Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Moving Along Now....

Alright then, enough bitching and feeling sorry for myself, it's time to move on. Yes, yesterday sucked. But we all have bad days, right? What separates us from the losers is that even when we have bad days, we find something to smile about.

Well, that's what I'm going to do. Find a reason to smile. Not that I really need to look hard, or anything. All of you here in Blogland have been very sweet and supportive of my constant bitching/self-pitying and that right there is a reason to smile. Plus, I have two great kids. They ALWAYS bring a smile to my face.

Beta Fishy's friend cracked me up today, too. She reminds me of Dylan and the cement shoes fiasco. Poor Dee! (Love you, bitch)

One of you lovely bloggers sent me an email yesterday with a lovely quote that I found not only fitting, but very touching. That made me smile. Thank you, Sweetie!

I loaded some Led Zeppelin and Cranberries and just sort of zoned in my element. Then I pumped up some Nine-Inch-Nails and Disturbed. Now I'm chilling with some Etta James and Aretha Franklin and I'm feeling much more revved up and less melancholy. Which is good. So, today we're going to smile.

Tell me, what brings a smile to your face? A childhood memory? A movie or book? A song? Artwork or pictures? Share with the group, because I'm sure we could all use a smile now and then.

When It Rains, It Pours

Yesterday, about 3:30, one of my girlfriends called and asked if I could meet her for a drink after work. We do this every so often, make a date and just have a bitchfest at our favorite local hangout. She had a pretty bad day yesterday and we missed our last meet up, because I couldn't get away from the kids, so I asked The Devil Woman to watch the kids and headed out after work.

To be honest, it was just what I needed. I listened to her complain about her job/personal issues and then I complained about mine while sipping a beer and felt a ton better when all was said and done.

Until I left, that is.

I hop in my car, turn my headlights on and pull out of the parking lot. I come to the stop sign at the end of the street and flip my left blinker on...and my headlights shut off. Holy SHIT! Scared me half to death. So I flip the blinker off and the lights come back on. I sat there for a second, kind of freaked out and wondering what I should do, but when nothing else happened after a minute or two I decided to just head home and not use my blinker. I figured if I could get home then today, in the daylight, I could drive my car down to the dealer and see what the problem was.

So, I started pulling forward, intending to make a left turn, and the lights shut off, midturn. Of course it freaked me out, to be plunged into complete darkness (even the dashboard lights shut off!) and I hit the curb. I was going pretty slow, but apparently I had enough speed to BLOW MY FUCKING TIRE! I mean, the bitch BLEW! There was a hole in it the size of a grapefruit!

I limped down the road to the next left turn and pulled my car into the parking lot of the local animal shelter, because there were floodlights on the outside of the building, which made it safer. Then I proceeded to change my tire.

I get the spare off the back of my car, jack up my car and guess what? I can't get the FUCKING lugnuts off! AHHHH! So, I called MM. Lucky for me he was just headed home from work, so him and his carpool buddy drive over to save me. Except, THEY can't get the lugnuts off, either. MM's Partner in Crime ended up bouncing on the stupid thingo to get the nuts loosened. It wasn't pretty.

Anyway, we finally get the tire changed and MM asks me what happened and blah, blah, blah and then he decides I better not drive home, just in case my lights short out again (naturally, when HE tried them they went on without a problem...and stayed on) so he calls AAA and asks for a tow truck. By now it's after 10:30, I'm hot, tired and severely pissed off and you know and I know that a tow truck is going to take FOR FREAKING EVER. Yes, I understand the necessity of having it towed, but I was not looking forward to sitting there for another 2 hours waiting. Which is exactly what ended up happening.

The tow truck finally got there at just after midnight and it was close to 1:00 a.m. when I finally got home. To make matters worse, MM's solution to any problem is to joke about it. Well, you know what? Sometimes IT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY! I'd had a shitty day as it was and the shit with my car was just the last straw! I didn't need him making jokes and teasing me and whatever else. So then, I embarrassed myself by yelling at him in front of his Partner in Crime for being insensitive. And then, to my eternal shame, I cried. Not just a few tears, either, but great wracking sobs that left me feeling even worse than before. Just....perfect.

I took a shower when I got home, went to bed and called the dealer this morning to set up an appointment for my car. Of course, my bad luck holding, I can't get it in until Friday. Thank Goodness DW works at the same place as me. Not that I can't drive during the day, but I'd rather not chance it. What if I turn my blinker on and something shorts out and wires catch fire? *le sigh*

So, there's my adventure for the evening. You know what I want to know? When is enough, enough? Everyone says, This Too Shall Pass (not that I don't believe that, but jeez) and It'll Get Better, but I want to know WHEN!?!

Alright, I'm done feeling sorry for myself now. Mostly.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

A Letter To Blogger

Dear Blogger,
 
What the hell is the matter with you?  STOP eating my posts.  STOP eating my comments.  Let me blog in peace and I won't be forced to do...something unspeakable to you.  No, I don't know what yet.  But it WILL be something.  I promise you that.
 
Sincerely,
Holly

Sometimes, I really just want to cry

I get so tired of being strong. I just want to hand all of my problems to someone else and watch them solve everything.

I don't want to stress about money, or school clothes, or my children's well being. I don't want to worry about car repairs or internet connections or siblings. I want to sit on the beach and watch the surf roll in and just pretend.

Pretend the world is a safe place for my children. Pretend I don't have to worry about paying my electric bill. Pretend I'm strong enough - and have enough faith - to wake up every morning and face a new day.

I want to lie on the grass in the park, and stare at the clouds. I want to visit an amusement park and ride a real roller coaster, not this emotional one I can't seem to get off of. I want to relax in the tub with a glass of wine, a good book and lots of bubbles.

Instead, I carry on, one day at at time. Hoping tomorrow will be better, but not really believing it will.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Round Six...The Knockout

Last week MM and I had yet another "discussion" about moving to Montana. It was basically more of the same (Emotional from him, logical from me) when I just decided to lay it out for him.

I explained that having lived in the Midwest, I knew what it was like to live hand-to-mouth. I remember living in South Dakota and hating that I had to worry about paying our bills and not seeing an end in site. I also told him that I'm not opposed to moving, I'm just opposed to moving to Montana. I said, "Honey, there are 48 other states besides Montana (I excluded Alaska, because I'm NOT living in THAT cold of weather!), pick one and we'll find a place to live there."

He then told me that there's a county in Northern Cali that's hiring in his field and he would consider moving there. I said, "Let's start taking vacations together. I'm not going to be ready to move for at least another couple of years, and neither are you. So we'll start checking out new places until we decide where we want to settle."

He said, "Ok, Montana's out. I'm cool with that."

And that was it. Though I have to tell you, fickle female that I am, I'm almost disappointed. It seems too easy. I have a feeling he's gearing up for another attack.

Anywhoo, I've been researching different areas in Northern Cali and Washington for now. I'll keep you posted, but I'm pretty sure it'll be quite some time before we're ready to make a decision (Don't forget about the ten-year plan).

In the meantime, I'd say the match goes to me. What do you think?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAZZ!!!!!

Yep, that's right, today is Jazz's Birthday!  Everyone hop over to her blog and wish her well, will you?
 
Jazz,
 
Have a wonderful day!  I wish you good food, great presents and AMAZING sex. 
 
All my love,
Holls

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Another James Update

We ended up canceling our dinner together last week, so I haven't really had much to report, but MM talked to The Girlfriend yesterday and it sounds like things are progressing nicely...from her point of view, anyway.

She said James is hitting it somewhere between six and seven times a day (which sounds like a total exaggeration to me, but what do I know, right?) and he forgets protection at least one of those times. Methinks James has issues, people.

Anywho, she also said the house search is continuing, regardless of the lack of a little James (yet!). They've looked at several houses, but haven't found one they both agree on yet.

She also said she's still car shopping, but she thinks she's settled on one. MM asked her if she was buying it or if James was and she gave him a dirty look. MM said he's not feeling very good about the situation. Well, DUH! I've been saying that from the beginning.

So, sounds like things are about the same and on a downward slide. Sucks to be him, right?

Silly MM and A Question...

I decided to stay at MM's last night because my kids stayed with my aunt and I hadn't seen him since last week Thursday.

So this morning, the alarm goes off and MM gets up to shut it off. About 15 minutes later, he got out of bed and started getting ready for work. As is my habit when I stay over, I rolled over to his side of the bed, pulled the covers over my head and went back to sleep (mornings SUCK, ok!).

About half an hour later, I hear MM in the hallway, making a lot of noise. I wasn't ready to get up yet, so I kept my head under the covers and my eyes closed. 30 seconds later I hear the bedroom door open and MM saying, "Come on, let's wake up Holly. Good boy, jump up there and get Holly up! That's a good boy." And I feel a dog digging around in the covers looking for me. I pull my head out from under the covers and pop open an eye to glare at MM.

He smiled at me and then said, "HEY! Get down from there! Get down! You know you're not allowed on the bed!" Talking to the dog. The jerk. Like I didn't just hear him telling the dog to jump on me?

But then he redeemed himself by saying, "I already made you coffee..and set a mug out for you." So I got up and even kissed him goodbye. But I'm on to him now, so he better watch out.

On another topic:

How do you feel about porn? Like, actual porn. Into it? Don't care one way or another? Hate it? Hate anyone who likes it? What?

Personally, I don't like porn. I find it offensive. It really bothers me to think about other people getting it on. Especially if they're getting paid for it. It just seems...wrong. Plus, I don't think it's sexy to watch other couples doing it. I mean, what's the point? Well, unless you're Isabel, but that's another story...hehehe

So tell me, what do you think of Porn? Yay or Nay?

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

And the Job Search Continues...

Well, ok, that's sort of a lie....I mean, I'm not actively searching for a job yet, but I am trying to decide what kind of field I'd like to work in.

I appreciate all of your suggestions, but I'm a fickle creature and can't seem to make up my mind about what I'd like to do. Though I enjoy editing (and am anal enough to be fairly good at it, if I do say so myself), I'm not sure it's something I'd want to do full time. I don't really have the patience to comb through manuscripts and find all the flaws. Plus, I think it might take away some of my enjoyment of reading, and I just can't.have.that.

The Devil Woman, in an attempt to be helpful, has given me an idea. I'm brining it to y'all, because I'm curious as to how many of you would be interested. Now, before I go on to explain her idea, let me first remind you that all the content (and therefore ideas) on this blog are copywrited. That means you can't steal my words or my ideas and use them as your own. Second, I'd like to clarify that if I put this idea to use, it would come with a clause outlining the terms and conditions, one of which would be no malicious or harmful content allowed. I.e. No mail bombs or death threats.

With those things clarified...

Deadflowers.com

Yes, deadflowers.com.

It's like this: Have a co-worker that steals all the credit for your work? Deadflowers.com. Find your boyfriend cheating? Deadflowers.com.

DW suggested coming up with a new weakly slogan, something similar to above. If you happen to be irritated with someone, you could go to the website and place an order for a shipment of dead flowers to be delivered to the offending party. You could choose to remain anon, or to sign your name if you wish. We would also offer blanket messages, in case you couldn't think of something on your own. We thought to start out small, and expand as things move along. Perhaps starting with small arrangements, and eventually offering larger ones with bears or what-not included.

So, what do you think? Can you think of someone you'd like to send dead flowers to? Would you use the web service? How plausible is the idea?

Hit a sister up. Inquiring minds want to know.

Monday, August 21, 2006

20 Things That Irritate Me

Only 20? That's like barely tapping the well, you know? ha ha

I was tagged by Jazz for this one.

1) People who can't use You're and Your correctly. Gosh, that drives me INSANE!

2) Women like this. Stop playing games, already! You're giving the rest of us a bad name!

3) Idiot drivers. Some people are capable of doing more than one thing at a time. Realize your strengths and DO NOT talk on the phone while driving if you're not able to competently do both!

4) People who don't use their blinkers. MM, I'm talking to you here!

5) The Race Card. Just because your ancestors suffered DOES NOT mean that you are entitled to special treatment for it now, centuries later. My ancestors had a shitty time, too, but you don't hear me bitching that I need special shit now because of it. Get over it already.

6) Stupid Clients who think they can do my job better than I can. If that's the case, PROCESS YOUR OWN DAMN LOAN! Sheesh.

7) People who wake up in the morning and jump out of bed, happy to be awake. It's seriously unnatural to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed first thing in the morning...Especially before coffee. Again, MM, this is for you.

8) Women who wear really dark lip-liner with really light lip-stick.

9) My Pyscho Ex-Neighbor. He's never going to change you freakin moron. When you met him he was a crackhead. When you married him 3 years later he was a crackhead and now, four months later, he's STILL a crackhead. Guess what, you're not enough to help him. You weren't enough before, you aren't enough now, and you're not going to be enough anytime in the future. Start thinking about your 4-year-old daughter, and stop thinking about him. Psycho!

10) Too Stupid To Live Romance Novel Heroines. I'll never understand why y'all feel the need to act like freaking morons. You suck!

11) The Rat Bastard. Stop thinking about yourself, and start thinking about your children. Because I promise you, if you keep going down the same road you're on now, your kids are going to end up hating you. And then it's not going to matter one little bit how nice of a house you have, or what kind of car you drive. All that's going to matter is that you'll die alone, with no one to mourn you. What a sad, sorry, lonely existence you're carving out for yourself. Stand up and BE A MAN for once in your life!

12) Authors who create their own little world, and then can't keep the rules they set up for themselves straight in their heads. Sherilynn Kenyon, I mean you.

13) Stupid McDreamy doctors who can't decide if they want their slutty girlfriend or their cheating wife. Derek, I mean you here. Get over yourself. You might be dreamy, but your penis is leading you astray. Again.

14) People Who Can't Take Responsibility for Their Own Actions. You made the choice, you live with it. It is NOT your parents fault, or your friends fault, or the fault of anyone but YOU. You're an adult, you made your bed, now you lie in it. And don't you DARE come to me for sympathy. Because honey, I've been there, I've done that, and I pulled myself out of it. I didn't just lay in a ditch and scream that it wasn't my fault. So fuck you. Get over yourself.

15) Britney Spears. Need I say more?

16) Lack of Customer Service. What the hell is wrong with you people. Your job is to SERVICE CUSTOMERS! When I walk up to your register, smile at me and say hello. When I pay you, say thank you. DO NOT look at me like you wish I'd go crawl back under my rock. DO NOT tell me it's not your problem. DO NOT argue with me when I tell you I was over-charged. Haven't you ever heard the expression The Customer Is Always Right?

17) My Co-Worker. When you can do my job better than I can, when you actually show up for work, and when you actually make an effort, then you can complain about me. Until then, sit down, shut up and let me do my job. You asshole.

18) Single Mothers who complain that they can't take care of their child because "They were too young". Fuck you. You should haven't spread your legs if you weren't willing to suffer the consequences. Your child should NOT suffer because you're a lazy, sorry excuse for a human being. Do you know how many couples in the world right now CAN'T have children, and would treat them well? I'm a single mother. I had my first child at 16. And yet here I am, raising them, putting them first, striving to be a better person for them. I don't want to hear your sob story. I don't want to see you break down and cry because "You just can't do it". Why don't you start thinking about someone besides yourself? Try that for a minute. (Saw this on the Dr. Phil show not too long ago and MAN it pissed me off!)

19) The fact that people think that since I'm young, I'm not a good mother. Come live in my house for a month, then tell me how good of a mother I am. My children are well-behaved, well-adjusted and well-loved. They have trials and tribulations just like every other kid in America, but they're good kids, because I'm a good mother to them. Don't look at me and assume I'm not. You know nothing about me. And with an attitude like that, you never will.

20) Racist or bigoted people. You are NOT better than anyone else because of how much money you have in the bank, or who your parents are, or what color your skin is. If I shoot you, trust me, you're going to bleed the same color as EVERYONE else. Believe me, sweetie, you aren't special. At all.

I'm tagging:

Nola
Ames
Devon
Zeek
Devonna
Fiona
Daniela
Mailyn
Moment
Beta Fishy
E4C5
Dance Chica

And whoever else wants to do it. Because I know a lot of you want to. LOL

The Picture Post

Me and MM at my Christmas Party last year

Me at my Christmas Party

Another pic of me and MM at my Christmas Party (just because I wanted to, so there!)


Me and my Baby Sister (aka, the Drama Queen)


My Favorite Marine

Me and Isabel at the beginning of this month

Sunday, August 20, 2006

I'm just so freakin lazy..

I have so many posts to put up, and no motivation what-so-ever to do it. *sigh*

I'm working on my 20 Things That Piss Me Off post (something I was tagged by Jazz for), but I'm having trouble narrowing down the things that piss me off the most. I'll work on that.

MM and I went another round in the Montana Boxing Match last night, so I'll have the details of that conversation later.

More James news to come. Though, honestly, I'm thinking the boy just isn't real bright and leaving him in the cluthes of his girlfriend is the only way to go. We shall see....

I suppose eventually I'll need to put up a new Epidsode in Tales of the Devil Woman, but I'm just not feeling creative at the moment. Not that I need to be especially creative when relating true tales of my mother, but still, you get what I mean, right?

We spent the day at the beach yesterday, and I met My Favorite Marine's new girlfriend. She seems nice enough, but I have some concerns. The day was pleasant, if a little exhausting.

The Rat Bastard is back to acting strange again. I find it odd that I'm the first person he calls whenever something happens in his life. He's overworked and looking for compassion, so he calls me. There's a death in the family, so he calls me. He has a good day, so he calls me. Do you think someone needs to explain to him - yet again - that we're divored and not very friendly with each other? Just curious.

Well, anyway, when I'm feeling a little less lazy, I'll update y'all. I'm still under restrictions at work about my personal time on the computer, plus I'm swamped, so that's why I haven't been visitng other blogs lately. Oh, I read most of them, but I don't comment. Don't think I don't love you if I don't comment.

Hope every one else has had a great weekend.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Whale Tails.....Sexy or Slutty??


What do you think? Are Whale Tails sexy or just plain slutty?

I've always wondered about this. Why in the world would you wear your pants so low that your thong hangs out? Personally, I think this looks slutty. I think it's much sexier to have no panty-line showing. Why? Because it makes men wonder. Kind of takes the mystery away when your thong is hanging out there for all to see, right?

So, tell me, is it sexy or slutty? Hot or not? Inquiring minds want to know...

Thursday, August 17, 2006

I'm Ready For A Change

The last few months, I've been feeling really restless and unsatisfied with my current job. Though I love the people I work with (most of the time) and enjoy what I do, I'm ready for something different.

I need to be challenged, and I'm not at this job anymore. I've learned about all I can learn here. Oh, there are new programs available and such, and new clients with new needs all the time, but I can't advance anymore. And believe me, I need to be able to advance. I need to feel like I'm learning, or there are things I don't know how to do yet, and sadly, that's not the case.

So, I want to start looking for a new job. The only thing is, I don't want to work in the same field anymore. I want to try something new. My problem? I have no idea what.

I have my real estate license, but I don't want to sell anything. Plus, I'd be in the same field and that doesn't appeal to me.

What do you think? Can you give me some ideas of new careers I can explore? I don't even know what I'd qualify for, or what kind of job I want to do. I just know I want it to be un-related to real estate.

Any ideas?

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

The Flip Side

Lately we've been talking about James and The Girlfriend and how she seems to be using what feminine wiles she has to trap him into marriage. I think we're all agreed that this is terribly wrong and James needs to jump ship ASAP!

But on the flip side, we have another situation. In this case, I believe it's the woman who's on the losing end of the battle. Let's see what you think....

Last week Thursday, our new receptionist came in and said that her boyfriend had been fired from his evening job for sexual harrassment. He was working as a bouncer at a bar in San Diego.

As the story unfolds, we find out that he said, "Hey Sexy, what's up?" to one of the waitresses, she complained, and he got fired.

Now, while that in itself isn't that unusual, the circumstances surrounding it are. You see, the waitress? She's his baby's mama. Yes, his ex-girlfriend, and the mother of his child.

From what I understand, she's a drug addict, and their child lives with her father, because she can't care for him. I guess they've been to court several times, and he's trying for custody of his son. Now, assuming that's the case, I would think they wouldn't be on the best terms with each other. Our receptionist confirmed that. She said he hates her and vice verse.

So, if that's the case, then why would he call her Sexy? Not only that, but she'd apparently been working there for more than two years when he got hired and he said he had no idea or he wouldn't have taken the job. I'm skeptical about that, but whatever. The biggest issue is...he never told his girlfriend (our receptionist) that he was working with his ex.

Is it just me, or does that seem fishy? He hates his baby mama, but he starts working at the same place as her. Then, he gets fired for calling her Sexy (in a bar, no less). Plus, he doesn't tell his current girlfriend that he's working with his ex.

Things that make you go HMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

Over the weekend she went to speak with him about it and came in yesterday just happy as a clam. She said they discussed the situation and worked things out, but didn't have time to give me the details (she still hasn't given me the details, BTW). I guess I'm wondering how they worked things out. IMO, he lied. Right? He didn't tell her he was working with his ex. A lie by an omission and all that, right? Plus, when she asked him why he hadn't told her, he said it was because he didn't want to upset her. WTF?

She asked me last week what I would do in her situation and I said, "I don't know. I'm not emotionally invested in this, so I can't say." She said, "Well, pretend it was MM, what would you do?"

I thought about it and thought about it, but the truth is, I honestly can't see MM doing that. I truly couldn't. I know he'd tell me right away that his ex was there, so I can't really say. I guess that's good for me, right? But it doesn't help her situation.

So, what do you think? Is something fishy here, or does ol' boy sound like he's telling the truth. What would you do if you found yourself in the same situation?

P.S. I love It's Happy Bunny. He's so cute!

MEN!

I swear, I just don't understand men sometimes.

The night before last, I didn't talk to MM at all. He usually calls me when he gets home from work (ususally around 9:00 - 9:30 p.m.), but he didn't. Since he has a somewhat dangerous job, I called him yesterday morning just to make sure he was alive and well. Literally.

I wasn't mad at him for not calling, but since he ususally does, I was concerned. Anyway, I was brief with him when I called yesterday morning, because I was on my way out the door for work and he was already at work, so neither of us really had time for a chat.

Then, yesterday afternoon, I called him to say hello and see how his day was going. He was busy at the time, so he told me he'd call me back. When he finally did a couple hours later, he sounded kind of irritated, but I just figured he was busy at work and didn't concern myself with it. We chatted for a few minutes then I told him, "I was just thinking about you and wanted to say hi. I better go." He sounded kind of...I don't know. Not really irritated, but short. I shrugged if off and told him I'd talk to him later.

Last night I decided to surprise him by going to his house after work and cooking him dinner. He got home kind of late (around 10:00) and I was laying on the couch watching Gone With The Wind (My all time favorite movie, BTW. I swear, it's the most quotable movie ever made..I love Rhett Butler!) and just vegging. I'd left dinner on the stove for him and kind of waved him toward it when he started talking to me (Hey, I was at the best part of the movie...when Rhett carries Scarlet up the stairs? PRICELESS!). He ate and then we went to bed.

Anywhoo, we're laying there in the dark and I'm starting to nod off when he says, "Honey, you know how you always say you're just a girl and I always argue that you're different?" Since I was half asleep and not really interested in having a conversation at the time, I said, "Yeah" and snuggled deeper under the covers (Side note: he keeps his house like a damn meat locker...I think when it's 65 degrees outside there is NO REASON to keep the air set at 69! SHEESH! End side note). He kind of started rambling on about something, though I wasn't paying much attention (what? I need all the beauty sleep I can get, ok??) until he said, "So I couldn't wait to fight with you." Huh? What did I miss here. Fight with me about what? I rolled over, wide awake now, and said, "What? What did you want to fight with me about?"

Well, turns out that when I called him yesterday morning to make sure he was alive and well, he thought I was being a smartass about it and that I was really pissed that he hadn't called. Then, when I called him yesterday afternoon to say hi, he figured I was calling to bitch him out for not calling me the night before. WTF? Like I care if he doesn't call me ONE night? Stoopid!

So, I'm sort of looking at him like he's on crack, and he says, "I was all ready for it, too. I'd gotten myself all worked up and I even knew what I was going to say to you when you started bitching at me." OH.HELL.NO. He was MAD at me because he THOUGHT I was mad at him. I swear, that's such a girl thing to do! I told him that and he snorted. He said, "I kept having flashbacks to my ex-girlfriends. THEY would have been pissed." I said, "Honey, when have I ever been like your ex-girlfriends." He just stayed quiet. The freak.

Anyway, he said the whole point in him telling me all of this was that it just proved his point that even though I say I'm just a girl like all the others, I'm really not. I said, "Babe. I never said I was like any other girl. Ever. Because while I may be just a girl, I'm not a girl like any other. I mean, really, What Were You Expecting?" He laughed at the reference to my blog and snuggled up to me. Then a thought struck me. I glared at him and said, "Did you talk shit about me to your friends at work?" He looked away and said no, but I could tell by the blush creeping over his face that he was lying. I poked him in the ribs and said, "You better tell them the truth tomorrow." He grunted and said, "I already did." LOL Silly boy.

And they say girls have issues. HA!

Monday, August 14, 2006

Late Night Snacks Are BAD!!!!

It's all Jazz's fault. No, seriously!

What to know what I'm talking about? Go peep out Jazz's blog for today.

SHE TOTALLY MADE ME DO IT! The jerk.

And I swear I felt my ass expanding as I was laying in bed last night.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

What a Lazy Day

I love days like today. I've done exactly...nothing. Nothing that could be considered very important, anyway.

I read a book, fed my children breakfast, did a load of laundry, played around on the computer, did some edits on a story for a friend, accidentally deleted said edits and got pissed about it, talked on the phone for almost three hours (to two different people), fed my children lunch, painted my toenails, talked on the phone some more, read another book, laid on the couch and stared at the ceiling, worked on my own story for awhile and filed my fingernails.

That's it. That's all I've done today. Isn't that fabulous??

Yesterday I bummed around at home, scrubbing floors and such, then took the kids swimming with my aunt and sister. My other aunt met us there with her husband and four boys and we played around and ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I wonder what it says about me that I still like PB&J just as much now as I did when I was a kid...well, it doesn't matter, right?

Last night I went to MM's to spend the night. He always wants me to spend the night. I think if I would agree (and hadn't just signed a one year lease) he'd be more than thrilled to have me move in. Of course, that's not an option since I just signed said lease and refuse to live with a man before we're married. Since I'm still on the ten-year-plan for marriage, I doubt that will happen anytime soon. Until then, I just have to listen to MM bitching that he wants me to sleep over and pouting when I don't. I'm sure I can deal with it.

While I was waiting for him to get home from work, I started watching The World's Fastest Indian. It seemed to kind of drag a bit, but I ended up really enjoying it, and totally rooting the old guy on. I'd recommend it if you haven't already watched it. MM says he hopes to be just like that when he's old (watch the movie to see what I mean). My favorite line from the movie? When the old woman towards the beginning says, "What? Dirty old men need love too, you know!" LOL

Tonight, the kids are staying with my mom, so I'm going to veg around here, doing nothing. I might read another book, or watch a movie, or write some more, but that's the extent of my plans. Doesn't that sound exciting?

I hope everyone else had a good weekend.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Quick James Update

Remember James and The Girlfriend? Well..

She's not pregnant.


Yet.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Lock Boy to the Rescue!

*I'm having issues uploading pics, so the weekend post will have to wait. In the meantime, here's something to entertain you*

My profession is very staid. When you're dealing with someone's money, you're dealing with their emotions. It just happens that way. I'm a loan processor, so my job is to approve you for a loan. If you want to buy or refinance a house, you would call my boss and he'd take your loan application and run your credit, gather your financial info and then hand your file to me. I'm the one that stamps an APPROVE or DENY on it.

When I'm determining if you qualify for a loan or not, I check with various different lenders to see if they have a program that meets your needs and can give you a rate you'll be happy with. We have a ton of different lenders we use, but only five or six that we send loans to on a regular basis.

Now, here the thing: This is a very serious business. We're helping people to either buy the home they've always wanted, or refinance their current mortgage to get them a lower payment or put cash in their pockets from the equity they've built up in their current home. Needless to say, most of the lenders we work with aren't very fun. They're trying to determine if the client is a good risk or not, while staying within their company guidelines. We're trying to get loans closed so our clients are happy and we get paid. We're kind of at opposite sides of the field here.

What I'm trying to say is....most lenders are complete jerks. No, seriously. They figure they're doing us a favor and they aren't inclined to play nice. That's just the way it is. But occasionally we do find an employee or two that don't take themselves too seriously. That's what happened today.

We recently started using a new lender, and DW went online to lock a rate for a client. What that means to you non-loan people is: When you apply for a loan, the interest rate determines your payment. We quote you a certain rate, base your payment off of it, then have to find a lender that will accept your loan with that rate. We have to base them on the current interest rates, but different lenders offer different programs and therefore different rates.

Anyway, once we find a lender, we lock your loan. That means we lock in the current rate so it doesn't change before your loan closes. Does that make sense?

So, DW locks this loan online (through the lender website) and then receives a confirmation of the lock via email. (Still with me out there? Yes, I have a point, I swear! Just KEEP READING! Sheesh. Tough Crowd!)

At the bottom of the email it says,

"Thank you for using our company. Sincerely, Mario (Lock Boy)"

DW cracks up and the following conversation ensues.

DW: LOL (lock boy) that is too much! hehehehe!


LB: Just happy to serve, Ms. – now I must be off…. Up Up and Awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!


DW: Dude, I totally have a new superhero!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LB: You must not tell anyone my true identity(I wonÂ’t wear tights for just anybody)!

DW: Mums the word, I feel very special!

Isn't that hilarious? From a LENDER and a COMPLETE stranger. It totally cracked us up and relieved some of our tension. I told DW, "We should send ALL of our loans to them". She agreed.

Anyway, just thought I'd share some office humor. Anything to make the day go by faster, right?

Monday, August 07, 2006

Monday's Suck...

I woke up this morning to my dog laying on my stomach with her nose buried in my face and my son curled up to my side - with wet pants - and the phone ringing insistently. At 6 a.m.

My car wouldn't start and when I popped the hood to see what the problem was, I accidentally dropped it on my finger. Then I noticed my battery was completely corroded and I banged my head on the raised hood while swearing a lot. Just about the time I was ready to scream, I saw two teenagers across the street from my house, laughing at me.

I broke the heel of my favorite pair of shoes while rushing back in the house to call my father to save me and spilled coffee on my white blouse as I was rushing out of the house ten minutes later.

When I got to work I realized we were out of coffee creamer, my computer had a virus that couldn't be deleted and four files I've been working on for months have blown up and possibly won't close. NO HOUSE FOR YOU!


Shortly before lunch I broke a nail and shortly after lunch I got hit with a major case of cramps. Now I'm bitchy on top of everything else.

Oh, and my panty line is showing. A LOT.

Some days, it just sucks to be me. Can you cheer me up? PLEASE?!?! Or at least put me out of my misery....

Friday, August 04, 2006

Femme Fatale or Normal Female?

We met for dinner on Wednesday at Borders, then decided to eat at the Yard House. If you haven't ever been and you're able to do so, I highly recommend it. The service is always fabulous, the food amazing and the drinks stiff. It's heavenly.

MM and James introduced The Girlfriend and I, and we sat down and ordered a drink. I had a Blue Hawaiian Martini, something guaranteed to relax me and make me happy. Our conversation was flowing very well, with plenty of laughter and conversation being tossed around, when The Girlfriend said, "I had a bad day today." We sort of glossed over it, but after she repeated her statement four or five times, MM finally asked, "Why did you have a bad day?" She hesitated for a minute then asked James, in a sort of excited yet wary voice, "Can I tell them?" He kind of shook his head, like he didn't know what to say, then shrugged and said, "Sure, whatever." She smiled like the cat who'd gotten the canary and said, "James might be a daddy."

MM and I shared a look, and I studied James for a moment, wondering what the deal was. I know they've only been dating for a couple of months (max, it may even be less than that) and when MM asked them something regarding dating, they're unanimous reply was, "We're not!" which led me to believe it was more a casual friends with benefits type of situation.

Anyway, I made some comment about that not being a bad thing and James said, "It will be to her mother." From what I understand The Girlfriend is a Jehova's Witness and lives with her very religious mother. Having grown up Catholic, I can understand how the prospect of being an unwed mother wouldn't sit well with my family, either. So I said, "Well, what makes you think so?"

Her immediate response was, "The doctor." I said, "The doctor says you're pregnant?"

Apparently she'd been having dizzy spells, so she went to the doctor. According to her, the doctor kept saying, "you're pregnant" which she kept denying. I'm thinking the doctor said something along the lines of, "Are you sexually active? Is it possible you might be pregnant? Let's do a test to be sure." But what do I know, right? I've only given birth to two children.

Anyway, she said they had taken blood and were waiting for the lab results to come in and she'd know for sure in a few days. I said, "Didn't they do a urine test?" Because although blood is more accurate, it's been my experience that urine is faster.

She completely ignored my question. Now, I know she heard me, because she was looking right at me, and I saw the look on her face when I asked and it wasn't good. So I know she was just avoiding the question. She tried to change the subject, so I waited a few seconds and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you said. Did they do an urine test?" She kind of glared at me then mumbled, "Itwasnegative" I said, "What, I didn't catch that" and she said, louder this time, "It was negative."

Hmm. I said, "So you're not pregnant? You're probably just anemic. It happens to me all the time." James looked much happier at this, but The Girlfriend was glaring daggers at me.

Anyway, the subject was changed again and then houses came up. The Girlfriend wrapped her arm around James' and started stroking his bicep. I shared another look with MM then went back to the conversation. Then The Girlfriend interrupted and said, "We need to buy a house." I said, "Well, I'm your girl. Where are you looking?" We talked about it for awhile and I told her she should look near MM's, because real estate is still cheaper there. James kind of nodded, but I could tell he was uncomfortable. Then she said, "I'm not sure where James wants to live." I was honestly surprised, the whole time we were discussing it, I thought she was referring to her and her mom buying a house. I said as much to her and she got that squinty-eyed look again. I looked at James and I swear he had that deer-in-the-headlights look. I made a non-committal noise and changed the subject again.

Then, out of nowhere, she said, "James is going to get me a Beemer." I said, "Oh?" James said, "Yes, I told her she should buy a 3 series." Did you catch that? She should buy? I looked at MM and he shrugged, so I teased James a little, "What do you mean a 3 series? I'd look at the 7 series if I was you." He said, "Yeah, right, she can't afford that" at the same time SHE said, "Yeah, right, HE can't afford that." I just shook my head.

After that the alcohol started to kick in and I didn't really pay very much attention to the conversation (this was 4 Blue Hawaiian Martini's later), but MM later told me that every time The Girlfriend mentioned something she wanted (i.e. house, car, clothes, etc) she said, "James is going to buy me" and James would say, "I told her to buy". Seems rather odd to me.

Then, yesterday MM told me that he saw The Girlfriend at work (he, James and The Girlfriend all work together) and she was telling him (MM) how she'd just had blood drawn for her lab tests and was feeling very dizzy. She said, "They took a lot of blood", but I specifically remember her telling me that the blood had been drawn on Tuesday and they were just waiting for the lab results to come back.

I have no patience what-so-ever for those women who tend to play stupid female games with the men in their life, trying to manipulate and/or trap him, or manage him or whatever. Though I will admit to "managing" MM on more than one occasion, I'm always very upfront about it. He, or anyone else for that matter, will never have to wonder where they stand with me. Though I can be just as bitchy and sarcastic as the next woman, I believe in being upfront about my feelings at all times. I don't play coy or say "nothing" when MM asks me what's wrong. If I have a problem, I tell him. If he asks me what's wrong, I either tell him the truth, that I have a problem and it's _____, or I tell him nothing and mean it.

I guess I can't really say for sure if The Girlfriend is trying to trap James, or is playing games with him, but it seemed that way to me. Based solely on the actions I described above, what do you think?

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Would You Marry A Stripper??

I know a lot of men out there say it would be a dream come true to marry a stripper, but that's just a fantasy, right? How many men out there (or women) would really marry an exotic dancer?

I'm working on a loan right now for some clients who are married, and the wife is a stripper. He met her as a stripper and all throughout their 2 year relationship she was a stripper and now that they're married, she's still stripping. While working on the file, it made me wonder, could I be with a stripper?

I don't think I could. If MM were a stripper, I think I'd constantly wonder. Plus, wouldn't a lap dance be cheating? I think it would. I also know from previous conversations with him that if I were an exotic dancer, he'd have major issues with it. He says, "I don't share", and I think most other men will agree with that.

So tell me, what are your thoughts? Men, would you have a problem with your girl being a stripper? Ladies, could you deal with your man stripping? What about the moral issues? Is it wrong for a man/woman to be in a relationship and be an exotic dancer, too? What about the lap dances? Would that be considered a form of cheating?

Enlighten me....

On another note:

The best excuse for being tardy that I've ever heard:

We had a rep in here a bit ago who said she'd just come from another office where she had an appointment with a client. The client was almost an hour late, and she came in rushed and apologized profusely.

"I'm so sorry I was late, but I got rear-ended."

"Oh, gosh, I'm sorry to hear that! Are you ok?" Our rep replied.

The client said, "Oh, I'm fine, it happened in the bedroom."

Priceless!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

A Double Date

Despite my rather outgoing blogger personality, I'm rather very shy in RL. I don't do well in large crowds or when meeting new people. I have no idea why this is, but I think people tend to get the wrong impression of me when I first meet them, because I'm reticent. Not only that, but when I'm nervous I tend to joke a lot, and since I have a rather sarcastic sense of humor, I tend to come off as not only snobbish, but bitchy as well.

Which brings me to my dilemma for today. One of MM's good friends, James, asked if MM and I would like to join he and his girlfriend for dinner this evening. Like, a double date. I'm very nervous about it for several reasons:

1) Though I've met James, I don't know him well, and I have a running joke with MM that he isn't allowed to play with James anymore, because they always get into trouble when they're together. Though MM and I know it's only a joke, I think James thinks I'm serious. That is SOOO not the case, but it could make for awkwardness during dinner.

2) I already have a somewhat bad opinion formed of said girlfriend, because of a hew things MM has told me. He swears she's a sweet, funny person, but she also plays those stupid girl games with James that bug the shit out of me.

For example: James was working the night shift, which is 6 p.m. to 6 a.m. He was supposed to meet his girl for breakfast when he got off of work, but he called to cancel because he was tired and just wanted to drop into bed. So his girl tells MM that, "If he's too tired for me now, I'm going to be too tired for him later", meaning when she got off of work and James wanted to get some. Things like this tend to piss me off. Had James said he couldn't keep their breakfast date because he was going out with the boys instead, that would be one thing. But he'd just worked a 12 hour overnight shift, so his being tired was understandable. I just don't have the patience to deal with idiotic women like that.

3) I haven't seen MM since last week Friday and I'd rather just spend a quiet evening alone with him than have to share him with other people. Yes, I realize this is quite selfish of me, but I can't help it.

I've already agreed to the dinner, but the way I'm feeling now, I'm sure I won't be very good company. What do y'all think? Should I bow out of the dinner, or should I go? If I go, how should I get myself out of this funky mood I'm in so I'm not a complete bore at dinner? Any suggestions?

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