed below and vote for your top 3 favorite bands, with Larusso being number one, of course. Then, copy/paste this link to your blogs and ask all of your readers to vote, too. Unfortunately, you have to register for the site to vote, but it's for a great cause, so it's worth it. Right?

Okay so that website that you need to go to is Almost Famous.

Here's what my brother said about it:

You're going to need to register for the site and what not, but Larusso needs your help! Also, you get to pick 3 bands. Check out My Former Self -Like A Drug. They are our friends from California and they made it too! Oh yea and make sure you tell EVERYONE you can! We need all the help we can get.

Will you help us out? PLEASE????

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

The Psycho Mary Kay Lady

A few years ago The Girl started talking about this little girl, Sarah, that was in her class and went to her after school program with her. For a little while, it was Sarah this and Sarah that. Then I started noticing The Girl getting an attitude and lying a lot and just generally being unhappy. Of course, this was also about the time the Rat Bastard and I were getting a divorce, so I chalked it up to that.

In the meantime, I met Sarah's mom. She sold Mary Kay. The first time we met she asked if I'd be interested in doing a show or buying some products. I told her that in the past I'd always had a bad reaction to MK, so I wasn't interested. The woman refused to take no for an answer!

She started calling me 18 times a day, leaving sample products in my car and putting flyers in my windshield.

To make matters even worse, I realized her daughter was the reason The Girl was having so many issues. Over the course of about six months I finally got The Girl to stop playing with Sarah and managed to shake The Psycho Mary Kay Lady off. I figured that was the end of it. But no, the next year Sarah and London were in the same class again and it started up all over again.

But I'd learned my lesson, so I was quick to nip it in the bud. Within two weeks of school starting, The Girl knew she wasn't allowed to play with Sarah and I'd FINALLY gotten rid of Sarah's mom. After that, I ran into her a few times while picking up The Girl, but the harassing phone calls and such stopped.

Not long after that, they seemed to disappear off the face of the Earth. Sarah got kicked out of the after school program and I was pretty sure they moved, because The Girl said she didn't see Sarah at school anymore.

Anywho....The Week before last when I picked up the kids from the ASP (After School Program) I saw a little girl there that looked familiar, but I couldn't place her and just let it go. That was my first mistake. Because on that Friday when I went to get the kids, the same little girl was there and she threw her arms around me and said, "HOLLY! I MISSED YOU!" and I thought, OH SHIT, because it all came rushing back.

Sure as shit, the little girl was Sarah. I tried rushing out with the kids, but she grabbed me and wouldn't let go and while I was trying to extract myself who showed up? *sigh* Yes, none other than the Psycho Mary Kay Lady, Sarah's mother.

She went on and on and on about how glad she was to see me and how excited Sarah was that The Girl was in the ASP with her and how they live RIGHT FUCKING BEHIND ME and how we're just going to be the best of friends.

*Bangs head on desk*

No, I'm serious. She actually said all that. What.the.Fuck.

She showed up at my house on Saturday, then on Sunday, then on Monday. I refused to let them in each and every time, and I told her she can't just show up, but on Monday when they came she had her little Mary Kay kit along with her and she was "Hoping I'd be interested". I didn't let her in that day, either, and told her, not very politely that I'd NEVER be interested.

On Tuesday, after a bunch of drama with The Girl, I told her she wasn't allowed to play with Sarah anymore. Then I told the ASP director. Then I told the principal, then I told her teacher. What? I'm not taking any chances here, ok? The Girl said she was happy that she couldn't' play with her, because "Sarah is annoying", but still, I just wanted all of my bases covered.

On Thursday the kids had their Back-To-School night and The Psycho Mary Kay Lady cornered me in The Girl's classroom to find out why "Your kid lied to mine" about not being allowed to play with her. I said, "She didn't lie. The Girl isn't allowed to play with Sarah." Well, that sparked a whole conversation on the merits of working together as parents to keep our kids in line and blah, blah, blah.

I told her, "Look, if this was the first time, I'd agree with you, but this has been going on for years. I hold The Girl fully responsible for all of her actions, but if she can't make good decisions with bad outside influences, then as her parent, I need to do my best to remove those bad influences." After another 15 minutes of this, I finally excused myself and told her to please ask Sarah to keep away from The Girl.

I was hoping that would be the end of it, but no, she drives by my house at least 5 times a day, and when I see her daughter at the ASP, she runs over and hugs me and then gives The Girl a smug look.

Seriously, I'm a nice person, dammit! What the hell did I do to deserve this? SOMEONE, PLEASE SAVE ME!

MM says he'll answer the door the next time she stops over, but he'd be more likely to invite her in and then make fun of her while she drank tea than anything. And you know that once I let her in the door she won't leave, right? UGH!

Friday, September 15, 2006


Grey's Anatomy, Baby!

I started watching this show by accident. I fell asleep during the last quarter of the Super Bowl last year and when I woke up, Grey's Anatomy was just starting. Luckily - or unluckily, depending on how you look at it - for me, it was the first episode of the new season. I watched it that one time and was hooked.

Because I didn't watch the first season, I, unlike so many other watchers, haven't been hoping against all hope that Meredith Grey and Derek "McDreamy" Shepard end up together. I didn't watch them fall in love with each other, or see the drama they went through when his wife, Addison, showed up again, so I'm not really in their camp.

I admit that during the first episode or two, I was hoping that McDreamy would realize he wasn't doing his wife any favors by sticking it out and get with Mer, but after that, I just got irritated at the whole situation. It shouldn't have been drug out for an entire season. The longing glances, the unfairness to Derek's wife, the tension between them...meh! It just got old.

Dylan is Mer/Der obsessed. Right from the beginning she's been wanting them together, so I've heard about it non-stop from her. It's just another thing for us to disagree on.

Now that I've stated my opinion on that, let's move on to the season finale from last year.

Wow. Some of it I was expecting, others I wasn't, but overall I wasn't at all disappointed...well, I was, but not with the episode itself. I'll get into that later, but first things first:

Christina: OH HELL NO! I have no idea what this bitch was thinking throughout the entire show, but I was ready to karate chop her dumbass and then kick the girl when she was down. I expected so much better from her than what she gave in that last episode! When she leaned down and told Burke that she was here for him, no matter what he needed, my heart gave a little sigh. Then I cracked up when she said, "That was my best supportive girlfriend and you ruined it". Seeing Burke's little half smile was adorable.

But when she walked away from him the first time, I about screamed! OH HELL NO! Where's the strong, take charge Christina I adored in the beginning of the season? The take no prisoners pit bull who let nothing slide? Though I will say I was totally feeling her when she was begging The Cheif to tell her how he keeps his edge. Loved it. When she went to Burke at the end of the show and took his hand, she totally redeemed herself for me. I knew she'd come around. Still, I think she needs to get smacked a minute just because.

Izzy: This girl needs to be smacked upside her stupid blonde head. I have no idea what she was thinking when she was screaming at Denny, "What about me. What about me. What about me. What about me. What about me." Ok, seriously, that whole thing went on wayyyyy too long (this was on the second to last episode). At first I was like, ok, Izzy's losing it. Then I thought, poor thing. Then I thought, someone shut this bitch up before I have to put the smack down. That didn't change in the last episode.

What in the world possessed this idiot to cut the lifeline of the man she "loves"? That was like the stupidest thing, evah! I love you so I'm going to kill you? Okkaaayyy. I understood that she wanted him to live. Absolutely. But watching a once strong, I'll do anything to get ahead woman scream at the top of her lungs, "what about me" and then kill her boyfriend was just...disturbing. And way over the top.

I couldn't even feel sorry for her at the end of the show when Denny died. I wanted to. Really, I did. But I just couldn't do it. Seeing her lay there with his corpse in her pretty pink dress did nothing for me. I guess I'm just coldhearted, because the only thing I could think was, "You got what you deserved". I wasn't even upset or shocked when she said she was quitting and walked away from Dr. Bailey. Matter of fact, I almost cheered.

Which brings me to...

Alex: *dreamy sigh* I fall into the Love-The-Bad-Boy category, I always have. I've loved Alex right from the beginning. Sure, he's irritated me from time to time, but it's the glimpes of the strong, caring man that totally redeem him for me every single time. I loved watching him over the course of the season, something totally ritcheous, sometimes a complete ass. I was starting to get WAYY irritated with him towards the end of the season when he was so freakin retarded over Izzy, but the way he acted when Denny died just sealed the deal for me. I mean, he totally took charge and cared for Izzy. I loved it! I can't wait to see what he's going to do this season. Be still my heart.

George: Unlike the ever-faithful KateD., I'm not too much into George. Yes, he's a sweet guy, but he's a bit too immature for my tastes. The way he ran after Mer for so long, whining about how she didn't notice him and throwing temper tantrums was a total turn off for me. But the last couple episodes he really started to man up and I was very pleased. I want to see him grow a backbone and stop hiding from life. I really hope that happens in the episode. Although I have to take a moment to be totally shallow and bitchy here. The girl he's been "seeing"? Sooo not feeling her. She's a little crazy and not that attractive and she LIVES IN THE HOSPITAL! I'm really, really not feeling her. Ok?

Addison: I want McSteamy back She needs to get back with McSteamy. He's hot, he cares for her and she's already done him a bunch of times and knows how he is in bed. Besides, past mistakes aside, she's really made an effort to atone for what she did and Derek doesn't deserve her anymore. Yes, I said it. So what? Watching her face at the end of the last episode, I felt for her. Really I did. And I loved it when she confronted Derek about his shabby treatment of her. He NEVER commited himself to her, not really. She needs to kick his ass to the curb and chase McSteamy down.

Which reminds me...

McSteamy: WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU???? You better be around A LOT more this season, you hear? I need to see you. Seriously, look at how damn sexy he is. Maybe TMI here, but I'M ALL WET JUST LOOKING AT THIS!

McVet: Wise up and get rid of Mer. You're too good for her. She has a lot of growing up to do and you're not going to get anywhere until she does. I loved him in the last epi, though. Gosh, I loved it when he told her that he didn't make plans, not since his wife died, but he wanted to make plans with her. THAT was a good line. *sigh*

I'm going to leave you with favorite part. YUM!

Ok, and because Grace and Dylan asked so nicely, the rest of that episode...

Part 1

Part 3

Part 4 ~ Naked McSteamy...*snicker*

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Poor James.....

Remember James? The Not-So-Bright-Guy who had a Pretty-Mercenary-Girl? Well, he's officially gone under.

MM ran into The Girlfriend yesterday and she said, "Call him. It's bad." Of course MM was intrigued and immediately called James to see what was up.

Turns out The Girlfriend and her mom got into it over the weekend over James. The mom is a pretty devout Jehovah's Witness and isn't happy about her daughter's relationship with James. So she kicked her out. Yes, you read that right, the mom kicked her daughter out.

Well, naturally in her time of need The Girlfriend went to James-of-the-7-hits-a-day, totally hysterical, crying because she had nowhere to go and blah, blah, blah. So, James did the only thing he could do....He told her to move in.

The Sucker.

Oh, but the good news? She's not pregnant. *snicker*

MM, Meet the Rat Bastard

Oh Lord, what have I done? Please, someone save me....

The RB called me the other night and wanted to know if I could drive the kids to Vegas on Dec. 22nd to meet him there so he could take them home for Christmas break. Since my car has been having issues lately, I told him I'd have to see, because I don't think I trust it all the way to Vegas. He said to let him know.

Before I even thought about it, I called MM to see if he wanted to go with me to Vegas. I swear, I just didn't think first. I mean, had I thought about it before hand, I would have asked my mother go with me. Or a friend. Or the guy who lives in a box down the street from my house.

But no, I asked MM. What was his reaction? "Soooo, I'm going to meet the Rat Bastard?" I'm thinking, OH SHIT!

MM: This could be fun.
Me: No, no. I changed my mind. I'm going to ask the Devil Woman. She's been talking about a road trip for awhile now.
MM: No, no. I want to go. I just want to introduce myself. Hi, I'm MM, you know, the guy who's been fucking your ex wife.
Me: NO! Really, DW will be overjoyed. Seriously
MM: *Soo not hearing me* Or, even better, Hi, I'm MM, the man who actually pleasures your ex-wife.
Me: Oh.My.Gosh. MM, seriously, I just remembered, I have to go with DW. Really.
MM: *STILL not hearing me* Or, Hi, I'm MM, the man who's going to spend the rest of his life with your ex-wife. How does it feel to know I'm her future and you aren't?"
Me: Groan


What do I do? I call Isabel, of course.

Me: I messed up. I messed up really, really bad.
Iz: Holly, what did you do.
Me: It's bad, Is. It's real bad.
Iz: Holly, spit it out. What did you do?

I explain. What does Isabel do? Why, the little witch busts out laughing. Then I hear another voice in the background and I freeze.

Joey: What's so funny?
Iz: You see, Holly -

NOOOOOO! I tried screaming, I tried telling her not to tell him, but she just ignored me and continuted on. What did I do to deserve this?

Joey: Oh, this will be good. I can just see it. "Oh, no wonder she left you. She got tired of being a lesbian."

Isabel told me later that as soon as she said that MM would be meeting my ex Joey smirked, like he knew exactly what MM was thinking.

*Bangs head on desk*

We're going to Vegas together in just over a month, people. Can you imagine what MM and Joey will come up with when they're together?

Or, it could turn out like this, you never know....

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Freakin' MM

Remember how I posted about sappy love songs that remind me of MM? And then I posted about how MM, not to be outdone, also had a few songs that make him think of me?


So he calls me on Saturday. I was on the phone with Isabel when he called. I could tell I was on speaker phone when I answered, but I didn't think much of it. I should have known better.

Me: Hello.
MM: Hey, honey.
Me: Hi.
MM: So, I just had to call you really quick, because me and Gooch on on our way home and your song came on. He doesn't believe me that this is your song. Honey, what's your song?
Me: If it's that Crazy Bitch song again I'm going to kick your ass!
*male laugher erupts*
MM: You know, not everyone can have a song as cool as this one.
Me: Yeah, I guess I'm just special.
MM: Yep, you're real special honey.
*He snickers*
Me: Dammit, I was talking "short bus" special!
*More laughter*
MM: I love you, honey *in sing-songy voice*
Me: *in super sweet voice* I love you too, Fucker!
*more laughter*

He's such a punk! He actually called me to prove to his friends that the Crazy Bitch song is MY song. Like I want to be known for that? Cryin all night in a bucket of dirty water.

I just don't know what do to with that boy.

PS. His mom is out of the hospital now and doing much better. YAY!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

MM Vs. Voice Mail

I hate voice mail. Flat out hate it. It's sooo annoying. It's not like back in the day where you hit a button, listened to your messages and then was done. Now you have to dial the VM number, enter your password, press 7 to delete, 9 to save, 11 to hear again and if you missed something and want to hear it again? You have to back through every message you've saved since the beginning of time. Not to mention that - well, in my case anyway - your messages are only saved for 30 days. What if I wanted to save a message for longer? What if there was an important number I needed to keep? What if..what if? See, it sucks.

So I don't check mine. Well, not very often anyway. I mean, I have caller ID, so if I see you called, I'll just call you back. Makes sense, right? The only time I check is if it's a number I don't recognize or if the number is blocked, then I don't have a choice, right? I have to see who called. But otherwise? Nope, I'll just call you back.

This irritates MM to no end. He hates it that I don't check my voice mail. Why? I have no idea. I mean, it's not like he ever says anything important in a message. I mean, his standard message is, "Hey babe, it's me. Call me back when you get this. Love you, bye." See, so not important. It might be different if he was confessing deep, dark secrets or something, but just a "call me back"? Yeah, whatever.

Anyway, he forgot to un-block his number when he called my cell the other day, so I had no choice but to check my VM. I had like 15 messages. Some were months old, but none were important. Just the standard, "It's me, call me". Then I get to the 14th message, it's from MM.

"Hey babe. It's me. Call me back when you get this. K, love you. You know, I don't know why I'm leaving this message, since you never check them. From now on, I'm just going to start leaving you jacked up messages, since i know you'll never check them. So, watch out. Ha!"

Yeah, he's a freak. LOL But the 15th message? It was him, too.

" I From. The.....inside. Yeah, baby."

WTF? I about died laughing. I called Cookie and had her listen to the message. After we settled down, we decided not to tell him I'd started checking my voice mail. I just wanted to see what else he'd come up with. His next message was:

"Yeah, hi. Uh, yeah, hi. Yeah, hey. Yeah. hi. Well, hi. Yeah."


But it was his latest one that cracked me up. We'd been on the phone with each other and I lost service. When I tried to call him back I got his VM. I figured he'd call me when he had service again or was done with whatever call he was on and called a friend instead. While I was on the phone with her, MM called me back, but I didn't answer, because I was on the other line and because I was driving and I wasn't taking a chance, you know? Anywho, this was the message:

"Hey babe. Sorry we got cut off earlier. Don't bother calling me back, since I'll be at the office. I'll just call you when I get home. Though I have no idea why I'm telling you this, since you won't listen to this anyway. Instead, I"ll tell you a secret......I think about Joey every night when I get into bed. I just can't help myself."

So, what did I do? I called Isabel first thing so she could tell Joey. Yes, I know I'm bad. We laughed for awhile but then I told Izzy, "At least now we know Joey isn't alone with his feelings."

I can't wait to see what he comes up with next.

Hmm, either that, or this is the plan he devised to get me to check my voicemail often. He's pretty devious like that. Damn. Now I have to stop checking them again. Freakin MM!

Monday, September 11, 2006

9/11 ~ If I Knew


If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew ! it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
! you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today..

Thursday, September 07, 2006

News and Other Random Shit....

I know I keep promising posts and updates and then not delivering, but I've been swamped with stuff at home and just haven't had time. Here's a drive-by post to keep you informed, though.

I still don't have internet at home. Hopefully only another week and it'll be back up. If not, it's possible I'll kill someone. Or hang myself from the tree in my backyard. My only saving grace is that I'm on the internet all day at work (Even if I can't play as much as I used to).

MM's mom went in this afternoon for open heart surgery. She suffered a mild heart-attack earlier this year and has been having problems since, so they decided they had to do a full surgery. MM has been pretty upset about it. He doesn't get along that well with his mom, but she IS his mom, no matter what. Plus, he doesn't deal well with things that are out of his control. He's been bitchy and restless and not too much fun, but he sounded better this afternoon. He's at the hospital now, waiting for her to come out of surgery. We shall see.

I got the final verdict on my car. I had to have my front breaks replaced and that, along with an oil change was just under $250. They priced the part I need for my headlights, too, and with labor it's going to be pretty close to $600 to have it fixed. Though I know I can't drive without headlights, I can't really afford to fix them right now, either. So it's on hold until my next payday. Oy vey, I'd just like to get ahead and stay there...for once!

I'm totally bummed that Daily Dump Dan has decided to stop posting. And of course I'm horribly curious about his reasons for doing so. Yes, I'm a nosy bitch. So what? You know you love me anyway....Dan, COME BACK! I MISS YOU!

My kids started school last week. The Girl was very upset her first day, because she was starting a new school and didn't know anyone. She even cried a little. It broke my heart, but they've both settled in well now. Thank goodness. Well, except for the return of the homework problem. But I'm dealing. ;)

I miss you all. I feel so unconnected to the world since I can't peep out your blogs everyday. But only another week and then I'll be back online at home! YAY ME!

Alright, that's all for now. Hopefully I'll be back with more tomorrow.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

And The Bartender Says....

Alright Ladies and Gents, I've left each and everyone of you a comment. Don't forget to let me know how far off the mark I am. It's important.

Also, please remember, this was done in the name of fun. The opinions I expressed are just that, opinions. Not only that, but the opinions I expressed were from the drinks you drink, not you personally.

I hope everyone is having a great day.


Sunday, September 03, 2006

You Can Tell A Lot About A Person From What He Drinks....

When I was in high school, I was fortunate enough to meet a truly wonderful woman by the name of Angie. She was the general manager of a sports bar in the town I grew up in, and shortly before I turned 21, she offered me a job as a server there. I couldn't start until after my birthday, but I readily accepted and eagerly anticipated my 21st Birthday. Not for the reasons you're imgaining, but because I couldn't wait to start my new job.

I started as a server 3 days after my birthday....and loved it. Every last second of it. I'm going to go ahead and toot my own horn here. I ROCK as a server. Seriously. I'm probably one of the best servers you'll ever meet.

Anywhoo, after doing that for about six months, I started to get bored with it. So I started watching the bartenders and within a month, I felt like I was ready to tend bar. So I approached my boss and explained what I wanted. She agreed to give me a shot and things just progressed from there.

Before I go any further, you have to understand something. I've never been a drinker. Never. Oh, I've been drunk a few times in my life, and I have the occasional mixed drink or beer or glass of wine, but I just don't drink on a regular basis. I especially didn't drink before my 21st. No, really. Yes, I see you eyeing me skeptically over there, but it's true. I think it's because I hate not being in complete control of myself. And obviously, when you get drunk, you aren't in complete control. Hmm, that really says something about me, doesn't it?

Moving along now..

So, when I started working at the Sports bar, I knew nothing about drinks. I mean, nothing. Oh, ok, that's not entirely true. I knew what a Tequila Sunriaw was and a Screwdriver, but that's it. I'd heard of other drinks, but I had no idea what went in them. But before I'd been there a year, I was one of the best bartenders around.

I've always had an amazing memory, much to the chargrin of my friends, who'd rather I forget their secrets. But having that memory helped me as a bartender and server. Once, when I was on the floor, a table of 15 came in and I forgot to bring a pen with me to the table when I went to take their drink order. Seeing that I didn't have one, the patrons decided to up the stakes and order their dinner at the same time. 15 separate drinks, 7 appetizers and 16 dinner orders (one to go) and I remembered it all. Even the extra sides of ranch, the tomatoes left off a burger, all of it. That was one of the best tables I ever had, and one of my best nights, money wise.

Anyway, by the time I'd moved behind the bar permanently, I knew all of the regulars by name and what they drank. I could recite the Bartender's Bible with uncanny accuracy and I was faster than any other bartender our little town had ever seen. Plus, I'm an amazing multi-tasker, so I could take drink orders from 8 different people and never miss a step.

When I moved to California I gave up bartending for an office job. Though it pays the bills and allows me to be home with my children every night, I miss being behind a bar. It's like a night out...only you get paid for it. Sadly, I've forgotten most of what I learned while bartending. The drinks, anyway. But the life lessons I learned are ones I still remember and apply to my life.

Such as, you can tell a lot about a person by what he drinks. Yes, it sounds silly, but it's true. So, I'm wondering, what do you drink? Are you a wine drinker? A beer guzzler? Do you go for a scotch on the rocks with a splash of soda, or a mixed drink that's fruity and fun?

No, I'm not going to tell you future by what you drink. But I'll tell you what I think about who you are by what you drink, and you can tell me if I'm right. Then I'll decide if I want to give up my office job and go back to bartending. Y'all are willing to share a little bit of yourselves with me in order to help me on my quest for a new career, aren't you?

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