Thursday, January 26, 2006

Tales of the Devil Woman: Episode 6

I have a thing for motorcycles. I love everything about them. I love the speed of a street bike, the rumble of a Harley. I love the feel of all that steel rumbling between my legs. Perhaps it's because I grew up near Sturgis, South Dakota, home of the annual bike rally. Perhaps it's because I grew up with four uncles who were obsessed with them and shared their appreciation with me.

Or perhaps it's yet another thing I inherited from the Devil Woman.

We're headed to the mall a few months ago, me driving and DW in the passenger seat. We stop at a red light and a motorcycle goes by. My head whips around to watch it. I admire the colors of the bike, the rumble of the engine and the rather broad shoulders of the man riding it.

This, apparently, sparks a memory for the Devil Woman, because she gasps and looks at me. "I totally forgot to tell you," she says, in the excited voice of a teenager revealing a juicy tid-bit about her latest crush, "I was driving home from work the other day and saw this motorcycle cop with the most amazing shoulders."

She proceeds to tell me, in vivid detail, the build and physique of said motorcycle cop. As she's talking, she faces forward again and closes her eyes, obviously reliving the moment in her mind. I'm listening - and trying not to snicker aloud - when the light changes from red to green. I step on the gas and start forward through the intersection. The Devil Woman gasps, jerks forward, graps my arm and says, "Watch out!". I jump in my seat and hit the brakes, thinking she saw someone coming through the intersection and we're about to have a horrible accident. I quickly look around and seeing nothing, ask her, "What? Where?".

She looks at me, then back at the road, then falls against her seat. "Nevermind," she says. I give her a look, like you lost your damn mind and continue on. About half a block later it dawns on me.

As she was describing the motorcycle cop, she was picturing herself behind him and when I stepped on the gas she was jerked from her daydream and probably felt like she was falling off the back of the bike.

I start snickering and glance at her out of the corner of my eye. She's staring straight ahead and her face is so red I'm surprised the car isn't glowing. My snickers turn into full blown giggles and she joins me. "Nothing like getting wrapped up in a fantasy," she says, while gasping for breath.

And doesn't that just say it all??


Isabel said...

lol! Your poor mom.. hee hee

Dylan said...

LMAO, I'm telling Devil Mom that you posted this!! LOL, oh gosh this is too funny!

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